Naturally
by CMayleenJ
Summary: After suffering heart break too many times, Marisol decided to give herself a new life. She has new responsablilties and no one is going to throw her focus off, that's what she wanted to believe. And it worked for a while before old faces stir up old emotions.
1. Chapter 1

I made this story SUCH a long time ago, like *Looks on date listed on Wattpad* whoa... two freaking years ago. I don't usually like Twilight but I made this as a joke at first but it drew a lot of people in, so I thought "eh, what the hell," so I posted the first four chapters and tied them together. Mind this: I didn't put 100% in this like I do with my other story. :) So sorry if it sucks, if it does, well the constitution allows you write in the comment box. Thoughts? I want to compare this piece of work to my recent one.

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I wasted another minute staring at the photo in my hand, hesitant to put it back in the drawer. It made me smile and cry at the same time, seeing how happy Jacob made me when he lifted me off the ground in a hug but also reminding me that we would never share those moments again. "Take it," May insisted. "Cause we both know you're going to regret leaving it behind."

"Why?" I argued, my grip tightening around the frame, my knuckled turning whiter than my usual pale skin. "I hate Jake, he's the reason I'm leaving the damn place. I don't need to add to painful memories I already have." I was surprised at her response.

"I'm proud of you, Marisol." I looked up at May, her smile was so contagious. She wore a huge grin on her smooth white face, one that couldn't be copied even though I tried. "You gave love a chance, and even though you we're slapped in the face in the end, you got up and continued to love him."

"I was stupid," I disagreed, slamming the picture down. I guess my true anger was showing because when it crashed onto the desk, the glass broke, shards flew everywhere, including the floor.

"Stupid?" May questioned, giving me a skeptical look. Her willow green eyes, great for glaring, would narrow and her left, thin brown brow would rise while the other would stay the same. I never saw anyone else do it like she could. "Stupid? Yes, you can be. But not for pursuing Jacob. I bet it was the bravest thing you ever done, well second to this."

"Running away?" I sarcastically shot back, May shook her head and laid her hand on my shoulder, making me shiver because of her icy cold touch.

"Moving on," she replied smoothly before disappearing before my eyes. But I still heard her voice echo in my dim lit room, "you walked away and I know how hard that is for you to do. But just because you gave up doesn't mean you're weak. You're still the fighter I knew you were before, just a wiser one. You came here, took an opportunity, gained more experience, and over all grew stronger." We both looked down at the fame which I flipped over to see the picture inside. "Jacob should remind you of that," she whispered, swiping her transparent finger over his face. "That's why you should take this, a symbol of your strength." I showed her small smiled, taking the picture from the frame and held it in my hand.

"It still makes me mad," I said to May. I felt a cold breeze pass me, I looked behind me and saw May walk over to the window next to the bed across the room, peering through the curtains. I slid the photo into the front pocket of my black backpack, next to my red iPod.

"Why wouldn't it?" I sat down on my bed, my legs were feeling weak and I was afraid I'd collapse. "That idiot did nothing but hurt you, he knows that, which is why he should suffer. You didn't deserve the hell he put you through. You learned your lessons, he should, too." May appeared next to me. "He doesn't deserve you anymore and he's going to learn that in a very short time when he realizes you aren't coming back." May moved to the window again, tilting her head against the glass, her long maple brown hair falling over her shoulders. "You will be leaving soon, so you should start writing that note to your mother before Taylor picks you up." I pulled out my red, flat flip phone from my jean's pocket to look at the time; it was very close to one so I only had ten minutes to write, I didn't think that was much time since I had so much to say to the bitch. My room was right next to the stairs; I wasted no minute rushing down them to the kitchen which was on my left. I pulled out a piece of paper from one of my notebooks lying on the kitchen table. "I don't know what to write," I hoarsely admitted. I was on the verge of tears remembering all the shit she put me through, so maybe I did have a few ideas to mention in the letter but I didn't know how to start.

"Then don't," May suggested, looking at the purple marker in my hand. "Why even bother with her? She probably won't care anyways; actually she'd probably be happy that you decided the leave. Maybe that was her goal these past sixteen years, to make you hate her so much that you'd run away from her money that she can now spend carelessly." That angered me, not May, the truth. These past sixteen years she did nothing but ruin my life, moving me away from my friends to suffer endless rain and cold away from the sunshine back in California I missed so much. I wrote in large, bold letters I'M GONE, GOOD JOB. I slammed the marker down next to my textbook and sat in one of the chairs.

"So short and yet so strong." May muttered next to me, looking over my shoulder to read the note. "Describes you perfectly!" I couldn't help but share a grin with her, I was proud of myself for being so simple instead of getting too carried away in writing. I made my point clear. I pulled out my phone and looked over my messages, my eyes started to sting when I finished reading the last one sent from an angry Jacob. "You should leave it behind," I looked up at May whose eyes were staring at my phone. "If you leave it behind then you'd be cutting off all connections that anyone on this reservation has with you, making a new start easier." I knew May was right, my mother would be furious with me, probably because she would be the one to blame instead of me now, and won't stop harassing me until I'm back 'home' where she'll give me the worse beating in my life. Jacob and the rest of his friends would say some sweet things to me so I would come back thinking they'd finally be nice to me again only to be proven wrong. I don't know why they would even try; maybe they find it enjoyable to make me cry, not that I'd cry in front of them. But they'd still try. So I put my phone on the piece of paper underneath my writing.

I jumped out of me seat when someone pounded on the front door. I looked to the window and ducked to the tile ground when I saw a shadow come towards it. "Merris?"

I uncovered my eyes and smiled when I saw it was Seth who had called my name from outside. I shakily stood up, walked into the entry way and opened the front door, hugging a wet Seth. When I let go, I whined because my black tank top underneath my tee shirt could be seen. I shouldn't have worn white but then again I wasn't expecting guest.

"Shouldn't you be in school?" I asked, grabbing my red coat from the coat closet. I lead Seth out to the porch before he could enter the kitchen, I didn't want him to see the note I wrote down, he didn't know of my plans to leave. I didn't tell anyone, especially not Seth. It would hurt him and ruin the trust I shared with him.

"I should be asking you the same thing," Seth replied, flashing me a smile that made me sigh. I would miss his, so much. He was the sweetest kid I knew, never once had he given me a hard time. He offered hugs and company, that's what I loved about him so much. He put me before his own needs, even when everyone was giving him hell for it. I would miss him so much. "What's with the sad face?"

"Just thinking about how I can always count on you," I gave him another hug; I had to look up so gaze up into his dark eyes because he was so tall. He ran his hand through my black hair, the same color as his except mine was straighter. "Thanks for coming, I needed someone to say good bye to." He looked down at me, his confusion obvious. "I'll be leaving in soon, my cousin is picking me up to go shopping." I left out the part about her and I shopping after we landed on the other side of the country. If I didn't then he'd defiantly start asking questions.

"So you're ditching school to go shopping?" Seth asks, sitting down on the porch steps. I shrugged and he stares at me skeptically.

"I haven't seen her a while, she's close to town and promised some personal time with me before she leaves today." I felt horrible lying to Seth but I couldn't get him involved with this, he had to be just as clueless as everyone else. But I tried to manipulate the words a little bit so most of it would be true, Taylor did promise me some re-bonding time, though she wasn't my cousin. Mom and Dad both didn't have siblings, making it impossible to have any cousins at all. That would make it a little difficult for mom to find me then (if she did tried, which I doubted), giving me a good amount of time to start a new identity.

"Well before you go, I want to give you your birthday gift." Seth pulled out a folded piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to me. I burst out in tears when I opened it. Seth had printed out a picture of me kissing the nose of the sweetest sandy furred wolf, Seth in his wolf form. It was the cutest thing I ever saw. "You don't like it?" He asked, holding my tiny, trembling body.

"I love it," I whispered, sobbing more after. I held the picture close to my heart; it will be my most cherished possessions of all. "Why are you giving it to me now when my birthday is on Wednesday?" I mumbled, wiping my nose with my sleeve. It was disgusting, I'd never do it in public, but with Seth I couldn't care. He never criticized me.

He smiled and ran his hand down my hair, rubbing my back slowly. "After what happened between you and Jake last night I thought you needed some cheering up, I couldn't wait the two days cause I thought you'd actually leave like you said." I closed my eyes and cried harder, until it was getting hard to breathe. "You're actually leaving, aren't you?" I couldn't look up at him and say it to his face. I just nodded while looking down at the soggy ground. He didn't say anything for a long time, I knew I disappointed him.

"I'm sorry," was all I could say before crying into his shoulder. His firm arms wrapped around me, his chin resting on my head.

"Don't be," he whispered. I could his voice crack, "its better that you get away from this place anyways. Will you be happy?" I snuggled closer to him, opening my eyes though my vision was blurry due to the tears I kept in.

"Very," I mumbled into his chest. "I have a friend that's letting me stay at her house, her father loves me, always treated me like his own. I can't wait to see him again." I look up and see his eyes just as wet as mine, I lift up my thumb and wipe away his tears. "I'm going to be wanted again, loved, and cared for. I'm finally going to be happy." I push away from his chest and stood up, folding his present into my coat pocket before zipping it, then stepped onto the wet grass, Seth following me. "I love you Seth, you've always been there for me even though the whole pack beat you up for it. I'm sorry you went through that because of me." Seth put his finger on my lips to silence me.

"Don't be," he pulled me into another hug which I returned gratefully. "You're worth it." My throat was dry and I choked up, I tightened my grasp around Seth, I never wanted to let him go. "I wish you didn't have to leave," I let my arms go limp. I didn't want him to talk me out of this, I wanted to finally be free of Jacob's grasp. "But I know you have to. Just promise me that we'll see each other again?" I looked up and almost died inside, they were sweet yet so sad.

"One day," I mumbled. I couldn't speak any longer cause I'd cry again. I needed to be ready for Taylor, I needed to leave soon before anyone else could hurt me. "I swear on my father's grave I'll come back here." He smiled down at me and surprised me, by kissing me. Not on the forehead or cheek like any brother do but on the lips. I didn't know what to say, I just gaped up at him when he stopped.

"I don't regret that," my eyes widened when he said this. "Marisol, life's unpredictable so I have to be prepared to change my plans. You taught me that when we first met. I didn't expect to fall in love with you, hard not to with that lovable personality you have, but you being Jake's imprint made you off limits, even though he doesn't want you. But I did fall for you, harder than I expected, faster, too. I didn't fight it, I thought that someday Jake would win Bella and then you and I could happen but we never did. Now that your going, I couldn't let you go without knowing my feelings." I didn't reply, instead I crash my lips onto his. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he lifted me up so I wouldn't be on my toes. I couldn't help but cry at the same time, it was perfect.

"I'd stay," his grasp on my waist tightened. "But this could never happen." I let go and he let me drop on the ground, I stared into his eyes and firmly held both his hands. "Jake would never allow it."

"He can't control you life anymore!" He pleaded. I laid my head onto his shoulder.

"But he could kill you, after what happened last night, he wouldn't hesitate to kill me, too. Its better I just leave, I promise I'll visit and we'll make this work once Jake's out of the picture, you're too good of a guy to leave behind." He pushed my banes aside from my face. "Thank you again, for everything. I don't think I would have lasted as long as I have without you." He kissed me again and I dug my hands into his hair but we were interrupted when we heard someone pull up in the drive. I jumped, worried it wasn't who I thought it was but sighed when I saw an unfamiliar black Cadillac SUV pulling up on the dirt road. I knew it wasn't supposed to be anyone from here so I should've been Taylor, I was right. She rolled down the driver's seat window, smiling at me then glaring at Seth.

"Jacob?" She asked her voice dangerously low. Seth shook his head and stepped forward to her, extending his hand.

"Seth Clearwater," he introduced, earning a slight grin from Taylor.

"Nice to meet you," she replied, I gave her a warning look which she didn't notice it, instead Taylor turns to me a moment after. "Ready to go?" She asks, I nodded. I gave Seth another hug before walking around the big truck and stepping into the passenger side. "Seth," Taylor called out, "I can't thank you enough for what you've done for Merris." I waved good bye to him as Taylor drove out of the driveway. Seth ran back into the woods across from my pathetic little cabin that I used to live in.

"You can throw your backpack into the back." I did then I looked up at the blond. I was surprised that Seth didn't recognize her when she puled up, she gets so confused with Taylor Swift that I lost count after eighty or so times. Plus with her name Taylor, it only makes it funnier. The only thing she's missing is the voice, oh boy, when she sings she could very well make you def.

"I'm so happy your coming back to Maryland with me, " Taylor stated, picking up her iPhone and tapping her newly manicured nails onto the screen. I had to grin, she was just as fast at texting as I am. Not even a second later her furious tapping stopped when she dropped the device in her lap. "I promise you won't regret this."

"I know I won't," I grumbled. "So whats the plan?" I asked her, I needed to know when

Taylor unexpectedly stopped the car. I head jolted up, away from the window I was leaning on, and looked towards the beach which Taylor was staring at. "Do you know that girl? The one who's coming towards us?" I looked closer and I recognized her immediately, the three scars on her cheek gave her identity away.

"That's Emily," I mumbled, sinking into my seat so Emily couldn't possibly see me. "Sam's fiance." Taylor looked back down at me, her blue eyes we're asking the questions, not her mouth. "Jacob's friend." She glared back at Emily, who I thought didn't deserve it but I was no mood to talk. I just wanted to get the hell away from there, which we did thankfully because Taylor pushed the gas pedal and sped out of the small reservation before Emily could reach us.

"Wish we had more time, I really wanted to surf on those waves." I heard Taylor mutter while we drove on the lonely road to the air port. While Taylor was texting on her phone, I took the opportunity to turn on the radio. My hand was swatted away after I had succeeded. The volume was turned down instantly and Taylor's blue eyes focused deeply at me, keeping a stead place on the road. "Now don't you dare change the subject on me like you did to me last night, what the hell went down last night?" I looked at the glass, trying not to show her the tears forming in my eyes. "You do know there is such thing as a reflection, right? You're crying, why?"

"You know already." I whispered, my voice was cracking.

"No, I don't!" She sharply shouted. "You called me only two days ago asking me to get you the hell out of there. Nothing else, I want to know, now! Not some short summary, I need to god damn details!" I flinched at her voice, which was loud and obviously angry. "I'm sorry, Merry Bear." She lowered her voice, hoping to calm me down using a nickname that she was only allowed to call me. "It's just, I never seen you so upset before. You've always been so cheery, bright, so happy. Now all of a sudden you went May on me. Do you know how much that hurts me? I don't want to lose another friend. Please, let me in." Now she was the one whose voice was cracking.

I took a deep breath, sniffled, and wiped my nose on my sleeve. "I caught Jacob with Bella again," Taylor gave me a questioning look. "No, he wasn't, um, on top of her." The imaged itself make me cringe. "But seeing him kiss her is just as worse as that." That kiss on the cheek he gave her, seemed innocent enough if it wasn't for his hand wrapped around her waist. "I confronted him about it, again. As usual he denied it but I was smart enough to take a picture of it, to show him I had proof. I thought I had the upper hand, that I finally had him cornered. But," my throat burned, I was on the edge now. "But he surprised me. He caught me off guard by not only admitting it but telling me how much he loves her." I took a gulp. "I heard it before, before him and me," I couldn't finish that sentence. That night made me shiver in disgust, where his hands were and how I willingly let him in me. I felt like a whore, not the best feelings. "I wanted to forget about it, I asked him to take it back. He said I'll never be Bella, to stop trying. I said I was his imp-" I realized she had no idea about werewolves and the imprinting process. "We were meant to be, he said he wished to never have met me." That's when I let my tears fall, I gave up on holding them in. I squeezed my eyes shut and wiped my face which was probably beat red now. "I said he needed to stop acting like a bitch and let her go, she belongs to Edward, always will. He didn't except the truth too well," I whispered now, finding it hard to talk.

"That's when he slapped you," Taylor finished, since I couldn't. I was too busy sobbing into my lap. "Pretty hard, too. The side of your face is practically black and blue!" Taylor harshly yelled out. I covered my cheek, it was wet, and looked up to her but kept my head low. I thought I covered it up, I spent a whole forty five minutes on make up. I guess I didn't use my water proof make up. I took a few deep breaths and muttered, "What did he do next?" shortly after.

"I don't know, I crawled out of his house and into the woods." He didn't come looking for me, if he did he would've found me, er, caught up with me not even five minutes after. Her knuckled turned while grasping her steering wheel.

"Not even a phone call? A text? Hell, even send one of his friends?" Taylor angrily asked, her eyes glaring at the wet road in front of us.

"It was pretty late at night," I mumbled. I couldn't speak loudly, afraid I'd break into tears again. I'm not a person who wants to weep. I'm always the strong and courageous one. I felt weak and pathetic, and Taylor was only making it worse. Well she was only stating the truth, so I shouldn't be blaming her.

"So after slapping you he just went to sleep? My god, why didn't leave him before?" Taylor asked, using the same tone as before.

"I thought he would stop," I mumbled. I shouldn't have said it.

"He did this before!" She turned the vehicle into a ditch and stopped it, taking the chance to pull me up and face her. "What the hell is wrong with you? Did he hit you so hard the first time you lost your sense? Out of all the people we know you're the one who ends up the stupid pity party-"

"STOP!" I yelled, I was finally releasing my hidden rage. "I'm not the pity party! I haven't told anyone expect for you! I'm not some attention whore who goes around telling people about her problems. Whatever happened between me and Jacob stayed between me and Jacob, or at least that was my concept. I don't know what the hell that bastard was telling his friends but I never told any of mine what he did, so don't you dare say that!" I tightened my hands in fist but I was not going to raise them. Me, a tiny little thing, compared to a five foot nine girl like Taylor, I had no chance. Even if I did have some fighting back round.

Taylor took a good second to look at me before saying this, "fine. I take it back. I have to ask though, why was this time different? Why are you finally leaving?"

I pressed my hand onto my then flat stomach, "it wasn't just me anymore. I have to consider someone else now." She looked down to where I was staring at then she finally realized what I meant.

"You're pregnant?" She asked, short of breath, moments after an awkward silence. I nodded, what else should've said? That I was sorry and stupid? Stupid, yes. Sorry? No, not ever. My baby may have been unexpected, an accident, but it will never be a mistake. It opened up my eyes, made me see what I denied for so long. I was thankful, not hateful like my mother was in I arrived. I noticed the small grin on her face and realized how close her hands were to her phone.

She was about to pick it up before I yelled out, "stop!" She gave me a skeptical look but I didn't fall for her 'I wasn't going to do anything' act. "I swear to god, you text anyone about this I will go get an abortion!" I threatened. I was dead serious. "So then when people question me about it I'll just say it was just a close call, or a joke. Either way there will be no baby." Taylor's eyes widened and pointed her index finger at me.

"You wouldn't," she warned her voice low and in a whisper. "You know how I feel about abortions," she whined, using a completely opposite voice. Loud and high.

"Exactly, is that enough motivation for you to keep quiet?" I asked, crossing my arms over my growing chest.

"Fine," she agreed, childishly may I add. She can be such a kid most times. "You do know that they will find out later when that stomach pops out."

I sighed, "I know. I just," I rolled my eyes when Taylor mocked, very offensively. "I want to tell them myself. Give me some time, okay? I really haven't planned anything out! I just needed to get out of that hell hole before I died!" That got Taylor to shut up. She started up the Escalade and was about to drive away from the ditch until a familiar silver Volvo pulled up beside us.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey, I had some time so I compiled another batch of chapter of this story of my wattpad account. Everytime you see a BREAK, it's the starting of a new chapter. :) I hope you enjoy. I actually had a laugh re-reading this. Man, its good to go down memory lane. I find it hard to believe I graduated some many levels of writing after publishing this. Feel free to review -good or bad. I just want to thank you for even reading this XD Because, even if I think its embarrassing, the fact you still read it is really flattering and I appreciate your comments and views, it really brightens my day after a long, stressful day of work and I write this a hobby, I don't get paid for it, and when you spare a minute of your time just to read it, words can't express my gratitude. I'm really glad you like it. :)

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I slammed my head against the dashboard as Edward, chalky pale just like when I last saw him, got out of the driver seat and walked towards my window. I rolled down my window and glared at him, I wasn't his biggest fan. That's one thing Jacob and I shared in common, we loathed him. I should, being Jacob's loyal girl. Or used to be. "Shouldn't you be at school?" I harshly asked, he didn't mind my cold voice.

"I just wanted to say good bye." He calmly replied. I looked behind him, trying to see his faithful bitch was in the passenger seat. "She's not with me, I left her with Jacob." That made me angry, even though it shouldn't matter anymore because I'm no longer involved with him. "Can we talk?" I was about to tell him to get the hell away from me but he said something before I could open my mouth. "Alice sent me." I smiled, not a lot though, at her name. She was the only vampire I liked. "Thank you," he murmured as I got out of the passenger seat. I motioned a dazed Taylor with my finger that I'll be back in minutes. She didn't even nod while Edward steered me the other side of his car. "Where are you going?"

"I thought you knew, being a mind reader and all." I retorted, looking down on the wet ground. The rain was falling harder every second while we leaned against his car.

"You're original plans were to go to Maryland, now Alice is seeing something different. It changes a lot. Montana, Texas, but the most recent place was New York. We're worried about you, we don't know if you're going to be okay or not."

"Why should you care anyways?" I was shaking, from either being too cold or too upset. Honestly I never felt cared for those past months and as much as I hate to admit the Cullen's made me feel safe and comfortable. Not that I hung around them much, Jake always kept me a good distance. But whenever I got some free time one of them, mostly Edward or Rosalie, would accompany me doing whatever, despite my many protest. "I'll be okay. Taylor's always been like that. Maybe she'll drag me to China one of these days, she randomly brought me to Mexico twice so I wouldn't be surprised." That made both Edward and I laugh. "I'll be fine, not like I'm going to kill myself or something." For some reason that made Edward twitch. I didn't want to ask questions, I was anxious to leave soon. "Just, please, stop worrying about me. I'm a big girl, despite my size. I can take care of myself. No asshole is going to ruin my life."

Edward laid his icy hand on my shoulder, gave me a quick hug, too, but long enough to whisper my ear "We'll try, but I can't guarantee we will." He let go but kept his hands firm on my shoulders. "What should I tell Jacob?" I stepped back, hurting my shoulders when I pulled away from his grip. I choked, just thinking of him. I originally wanted to tell him nothing but this was a great opportunity. I felt a small grin grow on my face thinking about his reaction, having Edward tell him.

"Tell him he got what he wanted," I paused. This was what the bastard deserved, he was a good man. Note my sarcasm there. "And- never mind. I really have to go." Edward grabbed my arm lightly and his golden eyes stared down at me.

"If you ever need anything, please, come to us." I gave a small smile and escaped into Taylor's SUV. The whole way to the airport I was bombarded with questions about Edward from Taylor, who obviously took an instant attraction to him. I became very annoyed very quickly.

_Few Years Later _

The air was cool but the wind was strong, making the atmosphere feel freezing. I stood outside of the airport in the brutal gust of skin burning wind waiting for my team mates to come. Maybe they already came, loaded, and were waiting for me? It was possible, the night was at its darkest and in Florida, that's pitch black.

My eyes went from wandering left to right to focus on almost blinding white lights driving up the winding road I also came up from twenty minutes ago. It came to a silent stop a few feet away from me in the parking lot, two spots away from my Mustang and I tried to make out details. It was white, seek, and I guessed it was a coupe considering its small size. Two people on my team had white cars, only one had a coupe while the other had a Suburban. I heard the door open and waited for the light to turn on inside, revealing a long haired brunette fussing with something on the passenger side of her BMW.

"Need help?" I yelled, she jumped and turned around to see me walking up to her car.

"Mary! My god, don't do that, I almost peed my pants." I let out a laugh and opened the door wider for her when she stepped her second leg out to get out. "Thanks. Can you help carry two of my bags for me please? I have, like, five bags and their super heavy." I rolled my eyes but helped her anyways. As she said, they were heavy and dragging even one might have pulled my arm muscles. What surprised me was how the hell she could've fit them all in her trunk!

"Thanks hon. How many bags did you pack?" She asked me, dragging another two cases behind her and a bag hanging on her shoulder inside.

I shrugged. "Two."

"I hoped you packed warm, it's really cold up there." She said, a glossy pink grin applied onto her flawless face.

"I know. I used to live there, remember?" I didn't mean to sound rude but it did and I apologized for my cold tone immediately but that didn't wipe the hurt expression on her face.

"I'm sorry." She murmured when we sat down in the waiting room.

"No, don't apologize. I'm the one who yelled at you. I'm sorry."

"You had a reason. You're anxious because it's been a long time since you went back there. There are people you had hoped to cut all connections to when you left and now you risk seeing them again, hell, even talking to them! You have every right to be snappy. I shouldn't have said something that you so obviously knew." I shook my head.

"Anna, please. Let's drop this, okay? Don't feel bad." I looked over my shoulder to see a tall young man our age come through the doors, two red travel cases rolling behind him. "I think I see Tony. Tony!" He stopped and looked in our direction and smiled, turned and strolled towards us. Both Anna and I welcomed with wide, white smiles which he returned perfectly.

You could say Anna and I had a crush on him, as well as any other girl who was blessed enough to have seen him. You see, Tony is very attractive, standing tall at six foot three with wide shoulders and a much toned structure. Not so gigantic that he could take on Emmett but enough to scary any mortal man, including a few werewolves, too. His legs are long and firm, very sturdy and impressive. My favorite piece of him would be his face. Despite his intimidating frame, his face could belong to an angel. Actually Tony himself could be an angel. His eyes are the sweetest of blues, they were soft and gentle. His smile is always present and can make your heart melt or flutter. His lips are pink and plush, perfect for kissing. Anna loved his hair, soft both in texture and in the shade of brown. They swept above his forehead and cut in a boyish style, over the ears but no longer. So to say Tony was handsome is the ultimate understatement. If Anna didn't have her determined eyes on him, I would've have taken my chance for a date with Tony.

Anna herself is a beauty. Her skin is an envious shade of sandstone and complimented her caramel brown hair. Her eyes are also brown but not a dense shade like my "mud splattered" brown, instead they are much lighter, like cherry wood. Under the right light they could appear red, too, as if a candle was held to her eyes and the reflected the fire's intensity right back. She wasn't tall, though, she was only three inches taller than me, making her five foot six. Tony still towered over her by nine inches. Together the two make a cute couple but unfortunately his heart was taken by another, a girl who we don't even know whose name is. I saw her picture once, on his iPhone. She looked a lot like Anna but with ivory skin and darker hair.

"Hello Ladies, I see I am already beaten here. Mind if I take a seat?" Anna couldn't drop the grin from her face like I could as he served around the rows of chairs to sit next to her. She had a hard time suppressing a giggle, too. That little flirt, I thought, watching her bat her eyes up at him. He swung his muscular arm over her shoulders and her faces began to swell with red, the same color as her vest. "Excited for the trip? It's been a long time since we traveled out of state." I just nodded, my good mood fading away again at the mention of Washington. For the past day I had been overwhelmed with emotions, ones I thought I left behind.

After our boss delivered the news I headed straight home to pack like she ordered. At first was angry. I didn't want to work in Washington and with another pack or any other vampires. An hour later I was sobbing on the couch, scared I would somehow meet up with Jacob again and have to admit the truth to him and he'd find out about my lost baby. Lastly, overall fear. My nervousness was at its worst when I was driving to the airport, I couldn't get my hands to stop shaking.

"I see Andrea," Anna announced, standing up and waving her hands towards the entrance. I look to where Andrea was and sure enough there was the petite blond scrambling inside, pulling her jacket close and picking up a suit case that had slipped out of her hands. Andrea looked up and saw the crazy brunette bouncing up and down in her seat, smiled lightly and scurried to our side. "You look like a mess." Anna bluntly said, examining Andrea's appearance. I smacked her in the head for her unneeded rudeness.

Andrea's small smile dulled to no smile at all. I felt sorry for her, how Anna kept constantly knocking her down over stupid insecurities. Andrea was gorgeous with crimped golden hair that cascaded onto her shoulder like a shining waterfall. Her face was flawless and heart shaped, making her eyes wider and more innocent than they already looked with her child-like glow. Her eyes are amazing, the deepest and brightest blue I had ever seen, almost neon to me. You could see them vividly from across the room. Her skin, contrast to ours, was ivory and her frame was petite and slim, you could easily scoop her up into a hug which, because of her personality, wouldn't mind at all.

"Don't you worry Andrea, you still look pretty. I have a brush in my suit case I can get if you really need it but if you use your fingers the knots will come right out." Six years ago I would've looked at myself as a maniac for being so... generous but that was because I was so materialistic?

I don't want to think about those dark days anymore. I pushed the memories out of my mind and forced an unnecessary smile onto my face.

"No thank you Mary," Andrea mumbled. I frowned. One thing I did dislike about her was her shyness and the quite almost incoherent voice that came with it. It's not like we will bite off her head, though it can feel that way. We can be insensitive. Now that I think about it, she's the most compassionate of us.

I turned my head and my eyes widened as I recognized another familiar face. "...boss?" I whispered, staring at the graceful red head strutting into the doors, receiving many looks. She had that effect on people.

"Charlotte?" Tony asked louder, catching her attention. Her eyes narrowed at our direction and she started walking fairly fast towards us. "This isn't good." He thought out loud. I nodded in agreement, my eyes not leaving her.

"Hi Charlotte, are you coming with us?" Andrea asked cheerfully to our director, looking at the suit cases behind her.

"It seems our problem has gotten bigger and I'll be needed to assist you." Anna and I exchange looks, my expression more horrified than hers. "We need to board the jet now." Without wasting time on x-rays and a couple of guards we boarded onto a G-6 and relaxed into comfortable white leather seats, our bags taken by one of the attendants and moved to their appropriate place underneath us.

"Strap your seatbelt Merris. We're taking off in a minute." Charlotte scolded me. I scowled back. She was only 3 years older than me, not ten. Anna rolled her eyes. At the moment, I really disliked our boss. She knew my situation and when I asked her to take me off the case her words were, and I quote "grow a pair. He's just an ex, get over him." I was so infuriated. I was over Jacob! I just didn't want to risk seeing him.

"Anna! Would you turn off your iPod? Tony, you get off your computer. We need to discuss the case." We stiffened and straightened up as a plasma TV lowered from the ceiling of the plane. An image of a mutilated man appeared on the screen and I cringed, Tony was used to this being in the service for so long that he didn't react and Anna squinted her eyes to blur the image and Andrea squeaked in disgust. I would've laughed but the matter at hand prohibited humor. "This is the latest victim, Robert Wilson. Forty miles away Seattle, found in a secluded field by two hunters. Most would assume this an animal attack but this is the thirty sixth human that has been killed from an assumed "bear." Locals are getting anxious as the bears population decreases and the death toll continues to escalate at higher speeds. As I zoom on his injuries, note that the scene may be bloody but the body parts themselves are in pristine shape. What is eaten is eaten, no scraps. You won't find any spare parts, just what's intact with the body." Another image replaced the old one, this one a crop of the man's throat. I looked away this time, as did Anna and Andrea. It was literally torn out. "All the victims are the same. Throats have been licked clean of blood, as well as any other body part left, and carefully chewed, sometimes hitting the bone. Some are suggesting scavengers but scavengers are messy and, as I explained seconds ago, this man is very clean, just like the other victims. Humans tend to be more organized and precise with their eating habits, animals are not. So what can you hypothesize?"

"Werewolf kill," Tony answered. "He got what he wanted and wants to be as clean as can be so he doesn't have to clean after when he transforms back. If he was a loner, he wouldn't care about what the public thinks of him, he would be staying out of public's eye anyways. Someone with a stable life and lives comfortably in the same area would be more careful with his kill. I'm thinking this guy- or girl- definitely lives within the 100 mile radius of the capitol and has some kind of wounds, whether from fights or a struggling hunter."

Charlotte nodded, without smiling, and glanced at me. "And how about you Merris, any ideas of your own?"

"Werewolves are people with secrets and people with secrets stay away crowds. The only people they confide in are family or a friend, a very solid and dependable person who is closer to the werewolf than their own family. The friend must have a secret, too, with a bad past or else he or she wouldn't risk their way of life on this person."

"Good. Andrea, what do you conclude?"

"We're looking for a person with reclusive habits, a solid and secure and untouchable connection or connections. They'll be avoiding other pack, people, and reserve themselves on avoided land to avoid different people invaded their privacy."

"Honestly sounds like we should be looking within a wolf pack right now. If this person was a loner, the cooperating pack would've caught and killed him or her. So maybe it's within this pack or we need to look farther outer wards." Charlotte raised a thin brow.

"Thank you Anna. That's a good answer. Everyone agree?" We all muttered "yeah." "Okay, we covered that. Tony, question locals and Merris, you search with the pack alongside Andrea. She needs more field experience. Anna, you do scene recreation with me. We'll be landing in three hours. Get your sleep and will review some more at the hotel before heading to La Push."

My heart stopped. We were working with that pack?

_Break_

I realized I missed the snow.

During our short flight, I was trying to prep myself with happy thoughts and succeeded in three positive ones. One, in six years, I can finally have a snow ball fight with Tony. He and I have been itching to blast each other with snow for no reason at all. We're just that playful... or flirty. Two, maybe I could retrieve some lost items I forgot at Mom's since I was in such a hurry to escape my personal hell. And three, I was so absorbed in how I was going to avoid Jacob that I forgot Seth would be there, too! His face brought a smile on my face, oh how I missed that boy.

So during my three hour flight, my head filled with possible memories I could make from a snowball fight with the team and hugging Seth to surprising dancing over my mother's grave if she was even dead. I wouldn't be surprised at that, she drank so much she might as well pass out and never wake up. Though I didn't think her grave would be in that little town, maybe with her relatives back in California.

I also drowned myself with the new Taylor Swift on Anna's iPod. She was getting sleepy and I asked her if I could use it to help me sleep, too, and mumbled sure and handed me her Nano. I replayed my favorites like "Long Live" or "Story of Us," sometimes I would stop the upbeat songs and change to a more thoughtful song like "Enchanted." During this time, I took long looks at everyone.

Anna was out. Her head rested on the window and her hair covered her face but I'm sure she had her mouth wide open, letting out quiet but still noticeable snores. Her jacket covered her body as a blanket she clung to and her legs were spread out over the seat next to her. She'll wake up with the sorest back, I thought. Ahead of her was Tony silently typing away on his Mac, maybe writing in his journal? It was a private project of his that I was extremely curious about but could never ask to read. Across from Tony was Andrea, reading one of her many romance novels. I sat behind her, listening to music, probably blowing out my ear drums, too, doing so. Charlotte was behind me, staring at all of us once in a while and would look back down at her laptop where she too was typing.

After a while, I got bored and shut off the almost dead MP3 and turned my seat around towards Charlotte who noticed me immediately. Tony also looked at us but I didn't want him to watch what was about to go down so from both a glare from Charlotte and I he stopped looking at us and back to his computer.

"I want to do the scene analysis, not re-bonding time with the wolves." I growled out in a whisper. Charlotte took off her glasses and her eyes, an icy green, looked tired and irritated at me.

"Who's the boss here?" She questioned, her lips pressed in a thin line. She wasn't happy with me but I couldn't care less, I was not at all happy with her and wouldn't let her push me around.

"Doesn't matter is in charge, if anything the question is: who will the team side with?" Her nosed flared but she quickly caught her control and a strict expression took over her face once again.

"Are you testing my authority?" She questioned again, her hands in firm fists on her lap. Oh I'd like to see her try it...

"You're testing my patience," I countered, my eyes glaring at her stiffened figure.

"You're testing mine."

"I'm not working with the wolves."

"Yes you are."

"Don't make this difficult Charlotte."

"You don't have to be difficult, either."

"Does that mean I can switch duties with Anna?"

"No." I couldn't be angrier and it showed on my face. A grim smile appeared on her face. "I thought you were stronger. You're going to have to overcome your fear someday, why not now and get it over with?" My hands tightened and I let a feral snarl, making Tony jump in his seat and looked back at us with fearful eyes.

"Are you alright?" He asked one of us, or both.

"Stay out of this Tony." I warned lowly as Charlotte gave him a blood-curdling glare. He got the hint and left us alone, not without wandering eyes though.

"I don't want to revisit that chapter of my life. It's over and done with, a chapter I painted over a long time ago. There's nothing left to open." Charlotte sighed and started typing again. I thought she was given up for a minute but then her mouth opened again.

"They know you. They trust you. It makes this investigation a hell lot easier with an ambassador." I rolled my eyes.

"They hate me."

"Yet they spent three years continuously looking for you. Going as far as Maryland and stalking the Swiss' for a while before retreating back to Washington," I frowned, that was the year I graduated high school and ran out of there faster than any of those wolves could go. They were so close. "Mr. Black and Mr. Call would've stayed in Maryland if it wasn't for me intervening." I looked up at her, confused. How could she be even connected to that?

"I was watching you, too, Marisol. A while after you moved with Taylor and her family." I gaped at her. What the hell? "When you left, it took me a while to uncover your tracks. You clean up very nicely Marisol, never one for a mess. After noticing suspicious plane tickets to Seattle purchased by Mr. Swiss, one of your close family friends, I did my math. He bought three, one him and one for each of his daughters. He had an alibi, a meeting with Mr. Gerald over advertising and as did Taylor as did Kaitlin, claiming she was visiting a boyfriend. It took me a while to think of possible answers, and then I traced her tracks and found out in fact she did visit her boyfriend but in Arizona where she bought a different ticket at a different airport a week later she supposedly left with her sister and father." I stared wide eyed at Charlotte, anger now drained and replaced with fear. I don't know why but it was there. "It was a brilliant plan. Three tickets used from and back but how could you replace her so well? I compared photos. You two share an uncanny resemblance. No wonder you passed her so well." My throat tightened. After years of hiding, she uncovered what I thought was a complicated but secure plan. "You are very smart and very thorough. That's one reason I first considered you for this position on my team and that escape was an impressive display of it. And a year later, you carried your life on so smoothly that it shocked even me. You know, that was risky, living a lie and keeping up with it but you managed anyways. During college I kept close tabs on you, in case you had to run again. When you didn't, I took my opportunity to snag you before anyone else could." Charlotte smiled but I didn't feel warm at all, in fact my blood felt colder.

"How the hell did you even notice me? Why was I so special back then? I was only sixteen!"

"You were in close contact with wolves and vampires. I was doing some research on recent murders along the Seattle coast when I witnessed their determined attempts at finding you. You must have been pretty damn important for them to cross that many state lines to find you. That's when I started searching, too." I began breathing deeply, trying to keep calm.

"This isn't going to end well." I stated, keeping my voice at a whisper. "Or start well, either. After a six year absence, it'll be a huge shock for them. They know it's me, not Mary Bowen. How will the team react to this? They don't know anything from my past except I had an alcohol mother!"

"You'll be surprised, dear. They, too, have their secrets. They won't think any less of you. Actually I suppose they'll admire you more for your sacrifices. Don't fret Marisol." My stomach twisted at the scenarios developing in my head. "The wolves will welcome you, if not immediately then in time."

"Yes, in time! That's not the same the same thing as soon! The only one who will at least smile at me is Seth! Everyone else, with exception of Leah who is no longer in Washington, will rather push me off a cliff than pull me into a hug." Charlotte sighed again then shook her head, the corners of her lips tugging upwards. Mine fell down dramatically.

"Jacob was very upset at your disappearance. He was very resilient in finding you, too. He was very fond of you." Charlotte suggested.

"He was until Bella showed her face." Even after that long since I saw her or seen her, the bitterness was still present and vivid as ever for her.

"I'm assuming she's an ex."

"I doubt she'll settle for him when she has Edward but maybe he got tired of her ass and left again, then she went back into the ever so inviting arms of Jacob yet again, too." I couldn't believe how much hostility I had in my voice. I guess I still wasn't over it. Charlotte laughed and muttered something about how fluent I was in sarcasm.

"From what I've been seeing, he's past Bella now. According to his recent phone calls, he's been communicating with a girl named Olivia Kurt quite often." That didn't mean much to me so I just shrugged. "I'm not asking you to kiss him, sweet heart, just get information from what he and pack knows. You don't have to act friendly but I would suggest to so we can keep a warm relationship with them until the investigation is done." I glared at her. What she meant is: be a good girl and smile at them, pretend you're not hurt, and don't compromise this investigation because if something happens I'm blaming you.

"Thanks Charlotte," I sarcastically replied, adding a sarcastic smile, too.

"Can't you do this, please? Just for me? I did save you from the big bad wolves a few years ago." I gaped at her. Did she just use sarcasm, too?

"And you're throwing me at them in a few hours, too!" She laughed and extended her pale arms to lay a hand on my shoulder. I was too shocked to shake it off.

"You'll survive sweetheart."

"What? No way am I going to survive. Have you seen me? I'm five foot three and my only weapon is my mouth and my gun, neither is going to throw off a giant wolf or a seven foot tall man."

"You can run to Tony."

"They can catch up to me in less than a second and tear me apart! Are you fucking kidding me?" I yelled, waking up Anna and catching the attention of Tony again as well as Andrea.

"What's this I hear? Mary is scared of a pack of werewolves? Now that's odd." Tony joked but my glared shut him up. Andrea offered me a small, somewhat supportive smile. Anna rolled her eyes and fell back into her seat.

"Don't worry Mary, we have your back." She comforted me. I tried to smile back at her but my sour mood wouldn't let that happen. Poor Andrea must have felt like I don't believe her because of the poor attempt.

"Use what was given to you." I growled at Charlotte's comment and then she left, tired of my persistence..

"We're landing in half an hour. Get whatever rest you need and we'll head to Holiday Inn after you retrieve your bags. Just so you know, it'll be eight am when we land. We're expected in La Push at ten." Charlotte announced before opening the door to the pilots room.

The rest of the flight I was fuming but also trying to sort out how to confront the wolves with no luck. I was no longer concerned about crying, no, I was at the point I was going to scream and beat the shit out of any wolf that wanted to take a bite out of me.

I'm not the little, loyal Merris they picked on six years ago. I'm going to set that straight.

_Break _

I couldn't stop shaking driving down a once forgotten road. Deep breaths, I reminded myself. I shouldn't have been nervous, Alice was already expecting me surely and she would defiantly welcome me with open arms. But what had me shaking was the thought of Bella, oh boy, I wonder what she'll do. I already prepared myself. I'm a grown woman, not a jealous little girl Jacob described me as six years ago. I would prove them both wrong.

The white mansion came sooner than I expected and my heart pounded faster and my stomach twisted more. I was not ready for this. I thought I was going to have a heart attack! I turned my car around to pull up the drive way and my throat tightened. How could I even open the door? My hands were clammy and tingling, I couldn't get them to move. Before I forced them off the steering wheel the door had already opened. I looked up to see a towering body blocking my way.

"Emmett?" I stuttered out, my eyes widening. He looked just as dazzling as I thought he did six years ago. Nothing about him changed like I thought it would feel like, instead it seemed as if we were meeting for the first time, like he was a stranger to me.

He grinned down at me. "Long time no see. Rose has been anxious to see you. She's inside with Carlisle ready for your questions, just prepare yourself for theirs." I let out a nervous laugh and pulled out a shaking leg onto the ground, slowly pulling my other one out, too. Emmett stepped aside so I could pull my entire body out. After closing the door for me he helped me straighten up and gain some balance after almost slipping on some ice hidden under wet snow. "Nervous?" He asked.

"That's an understatement," I muttered, knowing he would hear me anyways.

"Are you able to climb up the steps or do I have to carry you?" He teased, or I hoped he was. Either way I gave him a hard glare, I was not in the mood to get comfortable with anyone yet until I gained some kind of stability. He shrugged and walked behind me, in case I did slip and fall so he could catch me. I rolled my eyes but smiled none the less at his sweetness. I've done worse in heels. When we stepped onto the porch he served around me to open the door. "Welcome." He said. I nodded back at him before adjusting my eyes to the blinding light inside.

"Marisol!" Rose shouted, engulfing me in a hug. I jumped, squeaked, and glared at Emmett for laughing at me. Rose finally let me go and held me at arm's length. "Oh my, you look beautiful. You've grown so much." She commented, smiling widely at me. I returned a more awkward one. It's been a long time since I was given that kind of affection, especially from a vampire. "Your boots are amazing, where'd you get them?"

"Um, I don't know. They were a present..." I bit my lip and tried to word out a sentence that told her I needed to get to business without sounding rude and harsh. After a minute I thought I found the right wording, "so, how about we get these questions out of the way?" Rose nodded her head and led me to the living room. It looked very modern, with a long glass table in between a large, blank screened TV and an even longer white leather couch Carlisle sat on. Rosalie sat next to him and Emmett sat next to her. I chose a spot on a love seat in the opposite corner of the room.

"Let's start off with how much you know about the recent killings?" I started, pulling my hands into my lap. While listening to their answers I couldn't help but think about where the others had gone off to. Where was Alice? Surely she would have wanted to welcome me first. Edward might have warned Bella or kept me a secret and drove her off somewhere until I was gone so she wouldn't have a fit. Jasper might have gone hunting. He wasn't very good with humans and wanted me safe. And where's Esme? She never really left the house because she never had things to do or a life like her kid's...

"...we tried tracking the wolf but we can't cross the line, he was the pack's responsibility now." I snapped out of my train of thoughts and focused on Carlisle's story but unfortunately he already ended. That was embarrassing on my part and I blushed deeply.

"Sorry I dozed off. This case is kind of overwhelming for me being so close to home. Could you repeat that again?" Carlisle nodded and offered me a smile, he wasn't offended at all and I was thankful for that.

"Jasper was hunting when he smelled a werewolf close by. He confronted the creature and found it nibbling on a corpse's leg. He chased it to the border were we lost it. He was a stranger to us and we know this because he carried a new smell." I thanked Carlisle for the short summary.

"When will Jasper be here? I would like him to describe the man so I can warn my teammates who to look for at least." Carlisle looked at his watch.

"In an hour with Alice, speaking of whom is very excited at you're return." I grim smile smacked itself on my face. "She insisted we throw you a party but I don't think that would be appropriate since you're here on business of course. By the way, how did you get this job working with dangerous creatures like ourselves?"

"Wrong place, wrong time" was my vague lie. I couldn't tell them the truth and I think Carlisle detected that so he let it rest, thank god.

"So how is your life? How have you been? Do you have any new boyfriends?" Rosalie started bombarding me with questions, all with I were hesitant to answer.

"I've been very busy, I don't get much sleep but I do get to travel a lot. It's kind of nice seeing new places and people but I do like my cabin, it's cute and homey and very comforting. I feel a lot of peace there. You would like it. It provides a lot of privacy. No new boyfriends, work takes up a lot of my time and relationships take a lot of effort and I'm still kind of drained. How about you? What have you been up to in the last few years?" I kept my answers simple and always reverted back to their life. They shouldn't hear how grim and lonely mine was.

Rose frowned. "The house is fuller I guess. Edward is much happier with Bella than he was when we first got here. They got married a year after you left here and later made her one of us." Both Rose and I developed dark looks. Carlisle gave me a sympathetic one. "Nothing else has changed. You experienced more changed than we did, that's for sure." I shrugged. "How's the baby?" I cringed. Of course she would ask that. I bit my lip.

"Lost it eight week after I found out I was pregnant." Rose covered her mouth with her hands and jumped to my side, hugging me instantly. It made me want to cry, the support and overwhelming emotions but I shook the tears off. I wasn't going to cry, not anymore.

"I'm so sorry Marisol. Please forgive me-"I cut her off.

"It's okay. Shit happens. I'm okay now." Rose looked up at my face and frowned but left it alone. Emmett wanted to hug me, too, I could tell but I shook my head when he attempted to get up and maneuver around the table. Carlisle just stared at me with sad eyes. I'm glad Esme wasn't there.

"So that concludes my interview. It was so nice to see you all again, maybe one of these days we can meet up and just chat? I really would like to say Esme again but unfortunately I have a tight schedule for the next two days, to get a jump on things and catch up. Tell everyone I said hi! Here is my card if you ever need to call me, mainly about the case but text me now and then and I'll try to sneak some responses without my boss noticing." I winked and handed them a card from my back jean pocket and handed it to Rose. She smiled and nodded, assuring me she would.

"How long will you be here?" She asked as I stood up, my legs now sturdy and stable. Emmett stood up with me, reading to guide me to my car but so did Carlisle and when he lead me to the door I was certain he replaced Emmett's preferred job.

"For two weeks according to Charlotte. I'll be staying at the Holiday Inn 30 miles away. If you need me, I'm only 15 minutes away, okay?"

Rose waved good bye to me as I stepped outside. I held my jacket tighter as the wind grew fiercer. Carlisle directed me to my car and offered another smile.

"Thank you for coming here, Rose was ecstatic when you called. You don't know how much she adores you. Please, come back soon. Really soon, how about a movie night? You and Alice loved those a lot, we can have another one." I bit my lip and kept eye contact with him, despite how hard it was not to cry when I saw how much longing his golden orbs held. They displayed how much he truly missed my company and it made me want to hug him but I couldn't, no. I have to sever any emotional attachment that could possibly come back.

"Thanks for your cooperation, you really helped S.I.S out. Have Jasper to call me when he gets back so I can get those details for the team. I'll try to set something up between us and your family by next week." I said, extending my hand for a handshake. Thank god I wore gloves or else they would have been freezing, especially with Carlisle's cold grasp.

Carlisle then surprised me by pushing me aside and away from the car that had pulled up. I let out another squeak and took another deep breathe when I saw it was a familiar silver Volvo, Edward's Volvo. Carlisle held onto my firmly when the car doors opened from both sides and the passenger and driver stepped out. As I guessed it was Edward and Bella.

Bella was the first to stare, her eyes wide and confused at both Carlisle and I. "Who is she?" She asked me, tilting her head at me. I should've laughed, how could she not remember me? I mean, I haven't changed that much! Sure, I died my hair a lighter color from black to maybe a lighter shade of mahogany. I shot Edward a look, he didn't warn her about my arrival and I knew it was going to be far more awkward than ever. Before Carlisle or Edward could answer I extended my hand.

"I'm Agent Bowen. I work for S.I.S., short for Supernatural Investigative Services. We work with murders associated with immortals and what we try to hide from the public's eyes. Have you noticed the chain of mutilations lately?" Bella nodded, shaking my hand and hugged herself tighter as the bone chilling wind increased.

"Well it was pleasant to meet you and hopefully you and I can meet up and answer some routine questions so my team and I can put an end to these gruesome crimes but for now I have to leave. We're on a tight schedule." I said, tapping my watch. I shook Carlisle's hand once more and gave Edward a smile, not a very friendly one but Bella wouldn't notice. She smiled back at me and said goodbye as I tried to stifle laughter while I started my car and backed out into the street.

On my way to the reservation I couldn't help but laugh. Who would've expected that from me? Actually being civil with Bella Swan, the woman who ruined my love life? I could not get that oblivious face from my mind. Wait until she learns who I really am, if only I could see it when it happened. Maybe I would ask Rosalie to describe the scene for me. Hopefully Edward or nobody else spoils it too soon. My good mood faded when my car pass the reservation sign. I gulped and parked my cars away from the other agent's cars and stayed in my car for quite a while, examining myself in a mirror. My hair was wet and damp from the falling snow but kind of attractive, too. It didn't bother me. My jacket was zipped and kept my slim body warm with its soft, velvet interior specifically designed to keep warmth in. The outside is waterproof of course in a stylish yellow tarp, it was expensive but worth it. My jeans were soaked at the knees while my boots weren't affected at all except for some mud stains on the outside but since the color was navy blue it didn't show. My hands were warm in thin leather gloves. I felt and looked cozy.

Now all I needed was confidence and some extra courage to push me through the day. I took another deep breath and stepped outside, closing the door immediately after. I trudged to the beach where I saw Andrea in her neon green vest pacing.

"Andrea! Where is everyone else?" I called, scaring her. She jumped up and in doing do, fell over a log. I couldn't help but laugh. What a good starting of the day. She picked herself up easily and dusted off her back. She looked up at me and raised her hand to wave back at me. From where I had stood, I could tell she had her hair in a long pony tail and under a warm looking black hat. Her hands weren't visible under long sleeves. Her face had the cutest red blush from the whipping, chilling wind.

"They're coming! They're in the woods but I waited for you." She shouted back. I reached her and looked at the woods behind us. In any moments one, then two, then three, four, five, six, and so one would pop out and I would have to face what I was dreading for so long. My heart can't take this.

_Break _

"I think I'm about to piss my pants," I thought out loud. I didn't mean to speak so loud but unfortunately my voice carried out into the woods. I gaped in surprise and looked down at Andrea who was blushing more than I was. "Oops," I murmured. My eyes caught sight of something moving around the trees but they were so wide that I didn't get a full image. Andrea's face lifted up from the snow and brightened when someone finally cut our awkward silence.

The kid that stumbled out of the woods and off the steep incline to the beach was much younger than I was prepared for. He was no taller than six feet. Very short compared to the seven feet giants I remember but none the less still had the required wide, muscular build that's developed specifically for werewolves. I could still see it under the lanky, black jacket he was wearing. His eyes me ours and he gave a smile while walking towards us in long strides and in a matter of seconds was within reach.

"Hi, I'm Chris. I'm guessing you're her partner?" He asked, shaking my hand. Not surprisingly, it was hot enough to feel like it would burn mine if he held onto it any long.

"I'm Agent Bowen. Do you know how far the rest of the pack is behind?" I asked, also trying to keep a stern disposition so I wouldn't sound too curious or anxious compared to how much I really was.

"Not even a minute behind but their taking a little slower than usual. You should know they aren't exactly happy to see you." I shrugged my shoulder. "They wanted to keep this within themselves, you know."

"Eh, couldn't control the pest themselves? If they could, we wouldn't have been called out." Chris didn't say anything but a growl behind him alerted me that someone didn't like my comment. The person that came to mind was Paul and I couldn't help but look. My assumption was right. Leaping out of the woods was a very familiar werewolf wearing only a white tee shirt and actually very flattering darn washed jeans. He was very quick to confront us.

"Who are you?" He asked us, first to Andrea and then me. His eyes widened at my face and I felt it getting hotter. Did he recognize me? He couldn't speak for a moment, completely ignoring Andrea who was introducing herself.

"...this is my partner Mary Bowen." Paul kept staring at me, his confused face transitioning into disbelief.

"You look so much like her," he accidently thought out loud. "I'm Paul," he greeted, extending his hand. "Do you happen to be related to a Marisol?" I shook my head furiously. I didn't realize how much it would hurt to hear my name again from one of their mouths. It's as if my old name was some kind of acid, I didn't want anything a part of it. "Are you sure?" His face looked devastated. I had to keep my face still from contorting to my true emotion: anger. How dare he feel sympathetic now, after all he did to me! I couldn't keep a poker face and next thing I knew he was backing away from me. My glare was beyond vicious.

Soon a bunch of other wolves, 3 whom I recognized instantly, emerged from the woods, too. They were also eager to greet us, not as cold as Paul but not in the least friendly.

"Hi, I'm Embry Call. This is my friend Quil Ateara. Usually our pack leader, Jacob, would lead but he's out for an hour or two so we're taking his place until he gets back." I jaw tightened at his name, and his position, but honestly the news didn't shock me. He was going to take leadership one way or another. He mentioned it to me when we were together, when we were 2 months into the relationship.

"I'm getting sick of Sam. I'm tired of him taking control of my life and my plans. I want to do what I want to do, not what he commands me to do!"

"Then why don't you tell him so? Take control of your life, Jacob. You're stronger than everyone else, you know."

"I can't, he has his alpha voice, Marisol."

"Sam is the leader because no one has the balls to challenge him, he has all the power. You want control? You take control from Sam."

"You're right, Marisol. But how do I do that?"

"Don't ask me, I'm not a werewolf! Everybody likes you though, right? Gain their support, Embry and Quil will definitely have your back. Paul, he'll go with it but just because Sam gives him too much crap. Leah won't give you any problems because Sam is the ex, she'll also bring Seth with her. Jared seems neutral but he'll stick with his friends like Embry so I wouldn't worry about him. I'm warning you Seth will be the weakest point and Sam will do anything to get him. You and Leah will need to make sure he's in your sight at all times."

"I'm not sure I can handle all that. How about you watch Seth while I gather the other guys? Leah can handle herself but maybe she should stick with you, too. You know Sam doesn't like you, you're the only person he knows that isn't a werewolf and can still chew him up."

"Okay, I'll take the Clearwaters' and you'll deal with the Quil, Embry, Paul and whoever else."

"Thanks Marisol. Did I mention how much I love you?"

I shook the memory from my head before I got too deeper. I tried to erase every ounce of affection I remembered him giving me in the six years after I left him and now it seemed they were coming back so vividly to lighten my heart. I would not allow it. I needed to hate the bastard so I wouldn't fall into that devastating, happiness sucking trap called love again.

"You look a lot like our old friend Marisol," Quil mentioned, tilting his head at me. Paul nodded in agreement. I couldn't be any angrier. How dare they say my name twice! Why couldn't they forget me like I did myself! I'm Mary, not Marisol who by the way was not their friend! My glare hardened and Quil, too, stepped back in surprise. Paul and he exchanged wide eyed looks.

"I don't know why we're here chit-chatting about how I look a lot like this woman named Marisol but I certainly don't like wasting time. Make your pack hurry up so we can start surveying thank you very much!" I yelled. I didn't mean to scare everybody but poor Andrea looked like she was having a heart attack. Maybe I should have stepped away from her. Paul, Embry and Quil stepped back further and nodded as if I was threatening them with mustard gas. I waited a full minute for them to move but they didn't do anything so I raised my voice louder. "Let's go!" Two of them jumped and made his way fairly fast to the woods, I followed without a grin even though I should've. Andrea briskly walked behind me not beside me. I found it strange and looked back a few times to give her strange looks. She didn't acknowledge any of them.

"Um," Paul tried to start. "So I didn't get your name." His eyes weren't at all as hostile as mine. I raised my head and scrutinized him and his small smile faltered.

"Mary Bowen is my name but only call me Agent Bowen. I'm not here to have friendly conversations, just to eliminate a threat and head back home." Paul sighed and looked ahead but I noticed a defeated look on his face. He looked so pathetic, sad, and soft? I ignored it. I would not at all be sympathetic if I wanted to be strong and firm. I would not be pushed down and vulnerable again.

"What does S.I.S do other than kill vampires and werewolves?" Paul changed his tone to be a sourer one.

"We only destroy the ones that are threatening their existence and the public. Packs like yours are allowed peace because you provide secret protection and do respect privacy. Don't mess us up to be medaling, senseless killers Paul. We are in the same interest of your pack and the Cullen's." I lay out.

"I've noticed you and Ms. Jackson are humans. How can you stand up against Vampires or werewolves who are stronger than you?" He instigated. I took a deep breathe to keep my already heated anger to stay where it was and not get any higher where I would have lost complete control of it.

"Mary and I don't do much fighting. I do most of the paper work though, observing and drafting is my specialty. That's why I do the surveying and crime scene examination." Andrea finished and looked at me, signaling for me to tell my part if I wanted to.

"I'm the behavioral analysis. I'm the person who predicts the killer's next move." I bluntly said. I did love my job, even if it had tons of pressure. It was exciting to learn so much about one person from a few signs. It's truly extraordinary!

"That's cool." He replies, he didn't sound interested though.

"Are we walking in circles or can we get to the main areas where an attack could happen that can be intercepted?" I didn't mean to let it out so coldly but it did and Paul cringed. I expected himto turn around and bitch me out.

"Here's one area," Quil pointed out, his index finger pointed at a triangle of three tall oak trees. "It's on a steep slope, we could go either ways. Down or up, if we came from the north we would gain speed and if we came from south the wolf would lose it. Either way we have the upper hand." I nodded and took note of the coordinates from a GPS in my coat pocket. We took a ninety degree turn towards the cliffs coming to view.

"This area is a bit more risky," Embry took over. "One scenario we could force the things over the cliff and into the water and risk him or her swimming away or one of us getting hurt jumping off to continue the chase after it. Or risk getting thrown off by it. This would not be our instinctive choice to ambush it." I nodded, again concerned more about getting the coordinates saved. "Hi Jacob, you're back early!" I literally jumped out of my skin and swore I had a mini heart attack. I swerved a hundred and eighty degrees to see the forest which Embry and the pack was staring at and just as Embry announced, another tall figurine stepped out onto the rock.

Jacob didn't change figure wise, he was still very tall and wide and intimidating. His hair was cut short but peered over his forehead like Chris's style. I held my breath when I examined his face. It was stern but handsome. He didn't notice me until Paul mentioned my illegal name and I looked away in the opposite direction before our eyes could connect.

"Ms. Bowen?" He called out. His voice sounded huskier then I recalled and I resented it when he first spoke because it made my spine tingle. I fixed my side banes to fall over one eye and hoped to god that he couldn't tell it was me with that one uncovered eye.

"Yes?" I replied, keeping my face downwards on the GPS in my hand. My hair served as a long, thick curtain so I couldn't see him coming towards me.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you but I'm going to have to cut this exploring session short." He said, his voice deep and cold just like the wind blowing the hair out of my face. If this was someone else I would've been screaming hell at them. What the hell do you think you're doing? We have a job to do and no matter how wounded your dumb pride is I plan to finish that job. Now get out of my way if you don't want to help, don't ever dare pull something like that on me again or else. But instead I was silently screaming in joy. I wouldn't have to suffer Jacob for a day. Oh thank the lord!

Andrea must have expected my initial first response, as I pull on every investigation I do, and looked extremely surprised when I agreed with Jacob.

"Excuse me but we are on a strict schedule and should get this done before tomorrow, please." Andrea pleaded, never one to shout or argue. It was this moment that I was close to smacking her so she could keep her mouth shut.

"I have to discuss an important matter with my pack over you two and your friends. Follow us to the beach where you can leave." I scoffed. Jacob was being way too rude to Andrea. Now my protective instincts kicked in. My dignity gone and anger flaring, I lifted my head and looked up at the asshole.

"You and your boys can talk but Andrea and I will continue surveying. I don't care if you have a problem with us cause guess what, the feelings mutual. Leave us alone and let us do the job we came to do. We have a problem to solve cause you failed to do it before so don't dare blame us, got it?" I snarled, my hand clamping into fist. Jacob was surprised and I'm so glad I was fuming because the anger blocked every other emotion I should've been feeling. He kept staring at me and I refused to squirm but was close to so I stepped out of his gaze and dragged Andrea into the woods where I regained some relief.


	3. Chapter 3

"I was scared you lost your voice before you yelled at him," Andrea commented, trying to lighten the air but no joke to lift the bitter coldness surrounding us. I breathed out and watched my own dissipate into the mountain's atmosphere. I lead her behind a tree with a wide trunk when I spotted something a few yards climbing up the slope. I couldn't tell what, it moved too quickly but I could tell it was big and I assumed it was a werewolf or even worse, the pack's leader. I couldn't see him again, not until I was sure my walls were structured right and held strong.

"Follow me," I instructed in a whisper, grabbing her wrist and guided her down the slope far from the figure. We were protected by the tall ferns and the many trees that covered our path but I knew our scent would give us away quickly so we had to rush down. "Climb up again," I demanded. Andrea gave me a confused look but the snapping of stuff sticks above us gave her motivation to climb. We didn't get far when she let out a blood curdling scream. I tried to see what cause it but she already let go of a branch and fell, taking me with her. It was a second later when my back was rammed against a log and I myself let out an even louder scream, especially with Andrea elbowing me in the stomach. She rolled over and tried to pick me up but I couldn't even bend my back with succumbing to the wave of stabbing-like sensations.

"Are you alright?" She cried out, her hands uselessly scanning over my probably bruised body. I would've used my famous sarcasm and replied Yeah, the ear splitting scream was just my mocking of you or Yes because the log felt like a pillow. Come and try it! When I tried to speak out my voice came out as a squeak, hiding the intense pain I was in.

"Hell no," I groaned. I slowly and carefully adjusted my body so I wouldn't have to use so much effort from my back area to get up but without success. I did get up but not without an unfair amount of pain. "What the hell scared you?" I asked, well more like demanded if you count the intensity of my voice. Andrea hid her face from my view and hesitated. "What!"

She muttered something I couldn't hear and demanded it again. "...A squirrel..." I gaped at her and couldn't choose between laughing and strangling her.

"Are you serious?" I yelled. "My back is killing me because you were afraid of a damn squirrel! What the hell!" That's when I lunged at the blonde. She squeaked but was too slow to get away from my rage. My hand grasped the bottom hems of her shirt and I started to drag her closer to me so I could throttle her but before I could I was pulled back by two strong arms. I squirmed and shouted as Andrea hid behind another towering body. My eyes were too filled with murder to focus on whom.

"Calm down!" My guy demanded, holding me closer so I couldn't use my arms since they were in his grasp. "Marisol!" I froze and was ready to attack this person now. I looked up, my eyes fully raging, and looked up at the familiar and just as furious face of Jacob Black.

"I'm not Marisol and let me go you asshole!" I began to kick my feet and tried to lift them in between his legs, aiming at his delicate man parts but without success. "Damn it! Let me go!"

"No," he responded, tightening his grip. I cringed in pain as the back I had forgotten about in blind rage reminded me of how sensitive it was at the moment. His grip loosened immediately when I cried out in pain.

"Marisol?" He asked again.

"Mary. Damn it, its Mary! I don't know this Marisol you're talking about but stop calling me that. No don't even call me Mary, its Agent Bowen. Now at the demand of a federal Agent let me go or else I'll charge you with assault!" Jacob let me go and grabbed the ground as if it were my lifeline. I glared at Andrea who was still hiding behind the guy I identified as Embry. I waited a second and charged in a crawl at the cowardly girl until I was tackled by I'm guessing Jacob.

"Stop it Merris-Mary!" I wouldn't have but his weight on my back caused an unimaginable wave of pain that I couldn't hide.

"Get off of me! Off! It hurts!" Jacob got off and laid a hand over my hand to sooth it I guess his intentions were but the results were the exact opposite and another wave came over me. I vocalized the excruciating pain with a pathetic whimper. His hand came off.

"Someone..." I whimpered. I was too afraid to get up myself. "...help... hospital... or just a warm bed...something soft."

"Are you serious Merris? You could have fractured your back and you're asking for something soft? Wait! That makes sense. Okay, my bad." I swore I heard May's voice. It came as a surprise to me because I haven't seen or even heard her in four years. "Here comes Paul."

I looked up from the ground and noticed a new pair of boots in view coming towards me. I was suddenly lifted and a groan escaped my mouth. I must admit the warmth from whoever was carrying me was very comforting. I closed my eyes to see if it was possible to sleep for a little bit.

"We'll be inside soon." Paul murmured beside me. Jacob huffed and shifted me higher. I let out another whimper of pain. "Sorry," he apologized.

"Screw you." I replied. A sudden knot in my stomach made me curl up and naturally I grabbed at the spot.

"This is why we didn't want you to wander off, you'd get hurt! You need supervision!" Jacob scowled at me and I would've snapped back but Paul beat me to it.

"Jake! She doesn't need to be yelled at."

"I do this all the time, with or without supervision. If one of you wasn't following us I wouldn't be in this position and I don't like it," I managed saying.

"Nice one Jake, you scared the girl. It's your fault," Paul commented.

"I had to!" Jacob defended himself.

"You had to? She isn't Marisol."

"Stop saying that name!" I yelled. I opened an eye so I could see and hit Paul. I couldn't reach him and he laughed at my feeble attempt.

"You're my imprint. Of course you're Marisol." Paul gaped and wrinkled my nose in disgust.

"No, it does not. I can explain your sudden attraction to me fairly easily. One, I'm hot. Wait, did you say you imprinted on me?" I was shocked, not because I knew he would recognize me but at the short amount of time I had to make up an excuse. "Maybe you're an emotionally unstable man who has a strange obsession with certain traits. I don't know what trait exactly. How about dark hair? Or maybe brown eyes? Or pale skin?" Paul let out a whopping laugh while I was too busy conjuring legit explanations, it was tough. Jacob rolled his eyes.

"There was a case of Tyler Harrison. He was a vampire and had a peculiar obsession with similar girls. All had the same M.O. Blond hair, blue eyes, tan skin, fifteen to twenty five and an abnormal height of 5'10 and above. This restricted him to stay within the New York City area where aspiring models would look for gigs and rent horrible apartments to stay at for the while. He killed 12 women within a 2 month span until he was burned." I lied smoothly. I should be a story teller. "Maybe you're like Tyler and have a strange interest in only dark haired, dark eyed girls?" Paul let out another booming laugh.

"You never lost your humor I see," Jacob muttered bitterly. Paul rubbed his shoulder supportively.

"I can't wait to see her kick your ass, too." Paul said. Jacob sneered at him.

"I don't think Marisol would be happy you're carrying another girl."

"Drop the act Marisol!" He snapped. At that moment I could feel every ounce of domination radiating off of him but his spell didn't last long, not even a second.

"I told you how many times before? I think two or three. I'm not Marisol! I may look like her, can't you tell by my voice I'm not her?" I shouted. I knew my voice was the same as six years ago but I had to truly take my role as someone else and this would be their reaction.

"You sound just like her," Jacob hissed.

"This is just great," my sarcasm started. "Not only do I look like this woman but sound like her, too! You're taking this way out of hand." I crossed my arms and pouted, avoided both Paul's and Jacob's eyes. "Where is she? Where's Marisol? Do you have a number or something? I have to call her and make her make you leave me the hell alone." Jacob's sour face contorted in pain and Paul looked down to the ground ashamed.

"We don't know," he whispered.

"She'll come back sometime. How long has she been gone?" Jacob's jaw tightened.

"A long time," was his blunt reply. I narrowed my eyes at him and then to Paul.

"How long has she been gone?" I repeated to Paul.

"A few years." He replied.

"She's your imprint you said?" I asked Jacob. He didn't even bother replying this time and settled with a short nod.

"Well maybe what you're feeling is separation anxiety and since I look so much like her you have a sick need to fill that empty space that you're willing to replace her with a look-a-like. If I was Marisol I'd be so fucking pissed to hear that."

"She left me!" He shouted, tightening his grip on my leg.

"Anger problems much?" I teased. "Look buddy, I know breaks up suck. I had a few boyfriends who left me empty handed but guess what, I got over it. I moved on. Why bother holding onto to someone who doesn't want you?" I wish he had taken the hint and lost any motivation to chase after me.

"It was my fault," he admitted. My face held absolute victory. Finally! He admits he was the one who drove me away. "I didn't know what I wanted and left her in the cold." I grinned.

"Sucks for you," I shouldn't have tested him but I risked it anyway. So far I hadn't been dropped and pinched, slapped or thrown.

"She's dead now," he concluded. My victorious face fell. I should've been glad I was considered dead but for some reason, it hurt. I couldn't reason why it would and here I was the psychiatrist!

Paul looked up and his eyes held a new spark. Jacob looked as grim as the reaper.

"And only a moment ago you were talking about how I was Marisol. Silly, I can't be here if I'm dead. There you go: I'm not Marisol. I'm Mary Bowen. Daughter of-" I paused. Who should my parent's be? I never talked about them, seeing they were dead, well at least one of them was. I didn't know what happened to mom after I left. She was still considered dead to me though. Paul raised a brow in suspicion. "I don't trust you with that information," I also added my most immature of behaviors: I stuck my tongue out at him.

Paul rolled his eyes and ruffled my hair.

"Hey! Watch the hair!" I hissed, fixing my hair afterwards. Paul's smile turned grim as Jacob.

"...so much like her..." I heard him whisper. Jacob nodded in agreement and held onto my tighter.

"Don't get too touchy," I warned. My immature act now replaced with a professional one now that we were in the public with witnesses. I looked around the beach for Andrea or anyone else for the matter but it was empty and disappointment filled my stomach. My knot was gone at least. "Do me a favor and leave me the hell alone when you set me down in front of the fire you promised me. No guest, no music, and no food. My stomach isn't in the best of conditions right now and I need quiet." Jacob shrugged

The cold wasn't making me delusional, neither was the pain that I had improved on ignoring. I swore the path we were walking on around the reservation was the same path I walked years ago to my mother's house. I should've spoken up when the familiar landmarks I used to memorize my way home kept appearing.

"Why did we have to take the long way instead of cutting through the woods? We're walking in circles." I tried to distract my growing anxiousness with a conversation with Paul.

Paul shrugged. "It would've been too dense and you would have gotten probably more bruises than you already do. It's not the safest path to use, not for mortals. We didn't want to risk you getting hurt, if one of us slipped on ice or tripped over a hidden root." I didn't even acknowledge his consideration for me. I didn't want my feelings for him to change. I wanted to keep my deep loathing for him and everyone else in the pack, especially Jacob and excluding Seth. I bit my lip as we were climbing a dreadfully similar hill I always climbed on my way home.

It was only a matter of seconds before my nightmare materialized. I gasped in surprise and covered my mouth when I should've covered my eyes that were threatening to spill tears. My heart began to pound loudly and my bottom lip wobbled. I bit it to make it stop but it didn't. Only a few yards from us stood an impressive, eccentric all wood three story mansion. I could describe it in detail or summarize it as an oversized cabin. In detail I would say it has a simple shape of a rectangle with a wrap-around porch around it only for the main level. Since it was built on a hill, if you were to look at the back yard the porch would be considered on the second story, above the exposed basement or garage, my mother had specifically designed the lower level to be both. The only way to enter the exposed part of the basement is through one of the three garage doors or the side door that was never noticed behind a shed. Back to the front, the mansion wasn't too complicated. The front is very balanced, massive doubled brown doors in between two long, wide windows. The second floor had the same input, three long windows all aligned with the bottom exterior. The third floor is odd, it only had one long window but then again the attic was one big room, not two or three. Why give it an extra window?

I couldn't breathe and I thought I would start hyperventilating. I would be back inside the very house I was trapped in six years ago. Memories began to penetrate my mind, one of mom screaming at me and another of me peering out my window behind the curtains from the second story into the blooding chilling darkened forest, waiting for eyes to reflect back at me. I imagined my old self moving aside the curtains in one of the bedrooms on the second the floor looking down at Jacob, Paul, and I. Her eyes- my eyes, all so familiar- were as wide as her mouths and she flared her arms, screaming at me to run. She was scared. I was scared. I couldn't move and soon she disappeared from sight when Jacob reached the porch and climb up in one swift stride.

"Are you alright?" Jacob asked me when he noticed how badly I was trembling. Each step of his towards my old house had intensified my shaking but no matter how shaken I was though my mind retained some consciousness and I quickly thought of an excuse.

"Why?" I mumbled, staring at the house. My body was consumed with fear and my eyes couldn't get any wider. "No," I tried to scream when Paul opened the door but my voice was gone and all the best I could do to shield my face was to cover my face into Jacob's chest. I was still trembling.

"What's up with you? Are you in pain?" Jacob asked. He was teasing. He sounded more distressed than I was.

I furiously shook my head and he laid me down, not dropped me, onto a plush couch. I peeked opened an eye and took into a new sight. This was my living room, the exquisite, wall consuming fireplace made of only stone and plaster made sure of it but the vibe was different. The color had changed. Instead of a dull yellow the walls had been repainted refreshing shade of green. It reminded me of moss. It gave the room a natural and neutral appeal. I should've felt relaxed but with Jacob looking straight down at me with dark, frightened eyes I was preoccupied and way too tense.

I couldn't speak and after a minute of staring his eyes mellowed and dipped a blanket over my small, shivering body. I had managed to shuffle out of my jacket and had dropped it onto the floor. I'm guessing it landed on the white rug because it didn't make a sound. I clung to its soft texture and curled up immediately underneath it, trying to steal every bit of warmth it could produce and the fire only feet away from me quickened the process. At that moment my muscles finally loosened and I felt somewhat at peace. There were no noises around me, it seemed Jacob had disappeared just like I had asked him, and my eyelids started to fall.

"Wow, you look cozy. Sleeping by a warm fire and a soft blanket, you must feel like you're in heaven."

I opened my eyes and surveyed the room only to find myself in a different room. It the white space, with no walls or floors. The couch I slept on disappeared beneath me and I jumped up, landing on my feet and continued to turn left to right, trying to find May whom I heard.

"Miss me?" She teased in front of me. My eyes focused her slim figure that had just appeared. She looked just like I remembered her. Petite but nonetheless pretty. Her hair fell like a maple waterfall down her back and side banes had shadowed over her left eye but her right one was just as vivid and green like a willow tree. She wore the same gray long sleeved shirt and dark washed jeans I had last seen her in. "So you called?" A bright smile lit her face and she tilted her head at me.

"What? I didn't call for you." I was so confused.

"Whenever you're in trouble and need some guidance, you naturally ask for a friend. So here I am. It's been a long time, Merris. How'd you get in the situation anyways? I thought you got a job in Florida and got to travel the U.S. I thought you had your life back on track!"

"I do! I had to come to Forks because of an investigation. I don't know how I ended here, back in this house." I pleaded. I couldn't argue, not with May. I didn't have the energy.

"I'm not mad, if that's what you think. I'm not at all disappointed either. I'm glad your back. Its time you confront the past and fix it so you can start moving with your life." May grinned. I narrowed my eyes but she didn't mind. "Honestly, have you seen yourself lately? You're a mess! Now that you're here, you can take back the happiness you left behind."

I scowled at her. I remembered her distinctively yelling at me years ago to get the hell out of La Push and now she was telling me it wasn't the best decision, actually the worst? I couldn't believe it. "I am happy! I've been happy for a long time! I have an amazing job, good friends, and peace of mind!"

"Stop fooling yourself. The day you left was the day you signed your death warrant. You'd be buried in the ground somewhere, known or not if it wasn't for me egging you on during those difficult months. If you're so happy, how come you're taking anti-depressant pills and drown your grief in alcohol every weekend? That doesn't sound like a happy person to me."

My hand curled into balls and my eyebrows knitted together. I couldn't be any more frustrated. In addition to express it, I let out a feral growl. May didn't even flinch.

"Don't forget to mention not only did you lose a baby but you lost your humanity, too. That "lovely" job of yours is the reason you got bit, remember? Don't be pissed at me, dear, I'm here to help. The first thing to do is let go of that grudge. It isn't doing anything to anyone except hurting you. Trust me, Jacob's changed. After you left he learned his lesson. Why can't you accept that he loves you?"

I let out another feral growl and this time her response was rolling her eyes. "I don't love him anymore, not after what he did."

"Marisol, give it up. That hatred for him is going to eat you alive and you'll never get your well-deserved happiness back. You missed you."

I sarcastically laughed. "No, he's just mad I left him. I saw the fury in his eyes today, not you."

"No, I didn't see what happened in the woods. I didn't see you running away from Jacob and in result falling on your ass when Andrea squealed over a squirrel. I didn't see you relax in Jacob's arms, don't deny it, you did after you admitted you liked his warmth. I did see the fury in his eyes, fury directed at himself. He finally found you again Marisol and I'm warning you now, he's going to make up for every mistake he made."

"I'd rather cut my heart out."

"I'm surprised you even have one with everything you've faced. Come on Merris, you have a one of a lifetime chance to get the guy of your dreams, the man you belong to and whom belongs to you. You can get the fairy tale ending Bella stole from you long ago! Six years ago you would have jumped at the chance to take that! What the hell happened to you?"

My face hardened. "When did you take sides?"

"I'm on yours. I'm tired of watching you crumble. I miss the old you, the lively girl who had the lightest heart. Out of all of us, Taylor, Desiree, Kate, Alexis and me, you're the one who should get her chance at love. Taylor is a successful lawyer and is an amazing prosecutor. Her motivation is justice for the families who lost loved ones to murderers, like you. You're her inspiration. Kate became a dedicated doctor after her grandmother and mother died from breast cancer and is one of the leading people in discovering a cure for the disease. Lexi is a proud mother of three and couldn't be any happier with her boys. Desiree reached her dream of becoming a designer and recently moved to France where she's famous. I'm dead but hey! I'm at peace, I get to be forever young and watch all of my friends live. I happy for four of them and now I'm waiting for you to make your move."

"Are you happy?" I challenged. She's dead! She has no family! No animals to pamper. Can she even sleep? That life would be pretty miserable.

"Of course I am. Heaven is amazing! I get to spend time with my dad, my grandmothers and my cat, and get to watch my family and friends whenever I want, even if they can't see me. It's like home! Did I mention I stay young and beautiful forever? I can never age or bruise? I'm an angel! I couldn't feel any more graceful or beautiful. It's only a matter of time before the rest of my family joins me and then it'll feel completely at home. I'm not sure how mom or dad could get along in heaven. I guess I'll see in a couple of years when her crazy driving finally gets the best of her."

I rolled my eyes at her attempt of humor.

"I see it's no use trying to talk to you about this so I'll finish this up. In the next two weeks you're going to feel great. Your heart is going to feel so much lighter and I bet you'll smile so much more here than you did in all those years alone combined. Trust me, that bad outlook on La Push and Jacob will dissolve quickly."

I raised a brow and lifted my head, my eyes fully scrutinizing her. "Want to bet?"

She laughed and winked. "Never bet against an angel. We have a special way manipulating life. Plus I don't have money on me. Ha!" Her laughter died down quickly but a glint remained in her eyes and a wide grin sketched onto her pale, elegant face. "You should listen to Jacob right now."

Before I could retort something back she disappeared and I found myself back into the living room with blurry vision. When it cleared I was still in my sleeping position, cuddling in the blankets. I lifted my head just a little and dropped it back onto the pillow when I couldn't produce motivation to leave the soft and extremely warm couch.

"Just listen to me Jacob and stop giving me that look. Maybe, let's say maybe Marisol did die. The imprint is gone! Which can explains why you felt so horrible after you and Embry left Maryland. Maybe Mary took her place, maybe Mary is your new imprint."

"I don't believe it Paul. The elders say we have one imprint and one imprint only. If that imprint dies we die, we lose all sense of life and nothing holds us down anymore. I felt she was still here and "Mary" brought back every bit of emotion and love I felt for Marisol within the second she and I connected eyes today. I know her eyes, I remember how remarkable and brilliant they look when angry or happy or determined. Mary is Marisol! I know how I felt and I know what she looks like, the coincidence is too uncanny."

Even though I wasn't looking at him I couldn't hold back a glare at whatever object was near me to replace his face. I had to force my face to relax when I heard something -I assumed a chair- squeak across the kitchen floor and footsteps follow immediately. I shut my eyes and pulled the blanket higher to cover more of my face, distinctly my mouth that had hardened into a firm line.

"Mary?" Paul asked, shaking me softly. I didn't bother to groan or make any noise. I was deathly still, like any other natural reaction, in fear that Jacob was also looming over me. "Wake up please," he pleaded, rubbing my shoulder now instead of shaking my body. If I wasn't so concentrated on trying to be soundless I would shake his hand off. He sounded too caring for my liking. I wasn't used to a comforting voice, let alone Paul's comforting voice. Comforting and Paul were very bold contradictions. "You have to wake up." Finally, after I grew tired of his touching, I stirred and moved closer to the edge of the couch to separate us further. "Please?" He poked my stomach and I couldn't keep in my aggravation any longer.

"Stop touching me!" I growled, flinging my arm from under the blanket and into the space between us. I didn't expect for our skin to touch but they did and it hurt. We hissed in sync but I got over the quick burning sensation of the slap and sat up, anxious to get myself away from him. My feet touched my jacket and I picked it up and slid it on. After adjusting the hood I took one more glance at Paul and noticed he was alone and the kitchen behind him was empty. My mind only spent a second wondering where Jacob went until I blocked those thoughts. "Thanks for the nap," I eventually mumbled out while making my way to the door. "We'll meet up again I guess."

Paul didn't reach me fast enough to pull me back because I already slammed the door and jogged off down the familiar path. I needed to be as far from the house as possible. I moved faster when I fully realized how dark it was getting because I couldn't see any further than five feet from me. I stopped to do a full scan and noticed the west looked much denser then the eat and concluded the eat was much flatter than the west, guessing the west was the woods and the east was the village or beach but I couldn't hear any waves or any sounds at all in fact. The night was dead silent. I felt my pocket for my phone and sighed in relief when I felt the bulge in my left pocket. I pulled it out and it dimly lit a circle around me. There was nothing. No bushes or pavement, just a lot of snow. I did a full three sixty and the light of my screen didn't extend as far as I hope and still saw nothing in sight. Either I didn't walk as fast as I thought I did and was still in middle of the path or I'm lost. I took a few extra steps for assurance but my heart stopped when flashing my phone gave me the same result it did a moment ago. I was past nervous and my legs began to shake that I really wanted to blame on the cold but didn't feel right solely blaming the winter temperature.

A snap of something caught my attention and I swerved around in the darkness to see nothing but my senses told otherwise. I relied on my hearing to catch anything else and unfortunately I did, small padding on the ground. It was slow and careful unlike my racing heart. I put on a brave face and lit my phone screen again in its direction but the light didn't extend far enough. Now I was worried. It noticed I was on to it, how would it react? Would it jump and attack me or wait until I continued walking. I didn't move and waited for it to make another move but like me it stayed still I guess.

"Come out," I challenged but my voice sounded soft. The thing made a movement and the sound echoed louder than my voice did. "Show yourself!" I said in the same pitch. There was other movement. I stepped back and took a stance, ready to duck and dash when it pounced but the pounce never came. Instead the thing waddled out into the open, into my circle of light and plopped down onto the snow only feet away. I stared wide mouthed and eyed at it.

Before me was a wolf, well a werewolf if you count its gigantic size. I took a step closer and it lifted its huge head higher. He- or she- didn't seem hungry or aggressive but it did look and sound anxious based of its loud whines and constant shifting of its back legs and snow-plowing tail and that had me nervous. "Hi," I introduced myself but I sounded too nervous to sound confident or friendly. "Do you live here?"

The wolf nodded its head ounce, or bobbed, not much of a difference.

"My name is Mary. Have you heard of me?" The wolf made a yip and its ears folded back. I was more with the wolf than his expression looked. Was he confused or just shy? "I'm working with your pack to solve the recent mutilations that are happening. What's your name?" The wolf bounced up and neared closer to me. I stiffened like a board. It sniffed my hair and stared at me with wide brown eyes. The wolf backed up and pranced around me. He looked excited now but I wasn't. I was not comfortable at all. "Can you phase back or give me some kind of sign?" The wolf quit prancing around me and stopped short to give me the longest, hardest look. It stepped closer to me and held its head lower to my waste, looking up at me with curious eyes. I made a risky move and extended my hand over its head. Its eyes stayed on my hand. I was hesitant to pat the wolf though. It nudged me and gave me approval to do so. I patted it for a while and slowly it seemed every stroke thinned my nervousness and eventually I felt pretty light hearted around it. During our bonding time I examine the creature thoroughly in appearance. It was light colored and the fur varied but its base color was a sandy one. I could say tan but since it was mainly in the dark I couldn't make the accurate assumption.

The wolf rolled over in the snow and gave me a sloppy grin, its tongue sliding out of its mouth. I couldn't help but giggle at its antics. "You're pretty cute, you know that?" It yipped and rolled over again. "It's getting late and I should get to my car." With that said, the wolf rolled over again onto its feet and propped itself beside me, ready to walk with me. I stroked its side during the short walk. "I really have no idea where I am. Hopefully you're guiding me back to the parking lot." The wolf yipped for a reply. "And I don't know what you said."

Suddenly I lost my footing and collapsed into the snow knee first and I instinctively held out my hands to stop me from falling any further. The wolf whined and nudged my back, urging me to get back up. When I pushing myself back up my knees were wet and my gloves had already melting snow in them. "Damn it." I cursed, pulling off my gloves to wipe my hands on a dry part of my jeans. "Whatever. A little snow can't kill anybody." The wolf yipped in agreement. Then I noticed something shiny reflecting the moon a little way from me. The sea shined behind this object in the background and I knew I had found my car. It was the only one in the area. "Yes!" I cheered, jumping from my spot. "I found it." The wolf whined. "Sorry. You found it. Thank you-" I stopped short. "I never got your name." The wolf shook its head or maybe it was shaking its head to get rid of any falling snow it had collected on its fur. "Can I guess?" I summarized all of the names of the pack that I remembered long ago but I made an excuse that I memorized the list of names of the pack in the file for this investigation. "Leah," was the first name that popped into my head. I knew it wasn't Jacob because his fur was darker. I was relying on the other werewolves' names. The wolf shook its head but made a yip though that sounded a lot like a laugh. "Is it Quil?" The wolf shook its head again. "Seth." I may have doubted it at first but once the name came out I felt surer of it by looking into its face. The wolf howled and nudged me anxiously, the wolf version of a hug. "Seth?" I let my excitement take hold of me for those few moments but remembered who I was posing as and redeemed my cooler disposition. "Third times the charm," I said with a wink. "It was nice meeting you. Thank you for tonight and leading me back to my car. I really appreciate it." I gave Seth one more glance before opening my door and sliding into the leather. I started my car at my back lights revealed nothing behind me and I felt disappointed he didn't stay to see me leave. I caught the irony of my thinking. He got to see me leave six years ago, why would I want him to watch me escape again? Even though I'm staying for a little longer he didn't know that, for all he knew that would be the last time he would ever see me again and he wouldn't be able to contact me again. That got me in a deep thought on my way to the hotel, if that was the case why wouldn't he stay in view? Maybe he did watch me roll away from afar but it hurt a little bit I couldn't see him, too.

In shorter time I had expected I had entered a spot and parked in front of a long, brightly lit two level building. I stretched my stiff body before exiting and locking my car and stumbled in the unpaved sidewalk to the manually opened entry doors. When I was blasted with hot air I nearly fainted. It felt amazing to be in the heat, in the lights and with no creepy feelings. The hotel smelt softly of flowers and very refreshing. I couldn't to collapse in my bed and sleep some more. I rushed down the hall to a familiar door with the number 12 on it and knocked loudly on it. It took a full minute and a half until someone stumbled out of bed to open it.

"Aren't you a little late Missy?" Tony tease, widening the opening enough for me to sneak under his arm. He closed the door and walked through the darkness swiftly compared to me tripping over something scattered on the floor. He didn't laugh like I had expected him to but leaped into bed than I followed him into. The other bed I felt up had two sleeping bodies cuddled under the sheets and I didn't think I could intrude in Andrea's and Anna's bunch without being detected and there's nothing fiercer than a tired Anna, not even a mother grizzly could compare. Tony held on side of the sheet up and after quickly peeling off my coat, boots, and jeans I crawled under. He and I didn't cuddle and slept very much apart and I mentally I thanked him for that. I didn't want to be touched again or enclosed by arms, no matter how much I trusted those arms. I curled up and tucked the sheet underneath the comforter around my body to get some kind of warmth. The sheet was very thin and not very soft either. I shifted my pillow and let my head sink into the battered fluff, waiting for any kind of dreams to visit me. My wait didn't take long. Soon my body had physically relaxed and my arm somehow found its way to the ledge of the bed where it hung for quite a while as I was too busy cringing in sleep.

"Marisol?" Someone called from the blackness in my head. "Marisol? Where are you?" It was a woman calling me but I don't remember her voice. It was new to me. "Marisol, come her sweetie. Please? We need to go." It was soft, sweet, and genuinely motherly. I thought of my mother but made no connection between this voice and hers. "Marisol, come out now. We need to go. Where are you?" She sounded more frantic and louder. What was she talking about? The blackness dimmed and dull colors took its place. I tried my best to focus on some images forming but everything was going too slow. "Marisol! Hurry please!" She pleaded. I still couldn't see anyone but the images were getting clearer and clearer. I made out a room, a foyer I assumed, with two stair cases, one headed upstairs and another lead to the almost blackened downstairs. The woman's scream echoed downstairs and I rushed up the few steps of the opposite stairway cause it was the only escape I could see, there was no door, and ran across the wide living room and stopped midway when I noticed something move behind a long couch lined up against outside wall. I was hesitant to follow it but decided that a peek was more important than running around a house I didn't know. I knelt down to the carpet and peeked behind the couch and gasp. A small child was huddled in the middle, still as a rock. Her head was in her lap and a mop of dark hair covered her cheek and forehead so I couldn't see anything. She didn't make any sounds so I couldn't tell if she was crying at all either.

"Honey, let's go." I suggested, extending my hand to the girl. She lifted her head and stared at my hand and backed away further. "Please? I won't hurt you." The girl looked up at the small slit between the wall and couch and the little light it illuminated and looked back at me with her wide, dark eyes. She knelt down and crawled into my arms where I hid her face into my chest. "We're going to go, okay?" She gave a small nod and captured some of my shirt into my chest. I then realized my shirt had changed to a darker dress with something dotted or splattered all over the front but I didn't spend any time examining it. I stood up and prepared myself to run but the slamming of a door changed my direction from the foyer to the kitchen beside the living room. I kneeled behind the counter and started to crack the cabinet open. I didn't even have to motion the child to get in because she instinctively crawled in and fumbled all the way to the back behind a big kettle.

Another woman screamed but this time is was louder, angrier, and I could tell she was much different from the woman whom had called me earlier. "Jenna!" She cried out. "You killed her!" Then there was a growl. I cringed and knelt down closer to the floor. Frantic footsteps followed her cries and soon a man's voice cried out also.

"No! Jenna!" The woman sobbed behind him. What killed Jenna? Jenna was the woman calling me, right?

"Damn you," the man cursed and my ears perked. His voice sounded familiar. The child moved something -the kettle- aside and stuck her head out to get a look outside her small haven. Her mouth formed a 'o' and tried to squeeze through the small opening but I pressed a little pressure to keep her from getting out any further.

"No," I ordered. "You stay in there until I say it's safe, got it?" She looked at me with fearful eyes and coward back into the cabinet. I didn't mean to sound harsh and snatch the excited glint in her eyes but I was scared for both of us. I hesitated to move but her whimper was my motivation to get going.

The rustling downstairs got louder and slower I crawled. I didn't know what I was going to see, something scary surely and traumatizing but I tried to prepare myself by saying I've seen worse in crime scenes for my job.

I finally made it out of the kitchen and leaned over the railing overlooking both stairs and the full foyer. There no one in sight but I heard rustling downstairs and soft cries. A shadow escaped the blackness of the basement and I lowered my head. Coming out of the basement first was a woman, tall but not slender with cascading black hair falling over her shoulders. She turned around and looked downwards at the upcoming shadow following her. Her face was red with tears but held no gentleness or vulnerability like I'd expect from someone who suffered a loss. Instead she had hardness and a solid hatred on her face and it scared me. Not because of how hostile she looked but because the expression was familiar to me on so many occasions. My mother wore the dreadful mask almost every day.

I gasped when I recognized the man who had left the downstairs but neither of them looked up. He was my father but he looked so much younger, exactly like he did in the photographs in his office that I would look at when I was younger. His hair was thicker but the same dirty blond and his skin, though covered fully by jeans and an army-themed jacket, was much paler than I remembered when I glanced at his grim-stricken face. His eyes, abyss tainted blue, were sullen and cold, far different from when I was a child.

"You let him escape!" The woman yelled much like my mother. "Why did you let him leave after what he did to Jenna?"

Chris- my father- didn't change his sullen expression and looked at her sadly. "There was nothing I could do to stop him, Ava." My heart stopped. Ava was my mom. It wasn't just a coincidence. "I'm just a human. I couldn't have taken him on without sharing the same fate as your sister. Even if I could, I would never forgive myself for taking away Marisol's only parent left." I leaned in closer, trying to hear anything else. I couldn't make sense of this. Wasn't Chris my dad? Wasn't Ava my mom, too?

"That monster killed Jenna! That's not a parent, that's a murderer. He killed her mother, my sister!" My throat burned my eyes stung. This was too much for me to take. Ava wasn't my mother, she was my aunt. Chris wasn't my father but I already suspected that a long time ago when I noticed the significant differences between him and me. My burning question was the most important one: Who were my real parents? Ava said Jenna was my mother and Jenna was killed by someone or something Chris insisted was my father.

My mind was distracted but that didn't mean I was unaware of my surroundings. My ears caught the sound of a cabinet squeaking and I turned around the see the child sneak out of the kitchen. Her steps were weary but she was determined to walk. I slid further away from the stairway and towards the kid. I didn't want to be seen so I settled with frantic hand motions but she didn't mind me and continued to walk. I slid over to the side to block her path. "Stop it," I whispered, grabbing the girl's arm but she squirmed and made a loud racket that caught the attention of Ava and probably Chris, too, but she was the one who spoke up.

"Marisol!" She cried out and I freaked. She knew I was there and I grabbed the kid's arm trying to find a hiding place back into the kitchen but the girl screamed and hollered and I had to let her go. I didn't make it in time to hide before Ava hopped up the stairs. She didn't even notice me. No, she went straight for the girl and hugged her just as I did when I pulled her out from behind the couch. "Marisol," she sighed in relief. "Chris!" She called from downstairs. I took the chance and bolted behind the countertop. "Marisol's okay but she looks scared," Ava cooed. I stretched my neck an inch to view them and knew I was safe from sight. They didn't mean me when they called my name. They meant the little girl who was happily cuddled in Ava's arms. I tried to piece together this odd dream while they comforted my three and a half year old self.

This would be nineteen years ago. I never remembered it and I guessed I wouldn't because psychologically traumatic memories tended to be pushed aside and forgotten but if my mother was murdered wouldn't I have remembered her, at least her voice anyways? Then again many people don't remember their first four years but seriously, who forgets their mother? Ava and Chris witnessed my father slipping away from my dead mother's corpse. I couldn't truly believe he murdered my real mom without proof. But I had so many unanswered questions. Who or what was my father? Why haven't I heard about him? Why didn't Ava even mention my mother to me? In fact why did she treat me as horribly as she did? Shouldn't she love me as her sister's daughter, as her niece? Why didn't she? Was I to blame for my mother's death or did she just take all her grief on me for the next thirteen years? Chris seemed nice but what did he know about my poor family situation? Obviously he seen my dead mother and knew her relationship with Ava. What was Ava's relationship with my mom anyways? She seemed pretty distraught about mom's death.

But for all I knew maybe my imagination was playing a cruel, cruel trick on me and messing with my head for no reason. I tried my best to ignore it but firstly I had to get out of the delusional dream.

"We need to leave now Marisol," Ava whispered to the little girl.

"Take her to the car. We need to leave before Derek comes back." Chris instructed Ava. She looked up from my younger self and up at Chris. "It's not safe. He loved Jenna but look what he did. God knows what he could do to Marisol. She's too young. We need to get her out of her before she witnesses anything else. She's heard enough as it." Ava picked the little me up and rushed to the door but not without glancing back downstairs with tearful eyes. I was more than surprised. That might be the only time I've seen her close to crying.

Chris entered the kitchen and I scrambled out of the way but he didn't even acknowledge me. He thoroughly searched the cabinets and pulled out a big bundle of sheets. He didn't bother to close it as he went downstairs into the basement. I followed him clumsily but managed to get a firm grip on the railing on our trip to the basement. What was in store for me killed my heart beat for a very long time.

The basement was cold, gray and lifeless. The body sprawled out on the blood smeared floor didn't help lift the energy of the room either. I stared at my supposed mother stare lifelessly at the wall which I gaped at in horror. Long claw marks streaked along it with bits of blood, I couldn't tell it wasn't a quick kill and run here. Chris stared at Jenna's body and even though she was covered with bruised and blood I knew I was more her than Ava. I inherited the same wavy black hair, the same wide eyes, and slender figure. Ava was the opposite. Jenna was beautiful even after death and that choked me up.

She shouldn't have died. She should have been there for me. Chris did the courtesy to close her eyes and I felt excruciatingly sad that I wouldn't see her brown orbs ever again, though I stare at them in the mirror every day it didn't feel the same. My heart twisted more and tear slipped from my eyes. How could my dad do this? I had no one else to blame but him. He was there, whether he did it or not, he should've stopped this!

Chris glanced back at the window well that my dad escaped in. "Why Derek?" Chris looked back down at my mother and then laid the blanket over her body. The blood soaked in the thin sheet immediately and I had to turn away. More tears slipped down my cheek and soon I was full on sobbing. He laid a hand on my mom's covered face. "We'll get you justice. I promise." With that said, Chris left the house for the last time while I stayed behind. A car started outside and skidded off. I just sat down on the stairs and cried into my lap.

Maybe this was a lie or maybe my whole life was a lie. If I did have a different mother then I'm sure she would be far more caring than Ava but she was murdered, and worse, by my own father, my own flesh and blood. I cried harder. My family was much more screwed up than I assumed and I couldn't even remember half of them.

"Pay attention," I heard May say behind me. I wiped by cheeks and eyes and looked behind me and saw her graceful figure float beside me. I gave her a questioning look and returned to stare at my mother. "When you're dead, you learn so much more than you could as part of the living. You can relive the past and notice the details you oversaw in your early life."

"Is it true? That's... that's my mom?" I stuttered because my bottom lip quivered again.

"I'm sorry," was her useless reply.

"You're sorry for what May? Is this real or not? Are you sorry for my loss?" I motioned to Jenna's dead body. "Or are you sorry for lying to me and screwing with my head with this delusional dream!" May shook her head and slowly things started to dissipate around us, solid objects where blurring over and blending in with everything else.

"This is too much for you," she stated and then got up towards the only physical object left, the door Chris used to leave. "Hurry now, we have to leave."

I was hesitant to move from my spot but my mother's body had already disappeared in a blurry mess and I rushed up the stairs to join May's side outside. I was hit with freezing cold air and my feet, bare and unprotected, sunk into the soft snow. I let out a yelp while May glided over the cold surface without leaving footprints. I didn't budge, I refused to torment my feet any further. Then May disappeared and I turned in countless circles to find her but no use. I turned around again to face the old house and stared at it. It was a small cabin, with a small wraparound porch. The whole area was surrounded by woods and a feeling of familiarity overcame me. I remembered this area but how? There were no photographs of this house or any road signs I recall from my childhood. Maybe it was a feeling of home that I missed, it just appeared to lighten my heart but I didn't believe that. This dream came to me for a reason and I was determined to know why.

I turned around and made my first step away from the house but tripped. My legs were freezing and wet, as well as my arms, but that wasn't what concerned me. When I picked myself up, there was red residue in the show, right where my dress what. I scrambled up and picked at my dress and noticed the droplets. I concluded a terrifying fact: it was blood. How the hell did blood appear on my dress? Who did this dress belong to anyways? I would never wear something this vintage and lacey!

"Mary," someone echoes in the air. I popped up my head and searched the area but nothing moved. "Mary! Wake up!" I fell into the snow and yelped. Nothing pushed me over, I just fell into the cold. I close my eyes as the voice got louder and covered my ears.

"Shut up!" I screamed but my voice didn't echo like his did. I opened one eye and spotted Tony backing away from me. He was startled by my yelling. I propped up on my elbows on the bed and did a three sixty of the room. I was back into the hotel, in my bed, and dressed in a long sleeved shirt and panties. I wasn't wearing a dress, not the blood splattered one, and I wasn't cold. I was safe and warm and in the present. I couldn't be any happier. "I had the weirdest dream," I told Tony but he didn't care. He just pinched the bridge of his nose and stalked into the bathroom even though he was fully dressed. I looked at the bed next to us and saw Anna laying stomach down on her side, propped on her elbows, too, with her head in her hands, reading a big binder of papers. Andrea was nowhere in sight.

"What are you reading?" I asked, pulling myself out of bed. I leaned over to search under the bed for my suit case.

"I'm memorizing the history of area. I just realized that-" I wasn't listening because Andrea had silently slipped into the room and I couldn't help but stare at her. Where did she go? Why was her hair a mess and bended? Yet how come she changed outfits? "- we could be closer to another pack than we thought. There's an undocumented piece of land, a considerable amount that could be based for a village that could've gone undetected for years! We just need permission from Charlotte to cross state lines and into Oregon. It might be a lone drive, a good 6 hours but if we can call for a helicopter then we can make it there in great time. Do you want to come with me to convince her?" I didn't even nod my head. I continued to stare at Andrea and gaped. She looked horrible and tired. I stopped my search for new clothes and stepped into a close enough distance between us that I capable of embracing her.

"Where have you been?" I asked. Andrea looked up at me with her bare eyes. She wore no makeup at all! No mascara, no eye liner, no foundation or lip gloss.

"I had to go outside for a few minutes because couldn't sleep" was her hoarse reply. I narrowed my eyes just a bit, not too much to look scrutinizing even though I was deeply puzzled. Andrea avoided eye contact and glanced sideways towards Anna who had shut her binder. She shook her head at Andrea for a reason I didn't know or understand. Why did Anna look so harsh? Just a minute ago she seemed okay, bored but okay. What did Andrea do? Wake her up in the middle of the night?

"You better get dressed," Tony ordered, pulling out my suit case from the closet. Who put that in there? "We're leaving in 20 minutes." I gaped at him. My hair was a mess and needed to be straightened to get the crinkles out of it, probably washed too to rid of the too many oils it collected last night, and my face was also an oily mess. Did he expect me to clean up in 20 minutes? He was crazy if so!

I grabbed the first pair of jeans I saw and two tops, one lazy tank top that needed to be covered with something. On this morning my hand had pulled out a long sleeved, black cardigan. I stalked into the bathroom and started working on my hair first. I brushed it out, sprayed some of Anna's waterless shampoo on it and began to rather. After tweaking it, I gave it one more final brush stroke and went on to change clothing. The jeans were a little too tight for my liking and wondered how on earth they stayed in my wardrobe. When I turned sideways I couldn't help but admire my reflection because honestly, my ass looked great in these jeans. I then slid on my tank top and the cardigan over it. It was longer than I thought but after tying the rope in the back, I was impressed with how sophisticated I looked. I then prepared my makeup. I padded my face with a wet towel and smeared on a thin layer of light foundation, over it a streak of pink blush and over my eyes I used a shadow effect for eye shadow, including an odd iron red but it still looked attractive anyways. Lastly I applied eyeliner, just a thin line of it over my top lip and bottom rim of my eyes. After I looked one more time in the mirror, I have myself an okay to be seen in public. Tony didn't care or even compliment me, not that I expected him to but still, I made it out of the bathroom in record time, he should acknowledge that.

I guess I just missed some light air. Ever since we came to Washington not once had I seen or hear anything funny or welcoming from my team. It's kind of pathetic Seth was the only one made me feel truly welcomed. I had to get over it quickly though, even if this was my short term home we had a job to do. I guess it was a good motive not to grow attached to La Push.

"Mary," Tony's voiced when just the two of us entered the hallway. I was startled because he sounded commanding, angry, and I really hoped it wasn't me who made him this way. "We had a visitor last night after you fell asleep."

I was surprised, "oh really? Who was it?"

Tony turned to me with piercing blue eyes. "Jacob Black, the alpha of the pack." Oh I know that bastard. I think the hatred I possessed for him showed vividly on my face. "He wants to join you during the investigation, not us, just you." I gave him an odd look. I understood him but I didn't really think Jake would do that, coming way early in the morning to demand something like that. "Mary? Did you hear me?"

"Let me get this straight, Jake came here 1 to 6 in the morning to request me as his escort?" A scowl added itself to my already sour-looking face. He imitated my expression.

"You go by nickname basis now?" Oh shit, I thought, but my newly developed nervousness didn't show when he continued talking. "Yes, he pounded on the door 3 in the morning, waking both Andrea and I up. You and Anna were too knocked out and snoring to hear," I would've have totally inserted "I don't snore!" but he kept on talking and sounded angry enough. I was in for hell if I were to interrupt his rant. "He told me he was sorry for being rude early, and how you got hurt on his watch. He wants to make it up to you today. How? I don't you. I'm guessing a drive around town, introducing you to new people and possible suspects." Tony took a breath. "I'm nervous you won't be able to defend yourself if things get too out of hand between you two. He's a grown man, very powerful and if he loses control just once, I don't know what I will do. Kill the fucker probably but who knows what Charlotte will decide, rule it as an accident and move on and I won't stand for that Mary!" I stepped forwarded and comforted him by lending a hand onto his shoulder and rubbing it. "If you get nervous or scared, call me. I don't care what I'm doing at the moment I will stop to drive there and pick your ass up. I don't trust him and I told him that before he left."

I was glad this was got Tony upset, better than having the blame put on me. Tony was another advantage for me that he loathes Jacob just as much as I do. I was also very curious though about a question that had popped into my mind. "Was that all he said? Did he say anything else? I mean really, anything?" I was concerned that he might have said something about knowing me six years ago, or mentioned my real name. Tony shook his head.

"Nope, he was just real blunt about taking you out. He didn't even seem sorry." My brows knitted together. Why would Jacob take me out if he wasn't sorry? I mean, okay I get that he's anxious to "catch up," but would he really risk that? I could easily jeopardize his involvement with this investigation by just me claiming bad touch or harassment. "Mary, you can handle yourself right?"

"Of course I can!"

"...alright. He should be here in a few minutes. I'll call him and tell him you're ready." I nodded yet again, at a loss of words. I was not ready at all for this but my pride stopped me from asking Tony to help. He could've canceled it but I didn't want to call myself a coward.

"You ready?"

"No."

Tony turned around and gave me a weird look. "Mary, are you sure you're okay?"

"No, no! I can do this!"

"You are a liar!"

"Alright," he said. He steadily walked off to make the call while I looked around for May. Thanks to her, I embarrassed myself in front of Tony.

"You are a piece of work," May spoke sarcastically. "I don't know what to say."

"Then don't say anything at all," I muttered. I couldn't see her anywhere.

"Ugh! What the hell am I supposed to do with you?"

"I'm not in the mood to argue," I kept my voice soft now because I heard a door open.

Finally she appeared a few feet away from me, leaning against a door that belonged to Room 6. She had a scornful look on her face.

"Drop the attitude, hon."

"Drop yours."

She bounced off the walls and stomped towards me. Her eyes were fiery and narrowed. I naturally stiffened. She looked absolutely murderous.

"I'm sick of you. I'm sick of all this god-damn bitterness you carry around and the hatred you throw around. You know what? Get the hell over it! So what if he cheated on you. So what if he rejected you. That was 6 years ago. Everything else unfortunate that happened to you afterwards you brought on yourself. You keep holding onto that scornful focus that drives you into the deep pit of emptiness you found yourself "comfortable" in, I won't allow it."

"What are you going to do?"

"You'll find out very soon."

"What? Tell me!"

What could have May been planning? I have no clue and it frustrated me terribly. She disappeared and I let out a growl. Another door opening made me jumped and I looked around for the source. I found a young girl trotting out of her room and towards my direction. She was running fast and I tried to intercept her way but she swerved around me. Shoot! What a sneaky little thing...

I heard a thumb right before I turned around and heard her mumble something.

A man chuckled. "Watch out kiddo, you might hurt yourself." My ears perked. His voice sounded scarily familiar.

"Whoa, you're tall mister!" I turned around and gulped. The little girl looked straight up into Jacob's face and sheepishly smiled. In return he offered his hand. Her hands barely fit in his.

"No bruises? No bumps?" He teased and ruffled her hair. She giggled.

"Nope," she swatted his hand away and I couldn't help but grin. It was kind of cute, I admit.

"Rachel?" A woman cried out from behind us. "Rachel? Sweetheart, where are you? Oh my god, Rachel! Rachel?" The door slammed and I peered over my shoulder to see a figure dashing towards us. I had to turn my entire body around to see more details, such as the woman was still in her PJ's- long, flannel pants and a white oversized tee shirt- and was quite a bit taller than I was. Her hair was scattered all over her shoulders in messy knot. It was after she stepped closer to the entrance when the light hit her face that I could actually tell her hair color -probably not natural though- was a dull blond. She almost fell onto the carpet running towards her daughter but in seconds the young girl was thrashing around in her mother's arms. Now that the two were together, the resemblance was uncanny. No doubt the two were related. "Honey, don't do that ever again!" The girl stopped thrashing and crossed her arms, obviously pouting. The older woman glared up at Jacob. "Who are you?" Her tone suggested that she thought Jacob had harmful intentions towards her daughter and when he didn't reply I stepped into the conversation.

"She ran into his leg and he was helping her up. You shouldn't yell at him." It was unbelievable how soft and sincere my voice was. The woman's eyes- bright and blue- snapped away from Jacob and to me. The moment our eyes locked her harshness evaporated and she lost her frown.

"I'm sorry and who are you?"

"Mary. This is-"

"Jacob. Jacob Black. I'm sorry ma'am." I couldn't take my eyes off him. I was so surprised by him, or me all by myself. It was just like I was just meeting him. He was still charming, friendly, and I was still mesmerized as ever. The older woman shook her.

"No, no. It's alright. I'm sorry for yelling at you. You see though, Rachel has a habit of running off and I'm afraid that someone might find her before I do and run off with her," I saw her wince and I felt some sympathy for her.

"I completely understand." Jacob replied. He moved away to be closer to me and I took a step back. He noticed and I couldn't catch what emotion had washed over his face because he quickly covered it with the same facade he held moments ago. "Hello," He greeted me directly and this time I adverted my eyes so he couldn't see the weariness painted all over them.

"Hi," I muttered.

"Don't be shy," I didn't have to look up to know he was grinning so I didn't. While I kept my eyes down it was inevitably I would acknowledge his legs. They were covered in dark washed jeans that really flattered him. No sarcasm. I saw the hems of his coat hanging freely at his sides. As I titled my head upwards just a little bit, I noticed the coat was familiar. Was it at the Calvin Klein store I saw it at? I think so. That made no sense though cause that jacket cost over $200! $239 exactly, I think it was on sale. How on earth could Jacob buy that? "You ready to go?"

"Uh, sure, I guess." I said reluctantly. We stepped into the cold and instantly wrapped my cardigan around my body. Instinctively I ran close to him because his bouldering body could cover the winds for me. I looked around the parking lot for an old vintage bug but found none. A silly fear came over me. would I be really walking back to La Push? That bastard better not have any ideas!

"Ouch!" I yelped when I bumped in Jacob's rock hard exterior. He had abruptly stopped. He gave a quick glance at me with a small grin. His arms crept around my waist and pulled me aside of him. I let out a loud squeak because he had touched a very sensitive spot of my body that was extremely ticklish.

"Get in," he said, leading me to the side of a very large, very new pick up. I tried to twist out of his grasp.

He let his hand drop and I swiftly swerved around the back of the truck and had to reach to get a firm grasp on the passenger side door.

The truck was very nice, probably only a year old. Honestly I didn't think Fords were this nice. From what I could describe, it was what I think was called a super crew, with the four doors instead of the basic two, meaning the truck added another foot long in length. The paintjob, though scattered with spatter of mud and dirty snow, was a glossy coat of black. The bed of the truck was big but I didn't see if anything was inside it because it was covered by tarp. I had to leap to get into this pick up but when I was inside I was astonished. The seats were leather, gray, smooth, and glossy. They complimented the interior very nicely. No one would expect that kind of luxury in a car like that I guess but still, very comfortable seats indeed. What I expected was a large screen built into the dashboard but to my surprise, there were lots of buttons, an underrated radio. For a vehicle this nice, there should be a GPS.

Jacob adjusted himself quickly into his seat while I pretty much shrunk into mine. I almost forgot about my seatbelt until he started the ignition. The rumbling of the truck made me jump and I made sure I had some kind of protection before we rolled out of the parking into god-knows-where. What helped me relaxed was the odd smell in the truck, a natural and mild fragrance that reminded me of morning mist or the ocean's aroma. I was intoxicated for a while but then Jacob finally decided to speak and my nerves came back.

"Its nice out," he started. I could tell from his body language he felt as awkward as I was. He kept avoided my eyes and stared out the window. I acknowledged the few clouds shielding the sky and nodded in agreement.

"It's rare, right?" I tried to pretend like I never lived here by asking that question. I don't think he fully believed my act but nothing in his face told me otherwise. He just looked bored.

"Yeah," he turned left to a less busy road and I turned around to look at something other than his face. "So... were you surprised when I came to pick you up?"

"Yeah," I mumbled. "Why did you want to drive me around anyways?"

"For some 101 time," I stiffened. "I wanted to apologize for my behavior yesterday. I wasn't in the best mood."

"Why?" I needed to divert this conversation quick.

"Just some relationship troubles," I gave him some weary eyes but he didn't notice. He sighed when he finally caught onto my gaze. "My girlfriend wanted to take a step up in our relationship by moving in." Was he testing me? Did he want to see my reaction? I wouldn't give him one!

"Why is that a problem?" I asked nonchalant when really I was growing curious by the second. Did this relationship of his have a future? Is it stronger than what he and I had? Who was his girlfriend anyways? Wasn't it an Elizabeth K-something that he kept calling?

"I don't want it to be serious. She's not the one."

I had to keep a steady flow of breaths to keep me focused on something other than whacking him. He had the one, he had an imprint. It was me! But no, he wanted Bella. Was that who he was talking about? Did he still want Bella? She was a fucking vampire now and he still wanted her? I couldn't be any more pissed. I was right here, single and available, with some color on my skin, normal colored eyes, and smelled better than a vampire would to a werewolf and yet he wanted that bitch? What did she have that I didn't?

Did he like her weird yellow eyes and her bland personality? How about her skin? It was pasty when she was still human, now it's just freaking white. Did he just like abnormal girls in general? Or did he like challenges since she is glued to Edward's hand?

"Don't get so overworked, Merris." Oh, great, now May can read my thoughts, too. I was too mad to reply to her.

"Do you want to get some breakfast and get the day started with a full stomach?" Jacob offered a wide smile but was too mad to offer one back. Jacob noticed my livid expression and cringed.

"Knock it off, Merris!"

"Are you alright?"

"Merris..."

"Can you please turn on the radio?" I had to ask. May sounded pissed, more pissed than I was. I swear I could hear her voice drop five pitches. It sounded almost demonic. Maybe the radio would block out her voice.

Jacob took a long pause before making the smell effort in to raising the volume. I would have cringed at country music but since the song was by Taylor Swift I thought I could manage the three or so minutes the song would've lasted before exchanging into a Tim McGraw one.

"Answer his question!" Damn, I could still hear her voice. I sighed in annoyance. I'll talk to the bastard if it means shutting her up.

"Breakfast sounds nice." I forced out. My voice sounded much more strained than I had hoped. "What place are you thinking of?"

"Remember Jeff's Dinner?"

"Yeah?" I jumped out of my skin. Did I really say what I think I just said out loud? Jacob's eyes flashed down at me with wide, dark pupils and I thanked my quick wit for the raw excuse I conjured up. "Tony and I passed it on our way here. Tony wanted to get a burger there but we were already late as it is." I hated telling lies like this because they were easily found out and the last thing I needed was Jacob on my ass for god knows what. Was he angry I left, did he want revenge? Or was he truly devoted on getting me back?

His eyes were weary still but finally he focused back on the road and off me. "They make delicious pancakes that you should try."

"Do they make chocolate chip pancakes?"

"I know the chef personally, I'm sure he won't mind adding a few chocolate chips." Jacob insisted, adding a wink. My heart fluttered just a tiny bit and I fought off the feeling best I could which didn't go very well. The nervousness remained until we pulled up to a familiar old cottage.

"Where's this?" I asked after realizing this was Sam's house. I had to act clueless and finally my voice was cooperating with me.

"This is my friend Sam's house. He needed my help with something. It might be a while so why don't you come inside with me?" He got out of the car before I could and made an attempt to escort me from the passenger side but I jumped far from where he was standing and snuck under his extended arm. I stalked to the porch and firmly stood outside the screen door. Someone heard my stomping on the way because moments later a soft hello caught my attention.

I stared at a heartbreaking face. She had wide brown eyes, long black hair, and a slim figure but all I could stare at was the three long claw marks dragging down her cheeks. It was rude to stare but I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She looked so heartbroken. "Marisol?" She whimpered. She pushed the door open and engulfed me into a huge hug. I was so surprised and glanced at Jacob to see his response. He wasn't that surprised, instead he looked just as sad as Emily did.

"You have me confused me for someone else, I'm sorry." She peered down at me with confused eyes and it tore my heart up even more to keep up this lie, especially to her. How could I tell Rosalie this, the cold hearted, hellish scary vampire who I was and not be able to trust Emily with my secret?

"Emily, this is special agent Mary Bowen." Jacob intercepted, stepping onto the porch. Emily didn't take her eyes off of me and I tried to offer her a shy smile but failed miserably.

"No, no. This is Marisol! She looks exactly like her!" Emily insisted. Her voice sounded a lot like begging, like she was begging me to agree with her. I'd hate to push her, to re-open wounds but if I let everything spill, I'm sure my heart would've split right in half and crack in so many places it would be impossible to fill in all the dents and holes.

"I know," Jacob placed a comforting hand her shoulder and I myself was tempted to do the same but it wouldn't be right. I shouldn't comfort her if I'm the one causing the tears forming in her eyes. Emily blinked them away and let me go. She glided back inside and Jacob shot me a heated look. He was angry at me, not Mary, at Marisol, for lying and upsetting Emily. I didn't blame him and shamefully gloated behind him into the warm house.

The house was much different from what I remembered it. Instead of a simple layout, there was a bigger couch -still ratty and vintage as I expected- and one more chair, making a total of three. I was amazed there was still room in the living room! The vault of the ceiling seemed to open up the room at least. What caught my main interest was the tub of stuffed animals and Tonka trucks piled high in the corner. Did Sam and Emily have kids finally? There were a lot of toys. How many kids exactly?

"Mary," I heard Jacob call out. He was exiting the kitchen but he motioned to me with his hand as he was one step out the door. "I'll be back. I'm going to talk with Sam in the woods. You can talk with Emily." I narrowed my eyes at him but he was already outside leaving. I knew he meant more than just talking with Emily.

"Hello," Emily greeted me formally. Her voice was shallow and weak. "Sorry about the mess, I was cooking breakfast and Annie wanted to help with the French toast." Emily laughed at the memory I wish I could have seen. My small smile didn't last even a second when she wiped her nose with her sleeve. She was still crying or trying to recover from it and it made me uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry," I said but I kept my distance from her. Emily stared me down with pitiful eyes and I shuffled around. It was a habit I worked very hard on trying to rid myself of.

"Your face," she starts. "It's tragic. There is no color in your cheeks and your eyes are sunken in and dim. What happened to you? What sucked all signs of life from you?" I didn't know how to answer for a while. Was she talking to Marisol or Mary? I'm sure she still believed I was Marisol even though Jacob had told her otherwise.

"I lost someone close," I answered truthfully. This was Emily and even though I was trying to be someone else I still wanted to be sincere with her. My hand instinctively went to my flattened stomach as a series of memories flooded my mind. Jacob, his betrayal, and Bella's face made it turn while short memories of me with a small but growing baby bump made my heart ache worse. Emily looked down at me with those pitiful eyes and this time they were brimming with tears.

"Do you want to sit down?" She pulled up a chair and I gladly accepted her offer. "Would you like some coffee or tea?" I shook my head and avoided her eyes. I glanced at them once and the concern Emily displayed through them made me awkward, enough I forced myself to stare out the window searching for someone outside, Sam or Jacob.

"You look just like an old friend of ours." Emily started, passing me a plate of cookies she took out of the oven. "She left a few years ago and we never heard from her again."

"Maybe she died," I muttered.

Emily gave me a hard look but it quickly dissolved to pity and I had to look away once more.

"I doubt it," she firmly stated. I had the chance to tell her my true identity and with her I wouldn't risk much. Jacob wouldn't hear and it would be a huge relief to finally tell someone, to be able to trust someone if I needed to go to them for help. I opened my mouth and waited for the words to pour out.

"Emily," I whimpered. I meant to sound to strong but something caught most of my voice, fear maybe? I had no idea. Emily twitched and stared me down with her eyes." "Please don't make me say it," I begged. Emily sat next to me immediately and laid and hand on me. "Not with Jacob being so close."

"We won't hear us!" Emily insisted. "You can trust me, I promise. Marisol?"

"Not so loud!" I don't know why I was paranoid. At the time I was scared Jacob was actually hiding outside waiting to catch me in the act. Emily patted my hand.

"We can go upstairs if you like?" I nodded and followed her up the stairs. She opened up the first door to our right and I took in the warm colors. The room was big, with a huge bed up against the wall in the middle of two huge windows. The theme was green and black, with bits of brown. The bed was full of pillows and a black comforter covered every inch of it. Two nightstands on both sides of it were oak and plastered with pictures. A few I was curious about because inside the wooden frames where three kids, two babies and one five year old I guess.

"Who are they?" I asked.

"The twins are Stephen and Hannah. Their older sister is Annie." I smiled. They were beautiful kids with wide smiles. They got most of their looks from their mother.

"Sweet kids," I commented. Emily smiled in return. She fell onto the bed and patted the spot next to her.

"It's been a long time we talked," she soothed, rubbing my back. "Why did you leave?"

I contemplated telling her the truth. Would she cry like I probably would? I didn't want to go that far. But when I looked at her face I saw my second mother and I went against my natural instincts to hide my vulnerability from people. "I was pregnant," I admitted to her. I didn't look up to see her face but I heard a loud gasp and imagined how contorted in must have looked.

"I learned I was pregnant a few days before I left and I couldn't figure out how to tell Jacob. There were so many questions going through my mind, like how my mother would respond or if I would have a roof other my head if she happened to kick me out? Would Jacob accept me or would Billy think I ruined his life? During this time I spent none with Jake because he was infatuated with Bella. When I finally caught up to him at his house we, I don't know how, got into an argument. I think he just got off the phone with her about movie plans or something, I can't recall, but immediately I asked him if he was seeing Bella in more than just a "friends" way like he kept insisting it was. Soon I was telling him that she was dangerous to be around, how she always brought a swarm of trouble with her. What I left unspoken was why I was concerned, I kept thinking this wasn't a home for a baby, this wasn't a stable relationship and I needed to fight for a home, for us, because I desperately needed to keep this family together. The more he yelled then the more desperate and defensive I became. I was losing the fight and I knew it was over when he..." I stopped. I had managed to keep the tears inside my lids but the very mention of domestic abuse choked me every time. I felt weak and pathetic to be a victim, it stung my pride and I refused to speak of it any further. Emily hugged me tightly.

"I'm sorry Emily," I cried, the first of few tears fell onto my cheek. I quickly wiped it away with my finger. "I should have at least said good bye but I was scared that I'd run into Jake again. I wasn't scared he'd hit me, no, I wouldn't let him but I couldn't take my heart breaking anymore. Every time I saw him, I felt like a failure, a rejection, and it hurt so much." I was in full sobbing mood. Damn it! I cursed myself. I needed to clean my face so no one would suspect anything.

"What happened next?" Emily asked, stroking my hair with her fingers.

"I stayed with my friend Taylor for a year. During the first month we made a nursery in the basement for my baby. We were so excited." The wounds I tried so hard to close were widening and pain shook my body, or maybe that was just my hard sobs. "After two months we went to see a movie premiere and on our way back were hit by a drunk driver. Taylor and I were shoved into a ditch and the car rolled over a few times but other than a few scratches, we thought we were okay. While at the hospital, I was taken to a certain room away from Taylor because of extra bleeding and they needed to examine me. Turns out my stomach had taken a tough blow and-." I stopped and shook harder. I knew it would be too difficult to talk about. Emily continued to silently comfort me.

"I went into a deep depression and distracted myself with college. I took extra classes and preoccupied myself with homework. I was discovered by Charlotte, my boss, who hired me to work for a special unit that specialized in the supernatural because she somehow knew I had experience and knowledge of werewolves from years ago." The door slamming made me jump out of my skin and my heart started racing. Please don't be Jacob, please don't be Jacob. After a minute of suspenseful footsteps climbing up the stairs, Sam's face peered into the room. I furiously ran to the bathroom past him to soak my face with cold water to get rid of the red tint my crying had added to my cheeks. Even after six years, I still remembered where the bathroom was, right next to the master bedroom. I locked the door behind me and turned on the cold sided handle of the nozzle.

I sprayed some of water on my face and took in the coolness as a source of refreshment. I repeated the process until my banes were soaking wet and I had to twist them to seep some water out in tiny droplets. When I looked in the mirror I couldn't look any more of a mess. My hair was wet and pulled back, my face was wet and screwed up my foundation, my mascara -thank the lord- was waterproof but unfortunately my eye liner was not and had smeared in small lines underneath my bag-like eyes. I found a towel hanging on a bar and scrubbed my entire face with it after dipping it in the pool of cool water I left in the sink. Soon after I finished my job the whole towel was the same color as what was left of my foundation with bits of black thanks to my smeared eye liner. At least my face was clear and free of any evidence that may point to my previous sob-fest. I took a deep breath and stepped outside where I instantly met Sam and his bouldering size. I looked up timidly.

"Hello," I stuttered out.

He offered a small smile. "Hi." Emily peeked from behind him and her eyes were full of fear. Mine widened and I looked up once more. "Could we talk?" He asked. I couldn't reply and searched through my mind for a few ideas to possibly maneuver around him.

"Is it about the murders?" His brows squeezed together but gave me no other reply. He wanted to corner me, to interrogate me. He just plainly wanted to feed me to the wolves, no pun intended.

"No."

It wasn't my voice yet it came from my lips. The voice was strong and clear and made myself shake because Sam's once mild eyes began to burn in dark flames.

"Don't back down. Take a step forward and dash right. He won't catch you."

"Look, unless you want to talk about the series of murders and have useful information, I'm not going to waste my time on trivial questions." I took May's advice and dashed right down the stairs. Sam thundered behind me and I found myself past the swinging door

My feet landed on the wet ground when I leaped off the porch and I continued to sprint towards the woods. Sam wasn't far behind me but hey, I ran faster before from angrier werewolves with intent to kill me, it was part of my job! I leapt above ferns and bushed up the incline of the woods where I gained a clear vantage point of the Uley's yard. Sam had taken his first steps into the wooded area and had begun his climb. I was probably 30 feet above him but that was my estimated guess, I took most of my time gaining more height. There was an adrenaline rush I hadn't experienced in a long time and it excited me. I kept my long stride until I reached the very peak of the hill and was staring down a long tumbling way down the other side. I looked back at the way I came up and saw Sam nowhere in sight. I was puzzled and did a full but slow 360. During that moment Sam had surprised me by jumping at my side on top of the hill with. I was alerted by his snarling and long, white, extremely sharp teeth. He shouldn't hurt me, if he assumed I was Jacob's long lost imprint he shouldn't have any intent on hurting me but at that moment I was terrified of what he could possibly do, even if it was accidental. Plus a tempered, fuming werewolves pretty much had no control over what he or she did.

I been in this same situation before, when I was in North Carolina trying to "resolve" a rouge werewolf problem. I was alone, trapped, and with no defense except for a stick. I ended up shoving the stick in the rouge's mouth, resulting in him choking on his own blood after it stabbed his throat. My whole body was covered in blood. I couldn't do the same to Sam, no, leaving me with no defenses at all. What help training did for me, note the sarcasm. Another set of growls came from behind me and I instinctively dove down the steep hill. My possibly tumble was blocked by a furry body and I clung onto the long, russet fur as my life support. The wolf guided me up the hill and let me drop onto the trunk of a tree. I looked up at into big, coal black eyes and realized Jacob himself- in wolf form- had saved me from severely hurting myself. Jacob returned his focus onto Sam and continued to growl. Sam backed off immediately and slunk back down the hill to where Emily was pacing onto the porch. The last wolf left shortly but returned just in time as I was about to leave. Jacob in his shirtless glory stared me down with scared eyes.

"Are you alright?" He persisted, helping me up with his hand clamping down on my already bruised arm pulling me upwards. "Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine," I replied but my voice was hoarse. I coughed to clear it. "Thanks for, um, stopping me from falling." I awkwardly said. Jacob gave me a wistful smile.

He let go of my arm and captured my hand in his. I shivered as a current of electrically pulsed through my arm. He noticed it, too, but kept my hand in his. I tried to revoke it back and he winced every time I did. I guess the rejection stung him, a small amount compared to what I felt so long ago, but it still hurt him, seen in his rueful eyes.

"I can walk down myself," I insisted.

"Fine," he finally let go and I jogged hastily down the hill. I waited for him but I didn't wait long cause he came only seconds behind me. "Let me get a new shirt and we can leave." He sounded anxious and I wondered why. I stayed behind him at a 5 yard distance but did not follow him inside. Good thing I did because minutes later I heard ruckus inside. Emily found refuge outside with me on the porch while yelling continued to increase in volume inside.

"I told you to not push her! Didn't I make that clear?" Jacob shouted. A loud bang from inside made Emily and I cringe but she- being unused to this kind of stuff daily- jumped higher than I did and instantly clung to my side. I was very tempted to burst inside and shove them apart but with Emily quivering under my arm I felt obliged to stay so she could have some comfort.

"Damn it, Jacob! She's here, keep her here!"

"How? By scaring her? I don't think so!" The argument ended there from what I heard. Maybe they said some more stuff but just in whispers. I lead Emily in but she insisted silently with motions I go first and since I didn't want to stress her I did so.

"Hello?" I peeked into the kitchen. Jacob looked fuming while Sam looked straight up pissed. I really didn't want to get in between them. Emily grasped my cardigan and I patted her hand with mine but I kept my eyes on the two. Jacob gave me a hard look but shot back at Sam.

"Don't ruin this for me." He warned Sam. Sam's fist tightened.

"You don't need help in that, you'll screw yourself over. Just wait and see." Jacob picked up his Jacob off the chair behind him and stalked passed us. I gave Emily a small smile and rushed to match his pace. He stomped to his truck and glanced at me. He took his hand off the door handle and stared at me with sad eyes. I couldn't believe how it affected my heart. It was as if it was breaking because he looked so beaten down. I thought he was going to say something but instead he entered the truck and slammed his door extra loudly.

I scurried into the truck and couldn't stop looking at his face. He was so devastated and I made me want to touch him, to comfort him but the same extent of hurt I possessed in the deep pits or my heart and stomach allowed me to resist the urge.

I made my decision though, that the next time he asked if I was really Marisol, I wouldn't say no.


	4. Chapter 4

"I'm sorry about Sam." Jacob apologized. I shook my head.

"It's not your fault. People can be... hasty. Don't worry about it." He signed and I noticed he was doing something with his hands. His fingers twitched every few seconds on the steering wheel and created out of rhythm taps that over time grew annoying. "So where are we headed for breakfast again?"

"At Jeff's Dinner," he reminded me. I nodded. We were on the gravel road again when both Jacob and I spotted an anomaly prancing in the dense forestry.

"Seth," Jacob thought out loud. He halted the truck to stop and we watched the wolf come towards us intently. "Hi," he greeted it while I settled with waving. The tan wolf barked back in response. The wolf gave us some kind of head motion I couldn't distinguish and disappeared into the woods.

"Where is he going?"

"He's going to change into some clothes. He wants to tell me something." And just as Jacob promised, soon Seth stepped out of the wilderness and headed straight to Jake. There was no change whatsoever in this boy's face and it brought an instant grin to my face.

"Where are you going?" Seth asked. His voice was cheerful yet not childish. It was like over the six years his voice had matured and deepened but not dramatically to sound like Jacob's voice. This was the Seth I remember perfectly from when I lived here, the one I deeply missed. He gave me a long, light look and his eyes sparkled.

"Out to eat," Jacob replied with a small grin. You would never have suspected he was pissed a second ago thanks to Sam.

"Can I come?" Seth asked. I started to nod my head enthusiastically but that didn't effect Jake's decision, he didn't even notice me, he was looking at Seth the whole time when he waved him inside the truck. "Thanks Jake!"

"Hi!" Seth greeted me when he got inside and slammed the back door. I smiled back at him. "How have you been?" He asked. He propped his head on his hands when he leaned in between the two upper front seats over the drink holder that luckily was holding no drinks at all.

"Okay, I guess. Sam tried to kill me earlier," I inserted a giggle and leaned closer to Seth. It was usual for me to want to be closer to Seth, he had such a welcoming air about him that I couldn't help but be gravitated to him. Jacob noticed and separated us further by extending his arm and pushing Seth back into his seat. Seth pouted and I laughed at his expression. "That was mean." I told Jacob but for some reason it didn't come out as serious as I wanted it to be. It sounded a lot like teasing and after one look of my face Jacob chuckled and left a permanent smile on his face.

"Did you beat up Sam?" Seth asked, leaning back into the seat and stretching out his arms.

"Nah, Jacob did for me."

"Next time I see him, I'll give him an extra punch, just for you." I smiled sweetly back at him and nodded in approval. The boy was just too sweet.

"Looks like you two have a lot of catching up to do," Jacob commented. He didn't look glum about it, actually he was quite ecstatic. I couldn't place why.

"What do you mean?" I had to continue upholding my alias. I know I promised myself that next time Jake asked who I was I would pretty much give in to the Fact I was Marisol but with Seth present I was hesitant to keep my promise. I couldn't possibly start a scene now with him around. It was something I should be discussing with Jacob alone.

"We know it's you Marisol," both Jake and Seth said simultaneously. I gulped. Was Jacob mad? Did he have a stern look on his face? No and it surprised me. He seemed so calm and enthusiastic and it confused the hell out of me. This is not how I expected he would be when he confronted me about my identity.

Seth laid a hand on my shoulder and grinned. "We would know that face anywhere." He pinched my cheek to add effect. I swapped his hand away and rubbed my now sore cheek.

"Jerks," I mumbled. They laughed and shoved me teasingly.

"Good try though. You're specialty is persistence." Seth inserted and shrugged. Jacob shook his head.

"I'm not mad," he tried to convince me. "I'm just confused on why you would try to hide it from me."

It worked the first year and the year after that. I grew so accustomed to the name it titled itself as my main defense. I was foolish to think it would last long when I came face to face with Jacob in the flesh. I rolled my eyes and officially gave up. The guys took note of my sudden silence and tried to cheer me up but I was too embarrassed to play along.

"Come on! We're not going to gang up on you, we promise! Now let's have fun, hang out together like old times, okay?" Seth attempted to poke my tickle spot but my arm blocked it and I threw him a cold look. He wasn't steered away. Jacob was the next to try and get me out of my sour mood.

"We missed you Merris, please? Don't shut us out." His voice sounded sad and sappy. I sneered but not at him but I guess he watched my expression by my window which had a good reflection because his gentle eyes died to complete sullenness.

"What did you want to tell Jake, Seth?" I diverted the conversation and the guys sighed.

"Oh, I just wanted to sneak in and chat with you." Seth replied and I rolled my eyes.

"I'm here to work. To work and not to chat," I said, looking directly at Jacob. His eyes steered away from me and back onto the road. I changed my direction and narrowed my eyes closer, almost in a glare but not quite as hostile, towards Seth. Seth, unlike Jacob, grinned. He was very much accustomed to my short lived maliciousness. He was always there after Jake did something to piss me off.

"So? You can sneak some fun in there with me," he raised his brow suggestively and I couldn't hold back my grin. Jacob let out a frustrated sigh. I noticed how his knuckles whiten when his fight tightened around the wheel.

"It's going to be tight," I replied, leaning back into my seat, then I heard him boom in laughter. I spun my head around to face him again. He had his eyes squeezed and a hand clutching his abdomen.

"That's...what...she...said!" I could barely make it out but once I put the words together I couldn't stop my own words spurting out my lips.

"Are you freaking serious? What the hell?" This was not the Seth I remembered. This was not the sweet, innocent I knew six years ago. I snapped back at Jacob's direction and growled in his direction. "You did this, didn't you?" Jacob glanced at me with bewildered eyes.

"Do what?"

I left Seth alone to be changed by these guys. The only genuine person left in the pack was formed into one of them. "Never mind," I muttered when Jacob's gaze made me uncomfortable. I turned away and focused my attention back to outside. The trees passed by faster than I remembered and I found myself hit by a distant memory.

"Where are you taking me?" My old self asked. Jacob shook his head and patted my leg. I pouted.

"You'll see," he grinned and I bit my lips. I had the compelling urge to spring and attack his lips with my own but since we were driving I couldn't risk having him possibly crash his car. He'd be devastated if his Rabbit was even slightly damaged, especially because he had just finished the car. It was his pride and joy.

"Not even a hint?"

"Nope," he chuckled and began to rub my knee instead of patting it now. I laid my hand on his and traced circles on it. He squeezed my knee cap and I looked up at him with a wide, white grin. I leaned over and rested my head over his shoulder. He rested his on mine as soon as I did. "You smell good."

I giggled. "You told me that already."

"I know. Are you using a new shampoo?"

"Yes," I didn't admit I couldn't find my old shampoo in the few stores surrounding La Push, even going so far as traveling to Seattle to go my mom's favorite high end Salon. After that hour long trip I decided to use the same brand Leah used because even though it didn't take care of my color treated hair, I could find it close by. I guess that change was the result of me going to back to my natural black color instead of my previous brown highlights that overwhelmed my scalp.

"It's nice."

"Thank you."

The car slowed down and I looked up to see we reached a dead end. I did a scape around the area and wasn't surprised to see we were surrounded by trees. I looked back at Jacob with confused eyes and he offered me reassuring ones as well as a tender smile.

"Trust me," he said in the softest voice. My heart fluttered and I was a slave under his gaze. We exited the car and I followed suit. He took my head and I stepped closer to his side and grabbed hold of his arm with my open arm. I felt my breath hitch as cold consumed by petite and vulnerable body when a strong but relatively short breeze blew at us. Jacob changed his molding and enclosed me with both his arms. I felt safe and secure in his strong hold. He led me slowly down a hill and I couldn't stop squeaking in fright as I slipped each step. He kept his grasp on me and the tinniest slip I had I was retracted back by his arms. I made sure my slim hands were firmly shaped around them in a life-dependent hold. Finally our journey down the hill ended and I couldn't be any more relieved. I jumped into Jacob's arms and giggled.

I was so affectionate back then, I thought. I let out an unintentional sigh. Jacob shot me a worried glance I could see through my window's reflection.

"I wouldn't let you fall, you know that!"

"I know but it's kind of instinctual for humans to be nervous when we 20 feet above our pending death." I let out a nervous laugh when he caught me under a skeptical look. I bit my lip, thinking of a quick reply but my expression must have enlightened him because in that second he pressed his lips to mine. I was instant putty in his hands and deepened our kiss.

"You're too cute," he mumbled into neck and I couldn't help but giggle. I blushed in embarrassment. I was so glad he couldn't see it. "Come on! Let's hurry before the sun goes down." I followed him, my hand locked in his, as we rushed across the landscape. I tried my best to be graceful and slick but even in my tennis shoes I could hardly keep up with him. His long strides were much more efficient than my quick trots. As we came across a clearing I widened my strides because the rocks underneath my feet seemed dangerous, sharp enough to puncture my skin if I were to slip. Jacob guided me in between a huge boulder and a wide tree when we came across the entrance. I was surprised and enchanted by the sight before us.

We were on a cliff that overlooked the ocean but far enough we were still in the wooded area that we were surrounded by dense forestry. It was a breath-taking sight. The sun matched the horizon line and I felt like I couldn't stand. I leaned against the boulder and Jacob joined my side. He kept my hand in his. His body weight leaned closer to me and I cuddled next to him to absorb some of his warmth. "This is beautiful," I mumbled. He pulled me closer by extending his arm over my shoulders, finally releasing my hand.

"It reminded me of you," he mumbled into my hair. I turned my head away from the horizon and into my eyes. Our connection changed when both our eyes closed because within that second, we were in an intense kiss.

I stiffened and cut the memory short. I glanced at Jacob with one question in mind: Why'd you change?

Jeff's Diner didn't change at all. It was still tiny as ever, outdated by fifty years, and had a distinctive grease and steam smell. I gagged when I was hit with warm air as Jacob opened the doors for me. The way I was gagging someone would think I'm hacking up a hairball like cats do. Jacob patted my back roughly. I shot him a dirty look.

They guided me to the corner booth of the restaurant and let me sit in first. I'd hate to include Jacob when I say their gentlemen, certainly Seth was, but both of them were indeed polite enough to step aside to let me in. To my discomfort Jacob took the seat next to me. Damn it, I cursed in my mind. You better not plan something, I mentally hissed, sending my non-vocal message through my slits for eyes aimed right at his face. Jacob noticed my eyes but seemed like he couldn't care less, in fact I think he enjoyed it. Bastard, I cursed again.

"Hi, I'm Katie. What would you like to drink this morning?" Our waitress said. Her heavily black lined eyes were locked on Seth and I couldn't suppress the deep growl vibrating in my throat. Her eyes diverted to my face and I saw they were wide with surprise. Jacob pinched my knee.

"Don't touch me," I hissed at him. For revenge I grabbed his thigh and squeezed with all the strength I could muster. I would grin when I felt his whole body cringe but I was too mad to enjoy it. A moment later I felt his hand swat mine away furiously. I saw his eyes flash with rage but because we had a witness he couldn't say anything. Katie watched us with bewilderment. Seth offered an awkward smile but it didn't relax her nerves, I could tell by the habit of hers of biting her bottom lip and avoiding direct contact with our eyes.

"I'll have a vanilla coffee, please. Would you mind adding whip cream with that, too?" I said first, trying to keep my face polite but my voice couldn't have been more coated with distain. Katie scribbled onto the paper pad in her hands and glanced at Jacob.

"I, uh, same, please." Katie turned to Seth now.

"I'm trying to avoid caffeine. I get shaky when I get too much of it," he said, laughing at the end. Katie was charmed of course by his boyish nature. "I will have orange juice, please. Thanks." Katie giggled when Seth winked at her and my response was rolling my eyes. Seth gave me the "tsk, tsk" motion with his fingers.

Katie prattled away and I was officially stuck with these hooligans for the next half an hour.

"Will the coffee help you get out of your bad mood?" Seth asked, teasing of course but I wasn't in the mood.

"Ouch Marisol," Jacob blurted. I peeked up at him and his dark eyes were vivid. "What the heck? I barely hurt you and you nearly ripped off a chunk of my leg. That was uncalled for." This time I did grin but without humor.

"Who gave you permission to touch my knee?" I retorted. His lips pressed into a firm line.

"Who gave you to the right to almost tear off my skin?"

"Uh," Seth interrupted. "Were you two groping or something?" Jacob and I didn't remove our eyes from each other.

"Yes," Jacob said the same time I said "no." I glared harder.

"If that's the case," I threatened lowly. I lifted my hand and did a squeezing motion, "you won't mind if I 'grope' you again, huh?" Jacob slapped his hand on my wrist and I struggled out of it but with no prevail.

"I'd like to see you try, princess." He said just as coldly as I did. I did a double take at the nickname. He hasn't use that name in the longest time and believe me when I say I hated it with a passion.

"Don't you dare," I used my other hand and grasped it on his wrist. It's ironic how small my hands is, barely having the full circumference of his huge wrist, and yet inflict the damage I did with my nails. I may have possibly ruined my manicure but I went deep enough in his skin to make it bleed. He shook both my hands off and hugged his wrist as if it were a broken limb. A train of curses followed quietly from his mouth. Seth stared at us with concern.

"Damn it Merris that hurt!" He cried out. He covered a napkin on his new wounds. I stared at the significant blood amount smeared on it. Jacob glanced at me with hard eyes and my skin shivered. I was sure it was going to be beyond awkward now.

"Seth, do you want to trade places?" I pleaded. Seth was about to answer but Jacob beat him to it.

"No way," Jacob hissed. I don't know if it was the pain from my punctures or the hit of his ego.

"So," Seth deterred the conversation, "how have you been these last few years?"

Jacob shook his wrist and seemed to have gotten over his minor wounds and stared at me with anxious eyes. I gulped under this gaze. For once I was clueless about what to reply.

"Uh, stayed with a couple of friends," I started. "I graduated from college and-"

Seth interrupted me. "You graduated from High School, too? I mean, you had to! How else would you have gone to college?"

"Yeah," I replied and before he could ask how again, I answered that silent question, too, "under a fake name, of course. How else could I avoid the feds? It's amazing what connections can do. I was able to create a fake profile and transfer my school information on it. I convinced the school officials I was a legit person and was able to graduate as Mary Bowen. I did my classes online for the first two years then after I felt it was safe enough to go out in public." It wouldn't have been that way if my baby survived. I'd probably be in New York taking her or him to school. My smile turned sullen at the thought of this false reality. "I was graduated in honors and then started my first years in Yale in my alibi, still, just to get my general classes over with." Seth sputtered and gaped at me, his mouth ajar.

"Yale?" He whimpered.

I turned smug. "Damn right."

From my side I noted Jacob's eye rolling.

"Always a genius," he muttered.

"It takes one to get away from your cheating ass," I retorted back just as lowly. We were in another glaring competition before Seth broke the ice again.

"So," he said, "I think our drinks are coming." Seth scrambled to skim to the menu again and set it down. "I'm going to get #2, with the triple eggs and bacon and the side of a biscuit." He glanced between me and Jacob

"I'm on a diet," I lied. Jacob's eyes tightened.

"Aren't you skinny enough? Lose any more weight and you could snap in half." Jacob retorted. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm not hungry."

"Eat something," he replied. It didn't sound like a demand but I couldn't describe his voice as soft either. Either way, it was a command of some sort. Jacob looked over at Seth. "I'll have the usual. Bacon, scrambled eggs, sausage, and pancakes on the side."

Katie pranced in front of the table again and had her pad and pencil ready. Balance on her hand were two big, steaming mugs that had my mouth watering and a tall glass one filled to the rim with an thick orange substance. She set it down on the table and I took a guess at one of mugs, the one with the mountain of whip cream. "What would you like to eat boys?" I looked at her skeptically. It's as if in 3 minutes she boosted in confidence and turned into a flirty whore. I shook my head to clear my mind of these thoughts. Why should I call girls whores when the chances of her getting with either Jacob or Seth were zero to nonexistent?

"I'll have the number two as always," Seth replied, handing her the menu.

"Same here with extra bacon, sausage and a side of pancakes, too," Katie stared with saucer sized blue eyes and slowly scribbled onto paper.

"What about you?" Katie asked. Her words were coated with sarcasm and I did my best not to give flash my middle finger at her.

"No thanks," I replied just as darkly. She adjusted her banes to cover her left eye so I settled with glaring at the other. That's what she gets for talking to me like that. She fidgeted with her hair tips until she skedaddled away.

"What was all that about?" Seth asked. I shrugged.

"She was being sarcastic with me." I blew at the top of coffee but the steam continued to ascend in full puffs. "I didn't appreciate it."

"And you weren't sarcastic with her back?" Seth shot at me. I grimaced at his frustrated expression. It didn't fit him.

"You're surprised?" Seth rolled his eyes and Jacob chuckled into his mug. I frowned because mine was still too hot to sip.

Then suspiciously Seth grinned back at me. "You're jealous." I gaped.

I pointed to myself. "Me?" Seth nodded. "No, you must be very confused. Why would I be jealous of her over you?" Seth laughed.

"'Cause I'm handsome, young, extremely well built, and you had a crush on me for ages." He added a wink. I stared in shock.

I was quick to defend myself though, "no way honey! I'm sorry to burst your bubble but you're too young for me." Jacob laughed at that one while Seth pouted. "You have to mature a bit before I feel that for you."

Seth glowered at me. "Look at me. Do I look like a boy to you?" Physically he looked like he was just finishing college, around 24, with a Californian face with sharp shape, smiling with flashing white rows of teeth, and a mischievous glint in his eyes. I would put in in the boy next door category. But old memories dismayed this image. I still thought of him as young, innocent, and immature.

"Kind of," I apologetically said. He cursed and I blinked twice, stunned. I was surprised at the changes in character. Before he never swore around me and now he just spat the 'D' word in front of me.

"Come on, at least I'm attractive," he tried again to woo me. I shook my head in dismay.

"So? I'll never see you-" I stopped myself. Minutes before I left to the airport I remembered the kiss Seth and I shared. How could I say I never saw him anything more than a little brother when I clearly recall telling him otherwise? "I think we should have that talk sometime later." I concluded. Seth gave me weary eyes but a minute later nodded. Jacob glanced at both of us with hardened eyes and I knew he wasn't happy about this. He didn't like us keeping something from him.

Jacob spoke up, "any new boyfriends lately?" I almost sputtered out my coffee which had finally cooled off.

"Um, not really," I whispered. I didn't know how to respond and wasn't sure of what to say. Jacob looked relieved. "Work has consumed much of my time so I don't have time to date."

"Good," I heard him mumbled. Both Seth and I looked at him, my face much more intense than his.

How dare he, I screeched in my mind. He had no right to say that. He gave up his relationship rights to me the moment he pursued Bella. My expression turned sour and I felt my stomach swirl. I set down my coffee and leaned away from it as far as I could. Why did my stomach feel so queasy now suddenly?

"What's wrong?" Seth asked.

"I think my baby doesn't like coffee," I pouted, patting my flat stomach. I called my stomach my baby out of habit but I forgot Jacob didn't know that. He choked on his drink and stuttered out words.

"You're pregnant?" he screeched. I covered my face in embarrassment.


	5. Chapter 5

Seth's POV

I think I just imprinted on Marisol.

Years ago I had what you'd call a crush on her. Why wouldn't I? She's beautiful, smart, witty and affectionate. I enjoyed every minute I could with her. Even though I didn't appreciate most of time when Jake sent her my way with his harsh words but I'm glad I could make her laugh afterwards.

It's his fault I fell in love with her.

Over the years he's giving me hell about it. I can't help I cherished the memories of her but I guess he hates being reminded of her because he knows it's his fault she left. His heart broke, sure, but she was in pieces last time I saw her. Purposely just to punish the asshole I would recall that moment in wolf form and watch him cringe. I stopped after Leah broke down, too. I didn't realize she was just as affected as he was. The difference between Leah and Jake though is that I can't stand to watch my sister suffer.

I wouldn't mind if he crippled in excruciating pain. He deserves it.

When she came back I couldn't be happier.

I had caught her sent outside and at first I was confused. I originally thought it was my mind playing a nasty trick on me but I followed it anyways and thank the next world I did. I only saw her back side but I knew that very moment I wasn't dreaming. She was here again!

She wasn't the same girl I remembered from before though. No, she was grown and mature. Her face hardened but it wasn't cold when she acknowledged it was me, it softened and it reminded me a Esme for a second before her child-like smile overwhelmed her beautiful face. I was enchanted and awe-struck.

I never knew she could arouse feelings in me that were so strong.

She was all her own. Her hair was luscious and her skin was as flawless as usual. Her eyes twinkled and her smile was captivating. Her voice was so sweet, too. I just wanted to kiss her right then and there but I couldn't.

I only kissed her once and I ached to kiss her again. Of course Jake was far from happy. The day before he left to pursue her he got a peak too deep into my mind and saw our last moments. Paul, Quil, and Embry had to hold him back. He was screaming profanities at me and I was pressured into leaving the area for a while until things cooled off and Marisol came back to fix it but she never did come back after, she was elusive and Jake was miserable from that point on.

And what sucked the most was he blamed it on me. I didn't even bother arguing back. He wasn't in his right mind. It took a year for the truth to sink into Jake. I wasn't at fault. No way had I driven her away. He did! He drove her away and he hurt her and I made sure to remind him of that every chance I could. He now thinks he can replace her with his werewolf buddy Olivia but we all know she's not Marisol. She may be outspoken but nothing out of her mouth is smart.

As soon as Marisol steps into La Push he's can't think of anything or anyone else except her and it infuriates me!

It eases me a bit to see how much she hates him. Every time she looks at him her eyes burn with damning fire. When she looks at me she mellows, her eyes sparkles, and she gives me that breath taking smile. Just shows she favors me than him and he won't say out loud how that agitates him.

"We're not here to play games," she told us. We were making a visit to a house an hour away from La Push to check out a guy named Henry or something who witness the werewolves that were attacking people. Jake tried to stay close to her on the inclined path but she always veered away from him. She would hurry her pace and I would fill in the gap between him and her. Jake growled behind us and we both shot him a dirty look but hers by far was more murderous. He had no right to be possessive of her.

I also noticed she had a very distinctive strut. I'm a guy, what can I say? It's not that bad of a thing to admire her assets! In this case she has a very firm butt but I have to admit my favorite physical feature of her (excluding her gorgeous face) was her legs. Long and slim. Just like her waist. In fact she was very skinny to the point I was concerned. She could weigh no bigger than a hundred pounds but then again she's a small girl- compared to us at least.

She stops and catches my stare and shakes her head in disapproval. She still thinks I'm an innocent boy but she'll learn quickly I'm not that boy anymore. I need to prove that her friendly feelings towards me could improve to something more. I want her to feel comfortable kissing me and maybe in the future she and I could share a bed.

She deserves to feel loved. I feel more than willing to return the affection she gave me, especially in a deeper form.

Jake passes me and stands beside Merris with stern eyes at me. He knows what I'm thinking because I've felt this way about Marisol for a long time. He and I agreed we're both in love with her but I'd never think the day we'd compete for her would be this soon.

"Personal space Jacob," she warned him. Her voice was so venomous I even felt my skin burn. She is absolutely revolted by him and that makes me grin. I have the upper advantage and he glares at me because he knows that, too.

He doesn't step aside though and crosses his arm. She mimics this gesture and raises her brow. I smirk. She was definitely sexy and the sassy aura around her accented this. Jake's eyes darkened and my smirk dropped when I recognized the black glint in his eyes for lust.

Damn it.

"Back off Jake," I vocalized but his eyes didn't leave her face and something stirred in my stomach. Merris narrowed hers and though the beauty still remained the gentleness left no traces on her face. Her lips curled upwards in a snarl and I swore her eyes tinted yellow but that could just be the effects of the sunlight. I made my way with caution to them and I noted the surprised expression of Jake's face.

"Let's go Bunny," I suggested with a light shove. She uncrossed her arms and stepped closer to my side and matched my pace. Jake seemed to go the opposite direction to clear his head like he usually does.

After a moment of silence she spoke. Her face was upwards, looking up at me with the heart stopping grin for lips and her does like eyes sparkling.

"Are you serious Seth? Did you call me Bunny?" She asked with a laugh. I shrugged and made a risky move of putting my arm over her shoulder. She didn't mind it and snuggled closer to me.

"You didn't mind it when we hung out." She chuckled and poked my ribs.

I could get used to this. No problem.

"Because I thought it was cute! By the way, how did you come up with Bunny anyways?" I felt the air shift and an uneasy feeling traveled up my spine. Jake shifted into the wolf and at any moment he'd be right behind with razor sharp teeth ready to tear open my shoulder and what other body parts he felt he could do major damage to, anything to take his pain out on. Well that's what I feared but I doubted he would do that with Marisol around.

"You had this expression on your face that reminded me of a rabbit. You were adorable, gentle, innocent and lovable." Marisol ducked her head to hide her blush. "Now I'm considering of changing it to kitty," she gaped at me but couldn't hold back a giggle. "You have this dangerous don't-mess-with-me-or-else-get-scratched thing going on." She dropped her head back and let out a heart-warming laugh.

"Sure Seth," she patted my chest and her smile dropped when she felt my muscles again. Her eyes widened and she laid both hands on my chest. "Yikes!" She squeaked. "That's a lot of muscle." Her voice was barely above a whisper and I couldn't stop grinning. No doubt I had impressed her with my body maybe now she would consider me as boyfriend material, perhaps even husband (if Jake would let me live to make my own wedding.) She looked up at me and tilted her head and her grin came back. "You could challenge Jake with these," she motioned to my muscles and I grinned even wider, so much it started to hurt my mouth.

"I try," I joked.

Suddenly a shuffling noise distracted us and we turned around to find an older man with a gun aimed in his shaky hands. I protectively shoved Marisol behind me and glowered at him. Who the hell did he think he was? He sure was crazy walking around with gun, especially when he's threatening Marisol with it.

Marisol's delicate fingers pushed my arm down with questionable strength I didn't know she had. She escaped my shadow and greeted the weary old man.

"Mr. Wilkinson?" She asked. He looked her over with dull blue eyes and lowered the muzzle of his gun.

"Are you Ms. Bowen? The one I talked to over the phone?"

She nodded her head and extended her arm. He hesitantly shook her hand but she didn't mind that. I personally thought it was rude of him.

"This is my companion, Seth," she introduced me. I gave a blunt nod and glanced to my left for Jacob who I heard trotting a few years away.

"Hello sir," he greeted me. I didn't bother replying I was too worried about Jake revealing himself. It wasn't the right time. The poor man would have a heart attack!

"Why, you look a lot younger than I would have thought you would be. How old are you exactly?"

"I'm twenty-two."

His eyes widened and jerked back in surprise. "How on earth are you sorted with werewolves? You're too little, lady!" She chuckled and shrugged.

"Can we go inside? It's a little cold out here." She politely asked. I immediately ignored the threat of Jake and rushed to her side to drop my sweatshirt over her shoulders. She looked up at me with appreciative eyes.

The man squinted at me and then grinned. I hung my arm around her shoulders to bring her closer to my body and offer as much protection I could, from either an angry, approaching Jake as well as the bitter cold. I don't know why she thought she could get away with wearing a cardigan in this weather but then again she never was fully used to the weather here. Since I knew her, she's always been a California girl. She barely touched snow before she came to La Push!

The walk was quick through the woods and we came upon the man's withering porch. He opened the door first and let us pass him before following us inside the house.

"Where's Jake?" Marisol asked me quietly when we made ourselves comfortable on his faded, worn couch.

"Cooling off," I suggested. "I can smell him outside. I guess he's watching us from the sidelines." Marisol shrugged and leaned closer to my body.

The man came back into the small living room and offered us two steaming cups of coffee. I gratefully sipped it and nearly spit it out. I tried to cover up my sour expression the best I could and the man didn't notice. I set the cup down onto the tray and gave Marisol a look when she enjoyed her cup. How can she like black coffee? That stuff is nasty!

"Can I call you Henry?" She asked him first. Henry nodded and leaned back into his recliner chair. "What can you tell us about Thomas?"

Henry's eyes dimmed and I felt sorry for the old sap. He looked really sad.

"I didn't know him too well. He came to visit this summer to get some space from his step-father and would lock himself up in his room most of the time. I don't think he liked it here at all but it was better than New Mexico with his step-father. He would go hiking some times during dry days and sketch the scenery. He wanted to be an artist and if he enjoyed anything here, it would be the scenery."

"What happened on the day he disappeared?" Marisol asked.

"He went outside after hearing a coyote and I thought he wandered too far but would come back. I waited an hour and then I started calling out his name. I had the sheriff gather a search party but no found anything of his. The only carcass they found was a deer and an opossums."

"And when did this happen exactly?"

"Around six months ago."

"And why did you assume it was a werewolf that attacked your grandson?"

"He comes around here to check on me." Marisol's brows furrowed together. "I see him outside the fence, just staring at me. At first I thought he was just a rare, oversized wolf but he was intelligent, too intelligent. He would wait for me to come outside on the porch some morning at the same time, like he knows my routine. I wasn't scared because none of my animals have been hurt, not sense he's been around. He acts like my guardian. One day I joked with him, still thinking it's just an animal, about my house and then he barks back! Like he was laughing with me! I tried to invite him inside my yard but he's kind of shy. It didn't occur to me he was actually embarrassed until I offered him a quilt from him bed one cold night. He loved that thing! He never let it go. I found him lying on my porch one morning, sleeping on it like a pillow."

"So you've been talking to him?" Marisol asked, bewildered like me.

"Of course, I can't kick out my own grandson because of what he became! I love him to death."

I smiled glumly to myself. If only my dad had been that understanding. The first time I phased he had a heart attack and died. I was kind of jealous of this Thomas kid because he had Henry. I still wish I had my dad would have been around. Maybe then our family wouldn't be as much as a mess then.

With Leah barely visiting, thinking so badly of the reservation as if it burned her. My mom dating and possibly marrying Charlie… I looked at Marisol with the most petrified expression that could ever be worn. What the hell would she do if she found out Bella visited our house? How would she react if she learned Jacob actually allowed Bella onto the reservation? That she stayed at my house with her dad? I gulped.

Hath no fury like a woman scorned, I remember someone telling me. Maybe it was Edward when he told me why Marisol left and what were the chances of convincing her to come back if we ever found her. The chances were very slim, may I add.

"Little lady, do you really think Thomas could hurt someone?" Henry asked with scrutiny.

She shook her head. "No, no, I don't think he could be the culprit. He was remarkable control from what you've told me. But also I gathered this much about his personality. He's a loner, shy, and doesn't like to stray. He is incapable to expanding out of his comfort zone and definitely wouldn't be able to go through with killing a human, and if he was, he wouldn't live with the guilt to repeat it. Our culprit is a repeat offender with no boundaries and strives for power and an adrenaline rush." Henry smiled knowing his son wasn't considered a suspect. "Next time he visits, can you tell him we'd appreciate some extra insight? We would like so updates." Henry nodded and watched as Marisol got up and headed out the door. "Thank you for your time."

I was anxious to trail her but I was distracted by Henry for a moment. "Young man," he said to me. "She's quite the looker. She's right there and wide open. Just like a doe. Don't let her escape, son. I'd try to jump far away from the friend zone, if I were you." I nodded and ran after her.

She was leaning against the fence staring into the woods. Her hair was loose and waving around and her body seemed fragile and delicate but it would take a lot to sweep her off her feet.

"Marisol, where are we going?" Seth asked from behind. His voice was out of breath but I didn't slow down. I was too upset to stop and try to get control of myself. I needed to get the hell out of here before I loose myself completely. "Marisol!" He tried to grab my shoulder but his hand easily slipped off as the rain pattered down on us.

I felt my throat tightened and I felt a crawling feeling sneak under my skin. My breathing hardened but that wasn't because I was jogging. My bones itched and I felt my spine shift in an odd way.

It wasn't the cold to blame for. That's when I started running like my life depended on it. More like Seth's life did. If he was too close to me, if was saw what could happen, I wouldn't be able to look him in the eye again.

Seth cried my name again behind me, but much to my relief, much farther away. I kept running and hit a few branches on the way. I didn't even feel the gashes on my legs or face. I was too overwhelmed with anxiety and adrenaline.

I came to a point where I couldn't even breathe anymore. I collapsed on the wet ground and curled into a ball, hugging my aching body. I felt my bones shift and my head felt tighter. The pressure was unbearable. I held my head back to release a howl. The pain was overtaking every inch of me and I couldn't hold it back. I thrashed around but that seemed to multiply the sensations. My arms felt they were as if being torn and twisted, same with my legs, when literally they might as well be. Finally when the pain reached its climax, I slowly faded away from my body and seemed to float in empty space until I regained some wet feeling on my hands.

But from that point, I don't remember anything else. I can only guess what happened but even then I still get an uneasy feeling in my stomach. I hated not knowing what I could've done. It was unnerving and scary to think I could've done something in wolf that I would never do as a human. What if I killed someone? What if I injured myself? I was vulnerable and terrified. And even though I'm usually a self-reliant, confident woman, it's understandable to feel insecure and anxious. I could give myself that, at least. It's not easy trying to hold up, especially with all the responsibilities I have to carry. My life is stressful as it is.

Some think it's easy to move on, to get on with your life. Unfortunately that isn't the case. Day after day I have to carry the burden of harsh life lessons, the ones that molded me to be the solitary, closed-up person I am. I'm unable to trust anybody or let them in my head, simply because I'm scared if they know too much I'll get hurt or taken advantage of again. I can't remember good memories without the bad ones that come after them. I can't cover those ugly moments, no matter how heavy they are. Trust me, if I could toss them aside, I would. I would be more than happy to hide them away and vow to never visit them again but then I'd be empty, without anything. I have nothing of the past but those. Their painful but each sting pushes me further in life. Without those reminders, I'd be nowhere, lost, perhaps dead, too.

But the small stuff helps. Relaxing in silence, a cloudless night with a galore of stars for me to gaze up, a cold but refreshing breeze to tickle my skin, any kind of gentle touch really, to remind me that life can be comforting, that not everything and everyone is harsh and out of bury me in the ground. A soft bed to sink into and a blanket to protect and warm me, the smell of hot food to welcome me and give me motivation to wake up for the day, and loud music to shut out all the other noise of the world. It would be my own haven.

Just as I described, I welcomed the warmth of a blanket and nestled deeper into a pillow. I don't know how I got there, the thought never occurred to me. Instead I was content in the moment, not bothering wondering what time it was or if I should be concerned with what could be happening with my fellow co-workers. I was being selfish, I guess, but I could care less. I just wanted to absorb what I could of this serenity. God knows when I would experience it again.

"How could this happen?" A man shouted nearby. I tried to shrug it off and pull the covers higher over my body. "I should've known!"

"Shut up," a woman hissed quietly. "You'll wake her up."

"Look," another new voice inserted. "It isn't my story to tell. If she wants to tell you, she will, give her time. It's not like we want to brag about how we were bitten by a werewolf." I recognized it as Tony's and I grew tense. I didn't know if I should get up and grovel or hope he'll let this pass and let me sleep in a little more.

"How could you let that happen? Why didn't you protect her?" The first voice shouted again.

"Why didn't you protect her?" The woman directed at the shouter and then the hallway grew deathly quiet.

"Don't go there, Blonde." He growled. "This doesn't involve you."

"Oh the hell it does. I care for her, I adore her. I treated her better than you ever did!"

My muscles tensed as I predicted a fight would erupt but thankfully Tony intervened.

"Please, you can settle this somewhere else at a different time. Let's not disturb Mary, okay? She needs all the rest she can get."

"Marisol," both the woman and man corrected at the same time. I flinched at their hostility.

"Mary or Marisol, she's the same person."

"What did Carlisle say about her injuries?" The woman asked.

"He said she'll heal but it'll take time. The bites are pretty deep and there's a high chance of some scarring. Let's hope she won't get too upset about it."

I was frightened to open my eyes and see the damage. Throughout the years I managed to get by with just scraps and cuts and maybe the occasional bite but all in places I could cover and wait to heal until my skin looked un-penetrated. I didn't want to see and discover my revealed gashes and bites. My worst fear is that I would end up like Emily and be seen as a cringe-worthy attraction.

It was silent for a while before a squeak of a door caught my attention. I kept my eyes closed and held the blanket tighter around me.

"Merris," the man whispered, "are you awake?"

Again, I pretended to be asleep. He felt the bed sink on my back side and I felt his figure lean over my covered body. His large hands rubbed against my back and I'll admit it felt good. I didn't let him know that though and kept still.

"I…I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." He whimpered. His full body weight collapsed on that side of the bed and his arm dropped over my waist. That wasn't something I comfortable with.

It was a while since I welcomed a man's touch, about the last time Jacob and I shared a bed but since then I can't help but feel trapped, vulnerable, and small. I didn't like feeling so defenseless. That's why I resisted any kind of touch from anybody else. I didn't want to fall into their arms and then only end up on the ground, used and dirty.

"I guess that's what I've been only doing." He sighed and started to play with my loose hair. "I don't know why I ever let you go. I… I tried so hard to find you. I know it would've been hard if I did anyways. To convince you to give me a second chance for me to prove I could be the man for you but you disappeared. That was my punishment, huh? I deserved it. I didn't treat you well and I shouldn't have what I can't respect."

"Damn right," the woman intercepted. I felt him stiffen and turn his head to face away from me.

"What do you want?" He growled lowly and I cringed at the ferocity he possessed. I felt unsafe next to him. He immediately dropped his tone and loosened his muscles when he felt my shiver, as if he knew I didn't like it.

"You think an apology will fix this? Do you think she's going to take you back?"

"It's been six years," he retorted.

"She's been through more than you thought. She suffered more than one heart break, one loss, and a home." My heart panicked as I thought she would begin to tell my life story, the one I dreadfully tried to bury with my unspoken past. "She could have been happy. She could have a sense of home, a child to care for, and feel loved by someone at least. She would feel wanted, honored, and…" Her voice cracked and I was confused why she was close to crying when it was my story, my life, me she was talking about.

"You ruined everything for her. You chased her out of her own home and forced her out on the streets! You didn't give her time to get back on her feet! You know what sickens me to most? You still took advantage of her, used her, until she was nothing but a shadow. When you look at her, do you see our Marisol? Do you see her rosy cheeks? No because their sunken in. Have you heard her laugh or smile or even make a joke since she came here? She's practically dead, damn it. I want my Marisol back!"

"I do, too!" He shouted back

"You are the most selfish being I have ever met. Explain to me why you deserve her back, enlighten me." Her sarcasm was loud and clear.

He was speechless for a moment but his voice came back.

"Because she's my imprint," he vocalized.

"Why didn't you think of this when she was still here? If I recall, her imprint status didn't matter because you wanted Bella. Now that Bella is married and out of reach, you going back to her? It's insulting, really, that she's regarded as a safety net. I bet you won't fight for her like you did for Bella. I'm glad she hates you. I hope you suffer but it still won't compare to her pain. You've taken so much from her."

"I know, okay?" He yelled. "I was blinded by love."

"And you didn't love Merris? That hasn't changed. You're just desperate which is odd because you already have a girlfriend, too. You plan on dragging Olivia along for the ride?"

"Would you both shut up?" Another voice entered and I was thankful it belonged to Anna. I heard her footsteps walked along my side of the bed and suddenly the man's eight was shoved aside and off of me. "She doesn't like being hugged so get your arms off of her." He growled in response but a slapping sound cut him off. "Get out now, both of you."

The door slammed shortly after and I slowly lifted my eye lids to look up at Anna's face. It was wet and I would've asked why but she asked a question first.

"Sweetie," she cooed, gliding a finger down my cheek. "Are you alright? I heard shouting and I knew it was getting to a point where someone needed to kick those two out." I nodded and offered a weak, thankful smile. "You must be worn out. Is there anything you want? Mrs. Cullen has some food downstairs if you'd like some." I shook my head. "Do you want something to drink, instead? You must be parched!"

"Some ice cold water sounds nice," I croaked. I clasped my hand around my neck as if to contain the wave of pain coming from it but to no avail. Anna pushed back my banes and gave a grim smile.

"Alright, I'll be right back." I didn't turn my head to watch her leave. I just listened to her footsteps and heard the click of the door closing, leaving me alone, contemplating on how I should respond to the situation.

I slid my legs off the edge of the bed and peeled off my covers. I was surprised to see my body was fully clothed in Victoria Secret long pajama pants and an oversized men's tee shirt. It smelled sweet and I assumed it belong to one of the Cullen's, probably Edward because it wasn't big enough to fit Emmett but not thin enough to work for Jasper. I forced myself to stand and had to grab onto the nightstand for support because my legs were weak and shaking uncontrollably. After a minute I could walk and went straight towards the mirror at the end of the room and prepared myself for what to come.

At first, I looked normal. My face was untouched and even though my hair was bent, crimped, and tangled I looked fine. I turned around and still saw nothing wrong but then a sting in my legs made me lift my left pant leg and slowly unraveled a long trail of stitches making their way up my back thigh. I didn't make a sound for the first minute as reality set it and then I couldn't handle it. I covered my mouth to muffle the sound but I still opened my mouth to let out a series of cries and curses.


	6. Chapter 6

"Damn it," I screeched. "Damn it! Damn it! Damn it all!" I couldn't contain all my frustration and punched the bed frame I was leaning against. During the setting of reality, I had sunken to the floor and had raised my knees so I could rest my chin on them.

The door rammed open and rushed in Anna with a half-full glass of water, followed by Rosalie and Tony.

"What's wrong?" They all cried and out of blind rage I glared at them.

"What's wrong? I look like fucking Frankenstein! Who did this? Tell me!"

Rosalie's golden eyes softened while Anna and Tony exchanged hesitant expressions. I knew they weary because they didn't want to set something off again and risk me having another "wolf moment."

"Rose? You would tell me, wouldn't you?"

Rosalie nodded and opened her mouth to say something but Tony butted in.

"We don't want you to get overwhelmed. Let's just cool down and settle down. You're already anxious as it." I glared at him and forced myself up.

"I'm going downstairs," I announced and walked past them and into the hallway where I was greeted by the sweet aroma of rain and at the same time, fresh fruit. I ignored the other sickly sweet scents fogging up every corridor of this house and focused on those two scents alone.

"Hello Esme," I greeted Mrs. Cullen when I stepped onto the carpet of the main floor. She stepped out of the kitchen and engulfed me in a hug. Carlisle gently pulled her away and we both gave him a puzzled look.

"I'm not certain about how she's healing so let's not take a risk on injuring her. She could be weaker than she lets on," he explained to Esme and then looked at me. "How are you feeling? Any pains?"

"Only in my stomach," I joked, motioning towards the wonderful display on food waiting for me on the countertop. Carlisle patted my back and led to one of the island chairs and offered me a plate with a variety of fruit.

"You should eat light for now until your whole body settles. Right now it's in the process of returning to its human state." I complied without complaint and popped a strawberry in my mouth. It was delicious and was followed by another one. "Are you sure you don't have any pains? No aches or irritation? Anything we can adjust for you?"

I waved him off. "No, seriously, I'm fine. I'm a little sore but that's expected. Nothing a good night's rest can't fix." Not that I would get any, I assumed. I probably would get only 6 hours of sleep before I had to be back in the field. Charlotte was a firm believer in 'what can't kill you can only make you stronger,' as sucky as it sounded.

"About that," Carlisle began as I swallowed a grape. I contorted my face as its sour taste. "I would suggest you stay here in the guest room so I could check up on you but seeing I'll be at the hospital mostly I can't offer the hourly care. Esme could tend to you, sure, but not to the extent you need. You need to medically certified person to care for you, especially with those stitches." He paused and I raised a brow.

"Just spit it out, Carlisle. It's not like I'm going to scratch you," I teased.

He laughed awkwardly and that started a nervous pulse throughout my system. "It's not me I'm worried about. Uh, promise me you'll just hear me out, okay?"

I nodded slowly and popped in another grape, this time a purple one so it was actually sweet and not sour.

"You give everyone a fair chance and you don't exclude anyone to that rule. Seeing as you never met her, you shouldn't shove her or the general idea aside."

"Met who?" I pushed. Carlisle ran his hand through his hair and sighed. He looked really nervous and it was setting a domino effect at me.

"Olivia. She's a registered nurse and she'd be more than happy to tend to you for a few days. She's actually very nice. A little shy, yes, but you'll like her."

He was holding key information unsaid, otherwise why else would he be nervous over a "gentle and kind" girl like Olivia? Now that he mentioned her, she did sound familiar but I can't remember from where.

"What's the catch?" I pressed.

"She's Jacob's girlfriend," he admitted.

It took a minute for it to set it and when it did I immediately shook my head furiously.

"No, no, and no. That was too close to comfort, way over bounds. I can't cross those boundaries, Carlisle. It is tough enough I have to deal with Jacob in this case but to cohort with his girlfriend? No, I can't do it. Jake and I have to respect each other's space and I won't allow myself to get that deep into his life. Plus I bet she'll feel just as awkward as I would."

Carlisle shook his head. "I knew you'd feel that way but it won't be that bad. After she checks on you every once in a while you can give each other your respectable space. You need someone to manage your injuries."

"I won't have time," I argued. "I have to work because of the tight schedule and I don't want to slack off."

"Actually," Tony intercepted suddenly. I glanced behind him and saw he was holding up a phone and extended it to me. "Charlotte thinks you can use the fresh air. Here, talk to her." I gave him a pointed look and picked up the phone to hold up to me ear.

"You can do some side work, mainly the paper work so when we're done we won't have to spend any more time on this back on base." I raised a brow at this and waited her to say something else. She couldn't be this chill with this. With what has happened these past two days, I bet I'm top on her shit list.

"What's the catch?" I forced out. My heart was speeding up. I was scared of what she was planning to do with me. Please don't fire me, please don't fire me. I was thinking non-stop.

"I realized at this is a hard slap in the face for you and I should be more patient with your dilemma so I'm allowing you to take a rest. You need time to settle and collect your thoughts. No catch."

"I don't believe you," I retorted. "There is no way you can be fine with this. You have a firm stance-"

She interrupted me. "It's either this or I send your ass back to Florida in suspension."

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "That was the attitude I was expecting. Alright, is that all?"

"Just pack what you need and you'll be dropped off later tonight."

"Wait, where?"

"I'll let Tony explain that to you. I don't have time to listen to a hissy fit." Then she hung up, leaving me speechless and a little offended. Did she expect me to be automatically dramatic or was there a reason I would be upset? I looked at Tony when I handed him back his Blackberry.

"Why would I have a hissy fit, Tony?" I asked, giving him a pointed look. I knew he heard our conversation because he had very fine hearing like mine. I wasn't the only one who got infected on the job, if you catch my drift.

He bit his bottom lip and suddenly Anna was behind him, fumbling around with her fingers. I gave them a pointed and stood up which made them flinch, as if expecting I'd hit them.

"While you were resting we consulted Charlotte about what to do. You're not in the best conditions to be out in the fields so we were wondering where you would stay while…" Tony trailed off and I snapped in front of his face to get his attention from the floor and back to me. "No offence to the Cullen's, we don't feel particular okay with you staying here. Their nature is unpredictable and it would just be more strategic if you were closer to the pack, our allies."

I gaped and furiously nodded at where this conversation was going.

"And since Olivia can easily stay at Jacob's for a while, we'd thought it would be convenient for both parties. You'd be safely tucked away under the protection of the wolves' territory so we don't have to worry about a mishap."

That's when a nerve snapped in me. "No way in hell am I going to be stranded anywhere near him. You've seen how we've gotten along!" I would've said more but a hand on my shoulder diverted my anger.

"Merris," Carlisle tried to sooth me but when he saw how my eyes diluted back to black he stepped back. I was a sensitive missile, one move and I would be set off.

"The Cullen's are amazing people. They have better control than anyone I ever met, way better than any vampire we could've encountered! They never hurt me once and I'm sure they couldn't hurt me now. Werewolves can go off like that," I demonstrated with a snap. "They go feral for a while once they phase. Carlisle and the other Cullen's are always aware of what they're doing. I feel so much comfortable with them than I do with Jake!"

"Mary," Tony commanded and I went rigid. "Calm down, breathe." When I refused he forced me out the door and onto the porch. The cold struck me fiercely and I moved away from it the best I could but my attempt was in vain.

"Look at me," he commanded again and when I stared angrily at his icy blue eyes something shivered down my spine and a calm wave traveled down to my feet. I was no longer stiff as my anger just evaporated. "I know you and Jacob don't get along. I don't know why you two are at such odds, I've only heard snippets of your previous situation with him from various people, all one sided, so I won't take them into consideration. I honestly believe he brings the worst in you but Charlotte thinks it's not as severe as it really is and believes the faster you work out you two's differences, then we can continue with our investigation smoothly."

He let go of my arms that I didn't even know he had a grasp on and leaned with me on the railing.

"I'm sorry she's forcing you into this. I tried to talk her out of it but I didn't want to jeopardize your position at all. Just pull through, okay? If you stay out of there way, they'll stay out of yours. Just call me if you need a distraction, okay?" He said, rubbing my arm.

He kissed my cheek and left me to wallow in my own misfortune alone. I looked out towards the woods and watched the rain assault everything underneath its hard wrath.

A noise caught my attention and watched as a few figures exited the woods and I focused on the tall ones. There were three and I tried to make out distinctive traits but the rain blurred my sight. I could tell they turned their heads towards me and I waved but they started to turn back into the woods when I did.

I sat there for a while, just trying to clear my head but there was too much to contemplate and my stomach wasn't handling this too well. I was about to head inside when I heard a car pull up. I grimaced when I acknowledged the familiar Volvo logo on its front. Two figures exited from the driver and passenger side and I recognized both beautiful brunettes as Bella and Edward. That's when I hightailed out of there and into the house.

I rushed up the stairs and slammed the door behind me and jumped onto the bed where I planted face first into a pillow.

"Well it could've been worse. You could've been stuck with Bella." May suddenly inserted, laughing at the end. I turned to glare at her but she was nowhere in sight. "At least you know Bella."

"I'd rather suffer that than Jacob and Olivia. I don't care if she's 'nice,' I'm screwed."

I felt like a teenager again and not in a good way, seeing as I loathed my teenaged years, not that they even counted as a teenage experience. I grew up too soon, I thought in disdain.

All day I've been cooped up in this room and I can't help but feel a sense of déjà vu. Of course, I'd rather stay up here than cohort with Jacob and his girlfriend so it was my choice but still, I can't help but feel restless. I could've ran a while, the idea occurred to me, but it was down pouring.

And as much as I hated sitting around, I hated rain more. I didn't like the cold feeling that came with it and how it wrapped around when you're already uncomfortably with clothes sticking to your skin tightly. I decided against the run simply because I didn't want to put myself in any more frustrating, embarrassing situations.

So to pass time, I've been watching CSI: Miami but there are only so much re-runs you can watch before going crazy. After muting the TV, I chucked the remote at the foot of bed and re-opened my laptop. I had limited amount of work that I filled out already so I had no idea what I was going to do. Deciding I should just check out what Taylor or Kate have been up to so I logged in to Facebook, popping up my iTunes in a different Window.

Taylor was vacationing in Spain with her boyfriend and recently posted a picture of a sunset. A grim smile slid onto my face. I let out a long sigh and my restlessness got the best of me. I swung my legs off the edge of the bed and I forced myself to wander from the warmth of a thick comforter.

I was slow to open the door and when I did, I looked carefully around the pitch black hallway. I didn't want to be ambushed by either Olivia or Jacob. I didn't want to them to get an idea that I was even remotely social. I wanted them to keep their distance. Not that they tried to pry me out.

Olivia was certainly persistent by offering me drinks downstairs now and then but with a blunt no from me, she'll always retreat. I only seen her four times total today, 2 to check my stitches and injuries and the other few times to try to converse with me, most of the time I would systematically nod until she achieved the point that I wasn't in the mood to talk. That's what she thought. I could talk. I just didn't want to talk to her. What was there to chat about? 'Hey, I'm the ex and you're the present girlfriend. How's Jacob been?' Really, what is there to be civil about? I'm not supposed to be barging in on her life and here I was, feeling like the 'other woman.'

Jacob rarely banged on my door. I don't know why he was avoiding me but either way it was less stress on my part.

But sometimes it made me nervous as well. It was a blow to my self-confidence because, for some silly reason, I thought at one point it was because I was a nuisance, and in truth I was, and that I wasn't worth his attention, reminding me of the reason I left here in the first place years ago. The more I thought about it, the shittier I felt. So I did my damnedest to dispel it from my head hours ago. At least I didn't have to worry about running into Jacob.

I trotted down the steps and into the blinding light of the kitchen where thank goodness no one was in. I was quick to skim the refrigerator and snag a red Gatorade. I also plucked a muffin off the counter top and took a quick bite while rushing up the stairs and back into my solitary room.

Jacob Black

"Is Marisol always this way?" Olivia asked.

I shook my head but kept my face hidden under the hood of my truck so she couldn't see my tired expression.

"She isn't?" Olivia's voice softened to a quiet whisper. "Is it because of me?"

I spread my arms over the engine and grasped the metal sides of my trucks exterior. I couldn't answer her question because I wasn't so sure of it myself. I had assumed it was because I had broken her heart but even from what little I have seen of her, I wouldn't believe one heart break could have killed her inside. She was so withdrawn from life, practically a walking zombie, like Bella had been. But there was a difference between the two: Bella was nothing, as if her soul was ripped out of her. With Marisol, she was still there but in choppy pieces. Like Leah had once been, you only saw all of her when she was angry, seething, and full of rage. Everything else in her was shielded and guarded by this very emotion. She wouldn't allow anyone in. A new theory was drawn after what had happened four days ago, when I saw what she had become.

"I think it's me, Liv. You know what happened."

I shuddered at the memory.

"She's gone, Jacob! She's gone!" Seth called out to me. I went stiff and reared around. Why was he in wolf form?

"Marisol Ran off," Seth cried again. That really set me off.

"How the hell did you let her get away?" I was racing towards him, my eyes set in a blind rage. And here Seth was boasting about how she was better with him and yet she runs away from him, too! I should've just watched her myself! I would have never let her leave.

"She was too quick," he frantically exclaimed. I gritted my teeth. Excuses! I screech in my mind. "She went berserk! I don't know what set her off but next thing I know she's making a mad dash in the woods! I tried to catch her but she slipped out of my hands like butter!"

"And why are you telling me this? You should be out chasing her! You're a wolf, damn it, it'll be easy to track her down!"

Seth growled and we came into seeing distance. "That's the thing, Jake. I lost her scent. It disappeared. It mixed into another wolf's scent!"

I went rigid and another sensation took over my body. "Was it familiar?" I dreadfully ask.

"No," Seth shouted.

I gulped and something took over my body. I shot passed him and breezed by the branches, desperate to find her. Please don't let her be dead, please don't let her be another one, I frantically cried out. I know there's been another wolf and what he's done, how he scatters body parts like toys. I shudder at the thought of Marisol being another victim and propelled myself faster along the greenery.

I caught an insignificant whiff of her perfume before a feral, musky scent overwhelmed my nostrils. I stopped dead in my tracks to examine another set of tracks around a trampled clearing. I growled fiercely when struggle was obvious in this scene. I swear if one single drop of Marisol's blood is spilt… I hissed. I scanned the whole clearing and caught the faint whiff of blood but I couldn't locate any on ground or on a branch. I could only assume it was smeared again the wolf's fur when he passed. I went ballistic at that point. How dare he hurt her!

I followed the wolf's scent like a wrecking ball and snarled and snapped, not that it helped much, but I couldn't contain my anger. Once I got my teeth around his neck, I would make sure to rip his head right off, after I break his legs, too. He didn't deserve to be humanly put down like a dog, he was far worse than even a vampire.

My snarls were overmatched by something and when I perked my ears, I recognized them as whines. This being was crying and made me sympathize for the poor creature… until I caught its familiar musky scent. I bared my teeth and crept around a tree and got the clear view of a black shape on the river bank. I was slow to ambush it, quietly stepping over rocks on the steep decline on the way down to the bank. A rock slipped and its head lifted to look behind it, towards me.

Her eyes struck me like lightening. Big, brown and soft, like a child's and they widened more when she took in my size. No doubt I was twice her size. She bolted up and wearily took steps backwards, ready to escape if I got to close. I didn't give her a chance as I leapt from my spot, the height I was at gave me extra yards and because of my size, I brutally collided with her and I knew from the loud crack I had snapped something. She let out a howl of pain as she fell onto the ground.

I took the opportunity of her defenseless state and closed my muzzle around the scruff of her neck. Her fur was thick but I put enough force in my bite that I could taste a metallic substance seep onto my tongue. I tugged harder. My goal was the pull her skin right off but I only succeeded with a mouthful of hair. She let out a heart tugging whine but I was too dead-locked on shutting her up.

I dug my claws into her spine to keep in her place when she began to struggle…

I let out a growl. Olivia laid a comforting hand over my shoulder and rubbed my tense spots.

"It's not your fault, Jake." She tried to convince me but both of us knew it was bullshit.

"I tried to kill her, Liv. That's not at all forgivable." My head collapsed into the palm of my hands. "She has every right to hate me. I've done nothing but hurt her." I all but whispered.

Olivia hugged me from behind. I didn't shrug her off because honestly she was the only thing I had left. She has been since I lost both the love of my life and my best friend. She's the only stability I have left.

"You didn't know it was her, you thought she was the murderous wolf."

"It doesn't matter. I should have never acted like a savage." I shuddered again.

"You were only doing what your instincts told you to do."

"You should've seen her, Liv, when she phased back." I shuddered at a familiar image pixelating in my head. "When I had to carry her to the Cullen's, all I could think about is her blood all over me."

Olivia shook her head. "She's fine now. She's healing perfectly."

I narrowed my eyes at her but I wasn't angry with her. I was furious at myself. "Her eyes were dead. Over and over again I thought that was it, she wouldn't come back, and all because of me. I could've stolen everything from her! I had no right to."

It wasn't so much being a murderer disturbed me, I've faced plenty situations where I had to kill or be killed, but the thought of killing Marisol petrified me. I felt sick inside. I had hurt her enough and then I try to kill her? I did nothing but scar her and she had every right to hate me. The truth stung a lot.

"She'll understand."

"No, she won't. It'll be another reason to detest me and I couldn't bear it…" My heart gave me a sample of the pain that I had expected to come from Marisol's resentment. It squeezed in my chest and I tried to ignore it but the sensations where sharp like quick stabbing motions. I crumbled forward and grabbed the sides of the truck like life support to keep from falling on the ground.

"I could talk to her for you," Liv offered but I shook my head.

"She'll just shut you out. Don't waste your breath. I'll… I'll just… have to talk to her myself… one on one… to get this all resolved." A scowl sketched itself onto my face. Easier said than done, I thought, but we have to do sometime and I wouldn't be a coward.

"Alright, if you need anything, I'm here for you."

"Thank."

Liv left me alone in the garage. As much as I enjoyed some time for myself, this wasn't a particular time I did. I was plagued by thoughts and flashbacks from the day I had carried Marisol's almost-corpse and my heart squeezed painfully some more.

I stared in disbelief, shock submerging my body as I stared at the fragile body in front of me. One minute she's a blur of black and the next, a tiny mass of flesh blanketed with blood. As odious as the scene was, I couldn't look away. It wasn't her bone revealing gashes or red tinted, matted hair but her face, or how bare it was. I was captivated by her wide, childlike fading brown eyes and soft cheekbones, once pink now stung with a cold red. Her face was untouched of teeth marks or claw bearings. As a wolf, she made a point to protect it.

My breath hitched and for a moment, time stopped. I couldn't come to face the awful truth in front of me, Marisol's face joined to a destroyed body. I couldn't move while I comprehended the reality. Not only had I killed someone but Marisol.

I just collapsed onto her savaged body and wept, licking away at her blood but the taste was awful. To think, I had tasted her blood, I was no better than any other monster.

I snapped out of my trance before I could relive the memory further. I slammed the hood of my truck down and wiped my greased hands onto a towel before escaping the gloomy garage. Doesn't matter if it was brightly lit to almost a blinding extent, the empty gray room was way too gloomy still.

I would find myself often down there, preoccupying myself with working on cars. Since my Rabbit was long gone, I've adopted two other vintage cars. One was a vintage Camaro that I found in Seattle and a rusty pick up that I discovered a year before I bought my new Ford. But even then, I don't do that much working on my own cars now that I have my own mechanic shop. It's ironic how a small town has so many cars that need to be fixed. Not that I'm complaining, I make a killing.

I made my way up the stairs only to be welcomed by a blackened living room. I turned the corner into the kitchen and barely saw anything except the silhouette of the island, countertop and table thanks to a small lamp Olivia left on. I opened the fridge and scanned all the items only to shake my head and close it. Usually Olivia only ate her stuff, the organic stuff, so I was far puzzled when my Gatorade was missing. Racking through my brain, I tried to recall where I could've put it but all I remember is putting it next to the orange juice with the rest of the groceries yesterday. Not that I needed it but it still irked me to find it missing.

I also noticed the muffin Olivia bought for Merris was gone and a small smile made its way to my face. I suspected she ate it. At least she wasn't starving herself. She was too skinny and she needed some food ASAP! I don't know if it's because she doesn't have time to eat or she just has low self-esteem and desires to be that skinny.

I picked up an apple and bit it, coming close to its core in one bite, and got lost in thought again.

"You and your boys can talk but Andrea and I will continue surveying. I don't care if you have a problem with us cause guess what, the feelings mutual. Leave us alone and let us do the job we came to do. We have a problem to solve cause you failed to do it before so don't dare blame us, got it?"

Those where the first words Marisol said to me since she came back. I remember being pulled back to when we first met as teens and I couldn't help but compare her voice from those years to now. It was uncanny how little changed, like her face. I couldn't stop staring at her eyes. It didn't occur to me she had insulted me, in fact all I saw was her mouth moving and the general tone of her voice, but I didn't acknowledge the insult. All I was concerned with was her eyes, wide, beautifully lightened brown orbs that glowed like the heavens. Her skin was flawlessly smooth and I resisted cupping her cheeks just to glide my thumb over her perfection. Her lips were curved in a scowl but all I wanted was to kiss them. To forget the present and return to the past, to relive it again, to feel the sparks and warmth I craved so much.

I didn't though because she skipped the chance and bolted off in the woods. I immediately ran for her, I wasn't about to let her leave again, because in one second and with one look, she snatched my heart vulnerably in her hands, just like she always had. But I had startled her and as of a result, she hurt her back.

I was so mad when she did. I was partly at fault but I blamed her for running off, both the first time and at that time, I blamed her for ruining my life, not like I did when I thought she was a nuisance in my mission to convince Bella was better with me, but because in one night Merris disappeared and never gave me a second chance, worst of all she ripped my heart apart doing so. I blamed her for refusing me and until now, I never saw the true extent of damage I had inflicted on her. She fought and struggled against me for the whole time I carried her to my house and despite hearing her rants about how she didn't know me and didn't want to, I was more concerned with her well-being. That's when I felt how truly light she was.

She probably weighed no more than a bundle of sticks and with how thin she was, she certainly felt the part, too.

At that point, I thought everything was looking better. She was here and I had a chance to fix this, to close up all loose ends and start where we left off and look to the future, but since then it's been all down-hill. I'll have to say that day we had our longest conversation and since then she's shut down put herself on heavy duty guard over her emotions. I haven't seen much of her ever since.

I tried to make it up to her over breakfast so we could recap over the years we've missed out on. I wanted so badly to know how's she's been or if she's been doing fine. I've worried about her for years and wondered plenty of times if she was dead, cold or hungry. I only could hope life was treating her well if I couldn't.

She shut me down again but with Seth, I had another chance to see the Marisol I remember again. Only, I forgot Seth wasn't on my side anymore. I was so desperate to get closer to her, I let my enemy screw me over by letting him closer than I was. She, no doubt, adored him and I could tell when her face softened and her smile and dimples appeared on her lovely face, but only for him and I was sour about that. As long as she was happy though and I could see she was still there, hidden but not locked away, she wasn't lost forever and I still had a chance.

But as usual that chance slipped away like water in hands.

All because Seth lost her, too, and I was too hasty in finding her, too blind with anxiety that I mistook a stranger and attacked with no reason and she paid the ultimate price for my brashness.

I'm haunted by those gruesome images. Every night I hold her in my arms like it was actually happening again and watch in agony as her blood just spilled all over the place and know I was the cause of it. They may be just exaggerated dreams but their based on what almost happened to her if I didn't get her to Dr. Cullen in time.

I was so scared of dropping her or breaking one or more of bones by holding her too tight but at the same time, I needed to hurry up or else she would bleed out. I had nothing to cover her or to apply pressure to her injuries with and every passing minute more blood spilled over her bare wounds. I remember watching her head bob and anticipating that her eyes would finally close. I couldn't let that happen.

"Come on, baby, don't die on me. Fight it, fight to live."

But with no movement, I was beginning to think she didn't have any more fight left and it scared me. She could be gone in one moment because of me. I would lose her forever.

I barely reached the border when I met Edward's stone cold glare. He pried her body away from me and ran inside, frantically crying Carlisle's name. I walked slowly behind, feeling Blondie's murderous glare next to Emmett's bouldering figure guarding the door while everyone else bustled inside. They wanted nothing to do with me and I waited on the porch for a prolonged hour, not knowing a damn thing about her status. Was she dead? Was she awake? Was she asking for me?

Psh, as if she would ask for me. After what I did, she was probably terrified of me. She probably thought I was a monster. I could understand perfectly.

"Did you know?"

My head shot up and I met Edward's eyes again but this time they weren't as angry. I thought for a second they even understood my situation but Edward didn't know anything, he was probably judging me for my rash actions and solely blames me for her injuries, which I would, too, if I were in his shoes.

"Don't beat yourself up. I know what happened." Edward tried to comfort me.

"I acted like a complete monster. I hurt her, Edward, I think I killed her." My voice cracked. "Will she be okay?" My heart was sinking before he even replied. I was expecting the worst because of what I saw.

"She'll make it. Carlisle cleaned her up and concluded they were only minor flesh wounds. She'll heal fine." Edward was hesitant at the end and I gave him a pointed look. "She might have some scaring on her legs, they were badly torn but Carlisle did a good job stitching them up." I dropped my head into the palm of my hands and let a betraying tear slip from my eyes. I hurt Merris and now I've scarred her. She was going to hate for me for the rest of her life. Way to leave an impression, I thought cynically, I left enough scars on her heart anyways.

"I don't think she'll even remember it." My head jerked and I gaped at him. How could she not remember it? She was there, conscience, whimpering and crying, experiencing the pain first hand.

Edward sat down next to me and stared me right in the eyes. His eyes were frightened, like mine, but also bewildered. I would be confused, too, with so many new questions yet to be answered. Marisol had changed so much and it seemed like she didn't even exist anymore, like she was a new person and the Marisol I knew was just a shadow.

"Her mind state was feral, Jake. She doesn't know concepts of people or recognize faces or names. She was no more informed than any other regular animal, only bigger in size. Her mind doesn't transition thoughts. Her memory as a wolf is limited and once she shifts back to her human state, her experiences as a wolf are forgotten, abandoned, locked away. Think of it as this way, two different forms, two different beings, two different sets of memories. They may be the same body but she is two different individuals. Kind of like bi-polar syndrome to the extreme."

I could only nod as I slowly absorbed this. I explained how I couldn't have recognized her and how she couldn't have recognized me, or else she would have fought more. Instead she anticipated my attack. She didn't fight it as I would expect any other being would to, as if she accepted it. She accepted death as her fate and it sickened me.

"She's been through a lot," Edward inserted. "More than you could know. She… she left with a big secret, Jake." Edward's face fell and so did my heart. "She had to go through a lot, alone. It's worn her down to a point she has no energy left. I'm not surprised she gave up so easily. Despite being a whole different being as a wolf, she's still the same body and just because she changed forms doesn't mean she can earn strength. She's worn as a human and even weaker as a wolf."

All I could think of is how stressful and scary it must have been for her, to be human one minute and a werewolf the next. She wasn't prepared for this, no matter how long she's hung around us shape shifters and learned how much about us. It can't compare to experience it firsthand. She should've had some guidance, someone to be there and help her make the best of the situation. I should've been there. She shouldn't have had to cope with it alone.

"She ran away because of this?" I had to ask.

With what he said, I couldn't help but suspect this was her big secret. I was so confused though, wouldn't it had been better off to be with a pack who knew more about this than anyone else? Why would she leave to suffer alone? And worse, how could we have not suspected it? I should've seen the signs! I had to protect her and I failed miserably.

Edward shook his head. "No, no. She was human when she left." I looked at him puzzled. "She was bitten far after she left here."

"Then why'd she leave? What was her big secret?"

Edward shook his head. "It's not my place to tell. It's between you and her and I'm not going to be the third party. She'll tell you if she wants to. Not that it matters anymore. It's in the past now."

I glared at him. He can't tell me she left for a reason and not tell me that reason. He shot me a sympathetic look. "I shouldn't have said anything," he apologized. But he should've, I thought. I'm tired of being in the damn dark about this!

"How come you know about it and I don't?" I seethed.

He raised a brow as if it had an obvious answer. He then tapped his head. I rolled my eyes. That's right, he's a mind reader!

"Can you give me a hint, please?" I pleaded.

He shook his head again. "She had tons of reasons to leave, Jacob, her mother was an abusive drunk, her relationship was in a dead end, and surrounded by people against her. She was desperate for solstice and she wasn't going to find it anywhere near here."

None of those sounded like the big, bad secret he described earlier but all of them made me feel just as horrible as the feeling eating away at my conscience. All she wanted was protection and comfort and I denied her that simple thing. At that time, I was young and naïve and thought if I could make life miserable for her, she would want nothing to do with me.

I snapped out of my flashback and tossed the apple into the garbage can.

My plan worked, I thought grimly. Now the tables have turned and when I need Marisol the most. She detests me. Karma was a bigger bitch than Blondie.

I was restless and couldn't decide whether to just go to bed or check on Marisol while making my way up the stairs slowly. Stepping on the final step, I was still indecisive.

Well it was midnight and I betted she was already asleep, so I doubt she would notice if I took a peek inside her room. But there was a chance she wasn't there and I wouldn't be able to live through the panic. I didn't put Merris above running off because of her unpredictable nature, plus I didn't know how strong her other side was and there was a chance it had taken over again. If I walk into another trap, where she's gone mentally and replaced solely on animal instincts, then that was a recipe for a huge disaster.

I shook off those dreadful thoughts and stopped in front of her door. Slowly I turned the knob and extended my neck into the room. It was pitch black except for a dim glow, radiated by her cell phone, on the nightstand. I faintly saw a mount in the middle of the bed and assumed it was her body shape, cocooned in blankets.

My let out a sigh and my paranoia dropped. I felt safe to step inside and I silently closed the door behind me, leaving only a crack open. I was careful not to make sudden movements and instead of risking her feeling my presence by sitting on the bed, I took a safe distance from her sleeping figure by plopping onto the desk chair. I watched for a good while as she slept soundly, peacefully, and comfortably. It was nice to see her relax for once. Every other time I've seen her she's tense and ready to pounce.

It's hard to believe she isn't the Marisol I knew anymore. I didn't want to say she wasn't human because it made me cringe but it was true, she wasn't normal anymore. She was one of us and we both hated it. I never wished this upon her!

Maybe that was why she turned so cold. Her life has always been hard but when someone steals your humanity and you have to flip everything upside down in your life just to adapt, I can see why she's bitter and frustrated. She shouldn't have to suffer like this. Why couldn't she have continued her human life? Who could be so ruthless and cruel that he could steal something as priceless as humanity? She didn't want to be one of us. It scares her, we scare her. She doesn't know what to expect or how to prepare herself. She is so unsure and to protect others, she's shut them out of her life, just like I did when I first phased. Unlike me though, she never accepted her new life. She fought with all her power against her second nature just to be human and its eating her up inside.

Of course, I shouldn't be able to know about her internal conflicts or her life. I've missed so much of it. But I had to know and that's why I sought some answers from Tony. He was hesitant at first but I think we wanted me to be aware of all her issues. He wanted me to be very careful with her and made sure to reason why.

Watching her closely, I recalled our conversation again but under a magnifying class now that I could compare it and Merris together.

"You told me she's always been confident with herself, how bold and brave she was. Mary," I made sure to give him a nasty look when he said her name wrong. He just rolled his eyes. "Or Marisol, we're still talking about the same person here so it doesn't matter what we call her. Anyways the Merris," (he made sure to annunciate her nickname, as if to mock me.) "-the Merris you know was always so sure about herself. She knew what to expect and could prepare for anything. That sounds about right because as soon as she was bitten, her life did a one-eighty. She no longer knew herself or what she could do. She didn't comprehend the changes in her life or understand how to adapt. She gave up trying to adjust to her new body and focused on keeping everything the same but easier said than done. She was always on edge when she visited her friends or around us. She didn't know if she changed or if something would set her off. The pain was unbearable, too. Trust me, I know. It took me a while as well to cope with it. Every ache and sore was on a bigger scale so on a human form, it was three times as aggravating. She could barely stand up straight. But she's resilient and learned to ignore it. I was envious of how easy she could shove the pain aside."

I wasn't surprised at that part. Marisol was great at hiding pain. She wouldn't let it handicap her or hold her back. Her strong will was much greater, or I should say pride.

"I won't say she came to terms with this because she detests it with every fragment in her body but she won't deny it either. She knows this is a part of her but she won't embrace it. She thinks of it as an annoying pinch than a disease. If anyone were to ask her about it, she'll understate it. She'll talk about as if it were a bump. She purposely gives a wrong impression of it just so people won't see her different. Tell me, when you saw her, what did you see? What did you smell?"

I told him the truth. She looked so human, so delicate, and lovely and she smelled of lilacs and lavender. How could she though? I asked him. How could she smell human when she's not? He replied with a proud smile.

"Like I said, she's determined to be majority human and I don't know how but she was able to force her inner wolf into hibernation mode. She's pushed it so far down into the pit of her stomach, it's good as dead. But even the slightest tremor awakens it and the consequences stick for a while. Every time it happens, each reoccurrence, something is left physically behind on her body before it's pushed back under her skin. I've noticed how after every transformation, she gains an inch or two. She grows taller. Her eyes are unsalvageable unfortunately. They lost their original color of brown and tinted blacker. Kind of metaphorical, don't you think? Because she see's things more cynically." I didn't laugh at that one. I threw him another harsh look. I didn't see any humor in her change. Marisol shouldn't be cynical. She is still young and has her whole life ahead of her. She's not supposed to be pessimistic, not at this stage of her life.

"I'm sorry," he apologized but he didn't sound sorry at all. "Think of this like it was cancer. There are a lot of similarities. Each time it reoccurs, it weakens her and takes a long time to recover, or get over it, before she's beaten it and returns to normal but the scars are still there, like surgery scars or internal scars. It leaves sometime behind, so when it reoccurs, it has a jump step and is twice as bad. Again, she beats it but as I said, it tears her down and over time she gives up fighting it and succumbs to it again. The more resistance she puts up, the more stress is placed upon her body, weakening her more. Until it comes to the maximum try and devours her, in this case, her human side. That's why she's so frustrated. She's fighting it while trying to still adapt in small steps while taking all this stress onto her body. In the end, they'll be nothing left of her except for the inner wolf."

Staring at her, I cancelled out the replaying conversation in my head and let out another sad sigh. She shouldn't be like this. She should be happy and lively but instead she's dealing with so much on her own. I wanted nothing more than to hug her, to take this horrendous load off her but she doesn't let me. She rejects me like I'm acid. Not that I blame her anymore, I taught her to hate me because I didn't want to deal with her anymore, just like her mother did. And now, when I realize how important she is to me and desperately try to win her back, she remembers that harsh lesson I regretfully taught her.

I know I should understand her point of view but I can't help but wish she forgive and forget. Yes, that sounded extremely selfish but it was hard on both of us. She needs someone to guide her through this and she's too stubborn to accept the fact that I could help, that she needs the help. She's too bent on the fact I hurt her. Why would I hurt her again? Forgetting the fact I nearly killed her but that was purely accident, if I knew it was her I wouldn't have even approached her. No, it would've been too risky of a situation.

Of course then again, I still gave the impression I was an animal, no pun intended. I shot up from the chair and scurried out the room before I acted upon the urge to comfort her. There was no way it would go smoothly if she was within my reach. She was already paranoid about me anyways and would definitely go on the defensive if I was anywhere near her.

"Jake?"

I nearly jumped out of my skin and spun around the face the door which was pushed further ajar.

"Shh!" I hissed, shooing Olivia out of the door way so I could close the door behind me. "Be careful, you could've woken her up!"

Olivia dropped her eyes and whispered sorry back softly.

My heart was still thumping from the second-lasting fear that it was Marisol who would've woken up. Who knows what she would've said or done! Though I strongly suspected she would have cursed me out. I don't think I could bear anymore rejection. I'd much rather she'd slap me than tell me words instead because the stinging was far less painful. Those insults only verified her resentment towards me and the reminder always brought a stabbing pain onto my heart.

"Is she okay?" Olivia asked. I nodded.

"She's fine," I grumbled, still sore to the fact she wanted nothing to do with me.

Olivia patted my shoulder and leaned against the door. She knew how I felt because she herself was going through it. She handles it better than I do but the pain isn't any less. Being rejected by the one you love tears you apart. You don't know where you stand, feeling lost in confusion and complications, and when you try to fix it, you feel like a failure when you come out empty handed. You eventually give up, like Olivia, and wallow in your own regret, forced to think about what you could've done or shouldn't have done every day, a sadistic reminder. The guilt is unbearable. Olivia is the innocent one here and even then she bears an unfair amount of guilt. She shouldn't deserve it but it's the only thing left to feel other than pure agony. I, on the other hand, have more because I am conscience of the fact I put Marisol through hell and it's twisted to think I still deserve her.

It's not so much I feel I deserve her but more so we need each other. I want nothing more than to take her in my arms and take everything back and I would do anything to prove it but she hasn't given me the chance.

"You should go to sleep, Jake. You need to rest. This whole situation is exhausting for you." Olivia suggested, parting her hand from my shoulder and anxious to head back to her room.

I nodded for her sake and waited for her to leave but she knew me better than that and stayed her ground.

"I'm serious, Jake. This isn't healthy. You need to sleep off the stress before you try to counter the situation, alright? You need a clear mind and that won't happen when you're awake stressing about Merris. You both need some time to yourselves to reconsider this. Who knows, maybe she'll realize the toll resisting this is taking on her and give in. You two are meant for each other, anyways, so it's inevitable but you also need to start thinking of how to approach this, as well. So far you've kept a fair share of space after the incident but it's only going to drift you two further apart so rethink a new strategy. The clearer you're mind, the easier for you to think of one up. So sleep now, Jacob."

I stared at her face and saw a rare glimpse of an old emotion in her eyes, excitement and devotion, something that had been long been pulled out of her strained body. She knew what she was talking about, despite just turning twenty two weeks ago. She had put up a formidable fight for love a long while ago but it's hard to fight for someone who absolutely loathes you.

And the sad fact is she didn't do anything to Seth. He was and still is pinning for Marisol, a dumb childhood crush, and is too blind to see his imprint in front of him. She knew right away when she first saw him but he could only see similarities between her and Marisol. He couldn't see her for her and the fact she lived with me blackened her name. A lot like guilty by association. She was close to me therefore just as awful as me is the way he saw it in his mind. He wanted nothing to do with her. She was assumed my girlfriend when in truth, I see her as a little sister. I just took her under my wing and gave her a shelter when she had nowhere to go.

It was like reliving the whole Bella/I/Marisol triangle all over again. Seth wants Marisol more than anything, blind to the fact he already has the perfect girl for him. Only he isn't aware of what could be romantic feelings for Liv because he's too deep in hatred for her. It's a very devastating situation. Liv only wants for Seth to be happy but when he ignores her for another girl, aka, Merris, she's torn and feels tainted, worthless, useless, etc. As if she's not good enough and starts to question what's wrong with her. It was only a matter of time before she came to terms that it wasn't her fault at all, knowing Seth wasn't over his first love.

Watching Seth walk in my footsteps like that was agonizing. I wanted to warn him to where he was going, how many people would get hurt in his wake. I might not have known Marisol for a while but even with all her changes, I knew she wouldn't support him either. No woman wants to be the other woman. Seth in return would be rejected by her and I knew personally how that feels. Liv would be the obvious victim here. She didn't do anything and let things take its course and in the end she still ends up with the shitty end of the stick. Not only is she preferred as a second option but if Seth were to treat her like a rebound, well if that were to happen, she would be tricked heartbroken.

"Goodnight Jacob," Olivia bid, walking away down the dark hallway and into her room.

If only Seth would've taken notes and learned off of my predicament, maybe at least one of us would get a happy ending.


	7. Chapter 7

Jake's POV Continued.

Within the four days she's been with me, not once had I seen her cry. Sometimes I thought, even hoped she had whenever she want out on her walks, to verify she was indeed in there, that she was capable of feeling something. Even something for me, if that was possible.

"Just sign the damn divorce papers!"

I could tell from outside her door that it was coming from the TV. I knocked on her door lightly but the volume didn't decrease, nor did it increase, as if she didn't acknowledge me. At least she wasn't blocking me out.

I stepped inside, peeking to the left to the bed where she sat on the edge of, cross legged. She turned her head with an indifferent expression on her face. If she were to look at me that way when we first met, I would be ecstatic because that meant more of a chance for me, if we were on an even note. But now, when she gave me that look, it worried me. It meant I still meant nothing to her.

"What are you watching?" I tried to converse with her. She just shrugged.

"Sweet Home Alabama, it's on some random channel."

I wasn't that big on movies and from the short scene I was watching, I knew I wouldn't have like this specific one, something about a pretty blonde arguing with a man in the driveway. He was just smirking at her frustration.

I quickly changed my attention from the small screen back onto Marisol. She had turned her head back around so I was only looking at her hair. It was soft, smooth, and seemed to gleam in a blue tint in the dim light provided by the TV. I wanted so much just to run my hand through it, to curl it around my finger.

She would then look up at me with her wide, adorable oak eyes under her long lashes that gave her that innocent flicker. Her lips would curls up and a small smile would develop, before I cover it with my own set of lips.

I shook my head, as if to shake the short-lived fantasy out of my head. Those were long forgotten, more like forbidden memories. Those were the days we were naïve and didn't care about anything. I was just starting to cope with my new abilities while she had just opened up to me about her home troubles. We were so close and so honest with each other. Our bond was the strongest back then.

I let out a dismayed sigh just thinking about it. It was futile to day dream about it when I was nowhere closer to getting back to that point than I was when I left her to walk home alone in the rain. My heart fell thinking about how that's what she'll always remember me by, that's her last memory of me.

"What's it about?" I asked.

She shrugged again. "I don't know. I missed the beginning. Something about this girl getting married to this rich guy but she needs to divorce her high school sweetheart first."

I only nodded my head, not really interested and I'm sure she knew that by the tone of my voice. I just wanted to hear her voice, civil or not. I'm been sober on it for so long.

"Alright," I stood there awkwardly. I didn't know if I should leave or wait for her to tell me to. I was always hoping that maybe miraculously she'll be generous enough to spare a minute just to talk. It doesn't have to be serious. She and I could talk about the dull weather for all I care. As long as we are together within an arms distance. Maybe it could develop into something more.

Maybe she could be opened to feel the spark, the deep rooted connection that bounded us together in the first place. And when she realizes I'm not the bad guy she won't fight it anymore. But for now I won't force it on her. I need her to trust me willingly, not because it's the only option.

She turned around, stretching out her legs to cross them again, and looked about to stand up but instead she propped her body onto her elbows. Her hair fell off of her shoulders and swung freely under her head. She looked so relaxed, so comfortable and in my presence none the less. That is until she opened her mouth.

"Is that all?"

I gaped for a moments before nodding and struggling to control my feet to get the heck out of there. She always knew how to get me scrambling. If anything, she swept me off of my feet. Was it her freelance, perfect dark locks that gave her that brooding aura, that mysterious edge that kept you on your toes? Or was it her wide, crystal brown eyes that enveloped your heart and ate it whole? Was it her perfectly soft skin with a tint of pink, giving her a baby fresh glow? The more I think about it, her smile was what really hooked me. It brightened her whole face and was so contagious. It had many different versions.

Her smirk displayed her confident side, or snarky side, when she knew she was above you. Or her small smile, showing humble but real feelings that she didn't show to anyone but her real friends, the one that let you know how much she really trust you.

The many memories of her were great ones. Either it was her stroking my hair, hand, or chest laying around my house, just enjoying the comfort of each other's company or her overwhelming personality that reassured me every time. She seemed to have a plan for everything and was so confident in her success.

All I wanted now was her soothing caress. With running the pack for the past 4 years, I've had more than enough experience with handling tough situations. All I wanted when I came home from a long day was a soft wave of affection every once in a while. Watching all the other guys going home to their wives and girlfriends stung, knowing I pushed mine away and would probably never achieve my full happiness like they did.

The door bell ringing brought me back out of my thoughts.

I jogged down the stairway and pulled the door wide open only to regret it because of the face I met.

Her eyes are narrowed into slits and her thin brows were pulled together. Her lips were pressed into a thin line as well, her nose scrunched together. Even in a sour expression, I couldn't deny she looked beautiful like always. Her hair was loose and free to move all around but no wind was helping me as I was forced to stare at her whole angry face.

"Leah," I greeted. I stepped aside as she trudged in, throwing her jacket aside onto the couch.

"Jake," she replied, equally cold.

Things between her and I were beyond awkward. It wasn't because Seth had replaced her as Beta by my choice (that was after the fact) but because she hid someone behind my back. I felt betrayed that she and Marisol talked long after she had vanished. Even if Leah was attending college in Seattle, she was still a part of my pack and to hide Marisol's location from me was unforgivable. She claims it was justified. I beg to differ.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

I assumed it was because she had heard-most likely from Seth- that Merris was here. Of course Leah would come to her "rescue." That's how their relationship went. Whenever I hurt Merris, she'd go to the Clearwater household. Seth was her distraction, Leah was her therapist. Leah knew more about Merris's and my relationship than I even did, with all the secrets Merris kept and what she would spill to Leah about me as some kind of revenge.

Maybe that's why I was so uneasy when she was around. That she had more power and trust with Merris than I ever would.

Of course she would come to Merris's defense.

"Olivia called me over," she bluntly said, pushing past me and up the stairs where Merris stayed.

Nothing that could've possibly come out of her mouth would've shocked me more than what she just said. At first I was in disbelief. I thought she was lying. There was no reason to why Olivia and she would need to talk. In fact, I didn't think they even met each other. Liv came here far after Leah had left for college. And even if there was communication possible, her stance on Liv should've been the same, with everyone else's in La Push. Leah was against me, she would be against anything with me, especially Liv, who was rumored among the reservation to be my girlfriend. Surely she wouldn't stand for that.

Another idea occurred to me just then. If that was so, as late as it was, maybe she came to check Liv out, not even minding Merris? Maybe she wasn't even aware Merris was with us? Ironic the timing was!

No, it was too ironic, it couldn't be. She had to know Merris was here. So maybe Liv was an excuse like I had first expected.

I listened closely to the upper floor where two voices collaborating shocked me.

"Leah," Liv greeted, more welcoming than me.

"Hello Liv," she greeted back in an equal tone.

"I'm glad you could make it," Liv replied. I could almost imagine them embracing. The thought made me shiver. The possibility that Leah could've allied with another close connection of mine scared me. She was closer than I thought.

"Anything to help," Leah insisted. "You should know the truth."

My muscles tensed. Were they talking about me, right? What else would they have to talk about? What else did they have in common? I growled. They had nothing in common and I was the only link connecting the two. Of course it was about me. Why else would Leah be willing to come back here? She wanted nothing more to sabotage me! After all these years, she still hadn't found an adequate way to get even. As if it was her responsibility to exact revenge!

"Let's head outside onto the Balcony. We don't want her to hear." Leah inserted. My brows furrowed in confusion.

Did I just hear that right? Did they talk about her and not him, as in me? Did they mean Merris? Of course they meant Merris. All of the sudden, the plan I thought Leah had to ruin me didn't seem to fit anymore. Why wouldn't they want Merris to hear it? Maybe not risk upsetting her again?

No, if she wanted to talk smack about me, she would get more than enough back up from Merris. Merris had more than a fair share of bad memories of me. Why not just go in the same room as her?

No, they made it clear they didn't want her to hear something, but what? What couldn't Merris know? Wait, was Leah embarrassed to be talking to Liv and didn't want Merris to think she was conspiring against her? Did she not want Merris to be confused? Confused about what?

I dropped my forehead into my palm, my fingers messaging it as a growing ache seeded into my head. I was thinking too much but that uneasy feeling enveloped my back, a slow shiver making its way up my spine.

I was still, unable to decide what to do. I didn't know if I should interrupt them or wait until I know what Leah said. I was aching in anxiety. What was she planning on doing?

I stood up and got out of that house before I drove myself crazy. As soon as I took a moment outside to soak in the chill and clear residing hint of mist that relaxed my muscles and calmed my frenzied nerves. My head still felt heavy but the throbbing seemed to mellow into a small weight in the back of my head.

I focused on the more faint sounds surrounding me, the tiny chirps of birds, the patting of leaves being assaulted by falling drops of water, and the crash of waves against the cliffs in a distance. The cool, mint aroma added more to the hypnotizing setting.

My ears picked up on a nearby conversation. It immediately caught my interesting when not only did I recognize the voices but the subject as well. It was Leah and what she had to say surprised me. My name was the not the one being dissected but instead, a mournful tone slipped onto her voice as she began to introduce Merris.

"I'm telling you this because you can relate to her more than anyone else. She needs an ally."

Leah's Perspective

When I stared at Olivia, all I could see was what Seth was missing. He might not know it but I certainly did. I recognized the look of adoration on her face staring at him. I remember it from a dinner party I had shortly attended. I recall seeing her unfamiliar face in the corner, hiding behind Jacob's towering figure, staring intently on Seth who was telling me something about passing his college exams and becoming an official intern.

I was so interested in her features. Her face was a lot like Merris's, the same shape, same nose, and cheek structure. The only difference was her hair line. Merris had banes that seemed to thin her face while Olivia had pulled her hair back to reveal all. No doubt she was beautiful but something behind her blush told another story. Her smile wasn't as quite as wide as it should be. Her eyes weren't as excited as I would've hoped.

When I asked my brother who was she, his whole face scrunched together in a sour mask. He only said that she was Jake's girlfriend but I knew differently. She wouldn't look so sad if she was happy with Jake. She wouldn't look so lost. I got a hint why when her eyes flicked back to Seth from the crowd. I saw such deep longing in them that my heart swelled. I knew instantly that she didn't belong to Jake.

I had that same look a long time ago and I knew what she was feeling at that moment.

Unfortunately I was unable to console her myself. I had more own troubles when both Sam and his new wife rounded the corner and Jake shot me that warning glare that obviously said get-the-hell-out-of-my-house. I couldn't help her because I was still trapped in unhappiness myself.

Unlike her, I had an escape. College gave me something to work on and I excelled at it. Poor Olivia was tormented, trapped in an unhappy life, reminded everyday of what could be but wasn't. Not long ago was I in her same shoes.

So when she called me up, I took the opportunity to aid her the best way I could.

"I'm glad you could make it," she told me upstairs. Only hours ago she had pleaded with me and now her voice was replace by pure appreciation. Never in a while had I felt useful like that. It warmed my heart.

"Anything to help," I insisted. "You should know the truth."

And she did. All she wanted was to help and she needed somewhere to start. I understood where she coming from. With Marisol shutting everyone out, someone had to explain to her how severe her status was. Hopefully Merris will see that I only did this for the long run and how much she would gain from it.

Olivia was the most sincere person I can think of right off the bat, second after Merris. The only difference is that Merris was brutally honest while Olivia was just more kind hearted.

"Let's head outside onto the Balcony. We don't want her to hear," I added, the distance noise of a TV reminding me of her closeness.

We made sure the close the door tightly behind us, aware Jacob might follow us. He's always been suspicious of me and no doubt he'd think I'm trying to make Olivia turn on him. But for once, this wasn't about him.

"She doesn't like me at all," Olivia started, staring into the blackness of the night. It reminded me of my own turmoil when I was stuck here, like a black hole that sucked the happiness out of everyone. La Push was nothing but a tick. I bet she felt the same, alone and confined in a failure of a life. "Every time she looks at me, she squints, like she's disgusted." She let out a sad sigh. "I understand. I'm the other woman. I'm her replacement."

I offered a small smile. Olivia could see things from such a clear perspective. It's unfortunate that she knows she's under a bad light but she is and we have to start there.

"Before I say anything," I said first, "I'm telling you this because you can relate to her more than anyone else. She needs an ally."

As much as Marisol and I had in common, being rejected and stuck in a miserable cycle, Olivia fit her to a tea. They both couldn't have the one they deserve, well at the time. I'm not saying Merris and Jake still deserve each other anymore. Oh no, she deserves much better. But Olivia is Seth's special someone. Their similarities were so uncanny. It was almost like talking to his female-version. Yet he wanted nothing to do with her. And she, like Marisol, was stuck in a life so frustrating, placed here unwillingly. They couldn't change it on their own. And also the fact they were a part of the same sub-species of shifters, stereotypical werewolves to be exact.

"Merris, since I can remember, has always been strong. She's so used to being on her own. Her father died just before she moved here and her mom has always been an alcoholic. So she knows exactly how to cope when life gets really hard. Unfortunately she does with her defense mechanism, an emotional wall to block everyone else. Somehow we got her to break it down. I think I did by showing how alike we were. In truth, she yearned for a friend. She was so lonely and gladly took a friend."

And just like she was when she was just a kid, here again she was back in the past, retracing her footsteps. But I still found some good in her weakened state. That meant it was easier to persuade her.

"Right now she needs one more than ever. She shut everyone out of her life because she can't protect them from herself. If you can help her grasp her new identity, teach her to adapt to it, not only will you gain her trust and respect but she'll really depend on you. You know so much about this than she does."

Olivia nodded but I could still see her uncertainty. Marisol was a tough cookie to crack. Marisol's once broken walls have been enforced double duty since Jacob managed to hurt her twice. Not only did he call her worthless by shoving her aside as soon as another girl stepped onto the scene but managed to crush her heart again when the car crash crushed her baby, too, as if to say "you can't have anything of mine," even if he didn't know about it.

"So when she met Jake, she felt at ease for a long time, to know she could escape somewhere. Someone else's arms were willing to hold her and she was welcomed somewhere. Jake was her sanctuary. All those years that she depended on herself, she finally realized that she could be treated fairly. It was a blissful dream for her."

Her face from those times was vivid in my mind. Her cheeks were always pink in blush and her teeth shined brilliant like her eyes. She had so much life, laughter, and I would remember how much adoration she possessed for him. She, once in her life, was excited about something. My grin that crept onto my face recalling those happy moments of her fell when I remembered how harshly Jake had ripped them from under her like a carpet. She then fell into a mess that is now her life.

"She told me, "Leah this has to be too good to be true," like she expected it to slip passed her. I told her this was fate, that she and he were supposed to be together, that he couldn't live without her, that he had to see her every day or else he'd go crazy. Sometimes I felt jealous that she got a chance at love but then again, I would be jealous of anyone who found that special person who could take your hand and make you forget your whole day of troubles." I shook my head, a small smile playing on my lips. "But I was so happy for her. She gave me hope. If she could find love, so could I. But not only that, I was happy she was finally happy. She deserved it."

I crossed my wrist together and leaned against the railing. I stared at Olivia's sour eyes. I had only reminded her that she still hadn't achieved the gift of love either and I instantly felt back. That's why I skipped to my next segment quickly.

"Then one day, Bella stepped onto the scene. She was Jake's childhood friend." I titled my head at Olivia, pleading with my eyes not to repeat the details. She nodded. She already knew the part of the break-up. His side though but it still spared me the painful jabs on my heart.

"Merris was devastated. She was in disbelief and still tried to win back Jake. She had it set in her head that the two were meant for each other, true destiny, and she was no quitter. She was going to fight for happiness and also to save Jake. Bella was a poison and was going to be the death of him. Merris didn't want him to get hurt like we all knew he would be. He's set on the fact that Merris didn't want to lose to another woman but the truth is it was nothing about pride. She had swallowed hers a long time ago. She wasn't fighting just for herself."

Here was the hard part. The secret we had hid from everyone else and what Merris had entrusted me that I was trusting onto Olivia in hopes that it would help Merris in the long run. I really hoped that I wasn't making a mistake.

"You see, the two were carelessly in love, they gave each other everything. And she realized how careless they were when she missed her period. She didn't want to believe it, she procrastinated on it, made so many excuses for it but that nagging in her head and as well as my own made her face the truth. She went to store, picked up a few pregnancy tests and locked herself in the bathroom for the rest of the night."

I felt my heart plummet, as if I was reliving the moment again. "She called me the next morning. First her voice was unnaturally calm, numb, and flat. She told me I was right. Then her control collapsed and she started to sob. She was helpless and I couldn't do anything but hold her. Right after the call I went to her house and did just that." My own voice started to crack but I regained composure. "Her small, fragile body shook in my arms and I couldn't ease her burden. She was on her own and I couldn't guide her."

"When I left later that day, I saw a glimpse of her in her window. She gave me a weak wave and her face still haunts me today. Her eyes were sunken in and darkened, like the life was sucked right out of her. I was thinking that she could very well consider suicide over telling Jake but I should've known better than doubt her like that. She may have been miserable but she would give that baby a fighting chance. Who was she to decide what it got? So you see she wasn't fighting for her anymore but for a family. The baby needed one and she did her damnedest to give it one but Jake was too set on Bella."

Olivia stared aimlessly into the woods with the widest set of eyes that could rival a raccoons.

"He didn't know… how…" she mumbled to herself. My hands clutched into fist. I don't know what brought onto the anger. Certainly Olivia didn't do it on purpose but her ignorance set me off.

"She couldn't just throw that onto Jake right then! I wouldn't put it above him to assume it's a desperate stunt to get him to let go of Bella and he'd leave Merris definitely! She had to consider the right timing. At that moment, she had to wait until he had a clear head and his priorities set! She wouldn't add a baby into this mess of his, not yet."

Olivia hung her head low in shame and I felt bad for throwing that onto her. I apologized immediately.

"That night, when she came over, she caught him again chatting with Bella over the phone about a date and she got desperate. She was losing him fast and she couldn't. She needed to give this innocent child a chance, even if his father was being an asshole. She no longer was thinking about herself and her happiness but fairness for this kid."

I shook my head again, thinking about the tragedy that followed. After all her attempts, the baby didn't survive the first few months, the irony of it all. "You know what happened next." I said dully, talking about Jake's actions. Liv yet had to be informed about the infant's untimely accident.

Liv shook her head in dismay. "She should've told him still."

I let out a growl. No matter what, Merris was still shown in a bad light. "He didn't want her, he hurt her, he was no more of a man than a boy he really was. You tell me, do you think it would've worked? The two officially hated each other. He had hurt her beyond repair and made it very clear he didn't want anything to do with her."

Liv looked up with fiery eyes. "That's spiteful thinking. He still had the right to know! She is unreasonable and selfish." I didn't hold back my hand and I slapped her straight across the mouth.

"She was doing him a favor!" I hissed. "He pinned after Bella and she wasn't going to be any more of a nuisance to him. Though he still was the father, his life was a mess and she was selfless enough to spare this kid from it. She didn't want to fuel the fire and make it more complicated than it is. She kept it simple. He wanted her gone, he wanted Bella. She packed up bags and gave up her whole life to give this kid one of its own. She gave up all she knew to offer this child a healthy life."

Olivia still seethed but she didn't say anything. I knew it was sinking in and the understanding part of her would reason with her internal conflict and win. Her glare dropped as her stiff shoulders slumped again. Her temper was short lived, I see. Her eyes tore away from my stern gaze and back towards the brooding woods.

"He would've understood. He would have never denied his child," she meekly argued back. So maybe her inner fight didn't die yet. I just shook my head.

"You know you shouldn't be arguing with me on this, I'm not the one who made the decisions."

Her lips straightened in a firm line before she began to chew her bottom lip.

"But you support them," she mumbled. I rolled my eyes. I smiled a bit though. She was similar to Marisol in more ways than one. Her sass was just a small aspect that Marisol also possessed. The only difference was decibels. Marisol tended to speak louder than Olivia's whispers.

"Like I said, take this up with Merris, not me. It's my responsibility to have my best friend's back, definitely in her darkest hours. You have a problem with her choices as a parent so if you really want to, you can take that up with her." I smirked when I saw her face pale. "But I'd advise you not to, not when you're trying to befriend her. Trust me, I bet you heard stories about her fury." She meekly nodded. "Do you really want her to eat you alive? It ain't pretty."

But Olivia's worried expression told me I had won this battle. Even if she did want to debate this some more, she wouldn't confront about Marisol about it.

"Okay, okay, so she was scared about telling Jake and how it would affect his life," she summarized the whole situation for herself out loud. "I get it."

"Thanks," I breathed out. I really was relieved. She didn't judge Marisol as cruelly like I had feared. She may have her opinions but she wouldn't berate Merris with me. The last thing Merris needed was criticism.

"Both Jake and Merris's lives were chaotic. Liv, the best thing for them was to be apart, to deal with their issues separate. They were making each other's lives hell and it was best that they have their own lives." I looked at Liv who was shooting me a skeptical look. "I'm sure Marisol would've told Jake. It wouldn't be fair to the kid to live without his real father. She would just have to adjust to the situation. She might be bitter," though that was an understatement but she was entitled to, she had been through a fair share of hurt and betrayal.

Not everyone can overcome that and live as if that didn't happen. It would change anyone's lives and their perspective on people.

"But she's noble and knows that everyone has a right to make their own choices in life. She would have let that kid make his own choices on what he or she wanted, including if he wanted his father in his life or not."

Olivia tilted her head and squinted, obviously confused. "I… it sounds like… why are you talking about "what-ifs"? What happened to the baby?"

I sighed and avoided her eyes. "It didn't make it. She had a miscarriage."

Not really, I mentally corrected, but I didn't want to give Olivia too much detail. I'm sure if the accident didn't happen, Marisol would be a very happy mother but it did, and in the end it died in her womb which still would count has a miscarriage.

I heard her gasp and when I glanced to my right, she had her mouth covered with her hands and her eyes were wide once again. I steered my head away again and let the moment passed, hoping it would pass quickly.

"She wasn't the same ever again. She became reserved and cold. She's still generous and kind but she has a piece ripped out of her soul. She tried to fill it but it's reserved for that baby, I know. And it is heartbreaking knowing she won't feel fulfilled anymore. Maybe if another man came along and they had some babies, it could fill up that missing piece of her but I don't think you can replace your first child."

Liv and I remained quiet for a while. A gentle breeze swept out hair into our faces but it comforting. The minty smell of drizzling rain refreshed our senses while the soft calls of birds pricked our ears.

Suddenly my ears picked up on a different sound. It was closer than the birds but muffled so I couldn't make it out at first. Then it became obvious with I heard her hitches of breaths, like quick wheezing.

"Merris," I cried out. My heart squeezed inside my chest thinking she was crying. I instantly ran to the door and pried it open, Olivia right behind me.

I ran to her door only a few feet open and pulled it past my body, slipping in like a blur and onto the bed, getting close to her as possible.

Merris jerked back in surprise and I noticed how red her eyes were and still brimming with tears.

"What's wrong, Hon?"

Marisol looked down at her sheets in shame and I immediately picked her head up again with my finger. Her chin slipped off my finger tip but she kept it up high.

"Nothing, just a sad movie," she sniffed. I embraced her small figure and smoothed down her hair, just like I always did before when she was upset. Her arms snaked around my waist and nuzzled her head into the crank of my neck. We sat like that for a while. "Why are you here?"

"To visit you, of course," I mumbled into the crown of her head. "I was just talking to Olivia about how you were. She was worried about you." I began to rock her, swaying mindlessly as she molded closer to my body.

Olivia shot me a puzzled look. I returned a fiercer one. Don't tell her what we talked about, I mouth, sharpening my eyes into slits. She'll kill both of us, I mouthed again. Merris didn't notice it because her face was cradled underneath my chin. Even with her added height, I was still taller than her.

What was the point then? Olivia mouthed back, her brows coming together.

To understand her story, I mouthed back. Just wait, she'll tell you herself at some point, I finished for good.

"Thanks Leah," Merris mumbled into my chest. I soothed down her hair some more, twisting her tips around my fingers. I always loved her hair, so silky and soft. But it seemed limp, lifeless, just like Merris.

"What are friends for? I couldn't leave you alone to face Jake again." I kissed her head and pushed her head out from underneath mine and made her maintain eye contact. "Has he hurt you?"

Marisol shook her head and her eyes drooped to her crossed lap. "Honey, what's wrong?"

"It gets so frustrating," she hissed, violently pulling from my grasp and standing upright. The sudden action made Olivia jumped back from Marisol's predictable path of fury. "Knowing I'm stuck here, treated as if I'm some kind of rodent, unwanted, disgusting, like I'm vermin!" She threw her hands in the air. "He doesn't want me around but yet taunts me with his presence! His goal is to torture me, to make sure I'm not happy at all!"

I waited for a few minutes before her energy dissipated.

"He doesn't like me but he wants make me feel horrible, like revenge for whatever I did to him. Honestly! He needs to get over this! He had his chance at Bella! He missed, because she still had Edward, just like we warned him about! And he still can't let that go and has to punish someone for his failure! What better subject than the ex-girlfriend who left him? May I remind you he wanted that! I gave him all the freedom he wants and he still isn't happy! He'll never be satisfied!"

Finally her steam ran out and her scrunched face relaxed and her sadness was obvious. Her eyes were tried and had noticeable bags under them. Her cheeks were pale but stained pink from recent tears. Her body was weak and collapsed onto the bed next to me. I took her under my wing and patted her shoulder.

"What brought this on?"

"The damn movie," she mumbled. I looked at the TV screen, watching as Reece Witherspoon walking down the aisle. I don't remember the name of the movie but I recall it. "It was supposed to be funny and it was in the beginning but then reminded me of something."

"Reminded you of what?"

I would have assumed it had to do with a happy couple. It's kind of a kick in the stomach for her, for me, and probably to Liv, too, to see watch these characters go from hate to love in ten to thirty minutes until the movie ends in the predictable happy ever after and know that isn't likely for us. We could never get the Hollywood ending.

Marisol's eyes glanced wearily at Liz. "Uh, Olivia," she started. I looked at Olivia's surprised face. "Could you leave us alone, please? It's kind of a personal matter."

Olivia looked torn but ultimately nodded her head and crept out. Shoot, there goes my plan on getting the two on familiarities.

"So apparently, Melanie who's played by Reese Witherspoon has this glamorous life in New York when this prominent man that she's dating proposes to her. The only problem is that she's already married. She left her husband in Alabama and he refuses to sign the divorce papers. Want to hear the ironic thing? Guess what his name is."

I shrugged, not bothering.

"Jake! And want to hear another ironic thing? The reason they married is because he got her knocked up! But it failed because she had a miscarriage! That's pretty much my whole life story right there!"

I would've laughed because the way she flagged her arms around and how her voice seemed to scoop different pitches. But I knew she was talking that way because she was trying to hold back tears.

"And you want to know the real punch in the face? He still loves her! I should be Melanie and Jake should be my Jake! How come I couldn't get a happy ending like that?" She sniffled into my shoulder and I kept her in a tight hug.

"I don't know. Jake is an idiot and wants too much." I rubbed her back as she began to shake. "You tried you're best but he's just a brat."

"I guess I'm partly at blame, too." She admitted. I would've shaken her like crazy to take that thought back! But she kept talking in a monotone voice. It was almost incoherent since it was being mumbled on my shoulder.

"I shouldn't have left myself open. I should've seen him as the boy he is. We fell too deep too early. I was clingy I guess. He wanted space and I completely obliged."

"He took advantage of you, Merris. It's not your fault what he did!"

"I let him do it and I'm the one still feeling the sting. It hurts to know he got out scratch free while I'm standing still in his mess."

"Don't put any blame on yourself, you hear me?"

"I can't wait to get out of this damn town. I'm sick of him dragging me through the mud."

And it went a lot like that for a couple minutes before Liv came in, to what I thought was to snap Merris back from her mumbling trance, but instead her face was snow white, meaning not-so-good-news. She wagged her finger out towards me. I held my own up, to motion "stay, I'll be right back" and followed Olivia out into the hallway, closing the door behind me.

"We have a problem," she gulped. She averted her eyes from mine, biting her bottom lip, a nervous habit. My heart sunk, already predicting the worse.

"Jake knows."


	8. Chapter 8

Jake's POV

"She couldn't just throw that onto Jake right then! I wouldn't put it above him to assume it's a desperate stunt to get him to let go of Bella and he'd leave Merris definitely! She had to consider the right timing. At that moment, she had to wait until he had a clear head and his priorities set! She wouldn't add a baby into this mess of his, not yet." Leah said from the other side of the house.

I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't hear any more of this!

I pushed myself off the wall and leapt off the porch, desperate for to get as far away from them as possible. My head was already crammed, scrambling to get a hold of all this information.

I rounded the brittle railing and ran past the front of the house where my eyes caught a glimpse of Marisol's room, dimly lit blue from the TV I presumed. I only slowed down my hasty pace by milliseconds but her window stayed in my view for the longest time.

"When I left later that day, I saw a glimpse of her in her window. She gave me a weak wave and her face still haunts me today. Her eyes were sunken in and darkened, like the life was sucked right out of her. I was thinking that she could very well consider suicide over telling Jake but I should've known better than doubt her like that."

I tried to shake Leah's voice out of my head but an image was already being carved into my head and I shuddered at it. The Marisol she described was so much like the one I saw only an hour ago. But the realness of the circumstances pitted my heart deeper into my stomach.

"…so you see she wasn't fighting for her anymore but for a family. The baby needed one and she did her damnedest to give it one but Jake was too set on Bella."

I growled at her words, pushing myself farther until the glow of her window no longer was visibly in the intense blackness of the night.

Why must Leah always remind me of that? Bella this, Bella that. I had lost Marisol but I'm still suffering the loss the Bella. I was hurting, too, and as angry as I was at Bella for giving up her life like that just to be with that bloodsucker, I still care about her and I had to resist the urge to punish Leah for her harsh tones about her.

But at the same time, the plain truth had sunk in. I had put Bella above Merris, and now I learn, a family, too. I didn't realize how much my simple mindedness had cost. I could only imagine how scared Merris was, alone and unprepared. She wanted to trust me, like she could have before, but I blew it. She couldn't trust me at all, not even with our child.

I felt myself stiffen, getting ready to shift any moment now that my entire body was enveloped with anxiety.

But she still robbed me! Not only did she break my heart, she denied me my right to being a father. Bella or not, she shouldn't have put her feelings first! She could've still trusted me, maybe not as a romantic partner but she had no basis to doubt my responsibility. I would've put my kid above everything else, even Bella. How could she have no known that? In fact, I probably would love him or her more than Merris and Bella combined. I may have been torn between two women but I would never put my child with that mess, I would treat him or her separately, and deal the drama on the side. I growled again, angrier. She was selfish, her judgment was tainted. She wasn't thinking about what was good for our child but was good for her!

I skidded to a stop, falling onto my knees, succumbing to the growing rain. I caught my breath, just now realizing how sour and dry it was. I would have to get water, I thought, clutching my gasping throat.

"Jacob?"

My head shot up from the wet gravel and up to a towering figure. I recognized his round face from anywhere. Only he still had that child-like appeal that the rest of us lost as soon as our humanity was stolen.

"Seth," I hissed out. I pressed my lips into a firm line.

He and his sister hated me and I thought it was just because I had broken Merris's heart. But Seth had such an intensity of loathing for me, there had to be more. When I had broken her heart, she was up for open game, giving him a chance to redeem her for himself. He should've been happy but he wasn't. Was it because even then he knew he couldn't have her, that she was already beyond repair? Scarred?

The dots connected instantly as I put my theories side by side. He knew he couldn't have her because she was taken by someone else. I used to think it was me, I was that someone but now as I dig deeper, it might have been something else… He knew!

"You knew," I growled, "just like your sister did, and you didn't even tell me! I don't care how much you hate me I have a right to now I had a son or daughter! That's pitiful of you, that you would sink that low to infect a punishment on me. I had her first and you couldn't deal with that. But my baby was out the deal, you shouldn't have played in any part of that!"

Seth's face scrunched up. He seemed confused at first and ready to shoot a retort back but then my words hit him like a brick, just like the news did me when I first heard it out of Leah's mouth. He gaped like a fish and began to stumble over his own words.

"No, that can't be… Marisol would've told me…" Oh that's right, Marisol trusted him with everything, I bitterly thought. This is pathetic how he's acting dumb. "That explains why she left. She never left before… she suddenly left abruptly… that explains it."

His face was iced with disbelief.

"Ah, so she lied to you, too. How wonderful," I sarcastically played along with his act. His face hardened and I saw his foot itch towards back my house, urged to go see Marisol. "Were you on your way to see her?" I bitterly asked.

"Actually, yes," he coldly replied. "I wanted to make sure she was bruise-free."

Ouch, that was a cheap shot. I swallowed my spit and it burnt like acid down my throat. "That was on accident," I defended myself.

"You two seemed to have a lot of accidents," he bit back. I stood up to challenge but his stance stayed the same. He was angry but I could tell right away none of it was directed at Merris but at me. I don't know how he could not.

"What are you saying?" I challenged.

"I'm saying," he spat, with burning, brown eyes. "That Marisol doesn't need any more shoving around. I can see why she left here with her baby. She didn't want it to see how you treat her."

I was speechless for a few moments, considering what he had just said. Maybe that's why she left? Because she was though I… no…. I know I lost my temper a few times and sometimes I underestimate my own strength but I never physically hit her except for one time, the last time, right before she left for good.

"I would never hurt my child," I growled.

"But you hurt her and she didn't want it exposed it to that."

He was itching to go and with nothing coming out of my mouth, he took the opportunity and bolted east towards Marisol.

My jaw locked and I headed west, away from both of them. I needed to go somewhere unbiased. Somewhere I can organize my thoughts equally and I knew just the house.

Jared's house was only around the corner and I could already see the upstairs and kitchen light on. Any bets Kim was just finishing up cleaning dinner while Jared was tucking Jack to bed. It was around the boy's bed time.

I bounded over the porch steps and pounded on the front door. I heard Kim's soft footsteps on the other side of the door and the door finally opened only a moment later. She instantly recognized me, despite my soggy state, and welcomed me inside.

Her hair was pulled back into a messy bun and her left cheek was smeared with soap. I glanced behind her and saw the pile of dishes in the sink, covered with small bubbles. Her smile was tight but meaningful. You could see it on her bare face that she had a long, tiring day and wanted to go to bed quickly.

"Jared will be down in a second," she said, going back into the tiny kitchen to toss me a small hand towel that I used to dry my dripping hair, and continued to wiped down the dishes with spare one. I stood patiently in the open space, taking in their quaint home.

It had a warm feel, with warm colors like yellows and reds that gave the room a bright outlook. The furniture was worn but that was expected with a new family. Jared and Kim had only settled down two years ago officially and bought their house not long after the shot-gun wedding. They didn't care much about modern style and liked that traditional family appeal because they wanted their son to have traditional values. Meaning more sports than TV shows like most kids now-these-days depend on and so far little Jack doesn't seem bothered by the lack of video games.

"Actually Kim, I want to talk to you, too." She offered the feminine view I was looking for. Jared was more for support and comfort. He always had my back when times got hard.

"About what," she asked, placing the last plate into the dishwasher and closing it for good.

"About Marisol," I answered. I couldn't be straight up and announce she was pregnant with my child, not yet. I needed to mentally prepare an introduction when both were present.

"Marisol?" I heard Jared repeat, just before he trotted down the stairs where Kim joined his side. He pulled her closer by sliding his hand around her waist. She rested her tired head onto his shoulder. The sight slightly sickened me, reminding me of what I didn't have and once did. Marisol and I were affectionate like that, even more than that.

"Yeah," my voice faded off.

"So it's true, she's here. Quil and Embry met her on the beach and she was under a fake name I heard." I nodded. "That was odd. She lied to them saying she was someone else."

"She didn't want to be found out," I explained. I don't know why I would want to defend her when just minutes ago I was fuming and practically cursing her name.

"Ha, well wouldn't she be obvious?" He joked back.

I envied his light-mannered face, I rarely had time to relax and enjoy life since I became an alpha, too much responsibilities and no relief, not when I have to come home to an empty home. Not even my work can distract me.

"So what about her," Jared asked.

"She hid some things from me," I started, "really big things. I don't know how I can get her to open up, to explain why she did the things she did."

Kim was the first one to intervene my silence while I searched through my brain to add more. I didn't just come here to ask that, I just was scared to say more, to show how much of a mess this whole situation was.

Jared seemed to realize my internal struggle and whispered something to Kim's ear. She went upstairs willingly, waving me goodnight that I returned politely.

"What's really wrong, Jake?" He asked, pulling me aside onto the couch. I leaned back into its worn cushions and stared into the ceiling.

"Everything, Jar," I roughly mumbled. "It's horrible. She hates of me and won't even talk to me. I really hurt her and I don't think she'll ever be the same."

Jared's brows furrowed together. I sighed before I let put everything out in the open.

"I wasn't there for her," I told Jared, concluding the long story. 2 hours have passed already and Jared just patiently waited like the good friend he was but the surprise was obvious on his face. "If I was, none of this would have happened to her. I'm terrible."

"I'm sorry Jake," Jared told me, rubbing my stiff shoulder. His face was creamed with disbelief and his mouth hung ajar. Kim stood behind him, clutching the couch to keep balance while he knees shook.

Kim was speechless and I could only imagine what she was thinking. Being a female, she could connect to Marisol much better than Jared and I, which I originally sought her out for, but now as I watched her face shrivel in a strong emotion, I began to worry if she, too, wouldn't bother for me anymore, and dedicate her will to keep Merris and me apart.

"I'm so mad, at myself and her, too. I was stupid but she never gave me a chance. I will do anything to repair this and she nothing. I'm trying, I really am, and she doesn't care."

Jared only nodded then looked behind to Kim whose breathing began labored.

"Are you alright, Kim?" He asked.

"Jake," she hoarsely whispered. I saw her eyes glistened and Jared pounced up to comfort his wife. "She was so scared. I'm 21 and as a new mom, I'm still frightened and unprepared, both Jared and I are. We don't know what the hell we're doing. Marisol had to do that alone, much younger than I. She lost her childhood. She had to give up her whole life and dedicate it to that one little being. She wasn't selfish at all. She was doing her damned best to give her baby the best life it could have. And as cruel as it sounds, the best option was away from you. You and Bella complicated everything and she didn't need that, the baby didn't need that. It needs a stable home," she clarified, accepting Jared's hug from behind. "The baby needs a happy home, with cooperating parents, and you two could have never achieved that, but I think alone, either of you would've made good homes. La Push though wasn't safe, not with the vampires. She needed to find somewhere normal, somewhere safe. I'm sorry Jake but don't ever doubt her motherly instincts. She may not have given a rat's ass about you but she would drop dead before putting her baby in harm's way."

I was taken back. "Are you saying I'm dangerous?"

She stared at me with hardened eyes. "Bella was dangerous. For heaven's sake, she had a vampire army after you." I widened my eyes. I thought Kim was rather fond of Bella. She was always so nice to her at the bonfires. "Now I'm trying to insult Bella but I'm stating the facts. Bella was a magnet for trouble and when you hung around her, everyone close to her gets hurt, including you. She did want to put her baby at risk, not someone so small and fragile. It's her job as a mother to protect her infant and she won't let anything vile touch it, not even its father. I'm sorry I'm saying this Jake but I'm not going to lie for your sake. If you want to rekindle your flame with her, everything has to be out in open."

Suddenly she pushed herself off the couch and snagged a sweater from the open closet. Before her hand shot off the door handle, I shot off a question first.

"Where are you going?" Simultaneously Jared and I asked.

"To your place to talk to Marisol," she replied. "As a young mother myself she'll trust me. I can get her to open up and even if it's against my morals, if I can't convince her to have a heart-to-heart with you, I'll play the messenger one time so you know what's happening on her part. But only once," she emphasized. "But anything else, I'm not helping with. Right now I'm focused on one thing only. I'll be home soon Jared." And with that, she slammed the door behind her.

He shuddered and peaked the upstairs, anticipating a cry from upstairs but after a minute he relaxed when he was reassured by silence that Jack was sound asleep.

"While Kim takes care of that," he mumbled. He sat back down beside me, kneeling forward with his elbows perched on his knees and his chin cupped in his hands, his eyes set in a straight stare at the dimming fire in front of us. "Merris is scared, Jake. Not just because she's a single mother, in a dangerous job, but because she's dangerous herself. She needs someone to hone into her new abilities to mold them for her. You're more than capable to do that. After all, you are the alpha."

"She's not even a part of our pack, not even our species. We're shape shifters, we shift at will! Merris is part of a group that has a very sensitive trigger… don't forget to mention the moon cycle coordinates it, too… How can I deal with that? How can I trigger that? You know what Edward says, I told you. She doesn't remember anything. She and her inner wolf have two different mind sets. She won't remember my lessons! It's a lost cause." I argued.

"It's not a lost cause," Jared retorted, "not when you're trying to know her to the extent you had. You have to know all of her, not just her human counterpart. You are such an asset to her. Don't let her attitude fool her. I remember her always being cold and distant, why would be any different? She's vulnerable and you need to put your foot in the door before she closes herself entirely. Do you hear me?"

I merely nodded, doubting I could do such a thing.

"I'll call the rest of the pack, gather a pack meeting, and I want you to bring her with us, okay? She needs that pack environment. She'll feel comfortable with us and we'll welcome her like she's family, because she is family. And we don't leave family behind." Jared concluded. I nodded solemnly while he went into the kitchen to call up anyone who was up.

"I'm going back to my house, Jared." I called out. "I'll check up on Kim."

"No!" Jared shouted. "Don't disturb them! Give her a chance to crack Marisol. Stay here! I'm calling Embry!"

I was torn between the door and the couch. I was anxious to get home to hear Marisol for myself but at the same time I didn't want to go back to rejection. Certainly she wanted this secret kept. I don't think she would've wanted it blown out of proportion and everyone knowing her secret that Leah shared with Liv.

I felt angry, thinking about how Leah could betray her like that. Leah was her only confidant, and here I thought Leah was one of the only few people who still had Merris' interest at heart, only to learn she's not as reliable as Marisol thought she was.

How could Marisol detest me when her own best friend was spilling her secrets all over this town?

She only told one person, a voice whispered behind me. You're the one who told not only Seth-whom she definitely didn't want to know- and then goes to Jared and Kim to tell them, knowing it was going to result as PACK information. Smooth, Jacob, really. Don't blame it on Leah, she kept this secret for her for so long, don't you think it hurting her, too? She wanted to tell someone, too, someone trustworthy.

Then why not me, I challenged it.

Please, you're the one who put Marisol in that position. As if she was going to give you any more leverage over her head.

I slumped onto the couch, not bothering to argue back.

It's not like I was arguing with my conscience. This was an unknown voice, I had never heard it before, well I have since a few months ago, but I could never recall it from a physical person. I could never connect it with a face. Sometimes I thought it was Marisol, my version of Merris that I mentally mimicked to keep her presence alive. I didn't want to feel lonely, forgotten… abandoned.

The door opened, revealing Emily. I peered behind her to see a wide shadow that I knew was Sam's. I offered a sullen smile to Emily who seemed to look down in shame. Then I began to wonder why she was here, not with her kids? I must have thought out loud because Emily answered what I though was my silent question.

"Kim has them with her. She hopes they can ease Merris out of a bad mood."

I raised a brow. Marisol must have learned what Leah did.

"Is she alright?" I asked.

Emily shrugged. "She's overwhelmed."

News goes around fast, I assumed.

"Is Leah there?"

Emily's thin brows tied together in confusion. "Why wouldn't she be?"

Marisol didn't kick her out? I was shocked and was about to argue when I remembered Emily probably didn't know the whole story. It's been only an half an hour anyways.

"How about Seth," I was scared to ask but the itch I had about him was growing. I wanted to know how he was handling it. Was he offended? I didn't know. His face didn't reveal much except that he was surprised like me but he had no trace of anger. Then again, he didn't lose much, it wasn't his child. I bet he could care less about him or her. All her cares about is Marisol. As if she has no faults.

My jaw tightened when I thought about how she was the one without the rap. She got away with the sympathy when all this time she had all these secrets, too, and she dragged Leah with them. The two conspired against me.

Emily's jaw stiffened, too, to hold in something and my curiosity shot up.

"What, Emily?"

She adverted her eyes and Sam stepped in between us, his eyes firm but not to keep from glaring, he, too, was hiding something from and I was getting anxious. I hated not knowing something.

"Spit it out, you two." I demanded, standing up. My height challenged Sam's and I was sure to win the intimidation match. Emily shook her head and her lips twitched, wanting to say something but Sam blocked her confidence.

"If it's about Marisol, I need to know."

"Nothing," Sam bluntly said, guiding his wife into the kitchen. She was quick to escape the tension of the room. He stayed behind and looked me in the eyes, some unknown emotion glimmering in his dark orbs. "Come outside."

We hastily exited the house and stepped into the chilling air, shrouded under the porch's shade in darkness. I could only make out his shadow as well as my own. I could barely make out the difference of my bear arms and my shirt.

"I think Merris should leave… soon." I was appalled. I could only stare at him incredulously.

"Do you know how long it took to try to find her? I'm not missing this opportunity."

"She's not the same," I could tell he turned his head to stare directly at me.

"I know that, she's taken a lot of hits. She's damaged, so what? Aren't we all? She is trying to cope with these changes."

Sam shook his head. "She's dangerous. She has too many secrets," he took a breath that I watch dissipate into the thick, cold air. I narrowed my eyes, challenging him to elaborate. "She's bad news, Jake, even worse than Bella. She's going to ruin us."

I hissed under my breath. "What the hell do you know? She's nothing like Bella."

No, Bella used me. Merris stuck through for me despite how hard I pushed her away and then she ran away. She was brave enough to survive on her own because she could rely on herself, not like Bella who was dependent on me and Edward. Merris never had ulterior motives like Bella. Then again, Merris kept everything to herself.

"She's everything like Bella," he growled. "She may know it or maybe she does. She's closer to all of us than we think. Close enough to kill if we're not careful. Marisol has fatal connections, Jake. Have you ever thought that she came at the right time? That it isn't a coincidence?"


	9. Chapter 9

Olivia's POV

Despite the situation, I don't think the house could have been any happier. Instead of crying, Merris was grinning. Her eyes were dry and warm, not wet and intense. In fact, I swear they faded. I couldn't see a trace of black in her wide pupils. It reminded me of Jacob's photos posted in his office of their younger days, a specific picture actually where she was sitting on Jacob's porch with Seth and Embry. The trio was bright eyed, wide smiled, and pink cheeks from the cold, fall cheeks. Of course, her cheeks were the brightest due to the light complexity.

In fact, I was tempted to go pick up the picture and just compare the scenes. Marisol wouldn't care if I left for a second. She was too busy whispering secrets into Annie's ears, which in return, the girl would giggle and stare at the row of cards in Merris' hands. I don't think she really understood the game of poker but that didn't matter, the adults were happy and the anxious 6 year old behaved in Marisol's arms. Emily would be so happy.

"Hey," I interrupted the light humor of our circle, "I'm going to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

"Don't worry, we won't peak!" Annie replied with a mischievous grin, one that mimicked Marisol's. It was uncanny. A spurt of giggles escaped Marisol's lips and she struggled to keep her back straight when her body fell over the table as the result of her hard laughter.

"Shh! Now you gave her the idea we will!" Marisol joked, veiling her face with the little girl's long hair.

Kim laughed hardily beside them, patting Merris' shoulder. "She's just like Sam. She sucks at keeping secrets."

Annie pouted at Kim and then up at Marisol. "I'll give you a lesson in bluffing, young grasshopper." Marisol said, concluding in a wink and then focused back onto the game of poker.

"You'll see, in life," Marisol started, holding Annie closer to her, as if she was her own child, and it made my heart tug a bit, "if you keep quiet, no one will know what you're going to do. Therefore you can do something, have time to cover it up, and when they finally have an idea of what you did, they can't prove it. Acquitted, just like that!" She demonstrated with a snap. Annie giggled and stared up at Marisol's teasing face. "A straight face gives nothing away."

That was for sure, I thought sullenly. Even though Marisol was happy, she had yet to give us any answers. If anything, the kid was a distraction for her. Annie certainly did ease her mood but that didn't change Marisol's trust issue with the other women. The mood was lighter though. From the look on Leah's face, it was a miracle Marisol was smiling.

"What does acquit mean?" Annie asked.

Marisol bit her lip and her eyes swooped to the ceiling and around the room, obvious thinking, a habit I noticed throughout the night she had.

"It means you're excused to a crime, most of the time because there isn't any evidence to prove it." Annie only nodded. I doubted she understood most of that.

"Accused," Annie repeated.

"No, no, excused."

"Speaking of acquitted, you won't believe what happened to your mom." Kim spoke up.

Everything went silent as all eyes were on Kim. Leah's were wide with silent pleading and mine were wide with curiosity, while Merris' were narrowly slit. The air pressure dropped and I could feel my heart anxiously beating, anticipating the once warm atmosphere to burst into chaotic flames.

"She disappeared right after you left, just packed up her bags and left. We wouldn't have noticed if it wasn't for Jacob shouting all over town the house was empty. He was frantic about it. Heck, he even broke into it to see if she took everything."

"Did she?"

"Nope," Kim said, "she left everything of yours. It was kind of creepy. It was like you never even left the house. You know, in those cliché horror movies, where there's that one room that seems to have a mind of its own? Where you know that something's wrong with it but don't know what? Kind of like that feeling and since the power was out, we usually visited during the day and the rain did not help the creepy mood at all." Kim laughed and Leah tried to, too but we all knew now Leah knew better than Marisol being dead.

Surprisingly I couldn't tell if any of the girls held a grudge.

"It isn't creepy anymore," I tried to joke but it felt awkward coming from my mouth. Leah shot me a glance and I zipped my lips shut.

"Yeah, where did Jake put it when he moved? Speaking of which, how the hell did he get this place? It's a bit higher maintenance compared the usual two bedroom house."

"Jake worked extra hours, barely spent any money for himself for a long time, saving up for the asking price. He offered the highest bit to the bank and she took it. He barely had furniture to fill up the place so he let us store some of our stuff here. In fact Claire has an extra bedroom upstairs whenever Embry has her. She loves it. It was difficult placing Billy on the main floor, especially with the tiny budget for remodeling but there's a far off room in the west corner that Billy would sleep at."

Marisol's perfectly plucked brows knitted together and she subconsciously glanced towards the hall but didn't step out of her seat. "Where is Billy anyways?"

Leah sighed and answered for Kim. "He died two years ago." Marisol's face paled and her eyes dropped onto Annie's head. She was speechless.

Leah extended her hand and rubbed Marisol's cold shoulder. With the few months I knew him, despite his disdain for me, I could reason why. Like everyone else, he thought I was Merris' replacement, and took every chance to taunt me with her memory. "Marisol was one of a kind. She didn't mind sitting with me, talking or watching TV. She would be the perfect daughter-in-law. Her cooking could've used some work but that girl could achieve anything she put her mind into. Jake is an idiot to throw her aside," he'd always tell me. I must say, with a small ounce of disgust for my part for even thinking it, that I was glad the old fellow was dead, so I could escape her footsteps that I didn't intend to follow but was pushed into.

"He was really fond of you," I told Marisol, feeling sympathetic for her part. It must be a tough blow for her to suffer another loss but I couldn't comprehend her pain, not on a personal level. "He never gave up on you. He harassed Jake daily about his idiocy for letting you go. Trust me, not a day went day without his constant reminders."

Marisol was still speechless and I noticed her eyes glistened. Was she going to cry again? Leah was at her side instantly. Kim was awkward and hesitantly stood up only to sit back down, feeling safer at a distance, like I.

"I'm fine," she choked up. "I'm just shocked. He was a hardy man, he shouldn't die so soon. He ought to have lived longer." She hugged Annie closer, like a teddy bear, before abruptly loosening her grip and letting her slide off her knee and propping her onto the clean kitchen floors.

"I… uh… how… was the funeral?"

"It was nice, small, right on the beach, with a beautiful sunny day, just like he deserved. He would've loved it."

Marisol nodded. "I should've been there. He was a father to me. He was a lot like my dad. He loved football, outing, and enjoyed the comfort of home, something I rarely got to enjoy. I miss that, going inside a house and feeling warm and easy. He brought a lot of good memories for me."

I don't think Marisol wanted to know the devastating details of how he died so we remained quiet, leaving her alone to her thoughts.

"Well there's no point dreading on the past. I'm glad he's at peace. I'll have to pay my respects before I leave. I'll ask Jacob before I go where he's buried." She wiped some traitorous tears from her face and we all offered her some solemn smiles but she didn't notice. Her mind was off somewhere else.

"Well going to back to where he put your stuff…" Kim awkwardly began.

"No, no," Marisol interrupted, leaning forward onto the table, setting her row of cards down and stared at us intensity. "I want to hear what else happened when I gone. If Jake can't tell me, and trust me he had the chance to with the four days I've been cooped up in this place, I want to hear it from one of you. You owe me that much," she demanded in a cool voice. It was unnerving.

All of sat down and set our cards down, for no longer was play time anymore and Annie knew that. She, from Kim's stern glance, knew she had to go away and ran upstairs to Claire's room to do whatever the room had to offer.

"You have yet to tell us what went down after you left," Kim countered but her voice was meek. Mine would be, too, because both Leah's and Merris' eyes were set into a fatal stare.

"We'll trade. You'll tell me one thing, and in return, I'll answer one of your questions." She sounded seriously and I was getting colder by the second.

"I don't know where to start…" Kim nervously replied.

"I do," I announced. "What happened after you left? What was your plan when you were on your own?"

Leah never gave me specific details and my curiosity was chewing at my insides.

"I stayed with a friend for a few months while she helped me with some papers. I got a new identity, and we planned on giving my baby a new start, too, so he wouldn't have to be tied back here. He needed a normal life with normal people. My goal was to keep him away from strange as possible. My new name wasn't special, just an anagram, I guess. I wanted to make sure my last name wasn't any how connected, at the risk of being found out. I planned on the name Chris or Charlie, in remembrance for my father. During the while, I stayed low. I rarely got out of the house. I had hoped when the baby was out, Taylor's mom could pull off as the real mother until I finished my schooling and afterwards I would move to another state, where the law could no longer get me since I was eighteen. I never got the chance, because on the few nights I got out to a movie, a drunk hit us on the side and the impact was too great for my stomach. I fell into a depression, numb, and fell into a bland routine, until I realized I was going nowhere. I lost interest in life and was this close to ending it all," she made an inch with her fingers and Leah looked down on the table to hide her face. "Even Leah couldn't help me. She was stuck in Seattle and only could do so much. She had hid my secret but that's about all she could do from the other side of the country. My boss found me and offered a job. It allowed me to travel and since it was classified, no external agency would interfere and jeopardize my cover. I felt safe and secure. But then…"

We waited for her to continue but she ended it there. "There, one question answered, now your turn to tell. How did Jake react when I left? How has he been? He hasn't been talking to me, which I don't know if it's bad or a blessing, and I doubt he would, so could you do the courtesy of filling me in?"

I wanted to scream, why would she care? She has done nothing but torture the guy's soul. As if she generally cared, I betted she was looking for information to use against him. My feelings might've shown on my face because she narrowed her eyes on me and I felt a shiver run down my spine.

Leah didn't share my thoughts as she openly exposed Jake's tribulations.

"He's a zombie, working his ass off at the shop to keep this house afloat. He manages but still, it takes the majority of his profits. It's too much space for him, Marisol. And the fact 90% of this place is empty tortures him. He really wants someone to welcome him home, to share his bed, to fill these extra rooms with kids. Family is really important to him and welcomes the whole pack into this- well excluding me for the obvious reasons- into this house. But you should see his office because he a boat load of pictures of-"

"LEAH!" I hissed. As if I'd let her expose that vulnerable side of him.

"She asked and she deserves an answer."

Marisol's face contorted into obvious suspicion. "What about the office?"

Marisol's POV

I didn't know what to think, how to react, or what to do. I was overwhelmed. I didn't know what the office looked like but I didn't think of it as a big deal, not until I was greeted by my own face.

My own face from 6-7 years ago, sprawled all over his desk and walls. I swore the room dropped in degrees from the coldness of those memories printed around us. Though there were as many pictures of the rest of the pack, Bella (the ones I made a point to either a, glare at, or b, avoid), Billy, the ones that seemed to pierce the deepest part of me and spark tears that I had hoped the dim lighting hid, and even some other Cullen family members. It all reminded me of the ghost of my past life that seemed to haunt me everywhere I went and I was finally staring face-to-face with it.

It all seemed to cave on in me and the numerous eyes behind me, examining me, perhaps even dissecting me, only added to my shame.

Looking at me from the lenses of a camera really wrote a different perspective on myself now. There was a significant difference, no doubt, from my naïve self to what I became later in life. My smile was wide, open, and free. It wasn't forced as I sat between Embry and Quil on Jake's front steps. I was so at ease with the two, at the point I trusted them, just like I did with Jake. The harsh reminder slapped me into the face. How easily I could have left myself vulnerable with them, any of them.

Yet another question slipped into my mind, too.

We were all alike at some point. Not a care in the world and all accepting of changes because we could depend on each other. Why did that change? I knew when but never could understand why. They could trust me but for some reason, banished me, but for what? I managed to push those thoughts away a long time ago but now that I'm back, the curiosity was really itching at me.

I understood why Jake did. It was me or Bella and since he couldn't have both, he put his bets on Bella over me. But why were the rest of them willing to join his side? What did I do that convinced them I was bad?

I set the picture down before it could take any more hits on my personal wall that I worked so hard to heighten to protect the little girl inside of me. They already wounded me enough. The memory alone could destroy a person. It almost killed me.

"Are you alright? Marisol?"

Her voice didn't register as I got the hell out of the room. I needed to escape. Leah's reflexes caught me right before I was too far. I didn't turn around.

"Merris, please, what's wrong?" She pleaded.

I couldn't let the past go. That was the problem. I took a deep breath and fell into her arms as my heart, heavy and hard, weighed me onto the ground. Kim and Olivia circled around me, staring bewildered at my pathetic state.

My legs curled up on the hard wood. As uncomfortable as the cold surface was, my body was numb and I couldn't motivate myself to stand up. I felt that low so I might as well get comfortable on the ground, ready to get trampled again.

"Merris, Merris, listen to me, baby. I got you. Don't worry about anything else! I swear it'll get better."

Her words used to work for me before but reality was stronger than her grip. I knew it wasn't. I didn't belong here and as cowardly as running away was, I considered it. I ran away from my problems once before and it worked out. Why would this time be any different?

"Everybody says all's fair in love and war. Didn't they consider prisoners or causalities of war? Those who invested too much and lost everything? Nothing's fair in love and war. I was one against something so much stronger than I and took everything I had. I had to start fresh but have to be reminded of what could've been if the outcome was different. I can't do it again. Don't you think I'm already taunted enough?"

Kim and Olivia looked down in shame. I averted my eyes toward the deep brown of the stained floors.

"I was young, naïve, and vulnerable. I threw away every lesson I had learned in California for the sake of love. I took a risk because I thought Jacob was worth it. He insisted he'd never hurt me, that he was there for me. He fooled me. Everyone should have the right to trust somebody but he took that from me. That's why I'm so screwed up. Why couldn't he just tell me the truth? That he loved someone else? I'd rather accept that than feel ashamed for being so damn gullible. Now I feel like the biggest idiot out there. I question every move I make because I worry it might be the wrong one."

"I used to be so confident. I could walk somewhere or nowhere and feel like I'll be just fine if something goes awry. That's all changed. I can't take someone's word without thinking about any ulterior motives they could possibly have. I wish life could back to basics and be simple where answers could be answered with a yes or no, when you KNOW somebody, that everything was written in bold instead in fine print. Yeah, yeah, I know that's unrealistic but… I hate when you have to look over shoulder when you try to move forward. It's tiring. Why both trying when you know you make it around the corner?"

"All the men in my life are gone. My father, the one who protected me from all the gore of life, died in the bloodiest way possible, wrapped around a tree. His body was unrecognizable. And you know what my mom got out of it? A two million payoff from the insurance policy, that's what. None of which even was passed to me like he intended for. I don't care about the money though. I lost my protector. That's the day I had to toughen to protect myself. Something a ten year old shouldn't have to do. My second father died and I couldn't even attend his funeral like I should've. I didn't even say goodbye. That is awful and I deserve the guilt for it. My first love, the one I put everything I have up front for, stomped on me the moment he saw someone else. It's not so much that he left me for another girl that upsets me but the audacity that he didn't tell me, it was something I had to find out all on my own, and it hurt like hell that I wasn't even worth being honest, too. That was being used and pushed around like a rag doll."

"I was raised better than that. That's why I'm so bitter, if you're wondering. Not only because he left me on my own, I can take of myself though perfectly fine, but also because I was treated like I was the one who did the unthinkable, that I was shunned for something I shouldn't be. I hate being the scapegoat for some else's mistakes."

Kim and Olivia stared at me with sorrowful eyes, unable to comment on my sad standing.

"Oh, don't be pitiful. Olivia, you've been scrutinizing me since the day I arrived. You blame me for Jake's sad state. You don't get he chose this for himself and he has to face the consequences of his actions. I did nothing and you blame me for that. Like hell I was going to do anything else for him. He made it clear he didn't want anything else to me. I wasn't going to lend a helping hand when I know he was most likely going to bite it off. Kim, I don't know what you're standing on this is but you and I never really knew each other. You're only impression of me was of that of a spoiled rich girl who got everything she wanted. You didn't reach out to me as a friend. In fact you kept your distance and hid behind Jared." I shook my head. "I'm not condemning you, I'm just stating the fact that you don't need to feel anything for me. You and I shared nothing."

"But Merris," her bottom lip trembled. "If I would've known…"

I cut her off, "if being the key word. You didn't. That's alright. I don't hate you. I actually envy you. You have a good life, a good husband I heard, and a son. Everything I want but I won't take my frustration on you. A lot of people have what you have. I'm just one of the unlucky ones and I'll deal with that as life goes on. Be happy of what you have. Don't dwell on my case. Like Jacob described me as once, I'm toxic. I'm no good. I'd hate to ruin your happiness."

I knew I sounded like a bitch, like I cared anymore. I'm tired of being smothered by everyone in this town like an attraction. I wanted to be left alone and separate from my past mistakes they can't help but force on me.

"Merris," Leah tried to sooth.

"Leah, you've been the best friend that any girl is lucky to have. I appreciate how you're always there for me, how you didn't listen to the bullshit Jacob gave you."

"Ditto," she mumbled into my head.

"But I'm disappointed how you didn't let go of the drama that I dragged around. You needed to get on with your own life instead of trying to help with mine. This is my mess, not yours. And it's my duty as a friend to tell you what's good for you. This right here," I don't know what this was because of so many elements and webs that made up this whole situation. "This right here is poison. You have your own demons and you won't take up any more of mine. Do you understand? I will not allow you to try sort out my clutter of a life, okay? Focus on your own."

Leah nodded and hugged onto me tighter.

Kim and Olivia kept their distance, awkward and unprepared. I didn't blame them. This whole situation got out of hand and too many people got too caught up. It needed to be finished, resolved, and buried. I gulped, knowing what I had to do.

"This has gone on for too long. I will admit it's partly my fault. Jacob and I never really ended this for good. There are too many loose ends and unresolved issues. He and I may not have worked out but at least we could've set things straight instead of this… too many people got involved. This is just between him and me." I took a breath.

Oddly, my heart was even. My pulse was steady. Not at all was a nervous, maybe because I was numb or maybe because I wasn't weighed down anymore. Sure, I was on the ground, but was I sobbing? No, maybe I was stone cold and stiff but my face had yet to be stained with tears. It felt easy talking, especially when every word seemed to ease my worries. I felt prepared. That was something new for me.

"I will sort it out. Just between him and me tonight, like the adults we should be. This matter shouldn't be prolonged any longer."

Kim, Olivia, and Leah all exchanged different looks. Kim was surprised but nonetheless happy, Olivia looked relieved but I noticed how tight her eyes were, she was still weary. This didn't dim my strengthening ease. I couldn't see Leah's expression nor did I want to. I knew her enough to know she thought it was a bad idea but she had her own issues with Jacob that wasn't really a priority with her to resolve unlike mine. He had been haunting me for too long and we needed to solve our personal crises.

"Everybody just go home, please. I'll be fine. I promise by tomorrow it'll be alright for both Jake and I." That's what they wanted, for Jake to finally go on, and despite my personal morals and beliefs, I would give him that one last favor. Maybe the pressure got to me or maybe I needed this, too, to get his perspectives on things.

What I really need was his explanation, some closure, to end this difficult chapter.

"Are you sure?" Leah questioned.

"Just go."

Leah heeded my warning and got up. She hesitantly let me and waited a second for me to get on my feet but I felt fine on the floor but I at least lifted my head for the ground. Kim gave me a solemn nod and guided Leah out the door. Olivia was stuck, not knowing what to do.

"Do you need help?" She offered.

I shook my head. "Go with them, Olivia. You don't need to be anywhere near here. This is between Jake and I. Please," I tried to sound polite by my nerves were coming back and Olivia's scared eyes weren't helping.

I struggled to get up. My mind was running a mile a minute and I didn't want to get started with planning when I wasn't sure where to start.

Olivia stood over me, nervous and scared. I shot her an annoyed look.

Her jaw tightened and her body inched towards the door. I waited for her to make the final move out the door.

"The wine is in the left covert by the fridge," she offered. I nodded, fully aware of it.

"Bye Mary!" Annie exclaimed, giving me one last hug. Kim gave me a shameful smile above the little girl. During the rush, she had forgotten Annie had taken refuge upstairs. "Feel better!" The little girl planted a wet kiss on my face before Kim lead her outside. Kim didn't say anything to me, just gave me one last hopeful look before closing the door behind them.

I let the saliva linger on my skin for a second before I brought up my sleeve to my cheek to wipe it off, only to smear it some more. It didn't bother me much, on contrary, it made me smile.

At least she gave me something to look forward to...

I hurried up the stairs to switch clothes. To give a good impression to the girls, I wore some expensive skinny jeans and a designer blazer but slowly I was being suffocated in the thick material. I shook my head. I shouldn't have bothered buying this crap. It's not like care anymore about first impressions seeing as I don't make personal connections. I'm much more comfortable in lazy sweats and an oversized tee-shirt. But I didn't pack some on this trip, unfortunately, so I settled with soft Victoria Secret gray shorts and a faded, over-washed purple loose, long sleeved throw on.

I brushed my teeth, cleansed my face, and brushed out my lazy curls until my hair fell in uneven waves that I pulled back into a messy, effortless bun. I then continued back down stairs where I stopped in the middle of the kitchen.

I was so unprepared and had no idea where to start. What the heck was I going to say? Would Jake even participate? What would he want to know? What would I want to know? Could I face the truth and the slap of the past? Was I prepared for this?

While all these doubts swirled in my head, I fetched a bottle of red wine. It was much better than dry wine. It gave a sour coating to your throat and ruined your taste buds while red wine had a rich taste that I much preferred. Of course, I could always settle with a shot, but I'd need something slow for tonight to last me. I made sure to pour a little bit longer than I should so the glass was half full. I took a slow, long slip to savor the undiluted taste of aged grapes and set the glass down onto the counter.

Would this whole "talking" thing work?

My mind slipped back to a few years ago to a different scene, in a different kitchen.

The own generic granite was faded and chipping but that didn't stop me from supporting myself on it. My hands needed to grab something before my legs collapsed on me. Everything hurt within me. My heart was heavy and sore, just like my stomach from all the sobbing I've done in the past hour. My head was the worst to experience pain, as the growing ache gnawed at everything it could. The back of my neck had a pitiful pinch from the recent fall on the hard wood floors.

Jake had yet to arrive but Billy let me in to wait which I appreciated. The cold was brutal and I didn't need that to be added on "the crappy factors of today" list I've made since that morning. Billy tried to check up on me a few times but the old man needed some sleep so I brought him upstairs to his bed, despite his hellish state. I will never forget the look he gave me. He felt so sorry for me and yearned to wipe my face of tears I refused to shed around his presence. He didn't need to worry about my issues. I wouldn't let him get mixed up in my mess.

Minutes after so, I found myself trembling in pain, leaning again the counter just to stand when all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball. I locked my teeth together to hold back a cry of pain when I felt the inevitable snap happen in my back. I was given no choice but collapse on the weary tile floor. My breathing became haggard, trying to control my volume as the pain increased. I would not cry, I would not cry, I would not cry, I tried to convince myself but easier said than done.

I heard the door open and my heart leapt. Jake was here! I tried to turn my head but I found out painfully that I had to keep it still to halt to pain. His footsteps were loud and short, as I predicted, and suddenly stopped in front of the kitchen entry. His breath hitched before crying out my name.

"Shh," I hissed at him as he made his way to me. "You'll wake up Billy."

"What happened to you?" He didn't lower his voice like I had asked.

"What do you think?" I snarled. I didn't mean to be testy but the events of the day made me on edge. "Mom got angry with me and decided to shove me around a bit, nothing out of the ordinary."

He tried to touch but even as only his fingertips skimmed my arm, by luck he aimed at a fresh bruise and waves of pain diverted from that spot all the way up to my arm. I jerked back in response but it only enhanced the sensations. "Son of a bitch," I hissed hoarsely.

"I'm so sorry, Merris. I'm so sorry," he pleaded. His hands twitched to envelope me but glared at him to make the point that was the opposite of what I wanted.

"Where were you? I tried calling you." I tried to hold back tears but for some damned reason, they came up. Jake noticed and his eyes dropped to the ground in shame.

"I was gone scouting with Leah, I'm so sorry."

Rule #1 in lying: Don't involve other people, or mention any names, that could be investigated. I already knew this. I had called Leah in the first place. That's what best friends are for! And she answered right away. So no way she was scouting, nor was she with Jake. I bit my tongue to hold this back. I didn't want any more trouble so, screw it, and let him have the benefit of the doubt.

"At least you're here now," I gave in. I just needed someone to listen, and as upset and disappointed as I was at Jake, he was the only one here who understood and I wasn't going to drive that away.

"Yeah, I am. Do you want to go upstairs? Do you need-?"I had caught off Jake's ramblings.

"No, no, I'm fine. I'm just a little sore. I just, can I, well, I could really use a bed. My back needs some cushioning."

Jake was gentle enough with me when he lead me with a few steps to the ratty, old couch but it looks like heaven's clouds to me. I fell into it with ease. He stayed by my side after he laid a couple of layers of thin blankets over my frail body.

"What exactly happened, honey?"

"She didn't like me hanging out with you or Seth, apparently that makes me a slut, and we got into an argument about it. I told her to back off and just to spite me, she shoves me. I shove her back. She took it too far and pushes me down the stairs. How convenient they were nearby." I sourly spat. I can remember the cold cement and the anxiety I felt. I got paranoid about blood and assumed the thin ray of heat from the vent was actually the warmth of blood and the cold spots on my body were internal openings, letting all of my life-source out onto the gray, icy ground. It took me minutes until I regained my sanity back and got the hell out of there.

I didn't let Jake know about this. I didn't know why.

Now recalling that moment, I still didn't know why I didn't tell him. Maybe it's because the gore was too much for me to explain or maybe I didn't want anyone, even Jake, to think I was overdramatic.

He tried to hug me but I shrugged him off. I may have given him the benefit of the doubt but I was still hurt. I was hurt he wasn't there to protect me, to pick me up from the cold and warm me up. I was hurt that he lied to me. I was angry that I couldn't depend on him.

What I thought were a few stray tears escalated to full on sobs. My hands shook around the glass wear and my legs shook. I would've collapsed if it wasn't for the body behind me.

His hands wrapped around my narrow waist and held me close to his chest. His chin rested on shoulder and his mouth whispered sweet words to my ear. "I'll be alright, Merris. I'm right here. Don't cry."

My hand covered his that laid over my stomach. I smiled, despite my overload of emotions, and nuzzled closer to him. His warmth was very much appreciated.

"Thanks Seth," I murmured though my voice was a bit strained into a whisper. "How'd you get in without me knowing?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'm sly like that," he teased. The laugh I offered back was pathetic but he still tried to cheer me up anyways.

"I would've come earlier but Leah told me when I was half way here that it solely a girl's night and I don't want to put my gender in question." I really laughed at that one. "I got you roses while I waited."

I turned around to face him and saw the large bouquet behind his back. I bit my lip in excitement, while using my free arm to wipe my cheeks and dab my eyes. He pulled the beautiful display from his back to in between us. I gasped in surprise at its various colors. Yellows, Pinks, and whites, I didn't think that was possible.

"It's beautiful, Seth!" I took the flowers from his grasp and laid them onto the counter so they wouldn't get crushed in the massive hug I gave him. "Thank you so much!" We didn't let go for the longest time, just enjoying the peace of that moment. I was so amazed that Seth would do such a thing for me. He is, definitely, the most sincere and sweetest man alive.


	10. Chapter 10

"No problem, Merris." He mumbled into the flesh of my neck. I didn't consider the invasion of space. I just felt so enlightened that someone had thought of me and went out of their way for me. "Are you okay now or do you want to talk?"

"No, no, I'm fine." I sniffled, wiping my nose with my sleeve. Yes, disgusting, I know, but Seth didn't care. "Just anxious, that's all."

He nodded and reluctantly let me go but kept a few inches in radius from me.

"Good to hear. Still, do you want to talk about anything? I don't want to leave you now or have an awkward silence."

I laughed and patted his cheek. "I don't know. My mind is jumbled, honestly. I'm nervous about what I'm supposed to say to Jacob. I'm hoping it'll be short."

"If that's so," Seth looked nervously around. "I should give you your personal time then." Just as he started to step aside I cried out for his to stop. He looked at me with a surprised expression.

"I don't want to be alone. Maybe we can, uh, practice? Like ask questions Jake would probably ask? Please?"

Seth thought for a second, with a hesitant expression, but ultimately smiled and agreed.

"So, he'll probably ask how you became a werewolf." Seth honestly said. I gulped.

"Can I avoid it?"

"You can try. But I'm kind of curious, too, on who did this to you."

"If I tell you, can you keep it hush-hush?" Seth nodded.

"Actually, you know, I'd rather not say. I don't remember half of it anyways. What you don't know won't kill you, Seth, and neither will Jacob." Seth gave me a harsh look. "I'm sorry, I really am, but how I became what I am stays between me and someone else. You shouldn't get involved, no one in general should."

I was so embarrassed and so ashamed. I'm already the scapegoat for La Push's main residence, I won't verify "slut" as their title of me. One stupid night and too much to drink lead to my humanity's ultimate demise. I was so stupid and Seth would never look at me the same. Nobody would.

"Marisol, I won't judge you." Seth whispered to me, stepping into my personal bubble again and placing both hands on either sides of me. His face was close that I could taste his breath. I parted my lips to say something but I was at a loss of words.

I've trusted Seth since I first met him and when he said those words, not once did I doubt them. Seth was probably the only man that had my back in La Push. Even as a boy, he always found a way to make me smile. Any girl would be lucky to have him.

I don't know what took control of me but within a second, the friend's line was crossed.

It was so wrong, I though later on. I shouldn't have messed with him. I shouldn't have given him any ideas. I'm such a terrible person. Lying about it to Jake said much more about the situation than the kiss itself. It was wrong and Seth and I both know that.

Yet during that moment, everything felt so right. His hands wrapped around my tiny waist while I stretched mine out to wrap around his neck that was much higher than my own height, even when I was elevated on the counter top. Our lips stayed connected for a few moments before his tongue dared to ask for permission into my mouth; I didn't decline the offer. One moment everything was innocent, gentle, but then kids turned into adults. No longer were we teenagers. No, we were grown adults in adult situations. His hands weren't small and were anxious to explore every inch of me while I succumbed to my own selfish desires. I let him do what he want while I indulged myself, too. I tried to mold myself as much as I could with his shape, so we were as close as we could be. I wanted his arms all around me and to never let me go. It felt so good to be wanted, to be desired and appreciated.

But at some point we needed to face reality aka Jake. During our intense climax were his hands were tugging at the hem of my shirt, the door conveniently opened. We couldn't separate fast enough. Seth stepped back wide enough to give us a 3 feet distance but we were still trying to regain our breaths and composure. My eyes were wide, so were his. I could only imagine what it looked like to Jake. We were kids caught with hands in the cookie jar.

Of course, we only separated when we heard the door open, so he didn't see our embrace but the evidence was obvious in the air and on our faces. We did something very bad. But I didn't Jake would know. He couldn't think enough to connect the dots, I had hoped.

Jake finally stepped under the arch of kitchen and stared at the both of us, confused. His face contorted, brows knitted together, trying to put together the few pieces of the puzzle but not everyone can think that fast.

"Uh," Seth awkwardly started, "I'll see you later Merris. Give me a call."

We nodded at each other respectively but we knew this wouldn't be the end of it. I would most certainly call him later tonight.

Jake watched him suspiciously as he left the house is hurry, embarrassed of course. I was certainly, too. My blush was redder than my wine. I calm my nerves down I picked up my glass and took in a long sip and avoided Jake's gaze. My heart was beating furiously and I was beyond scared.

"Merris," Jake started slowly and my breath caught in my throat. "Are you alright?"

Was I alright? Yes, I was fine. Actually no, I wasn't just fine. I was happy, excited, and… Too many emotions to describe but they were all because of Seth. Seth made me feel this way. But was I ready to face the consequences? Was I ready to face all my oppositions? Including Jake and the rest of the pack?

I know how the feel. I was meant to be with Jake because of the stupid imprinting process. And even then, they didn't want me to "hurt" him anymore, like everything was my fault. They certainly would be peeved if I jumped from Jake to Seth. Oh, that would be the worlds end, I thought sarcastically. If Jake didn't deserve me, I shouldn't deserve Seth. Jake was the only to be concerned about, huh. His happiness only matter, not mine. This stupid double standard really pissed me off. If he couldn't have me, no one could. That's how it was like. It all came down to Jake.

I scowl planted onto my face and I turned to face him for the first time. All this time I've been trying to avoid, hoping the less time I spent time with him, no more troubles would arise, that I could run from them. But no one can run from the truth, not even a professional like me. My emotions began to bubble up as I began to sort through my thoughts. What was reasonable or not to say? Screw it. Just let it all out, I persisted myself. All these years you wanted him to have it, to suffer the pain you did, and to let him know how much he hurt you. But would he care? He didn't back then. Why would this time be different?

"Merris, you're quiet. What's wrong?" His voice was laced with concern. His expression was void of his previous suspicion and now was critically worried, as if this was a life and death matter. Psh. He stepped into my face and pressed his palm onto my arm. I shook it off violently.

Within the second, with our faces so close apart, I stared into his eyes and wondered: What was he really thinking? What did he see in me? What did he want with me? Before I could stop myself, my hand acted on my anger and I could only stare at the damage the moment after.

Jake coddled his cheek in shock, unable to face me. I'm crazy, I cried mentally. I'm fucking crazy. I'm so screwed up. The smack! Repeated itself in my head and I couldn't help but cringe when it did. It was such an awful sound. I can't believe it came from me. I can't believe I slapped Jake. I mean, sure he's an ass, but he only came to me to help me, and I slapped him for doing so. Who's the bitch now? I am. I tried to apologize but I couldn't make a sound.

He took a deep breath but kept his eyes towards the floor. "I guess I deserve that." He picked his head up and faced me again with confidence. "I'm not mad, Merris. I swear I'm not. I get where you come from, why you want to hide secrets from me. I'm just, I was hurt, yeah, but can't we fix that?" He sounded strained, like he was exhausted.

I was appalled. If anyone ought to be exhausted, it should be me. I'm the one who lost a child, I'm the one who was attacked and left to die, I'm the one who lost my father and didn't get to say goodbye. Sure, he had tragedy in his life, but he had support from his friends. I had to go through it alone. I was denied the privilege of trust and I paid dearly for that.

I kept my mouth shut and tightened my jaw to keep from shouting at him.

"We need to be honest to each other. It's tough, to face the truth I mean, but once it's out, it'll be easier. We need to get over this bump." He tried to coax me.

I shook my head in pure disdain.

"You want the truth?" He nodded. "Here's the truth. I absolutely hate you." He cringed at my sterling words. "You ruined everything for me. You chased me out of my home, even though it shouldn't be considered a home, it still was my stability, and you stole that from me. I had to begin with nothing, with scratch. I thank God that I got by with what I could. And then to make it tougher, I had to care for a baby? How on earth could I care for a child, a helpless being, when I couldn't even get myself together? My life was a mess and I had to deal with that alone. Maybe it was fate that decided, 'Yeah, it's not time to introduce another being into this word. You're not ready.' Maybe the drunk driver wasn't an accident. Either way I lost my baby, too, and that was hell for me. I blamed myself to killing something that wasn't my fault at all. He, or she, was the only thing I looked forward to. I finally would have a purpose and they would love me unconditionally and I could redeem myself by teaching this fellow not to follow my steps. He would never have to suffer the way I did and I would feel satisfied with that, knowing I did something right for once and good would come out of it."

My throat burned, as did my eyes, as the tears poured out but I refused any kind of comfort. The pain was somewhat refreshing. It was a heavy burden keeping this to myself and letting Jake know it finally unloaded most of that off, but some, the rest that was my fault, stayed and reopened some old wounds. I was so used to it that that pain didn't bother me. It wouldn't last long, I reminded myself.

Jake stared at me with wide pupils and I stared back with narrowed ones. Why was he surprised? Did he expect any less of me? Was he satisfied?

"Would you have told me?"

I took a sip from my wine and swallowed the richness. It was soothing down my burning throat.

"In time," I said, keeping direct eye contact to watch his expression, "when he was grown enough to face adult problems. I didn't want to expose him to the drama when I could give him a relatively normal life." I grim smile grew on my face. "If you want to know, I would've named him Christopher, after my father. I would've put him in baseball, or football. Either way, he'd be a regular American boy. We'd live in a quaint little condo in the city where he could walk across the street to play with his friends at the park. I'd watch from the kitchen window and smile, knowing he's all mine and he's happy, a mother's dream indeed." I lifted my glass to mock a cheer. "If he'd ask about you, I'd say you and I didn't get along. I would spare him the dirty details. If he'd ask why you didn't come around, I'd tell him the truth that you didn't know he existed. If he asked to meet you, I would let him in a heartbeat. I may be a bitch, but I would never withhold anything from my son. You and I never got along but that shouldn't matter because I know you'd be a damn good dad."

Jake didn't acknowledge my credit towards him. He just stared at me with expressionless eyes that mimicked my stone cold stature.

"What if..?"

I raised a brow, waiting for him to finish.

"What if he inherited my werewolf gene?"

I swirled my glass, staring at the smooth, red substance before regaining my thoughts and looking back at Jake.

"I would send him to Seth." I set my lips on the glass rim and took in another deep sip, staring at Jake's changing expression. Within .006 seconds, the true devil within showed inside. He lips curled into a snarl and his eyes lit with a brooding fire. I felt something move inside me but it turns out, it was actually a sly grin slipping onto my face. I was getting a reaction out of him. He was upset. Bitchy, I know, but now he knows how frustrated I was. Juvenile, yes I can't deny it, but oh-so satisfying.

"Why?" He demanded. I noted his hands clutched into fist.

"I trust Seth."

"I'm his father."

"You also were in love with a vampire, practically obsessed with her. Like hell I would make my son endure her presence, too. I exposed him to enough as it was. Being a werewolf is a lot to take on, too. You know from experience."

"As do you," he shot back. I felt my heart dent but I ignored it. "How did that come to be?" His voice was even, cool, and calculated. Oh, so he wanted to take shots, sure, fine with me. I'll let him have it.

"I went out clubbing, something I did often after who-know-what happened. I just needed a distraction and dancing and alcohol did it. Just a friend and I went out to some new place in Boston. I got a little tipsy and flirted with a stranger at the bar. He offered me a good night," a grim smile at the thought of it. "Screw morals, I though. As if anyone cared. This would be a one night stand, probably wouldn't last longer than 3 hours. We'd do the deed and I'd call a cab and sleep off the rest of the alcohol at home. That was my plan. Well, I guess karma decided to get back at me. His place wasn't far, just some crappy studio apartment. I waited in his bedroom, this close to being passed out." I demonstrated with my fingers, separating my index and my thumb with an inch distance. "Next thing I remember I awake to the freezing cold. I was naked, poorly wrapped in a blanket, cut, scraped, bloody, and half blue, half from bruising and half from hypothermia. My shoulder was pretty messed up. I staggered to the highway I heard nearby. Some car picked me up and drove me to the nearest hospital where I miraculously healed. No explanations or theories but luckily for me, I was cleaned up and released twenty four hours later. The next week, during a full moon, I couldn't remember anything from that night. I just recall waking up in my bathroom with my mirror shattered." I laughed dryly, drinking my last sip of wine.

I jumped down from the counter to refill my glass but Jake's bulky body enclosed mine. I struggled against his grasp but his hold around me was much stronger than mine. His chin rested over my head and I cried out, shouted, yelled, called him every name in the book but he wouldn't let me go.

He didn't say anything but his breathing was haggard and difficult. I could hear his breath shake and stutter and I tried to keep mine even, like his voice was before.

I just gave up and fell limp in his arms. If he wanted to hug me, fine, but I wasn't going to return a favor.

"I'm so sorry Merris. I'm so sorry Merris. Please," he pleaded. Pleaded for what, forgiveness? I rolled my eyes.

"It's a bit too late for that, Jacob." I coldly replied. I saw a weak opening under his arm and squeezed under it. I walked behind me and leaned against the opposite counter. I watched his eyes glaze over with water. Pathetic, I thought. "So, what's your story after I left?"

Jacob Black's POV

"Let me go, bastard! Let me go! Get your hands off of me," Merris shouted. Even though each word hit me, just like her small fist did against my chest, I kept holding onto her squirming body. I didn't hold on before and she left; I wouldn't repeat that.

Suddenly she stopped fighting me but her breathing was still heavy, showing that her anger didn't dissipate like I had hoped. She stayed there for a minute and felt like everything was still and frozen in place. The air was chilly and a slow shiver ran up my spine. It wasn't a welcomed silence.

"I'm so sorry Merris. I'm so sorry Merris. Please," I tried to continue but my throat tightened and squeezed the words back down into my stomach where my they fluttered nervously.

She was devastated. I had ruined her life and she had every right to hate me because of it. I could've been there though, when she lost our baby. She needed me and wasn't there. I was a failure as a protector. She paid dearly for my incompetence.

"It's a bit too late for that, Jacob." Her voice was icy and goose bumps sprouted on the surface of my skin. And then she slipped out of my grasp from underneath my arms. I watched her with my peripheral vision. She leaned against the opposite counter and watched me with coal black eyes. Gone were her chocolate brown orbs, instead her deepest emotions took over.

Behind her black curtains, though, I knew how much turmoil she was suffering. There were so many unresolved problems hidden under her thin flesh. As tough and thick-skinned she tried to make herself be, there was no fooling me. She was scared of me, she was angry with me, but because of that fear, she couldn't confront me about these underlying issues that caused us both so much misery.

"So, what's your story after I left?" She instigated.

My throat was dry and I eyed the wine bottle behind her. I didn't go after it though. No, I wouldn't invade her space. She wanted distance for a reason. Subconsciously I rubbed my hot cheek. I learned my lesson. The sensation still stung and I winced at the reminder. Just thank God all you received was a slap. With all of her madness, you could've been stabbed, if she realized how close the knives were.

"I looked for you up and down. I waited a week here, hoping you'd come back, that it was just a stunt you pulled to get our attention, but when Friday passed, I knew you weren't coming back. You were done with La Push, with us, with me. I couldn't stand it. It drove me mad, to be away from you, not knowing if you were okay or not. I couldn't sleep, I called your phone every night just to hear your voice, even if it was recorded, I didn't care. I was a wreck. I convinced Edward to fly me out to Boston after I heard a rumor you went to live with your friend, Taylor. Embry came with me and we tried to talk to Taylor's family, secretly hoping you'd open the door," I said. My voice was pathetically desperate. Marisol unexpectedly interrupted.

"And what if I did? What if I opened the door? What you do?"

Her voice was barely above a whisper and I heard her stutter, like she was having a hard time coming out with the words.

I turned around to face her. Her face was hardened, opposite of what I pictured, hinted at her vulnerable voice. Words didn't matter to her. So many people lied to her she wouldn't believe anything I said. Words certainly wouldn't touch her stone heart.

I took a step forward, closing a huge gap between us, and gently touched her arms. Her eyes twitched with an emotion her black orbs quickly devoured.

"I would get down on one knee and beg you to come back. I can't tell you how many times I would apologize for you to believe but trust me I will apologize until you do forgive me. What do I need to do? I'll do anything!"

She lifted her head and shook some banes out of her face to stare directly at mine.

"The damage is done, Jacob. No "sorry" will fix this. I moved on. I moved on from the drama, from the excuses, and from you. I'm sorry that it had to come to this but the best thing for you to do is to move on, too. Find someone else if you so desire. I'm easily replaceable." I shook my head furiously.

"No, you're not! I need you, Merris! We're meant to be!"

She scowled. "No, you proved a long time ago that this "meant to be" thing could be overcome. For heaven's sake, you defied the laws of nature, and pursued a vampire!"

Here words with bitterly coated with disgust. Her faces scrunched together though still remained attractive in doing so. Are all Californian girls like that?

I realized we didn't need to talk about the absent years but the underlying years that lead to the separation, the issues we needed to sort out.

"Fine, let's go back to all of that," I said. "Let's discuss all of these issues we always avoided. You have such a problem with Bella, let's talk about her."

Marisol stiffened and I suspected she would back down (not something I'd let her do) but she stepped forward angrily, making me step back, too.

"Let's," she challenged. Something in her eyes scared me. They were blazing a black fire that consumed most of my confidence.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, Edward's words reminded me. At that point I realized I dug my own grave.

"Why'd you go after her in the first place?" She stabbed her finger into my chest. The sad thing was that this was probably her only willing physical contact with me. Under different circumstances I'd be enthusiastic but I was afraid as the tone of her voice heightened. She was very heated. I just had lit the match that would burn me up alive.

Remember, Jake, you have to go through the worst to get to the good, I told myself.

"I've known her my whole life, Merris. We've spent our summer's together making mud pies. No way in hell was I going to let her screw around with a vampire. He could hurt her and I wasn't going to let him do that. I would've done anything to change her mind."

Her eyes narrowed into slits, almost like a cat, but she wasn't grinning like one. She was going in for the kill.

"So you were playing her to distract her from Edward?"

"No, no. I developed feelings for her along the way. It became way too personal and I got caught up in it." She crossed her arms over her chest and I look down, ashamed.

"What about me? Did you ever think about me while you were chasing after her? Why would you rather spend time with her than me?"

"I, uh," I couldn't stare her in the eyes. She was past crying, I realized. Her tears had dried up within the six years we've spent apart. She's done crying over me. Did she feel anything for me anymore, other than obvious bitterness I see perfectly sketched all over face? "I thought because of the imprint status that'd you always be there, in the background, waiting for me." I sounded so selfish but then again, it was truth and I didn't want to lie to Marisol anymore. She'd ask for it and even if I wanted to protect her, it wouldn't resolve anything. We had to pass this obstacle that's blocked us for so long.

She kept her cool stance but her eyes transitioned into a different black, no longer burning but glazed over with another emotion. It was an unnerving feeling.

"Let's say you did get her away from Edward and she fell deep in love with you. She depended on you and you two had a chance at a happily ever after. Would you trade me in for her? How would've we resolved that?"

She propped herself onto the counter and stared me down.

My throat turned dry. I didn't know how to counter that question. I never thought about. I didn't even have an idea how I would've approached it. I guess I was that naïve back then, never thinking things through. But she was the opposite, calculating, cold, and critical. Maybe it has something to do with her abusive, alcoholic mother, and how she barely got a carefree childhood. The only time she lightened up with when we played football on the beach, cliff diving, like most teenagers did. She got especially affectionate when we'd cuddle on the couch and…

Don't go there Jake, I reminded myself. This is not the time to think about sex. That's the last thing she wants.

"Jake," she demanded harshly. I winced. "Can you answer that or not or did you not even think about it?"

I shook my head, unable to give her answer she needed.

"So you're saying you didn't even think of me. I wasn't even in the picture? It was all about Bella. You totally would've forgotten me."

I tried to swallow. "You would've found someone that would've treated you good."

The words felt sour coming from my tongue and I knew that those very words would've assured my grave. I gave her an answer that I can't take back.

Marisol surprisingly only shrugged, like she was satisfied with my response. Did she know that I screwed up? Was she milking my anguish?

"Tell me then, Jake, why on earth you feel like we should get back together? Why should I up and move everything I worked so hard to gain for you, the very man you made me lose it in the first place? Why should I bother with you when you didn't have the decency to think about me when you were after another girl, assuming I'd wait here like a pitiful dog? Think about that, Jake, before we speak about anything else."

She jumped off the granite and walked out the kitchen. She gave me one last disappointed look and a shake of the head before heading upstairs. Her steps were delicate, light, and almost silent, like a ghost, I wouldn't have noticed her if I hadn't watched her leave.

My feet felt like lead as I also exited the room and plopped onto the couch. I left the TV off while I thought for a long while about the situation at hand.

Marisol and I didn't accomplish anything except that both of us have different minds set on different resolutions. I want reconciliation, to redeem something I was too young to know the importance of, and she's dead set on absolutely no second chances.

I know I hurt her and her argument made understandably good sense but we're both hurting and we're getting nowhere if we don't try to compromise and at least understand the other's perspective. I may not be able to explain all that went through my head but for her I'd give my damned best.

I heard her come back downstairs and my head perked up to watch her hurry down. She had changed from her pajamas too fitted jeans and a white V-neck shirt, covered by a thick winter jacket. Her hair was loose and fell over her shoulder. I was surprised she didn't add any make-up with the total change.

I raised a brow, silently asking what she was dressed up for. Her void expression didn't change when she faced me.

"I'm going to Leah's place to talk to Seth."

I gaped as she took her tote bag and walked out the door. I didn't want to admit it, it stung too much, but those two were much closer than I was, and suspected that maybe they've crossed the lines.

No, no, don't think about it Jacob. Marisol said it herself at the restaurant, she didn't see Seth that why. Plus the two didn't smell like it. She had her own scent, thank god. She'll cool off at his place, with Leah's supervision, I might add, and tomorrow we might make better progress.

"Merris is staying over. She's tired," is what Seth texted me a few hours later. I desperately pushed that "other" possible meaning of that could be out of my head and strived to believe innocently.


	11. Chapter 11

"I guess I'll, uh, go. I'm going to see Kim with the kids." Emily excused herself, passing us with a worry full look. No doubt she was probably going to seek help.

"No, no, don't move them. They just went to sleep. Marisol and I will go to the woods to talk this out."

In a hurry, I followed him to the side yard where a rugged path was being carved with a narrow opening to the dense forest. Emily watched with wide eyes, not sure of what was going to happen, and I'm sure neither did Sam until I saw how cool and calculating his eyes were when he glimpsed back at me. He was planning something and it got me unnerved. Before he could make the first move, I shot off first.

"You suspected something, didn't you, when I first came here? That's why you didn't like me. That's why you advised Jacob to stay away from me. I didn't understand why, I just assumed it was because of this complicated wolf thing you all had going on, but it didn't add up, because of the imprint factor. I let it go and let you have your paranoia but now I know why! I can't believe you hid it from me!"

Within the short minutes I had driving here, I pieced together all of it. Sam knew damn well about me. He knew about my true origins. Why would he want to keep it a secret? How could keep it from me? I deserved to know the truth but I had to find out the hard way. It opened painful wounds to know he kept my own identity from me, heck, even a family, if Embry and he even count.

Sam didn't try to deny it. "How'd you even figure it out?" I interrogated.

His jaw locked. "Calm down, Marisol." He dared to order me.

"Hell no, I'm not calming down until I get some God damned answers right now! I deserve it! Years of hell, years of confusion and hurt and you could've helped me out by telling me the truth but for some God forsaken reason you didn't. Why? Why didn't you?"

"It wouldn't have made a difference. You lived one life. There is no reason to make it more complicated."

"Oh, you'll get complicated after we clear this mess up. Answer me, Sam, on why I didn't deserve to know the truth."

"It would hurt a lot of people. The news is better left covered. You don't know how everyone is connected to it."

"Enlighten me, Sam. Like how," I circled around him.

"We don't need to turn everyone's world side down. We all have family secrets and I'd rather not have them question all they know."

"That's exactly how I'm feeling! I've been living a God damn lie and somewhere, my father, our father, possibly killed my mother, my real mother, who was taken from me! God damn it! I had a loving home. Screw the money, luxury and the fancy clothes, all I ever wanted was a happy home and I had it at one point and I can't even remember it! You don't know how that feels! You have a mother who loved you, father or not. That's all I ever wanted."

"And you'd have the same reaction if I had told you six years ago. I'm telling you, you were better off not knowing. Nothing good can come out of it."

"So what," I challenged. "It's better than being in the dark. I've felt so alone and lost and confused and this could've really helped me out figure out how the hell I ended up like this."

"I'm sorry to hear that," he said bitterly, "but get over it. You're a grown woman and you need to act like it. It's all in the past now."

"No, it's not. I need to know about my past and so help me God you better fill me in."

He sighed. "Fine, what do you want to know?"

"Who's Jenna Adler? How'd she know your father?" I purposely didn't acknowledge the man as mine. I had a father, Christopher, blood or not, that raised me until his last dying breath. Now he is a definition of a father, not some deadbeat who ran off on his family.

"I don't know. Our father," I cringed at the plural meaning, "wasn't a commitment type. He married my mom, sure, but had more than a few relations with other women, too, and Jenna fell for him charm, I guess."

"Why'd she run away to Montana?"

"I don't know. I didn't know her personally. I was only a kid then. I don't remember her being around. I'm sure she moved before I could even walk. From what I'm told from the elders, this place was too small and she needed an escape. She was a woman with bigger dreams than La Push itself. That's all I know."

"How'd you know she existed?"

"When I was alpha I consulted with the elder council, and her name was mention a few times but very rarely. I had to know the history and every individual here, including the ones that moved. They said she and my dad had a rendezvous. There was no mention of it resulting in a child but the imagination is still there. Nobody was sure because she had been cut off from the village a long time ago."

He looked at me with solemn eyes and it angered me some more that he looked at me with pity.

"When she died, because Samara and Dan had died, her aunts and uncles were notified. Henry and Quil senior were well aware of her death and of your existence, last name and all, but it said in her record that you were taken in by your aunt, who had also moved away around the same time Jenna did, but suddenly she showed up back here a decade after, with you, and they all knew who you really belonged, too. We didn't intervene because it would be too much of a shock. It was a well-kept secret."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"It didn't benefit you."

I growled and felt myself tremble. Not from the cold but from overwhelming emotions exploding underneath my skin.

"Look, I wasn't happy either, about this. My dad ran out on us for another woman, more than a few if you include Embry's mom. I had just discovered I had a sister and I couldn't confront you like I wanted to. I had to treat you like a stranger, no matter how much I wanted to protect you. I wanted to protect you from getting hurt, from this life style, knowing you came from a polished life that didn't ever have to deal with supernatural complications. But at the same time I couldn't let them know who you really were. It didn't hurt anybody."

"It hurt me."

"Only because you found out," he insisted. "If you didn't I'm sure you would've continued life like usual."

I found it hard to breathe as my throat constricted and my eyes blurred with hot tears. Sam stood awkwardly from a long distance, watching me with concerned eyes.

"You weren't supposed to know," he concluded.

I felt a pain in my back and bent backwards in agony. I leaned again the tree to keep standing but the pain spread all over.

Breathe Marisol, I reminded myself. Breathe. Calm down! But it didn't help as the torture continued throughout my sore muscle. Sam instantly came to my side.

"Merris," he shouted. "Merris, what's wrong?"

I tried to tell him to get away but I locked my jaw to hold in the cries begging to be heard. The pain and heat got so intense and my vision began to spot with black and tears.

I arched my back and thrashed around, once again relapsing into transformation. Please, I mentally prayed, please let it go quickly. I don't want to hurt anymore.

"Merris," Sam pleaded. "Thank of Leah, think of you dad, not ours, but yours, Chris! Think of them! Distract yourself!"

I tried to picture them but their faces blurred as pain took over again.

Please, I prayed. Please don't let it hurt. Please let it pass.

I don't remember my transition for there but my vision jumped back in afterwards. I found myself rising from the ground on four legs and feeling unnaturally tall. My eyes met with coal black ones staring down at me with height and more intensity than my own.

I was mystified. Not once have I recalled an 'experience' but for some reason I did. I had some mental control and when I realized I had it, I focused to keep it, staring at the eyes as a focus point.

We didn't back away from each other but stare as if we came to a mutual understanding but I didn't know what. He looked confused, anxious and almost yearning but I was just as confused as he was about what. I stood my ground, unsure of his intentions. Sure he was intimidating, large with solid black fur, like mine, but his eyes were regretful and apologetic.

I made a yip and his ears perked at my sound before barking back. I didn't understand it what he was saying but his excited body language made it clear he was nervous. He barked again but I stood silent, unsure how to reply not knowing what he meant. His ears bent back and whined. His eyes bore deeply into mine, trying to establish a connection but I didn't receive.

A scent in the air caught my attention and I immediately thought of other wolves. I jumped at the thought and tried to run, assuming the other wolf would, too, but instead he maneuvered to block me, anxious to keep me in that spot.

My eyes trained onto a silver blur and a shiver ran up my body, feeling trapped. A snout rose above the brush a few feet around me and I faced a face, solid chocolate, and another behind me, an ashy gray looming figure, and a much lighter wolf following behind him. I whined and glanced around for any sigh of escape while the black wolf kept me inside, egging me to stay with him. He was crazy, I cried with a whine. I needed to get out of here! A snarl got me to jump out of my skin and I face a defensive gray wolf glaring at me with bared, razor teeth. The black one snapped back at it and it reclined back behind a tree but still within its sight.

I felt the air shift and within a flash, a rusty brown wolf stepped in front of all of them, snapping at the ones who dared to step forward and lunge at me. When his eyes met me, I felt my nervousness slide away. Ironically, I admired him and his unique beauty and color. He must have known and edged forward confidently to sniff me. I stayed in place though weary if I made any sudden movements.

Jacob Black's POV

I was on edge. The whole night I couldn't think of anything but Marisol and what on earth she could be doing with Seth. Did Seth kiss her? Did they take it farther? I tossed and turned the whole night and gave up after a few hours. During the early morning hours I spent all of time in the shop working on the cars. My frustration finished two trucks before the dead line. At least some good came out of it.

When she finally answered her phone, she replied in a rush answer that got my nerves jumping up and down. What was she up to? What was she hiding? I didn't know where she was and didn't know where to start to look for her so I stayed put at the house after my early work.

The phone ringing again made me jump in surprise and I rushed to pick it up.

"Hello?" I hoped it was Marisol.

"Jake," Emily's rushed voice cried. "It's Sam. Merris came by and she was so mad. They took off in the woods and I don't know what's happening. She's so upset and starting accusing Sam of something but she told me to stay out of it. I'm so worried."

"I'll be there in a minute! You stay right there, okay?"

I hung up and ran out the door as adrenaline ran through me and push me throughout that short mile. I caught Embry stepping out of his Chevy and he immediately called out for me.

"I need to see Marisol! She might be in trouble!" I yelled over the distance.

Something snapped in his expression and he bounded after me with hot heels. He was at my side in a matter of seconds.

"About that, I need to tell you what happened today." He started.

"Later," I cut him off. "I need to check that she's okay."

"Where is she?"

"At Sam's," trying to keep up speed.

Suddenly a whiplash of air hit my back and next thing I knew a brown blur sprinted passed me. Why did he phase? Deciding to follow his footprints, I phased, too, and trailed behind him quickly.

Why did you do that? I asked him using our mental connection.

This is not good, he replied. Let's hope they don't kill each other. Jake, you need to know what happened today. I was called in to give DNA. They had a breakthrough. Turns out Sam, Marisol, and I are all related. We share the same father.

WHAT! I lost my cool and jumped in front of him.

It's a really long story. I don't know even half of it. Marisol and Sam do, though, and she's not happy. If I have any idea what's going down, one of them is probably dead right now. You should get the others. I have the best chance at intervening seeing as I'm their brother.

No, I'll go. You get the others. I can take on Sam if he attacks because I'm bigger. I don't want you in the middle of this. I'll clear this up and afterwards you can explain it to all of us. I ordered. As alpha, Embry couldn't disobey and with a hidden scowl he sourly trotted in the opposite direction where Paul and Quil lived.

I ran from that point on the Sam's house at the end of the reservation where Emily met me. She paced across the deck anxiously staring in the direction of the woods. When she saw me, she lifted her finger and pointed in the same direction. I nodded my head and put my nose to the ground and picked up her scent. My ears picked up a noise from behind and picked my head back up to spot 2 more wolves alongside Embry racing towards my way.

We're coming, Jake! Quil said, beating Embry and plunging into the forest first. I was right behind him.

What's that smell? Paul asked. He lifted his nose in the air to catch the current that carried the scent. It's a new wolf!

It's Marisol, I corrected. They all shared a moment of silence I remembered the scent and stiffened. What set her off? I thought before the concern of her well-being overtook me. Her leg hadn't healed yet! I took off, with the rest of the guys' right behind me.

Look, she doesn't know us, and I'm certain she'll run if we trap her. We should all go around her in case she tries to escape. Quil suggested. The thought of trapping her outraged me. She was vulnerable and wouldn't help us if she felt threatened and scared if we cornered her.

Don't scare her! I ordered.

Some slowly, another voice warned us. I growled.

What did you do to her Sam? I demanded.

Nothing, I swear!

How is she doing? Paul asked.

I don't know. I haven't established a connection yet. We need her to join the pack or else we can't talk to her.

I can do it, I volunteered.

I have my sights on her! Embry yelled. No, Paul, stop, don't go any closer!

Back off, Paul. Sam barked.

Paul, what are you doing? Stop it! Whatever it was, he needed to stop. He could've hurt Merris.

Yeah, yeah! Quit yelling at me! I wasn't going to hurt her, Jake! Paul yelled back.

I bounded over the bushes and leapt into the middle of circle where everyone was positioned around. I looked around my surrounded, Paul to my left, Embry to my right, and Quil safely at a distance behind me, hidden by the shade of the towering trees. In front of me were two, identical solid coat coated wolves. I was amazed by their resemblance. Sam, of course, was taller but Marisol struck me with her gentle, slender frame. She kept looking around for an escape.

Sam made a yip at her and in response she flattened her ears and turned around to face each other. Her ears perked back up as we stared at each other a while.

Do you have a connection? Embry asked.

No, I can't read her. I stepped forward and she stiffened like a rock, waiting for me to sniff and walk away but I surprised her by rubbing my muzzle in her neck. When I pulled away she tilted her head and stepped forward to keep the close distance we had. She walked around me, examining me, to conclude if I was safe or not.

What is she doing? Quil questioned.

Just when I thought it was all okay, Paul, being the dumbass he is, stepped forward and spooked her. She, like any other wild animal, responded with a snap at his throat. He had quick reflexes though and jeered back in time. She growled at him and crouched, weary of all his sudden movements.

Idiot, I yelled at him. She could've hurt herself.

Really, I almost had my throat ripped open and you're worried about her? What, afraid she'll chip a tooth? Paul sarcastically remarked. I glared at him, coming out as a snarl from my own throat. Marisol jumped back to face me, afraid I was going to retaliate that she attempted to wound my comrade. Nah, Paul deserved.

Thanks, dude. That's really comforting. Paul would've rolled his eyes if he could.

Sam stepped in between us and comforted Marisol. She trusted him, I could see. His body language made it obvious he was looking out for her, not himself or us. She stepped into the opening he made possible and I wasn't fast enough. She leapt over Sam with such grace it caught me off guard and she took advantage of that millisecond I was frozen and broke through our barricade. Suddenly though she paused, like she reconsidered, and slowly edged back. She gave Sam a look.

His ears perked in surprise. He stood up alert.

Did you hear that?

Hear what? Embry asked.

Embry, come next to me.

Embry did as directed and slowly approached Marisol alongside Sam and looked at her with confused eyes. Sam barked at Merris, seeing if she'd respond to that. Her ears perked and her tail whipped the tree bark accidently. I don't think she noticed at she focused at Sam. Her eyes veered from Embry and Sam few times though.

Sam took a confident step towards her and made physical contact by poking her shoulder with his nose. Embry stayed in his spot.

She came back down to Embry where she sniffed him and then looked back at Sam for support. As for me, she stayed clear of me. I didn't know why.

She finds you intimidating, being the obvious alpha and all. He said, spitting out 'alpha' bitterly. I made no comment on that part of the sentence.

How do you know that? I asked.

I can read her body language. She feels okay as long as I'm here to protect her. Trust me, give her a reason, and she'll run like a bat out of hell. He explained while training his eyes to be on Merris.

Sure, Paul teased. I knew he was planning something but he hadn't decided on what.

Don't do it, Paul, or I swear…

He glared at Marisol, who returned a colder stare, and growled at me. How long will she be like this? She's wild. We can't talk to her. What's the point?

We're here so she doesn't get hurt, I said, keeping my eyes also on her.

Her head turned to face me and our eyes connected. She stood her ground while I stood mine, careful to keep distance. This was all new to her and I didn't want to alarm her. But at the same time, I didn't want her to attack me. I'm not sure if she remembered how we first met in wolf form, and I hoped she didn't, but if she did, she'd either a) get the hell out of dodge or b) retaliate. I knew from the quick snap she attempted at Paul they she could possibly do damage and I didn't want to put in a position where I had to defend my pack with force. I've seen first-hand how that went and I didn't want her to go through that again.

I subconsciously whined thinking about it and she jumped back.

Did you hear that? Sam all but yelled.

Hear what?

Her! Did you hear her!

Did you?

Yes!

What'd she say? I was excited and jumped up, anxious that she could actually talk with us through mind link.

She's asking what's wrong.

Marisol's POV

What's wrong with him? Was he hurt? Was he sad?

I was compelled to comfort him and tempted to step forward and nuzzle him but held myself back. That was too close to comfort and I wasn't sure how'd he react. I couldn't predict him and it unnerved me.

I looked at the black wolf for support on what to do but he only stared at me. I whined and whimpered, confused and frustrated on what to do in this situation.

Another wolf came to my side and nuzzled my neck. He was gray with black speckles over his skin.

It's alright.

What?

We looked at each in shock. Did I hear him right?

Did you say something? I thought, directed at him.

You can hear me? He asked back.

How can you do that?

Oh my God…

I heard that slight buzzing in my head again and shook it out but continued to stare at him.

Who are you? What's your name? I asked him.

Wait, you don't know?

Why? Should I?

Marisol, it's me, Embry.

I jumped back in surprise, losing the connection. I stared at him incredulously.

Marisol, are you still there?

Yes, I'm here. How can we talk? How is this possible? Why, I mean, how did you find me?

I don't know. I can't explain this kind of thing. We came here because we heard you were upset. I know why. Is it because of this new family revelation?

Sam hid it from me! I should've known! I should've known I had a family.

I know, it was unfair but at least you know now.

How can you be so calm? You just found out, too!

It's never bothered me. I'm happy that I have a brother and a sister. Aren't you?

It's not as simple as that, Embry. You may be content with this but this is just scratching the surface for me. I still have to figure out what happened to my mom!

I get it. You know I'll be here for you, right?

I turned silent. This was too overwhelming. I faced the black wolf, who I assumed was Sam. Here I didn't even recognize them all when it was so obvious to me now. I was puzzle to why Sam was acting like my protector here. We've never been close and all of a sudden he's watching me like a hawk, more like the pack, actually. Why would he care?

He's your brother, too, Merris. He cares but he has a hard time showing it. You're vulnerable and he doesn't want you to get rough housed, you know?

I ignored Embry and looked at who I supposed was Jacob. He stared at me with wide brown eyes that before amused me but now made me cringe. The feelings were still there, it was obvious. How could I, even for a second, admire Jake? How could I feel compelled to comfort him? It sickened me.

He's your imprint, Merris. Of course you're going to feel a connection! You two were meant to be.

Oh, shut up Embry! I don't want to hear about it. I want to go home.

Sorry, sis.

I cringed when he called me that. I wasn't used to it nor did I accept it. I wasn't ready to revise my whole life. Embry must have noticed my feelings and whined in remorse. I felt bad about rejecting him but couldn't force out an apology. This was just too much.

Merris, can you hear me, too?

I recognized it immediately as Sam's.

Sam, you're in my head, too? Ugh!

He chuckled and descended from the hill he was on to watch me. He and Embry came to my sides and nudged me.

One step closer, Embry. At least she can hear us two.

Do you think it's because of the blood connection?

Maybe, it sounds logical.

I sneered at the two who talked about me even though I was presently in the middle.

Merris, can you try to talk to Jacob?

I'd rather drink bleach.

I didn't want him to see my past night with Seth. Not only would it hurt him and ruin me, too. The pack would not be happy with me at all. I kept those thoughts hidden as I was still connected with Sam and Embry who still continued to talk about me.

Come on, once you're hooked up with the Alpha, you can talk to all of us!

I growled at his choice of words.

I do not hook up and like hell I'd ever hook up with him again!

Embry cowered under my harsh words.

Come on, Merris. We need to talk universally. Sam pleaded.

I don't like people in my head, knowing every single thing I did, said, or think. Got it? I'm very private.

I know, I know! Sam argued. Do it for us? It's better if we can sort everything else in this environment. There's less interference.

Sort what out? That our dad was whoring around? You said it yourself. It was and is a family secret. I'm fine with that now. No one needs to know that!

Embry shook his head. On contrary, it would close a lot of open ended questions. Please? You're just as an important piece to this family as we are, whether you disagree or not.

No, I'm getting out of here. I decided. Before I could even make a step, Jacob stood up and growled at me, as if warned about my intended actions. You guys ratted on me! Have you been telling them what I'm saying?

It's the only way to communicate because you're not willing to participate. Embry justified.

You know what? Fine then! Once I talk to them, I'm going. This is unbearable.

We're unbearable?

This whole mess is! All I want is to go home, make some hot chocolate, and sleep in front of a fire.

That does sound good.

Not helping, Embry!

Sorry.

Jacob yipped at me and I snapped at him to be quiet.

What are you talking about? What about a fire, hot chocolate, and sleep? Is that what you're talking about?

I groaned. How the hell did you get involved in this conversation, Paul?

I don't know. Your voice just suddenly popped in my head and I assumed you opened up.

Great, I said sarcastically. Anyone else hear me?

I do!

Yes! I do!

Good… Now stay out of my head!

Nope, once we're in, we don't come out.

That was the creepiest thing ever, Embry.

It made you laugh, didn't it?

You're childish.

You're so crabby though.

Bad move, Jacob intervened. I would've raised a brow if I had one in wolf form.

I'm not crabby! I'm upset and frustrated and overwhelmed. Wouldn't you be? This is my first time ever consciously acting and remembering a conversation and I'm spending it with you? That's too intimate for me. Plus this whole mind link thing means I'm connected to your pack now, right? Meaning I'm IN your pack and that I'm under the rule of jackass, sorry, I mean Jacob.

That was a total Leah move right there, Paul butted in.

Yeah, that kind of was. Quil also added.

Who cares? Seriously, I feel like Leah, having to be stuck under her ex-boyfriend's rule. No wonder she moved away.

It's not that bad. You fill in her spot now. It's kind of lonely without her snarky remarks, Embry tried to make me feel better but had the opposite effect.

I have no intentions of filling in anyone's spot in this pack. Once I'm shift back to normal, we will never repeat this, got it? I'm not like you! I don't change at will! I'm forever cursed by some God dam cycle and random spurts.

We could always help you with that, Quil said.

No thanks. Can we get this over and done with? I have other things to do, you know, other than this.

Okay, so we're all aware that Sam, Merris, and Embry are related. Jacob announced to the whole pack. Most of them nodded while Sam and I couldn't care less. Embry was in between us staring at us, wondering why we weren't excited as the whole pack was. You also could be related to another person, a brother that has been around these parts?

Don't under exaggerate this, Jake. I said. We have DNA to prove he is for certain our blood relative. Not only that, that said blood is placed around every single murder scene. He's behind this.

So that means we're one step closer to catching this guy, then, now that we know who he is. Embry chipped in.

Not really. We're aware of his origins but we have no idea what he looks like, what his name is, where he stays, etc.

Same with Merris, Sam agreed with me. I have no idea if he even is aware of us. Like you, he could've been in the dark about his extended family.

Then what a coincidence that he's preying on the residents here in La Push, I rolled my eyes. Honestly, put you're self in his shoes, would you enter a territory where there are another large pack of wolves are residing? No, that'd be too much of a risk. He feels safe here, knowing he has a better chance at surviving since he came from here, or knows his relative live here. Haven't you noticed he doesn't target any of the Native Americans here? He isn't sure if any of them are family so he doesn't take the risk of hurting any.

Why is he tearing up innocent people though? Embry asked.

There could be many reasons but I'm not sure unless I meet him myself. I don't understand his personal reasons because I don't know how he grew up or suffered any traumatic events.

You're making him out to be a victim himself, Jacob sneered.

Maybe he is. We're not sure. There is some anger in him. I'm very sure about that. He makes a point is viciously dismember and dispatch bodies. That reflects his personal internal suffering. The reason behind it… I'm not sure. My best bet is that he suffered an abusive childhood or a neglected one, where he wasn't given enough attention or not enough love and wants other figures to suffer. He treats his victims as stress relievers, so to speak.

Your mom was abusive, Jacob said, but you didn't end up as a serial killer, now did you?

No, I didn't, but I had and still do have a hard time coping with human interaction. I'm guarded, detached and solitary. Some people demand attention and acknowledgement, like this guy, or try to be a ghost, like me. We all react differently. I snapped. His ignorance edged me on and I was tempted to snap at him.

Calm down, Marisol, Sam suggested. I eased up a little when I felt him feel sympathetic towards me. Ironic how he was least of people to try to comfort me but I knew he understood the reasons for my disposition. I was forced to live with an angry drunk while he had to take up his role as the man of the house with his dad left. I had the fortune to have a great substitute for a dad but he didn't. We shared mutual respect for each other now that we understood the other's lives.

Jacob bowed his head apologetically but it wasn't enough for me and refused to let it go.

Anyways… like I said, I'm not sure of his intentions. This is definitely a cry for attention, as sadistic as it is, and we need to be aware of it. We can't just assume he's a monster. Nobody is born a monster. Things happen that makes people turn into them and we need to respect that.

So how do we catch him? Embry asked.

I don't know. He is aware of us but I'm not sure if he's ready for confrontation. We could wait out here overnight but I don't he'd come near us, not in big numbers.

I won't allow anyone to go alone! He is dangerous and I'm not putting them in a position to get hurt or killed. Jacob immediately objected angrily. I gave him a sharp look.

Shut up Jacob and let me finish, I ordered. He obeyed. I am not afraid of him. He'll recognize me, and Sam, too, because we both share our father's genetics, inheriting our black coats in all. He'll be anxious to meet us.

What if he's angry with you? What if his goal is to attack you? Jacob intercepted again. I growled a low threat. Jacob shut up again, acknowledging my low levels of patience.

If Embry is willing to come along, I'm sure there won't be a problem for us if he tries anything. 3 against 1 isn't a good outcome for him. Plus we're organized while he's amateur about combat. You have experience as do I.

Really, Paul yipped sarcastically. What makes you experienced? Huh? What did you ever do? Have you ever honestly risked breaking a nail?

I glared at him and stepped towards him. Sam tried to block me but I pushed passed him and came face to face with Paul who abruptly sat up to meet my height. Though I was smaller in a sense, I had speed and agility to back me up.

Speed ain't going to get you nowhere with me, Hon. He challenged.

I grinned and swiftly nipped at his feet to agitate him. I succeeded and he tried to bite me in the ear in retaliation. Jacob intervened and glared at me for being the instigator.

Cut it out, you two. This is not the time for games. I agree with Paul, you're not equipped for confrontation, Merris. You're not going.

I was peeved and determined to prove a point. One, it was my job. I was trained to deal with this things and I didn't need an arrogant Alpha to assume differently because of my gender or size. Two, I didn't like being ordered by anyone but my commander. He may be an Alpha but he wasn't my Alpha.

Ever heard of size doesn't matter? I retorted to Jake. He narrowed his eyes at me.

Ha! Actually, it kind of does, little girl. Paul pushed my limits and I made a snipe at him again, scraping my teeth against his muzzle. He growled at me.

Let me prove it, Jake. Step aside. Jake, thinking he was right, allowed me to "make a fool out of myself" and stepped aside, a condescending expression set in his mind.

Paul, enthusiastic to "put me in my place" greeted me with a sneer and stepped in the middle of the circle. Are you ready? He challenged. I nodded.

I could easily predict his move. Because of his arrogance he felt confident in attacked me in front. I swiftly moved aside and he bit the air. Lucky move, Princess, he snarled. I cringed at my ridiculous name. Jacob felt content with me dodging as long as I didn't get bit. Hiding a smirk, I sniped at his rind quarters and latched onto his ankle. He howled in pain.

Before he could retaliate I let go and jumped a couple feet back.

Sam watched nervously, anxiously moving as if at any time he would be needed to step in between us to protect my small body from a painful blow. I'll be all right, Sam. You'll see. I told him, a bit arrogant myself. Paul snarled at me louder.

Embry and Quil started to placing bets and just to entertain Embry, I snipped at Paul's tail and sauntered off with bits of his hair in my mouth. Paul was raging.

Sam warned me to ease off and Jacob told me to settle down. Both of you quit it. This is just Paul and me.

Paul leapt but I calculated his move and dashed to the left. He landed in the dirt and quickly sprinted after me. The pack followed us as we descended into the woods, maneuvering around trees and wide rocks. Because of his bigger frame he easily could jump over the rocks while the obstacles added some risky milliseconds to my time that gave me the disadvantage but I had one thing he didn't: Like a cheetah, I could round turns quicker without the risk of slipping off course. That's why I decided to follow a Z-line like path. He tried to go straight but didn't want to risk losing sight of me.

I climbed onto the hill and stared below watching his figure ascend up the steep incline. I smirked. This was going to be easier than pie.

Marisol, don't! Paul quit it! You're going to get hurt. Jacob frantically cried up from the sideline. The whole pack stared up at us. Jacob was neutral so far but Embry was cheering me on while Quil, opposite of his friend, betted on Paul.

I smirked and when I calculated the distance, I leapt to Paul. He didn't expect it and his reaction time froze. My paws pounded into Paul's shoulder and pushed him down the hill. I was quick to regain balance and propped myself in the solid earth while Paul's gray body tumbled the rocky hill side. I cringed to think about the rocks puncturing his skin. Then again, he's strong, he'll heal quickly, and it'll be compared to something as lightly as bruises.

I've suffered worse.


	12. Chapter 12

"I guess I'll, uh, go. I'm going to see Kim with the kids." Emily excused herself, passing us with a worry full look. No doubt she was probably going to seek help.

"No, no, don't move them. They just went to sleep. Marisol and I will go to the woods to talk this out."

In a hurry, I followed him to the side yard where a rugged path was being carved with a narrow opening to the dense forest. Emily watched with wide eyes, not sure of what was going to happen, and I'm sure neither did Sam until I saw how cool and calculating his eyes were when he glimpsed back at me. He was planning something and it got me unnerved. Before he could make the first move, I shot off first.

"You suspected something, didn't you, when I first came here? That's why you didn't like me. That's why you advised Jacob to stay away from me. I didn't understand why, I just assumed it was because of this complicated wolf thing you all had going on, but it didn't add up, because of the imprint factor. I let it go and let you have your paranoia but now I know why! I can't believe you hid it from me!"

Within the short minutes I had driving here, I pieced together all of it. Sam knew damn well about me. He knew about my true origins. Why would he want to keep it a secret? How could keep it from me? I deserved to know the truth but I had to find out the hard way. It opened painful wounds to know he kept my own identity from me, heck, even a family, if Embry and he even count.

Sam didn't try to deny it. "How'd you even figure it out?" I interrogated.

His jaw locked. "Calm down, Marisol." He dared to order me.

"Hell no, I'm not calming down until I get some God damned answers right now! I deserve it! Years of hell, years of confusion and hurt and you could've helped me out by telling me the truth but for some God forsaken reason you didn't. Why? Why didn't you?"

"It wouldn't have made a difference. You lived one life. There is no reason to make it more complicated."

"Oh, you'll get complicated after we clear this mess up. Answer me, Sam, on why I didn't deserve to know the truth."

"It would hurt a lot of people. The news is better left covered. You don't know how everyone is connected to it."

"Enlighten me, Sam. Like how," I circled around him.

"We don't need to turn everyone's world side down. We all have family secrets and I'd rather not have them question all they know."

"That's exactly how I'm feeling! I've been living a God damn lie and somewhere, my father, our father, possibly killed my mother, my real mother, who was taken from me! God damn it! I had a loving home. Screw the money, luxury and the fancy clothes, all I ever wanted was a happy home and I had it at one point and I can't even remember it! You don't know how that feels! You have a mother who loved you, father or not. That's all I ever wanted."

"And you'd have the same reaction if I had told you six years ago. I'm telling you, you were better off not knowing. Nothing good can come out of it."

"So what," I challenged. "It's better than being in the dark. I've felt so alone and lost and confused and this could've really helped me out figure out how the hell I ended up like this."

"I'm sorry to hear that," he said bitterly, "but get over it. You're a grown woman and you need to act like it. It's all in the past now."

"No, it's not. I need to know about my past and so help me God you better fill me in."

He sighed. "Fine, what do you want to know?"

"Who's Jenna Adler? How'd she know your father?" I purposely didn't acknowledge the man as mine. I had a father, Christopher, blood or not, that raised me until his last dying breath. Now he is a definition of a father, not some deadbeat who ran off on his family.

"I don't know. Our father," I cringed at the plural meaning, "wasn't a commitment type. He married my mom, sure, but had more than a few relations with other women, too, and Jenna fell for him charm, I guess."

"Why'd she run away to Montana?"

"I don't know. I didn't know her personally. I was only a kid then. I don't remember her being around. I'm sure she moved before I could even walk. From what I'm told from the elders, this place was too small and she needed an escape. She was a woman with bigger dreams than La Push itself. That's all I know."

"How'd you know she existed?"

"When I was alpha I consulted with the elder council, and her name was mention a few times but very rarely. I had to know the history and every individual here, including the ones that moved. They said she and my dad had a rendezvous. There was no mention of it resulting in a child but the imagination is still there. Nobody was sure because she had been cut off from the village a long time ago."

He looked at me with solemn eyes and it angered me some more that he looked at me with pity.

"When she died, because Samara and Dan had died, her aunts and uncles were notified. Henry and Quil senior were well aware of her death and of your existence, last name and all, but it said in her record that you were taken in by your aunt, who had also moved away around the same time Jenna did, but suddenly she showed up back here a decade after, with you, and they all knew who you really belonged, too. We didn't intervene because it would be too much of a shock. It was a well-kept secret."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"It didn't benefit you."

I growled and felt myself tremble. Not from the cold but from overwhelming emotions exploding underneath my skin.

"Look, I wasn't happy either, about this. My dad ran out on us for another woman, more than a few if you include Embry's mom. I had just discovered I had a sister and I couldn't confront you like I wanted to. I had to treat you like a stranger, no matter how much I wanted to protect you. I wanted to protect you from getting hurt, from this life style, knowing you came from a polished life that didn't ever have to deal with supernatural complications. But at the same time I couldn't let them know who you really were. It didn't hurt anybody."

"It hurt me."

"Only because you found out," he insisted. "If you didn't I'm sure you would've continued life like usual."

I found it hard to breathe as my throat constricted and my eyes blurred with hot tears. Sam stood awkwardly from a long distance, watching me with concerned eyes.

"You weren't supposed to know," he concluded.

I felt a pain in my back and bent backwards in agony. I leaned again the tree to keep standing but the pain spread all over.

Breathe Marisol, I reminded myself. Breathe. Calm down! But it didn't help as the torture continued throughout my sore muscle. Sam instantly came to my side.

"Merris," he shouted. "Merris, what's wrong?"

I tried to tell him to get away but I locked my jaw to hold in the cries begging to be heard. The pain and heat got so intense and my vision began to spot with black and tears.

I arched my back and thrashed around, once again relapsing into transformation. Please, I mentally prayed, please let it go quickly. I don't want to hurt anymore.

"Merris," Sam pleaded. "Thank of Leah, think of you dad, not ours, but yours, Chris! Think of them! Distract yourself!"

I tried to picture them but their faces blurred as pain took over again.

Please, I prayed. Please don't let it hurt. Please let it pass.

I don't remember my transition for there but my vision jumped back in afterwards. I found myself rising from the ground on four legs and feeling unnaturally tall. My eyes met with coal black ones staring down at me with height and more intensity than my own.

I was mystified. Not once have I recalled an 'experience' but for some reason I did. I had some mental control and when I realized I had it, I focused to keep it, staring at the eyes as a focus point.

We didn't back away from each other but stare as if we came to a mutual understanding but I didn't know what. He looked confused, anxious and almost yearning but I was just as confused as he was about what. I stood my ground, unsure of his intentions. Sure he was intimidating, large with solid black fur, like mine, but his eyes were regretful and apologetic.

I made a yip and his ears perked at my sound before barking back. I didn't understand it what he was saying but his excited body language made it clear he was nervous. He barked again but I stood silent, unsure how to reply not knowing what he meant. His ears bent back and whined. His eyes bore deeply into mine, trying to establish a connection but I didn't receive.

A scent in the air caught my attention and I immediately thought of other wolves. I jumped at the thought and tried to run, assuming the other wolf would, too, but instead he maneuvered to block me, anxious to keep me in that spot.

My eyes trained onto a silver blur and a shiver ran up my body, feeling trapped. A snout rose above the brush a few feet around me and I faced a face, solid chocolate, and another behind me, an ashy gray looming figure, and a much lighter wolf following behind him. I whined and glanced around for any sigh of escape while the black wolf kept me inside, egging me to stay with him. He was crazy, I cried with a whine. I needed to get out of here! A snarl got me to jump out of my skin and I face a defensive gray wolf glaring at me with bared, razor teeth. The black one snapped back at it and it reclined back behind a tree but still within its sight.

I felt the air shift and within a flash, a rusty brown wolf stepped in front of all of them, snapping at the ones who dared to step forward and lunge at me. When his eyes met me, I felt my nervousness slide away. Ironically, I admired him and his unique beauty and color. He must have known and edged forward confidently to sniff me. I stayed in place though weary if I made any sudden movements.

Jacob Black's POV

I was on edge. The whole night I couldn't think of anything but Marisol and what on earth she could be doing with Seth. Did Seth kiss her? Did they take it farther? I tossed and turned the whole night and gave up after a few hours. During the early morning hours I spent all of time in the shop working on the cars. My frustration finished two trucks before the dead line. At least some good came out of it.

When she finally answered her phone, she replied in a rush answer that got my nerves jumping up and down. What was she up to? What was she hiding? I didn't know where she was and didn't know where to start to look for her so I stayed put at the house after my early work.

The phone ringing again made me jump in surprise and I rushed to pick it up.

"Hello?" I hoped it was Marisol.

"Jake," Emily's rushed voice cried. "It's Sam. Merris came by and she was so mad. They took off in the woods and I don't know what's happening. She's so upset and starting accusing Sam of something but she told me to stay out of it. I'm so worried."

"I'll be there in a minute! You stay right there, okay?"

I hung up and ran out the door as adrenaline ran through me and push me throughout that short mile. I caught Embry stepping out of his Chevy and he immediately called out for me.

"I need to see Marisol! She might be in trouble!" I yelled over the distance.

Something snapped in his expression and he bounded after me with hot heels. He was at my side in a matter of seconds.

"About that, I need to tell you what happened today." He started.

"Later," I cut him off. "I need to check that she's okay."

"Where is she?"

"At Sam's," trying to keep up speed.

Suddenly a whiplash of air hit my back and next thing I knew a brown blur sprinted passed me. Why did he phase? Deciding to follow his footprints, I phased, too, and trailed behind him quickly.

Why did you do that? I asked him using our mental connection.

This is not good, he replied. Let's hope they don't kill each other. Jake, you need to know what happened today. I was called in to give DNA. They had a breakthrough. Turns out Sam, Marisol, and I are all related. We share the same father.

WHAT! I lost my cool and jumped in front of him.

It's a really long story. I don't know even half of it. Marisol and Sam do, though, and she's not happy. If I have any idea what's going down, one of them is probably dead right now. You should get the others. I have the best chance at intervening seeing as I'm their brother.

No, I'll go. You get the others. I can take on Sam if he attacks because I'm bigger. I don't want you in the middle of this. I'll clear this up and afterwards you can explain it to all of us. I ordered. As alpha, Embry couldn't disobey and with a hidden scowl he sourly trotted in the opposite direction where Paul and Quil lived.

I ran from that point on the Sam's house at the end of the reservation where Emily met me. She paced across the deck anxiously staring in the direction of the woods. When she saw me, she lifted her finger and pointed in the same direction. I nodded my head and put my nose to the ground and picked up her scent. My ears picked up a noise from behind and picked my head back up to spot 2 more wolves alongside Embry racing towards my way.

We're coming, Jake! Quil said, beating Embry and plunging into the forest first. I was right behind him.

What's that smell? Paul asked. He lifted his nose in the air to catch the current that carried the scent. It's a new wolf!

It's Marisol, I corrected. They all shared a moment of silence I remembered the scent and stiffened. What set her off? I thought before the concern of her well-being overtook me. Her leg hadn't healed yet! I took off, with the rest of the guys' right behind me.

Look, she doesn't know us, and I'm certain she'll run if we trap her. We should all go around her in case she tries to escape. Quil suggested. The thought of trapping her outraged me. She was vulnerable and wouldn't help us if she felt threatened and scared if we cornered her.

Don't scare her! I ordered.

Some slowly, another voice warned us. I growled.

What did you do to her Sam? I demanded.

Nothing, I swear!

How is she doing? Paul asked.

I don't know. I haven't established a connection yet. We need her to join the pack or else we can't talk to her.

I can do it, I volunteered.

I have my sights on her! Embry yelled. No, Paul, stop, don't go any closer!

Back off, Paul. Sam barked.

Paul, what are you doing? Stop it! Whatever it was, he needed to stop. He could've hurt Merris.

Yeah, yeah! Quit yelling at me! I wasn't going to hurt her, Jake! Paul yelled back.

I bounded over the bushes and leapt into the middle of circle where everyone was positioned around. I looked around my surrounded, Paul to my left, Embry to my right, and Quil safely at a distance behind me, hidden by the shade of the towering trees. In front of me were two, identical solid coat coated wolves. I was amazed by their resemblance. Sam, of course, was taller but Marisol struck me with her gentle, slender frame. She kept looking around for an escape.

Sam made a yip at her and in response she flattened her ears and turned around to face each other. Her ears perked back up as we stared at each other a while.

Do you have a connection? Embry asked.

No, I can't read her. I stepped forward and she stiffened like a rock, waiting for me to sniff and walk away but I surprised her by rubbing my muzzle in her neck. When I pulled away she tilted her head and stepped forward to keep the close distance we had. She walked around me, examining me, to conclude if I was safe or not.

What is she doing? Quil questioned.

Just when I thought it was all okay, Paul, being the dumbass he is, stepped forward and spooked her. She, like any other wild animal, responded with a snap at his throat. He had quick reflexes though and jeered back in time. She growled at him and crouched, weary of all his sudden movements.

Idiot, I yelled at him. She could've hurt herself.

Really, I almost had my throat ripped open and you're worried about her? What, afraid she'll chip a tooth? Paul sarcastically remarked. I glared at him, coming out as a snarl from my own throat. Marisol jumped back to face me, afraid I was going to retaliate that she attempted to wound my comrade. Nah, Paul deserved.

Thanks, dude. That's really comforting. Paul would've rolled his eyes if he could.

Sam stepped in between us and comforted Marisol. She trusted him, I could see. His body language made it obvious he was looking out for her, not himself or us. She stepped into the opening he made possible and I wasn't fast enough. She leapt over Sam with such grace it caught me off guard and she took advantage of that millisecond I was frozen and broke through our barricade. Suddenly though she paused, like she reconsidered, and slowly edged back. She gave Sam a look.

His ears perked in surprise. He stood up alert.

Did you hear that?

Hear what? Embry asked.

Embry, come next to me.

Embry did as directed and slowly approached Marisol alongside Sam and looked at her with confused eyes. Sam barked at Merris, seeing if she'd respond to that. Her ears perked and her tail whipped the tree bark accidently. I don't think she noticed at she focused at Sam. Her eyes veered from Embry and Sam few times though.

Sam took a confident step towards her and made physical contact by poking her shoulder with his nose. Embry stayed in his spot.

She came back down to Embry where she sniffed him and then looked back at Sam for support. As for me, she stayed clear of me. I didn't know why.

She finds you intimidating, being the obvious alpha and all. He said, spitting out 'alpha' bitterly. I made no comment on that part of the sentence.

How do you know that? I asked.

I can read her body language. She feels okay as long as I'm here to protect her. Trust me, give her a reason, and she'll run like a bat out of hell. He explained while training his eyes to be on Merris.

Sure, Paul teased. I knew he was planning something but he hadn't decided on what.

Don't do it, Paul, or I swear…

He glared at Marisol, who returned a colder stare, and growled at me. How long will she be like this? She's wild. We can't talk to her. What's the point?

We're here so she doesn't get hurt, I said, keeping my eyes also on her.

Her head turned to face me and our eyes connected. She stood her ground while I stood mine, careful to keep distance. This was all new to her and I didn't want to alarm her. But at the same time, I didn't want her to attack me. I'm not sure if she remembered how we first met in wolf form, and I hoped she didn't, but if she did, she'd either a) get the hell out of dodge or b) retaliate. I knew from the quick snap she attempted at Paul they she could possibly do damage and I didn't want to put in a position where I had to defend my pack with force. I've seen first-hand how that went and I didn't want her to go through that again.

I subconsciously whined thinking about it and she jumped back.

Did you hear that? Sam all but yelled.

Hear what?

Her! Did you hear her!

Did you?

Yes!

What'd she say? I was excited and jumped up, anxious that she could actually talk with us through mind link.

She's asking what's wrong.

Marisol's POV

What's wrong with him? Was he hurt? Was he sad?

I was compelled to comfort him and tempted to step forward and nuzzle him but held myself back. That was too close to comfort and I wasn't sure how'd he react. I couldn't predict him and it unnerved me.

I looked at the black wolf for support on what to do but he only stared at me. I whined and whimpered, confused and frustrated on what to do in this situation.

Another wolf came to my side and nuzzled my neck. He was gray with black speckles over his skin.

It's alright.

What?

We looked at each in shock. Did I hear him right?

Did you say something? I thought, directed at him.

You can hear me? He asked back.

How can you do that?

Oh my God…

I heard that slight buzzing in my head again and shook it out but continued to stare at him.

Who are you? What's your name? I asked him.

Wait, you don't know?

Why? Should I?

Marisol, it's me, Embry.

I jumped back in surprise, losing the connection. I stared at him incredulously.

Marisol, are you still there?

Yes, I'm here. How can we talk? How is this possible? Why, I mean, how did you find me?

I don't know. I can't explain this kind of thing. We came here because we heard you were upset. I know why. Is it because of this new family revelation?

Sam hid it from me! I should've known! I should've known I had a family.

I know, it was unfair but at least you know now.

How can you be so calm? You just found out, too!

It's never bothered me. I'm happy that I have a brother and a sister. Aren't you?

It's not as simple as that, Embry. You may be content with this but this is just scratching the surface for me. I still have to figure out what happened to my mom!

I get it. You know I'll be here for you, right?

I turned silent. This was too overwhelming. I faced the black wolf, who I assumed was Sam. Here I didn't even recognize them all when it was so obvious to me now. I was puzzle to why Sam was acting like my protector here. We've never been close and all of a sudden he's watching me like a hawk, more like the pack, actually. Why would he care?

He's your brother, too, Merris. He cares but he has a hard time showing it. You're vulnerable and he doesn't want you to get rough housed, you know?

I ignored Embry and looked at who I supposed was Jacob. He stared at me with wide brown eyes that before amused me but now made me cringe. The feelings were still there, it was obvious. How could I, even for a second, admire Jake? How could I feel compelled to comfort him? It sickened me.

He's your imprint, Merris. Of course you're going to feel a connection! You two were meant to be.

Oh, shut up Embry! I don't want to hear about it. I want to go home.

Sorry, sis.

I cringed when he called me that. I wasn't used to it nor did I accept it. I wasn't ready to revise my whole life. Embry must have noticed my feelings and whined in remorse. I felt bad about rejecting him but couldn't force out an apology. This was just too much.

Merris, can you hear me, too?

I recognized it immediately as Sam's.

Sam, you're in my head, too? Ugh!

He chuckled and descended from the hill he was on to watch me. He and Embry came to my sides and nudged me.

One step closer, Embry. At least she can hear us two.

Do you think it's because of the blood connection?

Maybe, it sounds logical.

I sneered at the two who talked about me even though I was presently in the middle.

Merris, can you try to talk to Jacob?

I'd rather drink bleach.

I didn't want him to see my past night with Seth. Not only would it hurt him and ruin me, too. The pack would not be happy with me at all. I kept those thoughts hidden as I was still connected with Sam and Embry who still continued to talk about me.

Come on, once you're hooked up with the Alpha, you can talk to all of us!

I growled at his choice of words.

I do not hook up and like hell I'd ever hook up with him again!

Embry cowered under my harsh words.

Come on, Merris. We need to talk universally. Sam pleaded.

I don't like people in my head, knowing every single thing I did, said, or think. Got it? I'm very private.

I know, I know! Sam argued. Do it for us? It's better if we can sort everything else in this environment. There's less interference.

Sort what out? That our dad was whoring around? You said it yourself. It was and is a family secret. I'm fine with that now. No one needs to know that!

Embry shook his head. On contrary, it would close a lot of open ended questions. Please? You're just as an important piece to this family as we are, whether you disagree or not.

No, I'm getting out of here. I decided. Before I could even make a step, Jacob stood up and growled at me, as if warned about my intended actions. You guys ratted on me! Have you been telling them what I'm saying?

It's the only way to communicate because you're not willing to participate. Embry justified.

You know what? Fine then! Once I talk to them, I'm going. This is unbearable.

We're unbearable?

This whole mess is! All I want is to go home, make some hot chocolate, and sleep in front of a fire.

That does sound good.

Not helping, Embry!

Sorry.

Jacob yipped at me and I snapped at him to be quiet.

What are you talking about? What about a fire, hot chocolate, and sleep? Is that what you're talking about?

I groaned. How the hell did you get involved in this conversation, Paul?

I don't know. Your voice just suddenly popped in my head and I assumed you opened up.

Great, I said sarcastically. Anyone else hear me?

I do!

Yes! I do!

Good… Now stay out of my head!

Nope, once we're in, we don't come out.

That was the creepiest thing ever, Embry.

It made you laugh, didn't it?

You're childish.

You're so crabby though.

Bad move, Jacob intervened. I would've raised a brow if I had one in wolf form.

I'm not crabby! I'm upset and frustrated and overwhelmed. Wouldn't you be? This is my first time ever consciously acting and remembering a conversation and I'm spending it with you? That's too intimate for me. Plus this whole mind link thing means I'm connected to your pack now, right? Meaning I'm IN your pack and that I'm under the rule of jackass, sorry, I mean Jacob.

That was a total Leah move right there, Paul butted in.

Yeah, that kind of was. Quil also added.

Who cares? Seriously, I feel like Leah, having to be stuck under her ex-boyfriend's rule. No wonder she moved away.

It's not that bad. You fill in her spot now. It's kind of lonely without her snarky remarks, Embry tried to make me feel better but had the opposite effect.

I have no intentions of filling in anyone's spot in this pack. Once I'm shift back to normal, we will never repeat this, got it? I'm not like you! I don't change at will! I'm forever cursed by some God dam cycle and random spurts.

We could always help you with that, Quil said.

No thanks. Can we get this over and done with? I have other things to do, you know, other than this.

Okay, so we're all aware that Sam, Merris, and Embry are related. Jacob announced to the whole pack. Most of them nodded while Sam and I couldn't care less. Embry was in between us staring at us, wondering why we weren't excited as the whole pack was. You also could be related to another person, a brother that has been around these parts?

Don't under exaggerate this, Jake. I said. We have DNA to prove he is for certain our blood relative. Not only that, that said blood is placed around every single murder scene. He's behind this.

So that means we're one step closer to catching this guy, then, now that we know who he is. Embry chipped in.

Not really. We're aware of his origins but we have no idea what he looks like, what his name is, where he stays, etc.

Same with Merris, Sam agreed with me. I have no idea if he even is aware of us. Like you, he could've been in the dark about his extended family.

Then what a coincidence that he's preying on the residents here in La Push, I rolled my eyes. Honestly, put you're self in his shoes, would you enter a territory where there are another large pack of wolves are residing? No, that'd be too much of a risk. He feels safe here, knowing he has a better chance at surviving since he came from here, or knows his relative live here. Haven't you noticed he doesn't target any of the Native Americans here? He isn't sure if any of them are family so he doesn't take the risk of hurting any.

Why is he tearing up innocent people though? Embry asked.

There could be many reasons but I'm not sure unless I meet him myself. I don't understand his personal reasons because I don't know how he grew up or suffered any traumatic events.

You're making him out to be a victim himself, Jacob sneered.

Maybe he is. We're not sure. There is some anger in him. I'm very sure about that. He makes a point is viciously dismember and dispatch bodies. That reflects his personal internal suffering. The reason behind it… I'm not sure. My best bet is that he suffered an abusive childhood or a neglected one, where he wasn't given enough attention or not enough love and wants other figures to suffer. He treats his victims as stress relievers, so to speak.

Your mom was abusive, Jacob said, but you didn't end up as a serial killer, now did you?

No, I didn't, but I had and still do have a hard time coping with human interaction. I'm guarded, detached and solitary. Some people demand attention and acknowledgement, like this guy, or try to be a ghost, like me. We all react differently. I snapped. His ignorance edged me on and I was tempted to snap at him.

Calm down, Marisol, Sam suggested. I eased up a little when I felt him feel sympathetic towards me. Ironic how he was least of people to try to comfort me but I knew he understood the reasons for my disposition. I was forced to live with an angry drunk while he had to take up his role as the man of the house with his dad left. I had the fortune to have a great substitute for a dad but he didn't. We shared mutual respect for each other now that we understood the other's lives.

Jacob bowed his head apologetically but it wasn't enough for me and refused to let it go.

Anyways… like I said, I'm not sure of his intentions. This is definitely a cry for attention, as sadistic as it is, and we need to be aware of it. We can't just assume he's a monster. Nobody is born a monster. Things happen that makes people turn into them and we need to respect that.

So how do we catch him? Embry asked.

I don't know. He is aware of us but I'm not sure if he's ready for confrontation. We could wait out here overnight but I don't he'd come near us, not in big numbers.

I won't allow anyone to go alone! He is dangerous and I'm not putting them in a position to get hurt or killed. Jacob immediately objected angrily. I gave him a sharp look.

Shut up Jacob and let me finish, I ordered. He obeyed. I am not afraid of him. He'll recognize me, and Sam, too, because we both share our father's genetics, inheriting our black coats in all. He'll be anxious to meet us.

What if he's angry with you? What if his goal is to attack you? Jacob intercepted again. I growled a low threat. Jacob shut up again, acknowledging my low levels of patience.

If Embry is willing to come along, I'm sure there won't be a problem for us if he tries anything. 3 against 1 isn't a good outcome for him. Plus we're organized while he's amateur about combat. You have experience as do I.

Really, Paul yipped sarcastically. What makes you experienced? Huh? What did you ever do? Have you ever honestly risked breaking a nail?

I glared at him and stepped towards him. Sam tried to block me but I pushed passed him and came face to face with Paul who abruptly sat up to meet my height. Though I was smaller in a sense, I had speed and agility to back me up.

Speed ain't going to get you nowhere with me, Hon. He challenged.

I grinned and swiftly nipped at his feet to agitate him. I succeeded and he tried to bite me in the ear in retaliation. Jacob intervened and glared at me for being the instigator.

Cut it out, you two. This is not the time for games. I agree with Paul, you're not equipped for confrontation, Merris. You're not going.

I was peeved and determined to prove a point. One, it was my job. I was trained to deal with this things and I didn't need an arrogant Alpha to assume differently because of my gender or size. Two, I didn't like being ordered by anyone but my commander. He may be an Alpha but he wasn't my Alpha.

Ever heard of size doesn't matter? I retorted to Jake. He narrowed his eyes at me.

Ha! Actually, it kind of does, little girl. Paul pushed my limits and I made a snipe at him again, scraping my teeth against his muzzle. He growled at me.

Let me prove it, Jake. Step aside. Jake, thinking he was right, allowed me to "make a fool out of myself" and stepped aside, a condescending expression set in his mind.

Paul, enthusiastic to "put me in my place" greeted me with a sneer and stepped in the middle of the circle. Are you ready? He challenged. I nodded.

I could easily predict his move. Because of his arrogance he felt confident in attacked me in front. I swiftly moved aside and he bit the air. Lucky move, Princess, he snarled. I cringed at my ridiculous name. Jacob felt content with me dodging as long as I didn't get bit. Hiding a smirk, I sniped at his rind quarters and latched onto his ankle. He howled in pain.

Before he could retaliate I let go and jumped a couple feet back.

Sam watched nervously, anxiously moving as if at any time he would be needed to step in between us to protect my small body from a painful blow. I'll be all right, Sam. You'll see. I told him, a bit arrogant myself. Paul snarled at me louder.

Embry and Quil started to placing bets and just to entertain Embry, I snipped at Paul's tail and sauntered off with bits of his hair in my mouth. Paul was raging.

Sam warned me to ease off and Jacob told me to settle down. Both of you quit it. This is just Paul and me.

Paul leapt but I calculated his move and dashed to the left. He landed in the dirt and quickly sprinted after me. The pack followed us as we descended into the woods, maneuvering around trees and wide rocks. Because of his bigger frame he easily could jump over the rocks while the obstacles added some risky milliseconds to my time that gave me the disadvantage but I had one thing he didn't: Like a cheetah, I could round turns quicker without the risk of slipping off course. That's why I decided to follow a Z-line like path. He tried to go straight but didn't want to risk losing sight of me.

I climbed onto the hill and stared below watching his figure ascend up the steep incline. I smirked. This was going to be easier than pie.

Marisol, don't! Paul quit it! You're going to get hurt. Jacob frantically cried up from the sideline. The whole pack stared up at us. Jacob was neutral so far but Embry was cheering me on while Quil, opposite of his friend, betted on Paul.

I smirked and when I calculated the distance, I leapt to Paul. He didn't expect it and his reaction time froze. My paws pounded into Paul's shoulder and pushed him down the hill. I was quick to regain balance and propped myself in the solid earth while Paul's gray body tumbled the rocky hill side. I cringed to think about the rocks puncturing his skin. Then again, he's strong, he'll heal quickly, and it'll be compared to something as lightly as bruises.

I've suffered worse.


	13. Chapter 13

The pack below stared in shock and silence, waiting for his body to hit the flat surface they stood on. When it did, they rushed to check on him while I descended slowly and carefully, examining the path he fell and looked for blood and luckily for me, there was none.

Paul, are you all right? Jacob checked. Paul tried to nod his head but groaned in pain.

He'll survive, I assured. That was minor move to disable the enemy for a while to gain distance.

Jacob stared at me with angry eyes. Thanks a lot for disabling one of my pack members. We need him! You idiot…

I rolled my eyes and leapt next to Paul's body before stepping onto his tail which he howled in pain. He picked up half of his torso to snap at me and I grinned. See? He can move. Give him a minute. He'll be sore but he'll walk. I may be smaller but I'm a hell lot smarter than him. Didn't you see the advantage I had?

No, he replied sourly. I didn't think you'd be crazy enough to jump downhill.

At first, I wasn't, but over the years I perfected my landing. This was my first time in wolf form though. I'm surprised I could do that.

I'm impressed, Sam reluctantly admitted. He, though like any sane person, looked at me with ridicule.

I am, too.

I looked in shock as Leah descended behind me in her light wolf form. She sniffed me and smirked mentally.

You look good, Merris. I never thought you'd be plain black but either way, you look good.

I was in shock. Did she know I was Sam's sister?

Yeah, I know. I overheard the conversation while I was listening to Emily. I don't think you could hear me in the distance.

My mind thought about the buzz in my head earlier and wondered if it was her.

Hey, Quil inserted. Embry perked his ears, thinking the same thing as Quil. Leah and I shared a look. Since Leah is the fastest and so is Marisol, they should have a race!

Jacob gave him a sharp look, not happy with him wasting our time but Leah and I agreed it would be an interesting idea.

Merris is going to win, Embry called.

Nah, she wasted a bunch of energy. Leah is a marathon runner. Quil insisted.

Did you hear that Leah? I teased. Let's test that theory, shall we?

Jacob Black's POV

Seriously guys, grow up! We need to stay focused! I scowled Leah and Marisol as they returned from their race. Leah was boasting to how she won while Merris could care less, seeing it as a game than a real competition. Leah, don't distract her. She's new at this and she needs to focus on how to control her own self.

Excuse me? I'm doing just fine, thank you very much. Merris snapped back at me.

I don't trust your word, I argued, staring her down. Because she was smaller than me I could force her down onto all fours. She wistfully lied down before me before it could advance to physical violence but she made a point to snarl lowly.

Whatever, like a teenager, she had to have the last word. I let her get away with that if that meant we could finally achieve some time for serious business.

How are we supposed to catch this guy? We don't know where he's at or when he'll strike.

Stake out? Quil suggested.

I was thinking that.

Well, Merris had to put in. If you do a stake out, make sure it's in small numbers. If you bring half the pack, he'll know something is up and well-ah! You succeed in scaring him off before you could even catch him. If you patrol in smaller groups, like 2 or 3, with another in the opposite direction, he won't be so intimidated and feel a little more confident in entering the territory.

I'm not going to put any member of me pack at risk. He is dangerous and reckless and could do serious damage to one of my pack mates. If we're going out late at night, I'm sure as hell is going to send reinforcements to protect each other. I yelled.

Merris stuck her head in the air, displaying her arrogant "I-know-better" attitude about herself perfectly. I was offended that she could undermine my authority.

So what if you're Alpha, Jake, she attacked my ego. You don't know how to confront this situation unlike me. You know how to confront Vampires but not your own kind. I, on the other hand, am experience with both.

What are you trying to say? That you know better than me? And what kind of experience are you talking about? I know she could defend herself, seeing as how she handled Paul, but I doubted she knew how to think for a whole pack. No way would I trust her with me.

If I explain it to you, you still wouldn't believe me, so how about I do a demonstration instead? I'll play the ruthless psychopath and you can experiment with your tactics. After the first round, we can discuss the flaws of your plan.

I didn't argue because I was honestly intrigued with this plan. It would prove vital and beneficial for all of us to work as a team, and plus I was anxious to catch Marisol myself to show her who's really the top dog.

All right, give me a head start, okay? So hypothetically you just caught a whiff of my scent and when you do, act on your strategy you think will work best. Three minutes, guys, to discuss who goes where or does what while I get some distance.

She jumped up and bounded to the east. I watched her graceful figure get smaller and smaller with the more distance she gained. My heart stung a little bit to know she'd be out there on her own and I couldn't be by her side to watch over up, to protect her…

Oh quit being a sap, Jacob! She's coming back later, you know. It's not like she'll run into the real psychopath. Leah snapped at me. I glared at her.

Zip it Leah. All right guys, we have her scent, I suppose. The first thing we do is follow it. When it's strong, we'll separate in pairs in hopes to surround her. I don't want anyone to charge at her before me. Because hypothetically, if it's the killer, I'm not putting anyone in danger, understand? Just lock in on her so she has nowhere to run and I'll be the first to confront her.

The pack agreed.

Leah, you're the fastest but I want you to stay behind me, in case "the killer" decides to attack you. You're small and could get easily hurt but stay on her tail. I'll be in eye sight, that's how close I'll be behind you.

Why does she get the attention? Paul interjected.

Because, I snapped, she's the most vulnerable.

Paul rolled his eyes.

Embry, Quil, you two keep close and make sure to keep a distance in case she tries to run in the other direction to shake us off. You'll push her back to us or distract her until we catch up, okay? Paul, I know you're anxious for revenge, but go easy on her. She's inexperienced after all. I need you to be my backup in case things get rough. Keep her tied until I come in, same with you, Sam.

With that said I waited for a few seconds before announcing "Go!" and darted in her direction, the pack following me. Leah was pushing it and constantly headed me. I had to remind her to stay in pace and not get excited about the chase. That was hard for her to do.

We were getting close as Merris' scent was a strong as bleach but she manifested well in the dense forest making visibility difficult.

Wait, shouldn't we hear her on mind link? Embry asked.

She could've broken it. Leah suggested. The possibility of that scared me and I pumped my legs harder to get closer to her.

I saw a blur of black pass me us on the side and I wondered if that was her. My guess was confirmed as I saw her body leap over a tall, fallen tree in an attempt to veer farer away from us.

To the right! I yelled.

I swerved but managed a smooth pathway towards her new direction and felt my heart leap as I felt her connection getting closer. I leapt over the same fallen tree and realized how close I really was as I spotted her frantic figure deciding where to turn. In the right time, she made a quick choice to the right where Paul had luckily detoured and intercepted her path. He growled at her and made a threatening step forward.

Paul, don't you dare do it!

I was too late as he lunged towards her and clamped his jaws around her throat. I'm sure his intent was not to kill her but his blind rage could've very well succeeded that goal if I hadn't stepped in.

I lunged at him and pushed him off of her. He tumbled a few feet away and I stood protectively over her body.

I told you not make the first move, damn it! I warned you! You could've hurt her!

I diverted my attention from Paul and onto Merris who hesitantly stood up underneath my own body.

Merris, are you okay? Are you hurt?

I stepped aside and let her have some space but carefully watched her.

My eyes widened when I realized her fur was replaced by pale flesh and I immediately stepped in front of her to cover her from the rest of the pack. She wasn't adjusted to our comfort level of nudity, but also, like hell I'd let him see my imprint naked, fore that was for my own eyes only.

Embry, go to Emily's and ask her for a shirt for Merris to borrow.

No, I'll do it. I'm faster. Leah offered. I saw her zoom towards the house and focused my attention on covering Merris. I tried myself to keep my eyes away from her torso and onto the pack around us.

Okay, game over, everybody screw off. Keep your eyes off of Merris!

Whoa dude, no need to get defensive. We get it. We'll respect that. It's not like we're interested in seeing her naked. Paul defended himself.

Lair! Quil accused. Weren't you the one who asked her out first when she moved here?

I have Rachel now! I don't need to fantasize about Merris. Plus she's two years younger than me!

That didn't stop you before, Quil charged. The tension in the air rose.

Hey, Embry shouted. That's my sister. Have some decency, will you? Give her and Jake some privacy.

Okay guys, move on, Sam herded. He through us one last look before rushing the rest of the pack away towards the village. I thanked him and continued to shield Merris. Her hands clung to my fur and tried with her little strength to pull me closer to her, not feeling covered enough.

I leaned closer to her and lied down so she wouldn't have to stand. Her legs shivered over the snow covered surface but she didn't voice any complaint as her skin was still hot from the transformation.

"Well, this is awkward," she mumbled.

Her hair beautifully, naturally, thrown over her shoulders and I tried to remember that instead of other obvious features bare to me. I nodded in agreement.

"Thanks, Jake," she said, "for covering me. I appreciate it."

Again, I nodded, not knowing how to respond. I was still in wolf form so I couldn't talk but I couldn't phase back either because then I'd be naked and she wouldn't at all be in the least comfortable with me. She was happy with my silence.

"I guess your tactics were okay. Good teamwork," she admitted. That was something rare for someone as prideful as the heiress she was. "But like I said, bigger numbers scare off rogues but bigger numbers also capture them better. Maybe your patrol groups should be distanced but if you can coordinate a quick response, you're as good as gold."

She had a lovely blush on her cheeks and she tried to hide it from me but I had a good perspective.

"Stop looking at me, pervert!" She whined, embarrassed.

It reminded me of when we were teenagers and our first time. She hated with I looked at her when she was bare or even touched her naked. Spooning was hard to achieve with someone self-conscious like her. Yet she was too perfect, too pretty, too natural, too beautiful… It was hard to look away.

I whined back, teasing her. She actually let out a laugh. To think she was more comfortable with me as a wolf than as a male human was surprising but welcoming. At least she and I were getting along.

We sat in silence for a long while before Leah, in wolf form, emerged from the trees next to us and handed Merris an oversized grey shirt and underwear personally to her before disappearing again. Marisol dressed quickly. She looked tempting in a guy's shirt but I kept my mind at bay.

"I guess you're my ride home, Jake." She mumbled.

I knew what she meant instantly and knelt down enough for her to jump on my back and cling to my fur like a lifeline while I slowly rose, careful not to drop her, and crept along the easiest trail to give her a smooth ride. I felt her breathing even and assumed she could have fallen asleep but every now and then she let out a squeak if I jumped a few inches or made a sudden turn. It was cute and at the same time relieving to know she trusted me. She was my responsibility and I wouldn't let her fall. Not now, not again, and not ever.

"So who's going out tonight?" Sam asked, staring down Marisol, Embry and I. I leaned against the counter next to Marisol whose mind was somewhere else but her dark eyes trained, determined, on Sam.

"Embry, you, and I," I replied, ignoring Marisol's burning glare. I could feel her anger radiate from her tiny frame, as I felt the same emotion swell inside my chest. She was challenging me, wordless or not.

"I told you, I'm going, too," she demanded, pushing herself off the wall and in front of me. I opened my mouth to object but she beat me to it, raising her voice in the process. "I was sent here to do a job and damn it, I'm not going to let you stop me from doing it."

"It's dangerous," I hissed.

She scrunched her nose in disgust and leaned towards me, pursing her lips angrily, and pushed her palm into my chest but I didn't budge. "I've put myself in tons of situations where I could've been killed. This is no different."

I growled. "I'm not letting you get hurt."

She stuck her nose up and crossed her arms over her chest and puffed it out, trying to mimic my stance but I only found it humorous but I didn't let it show, making sure she knew I was serious.

"Hmm, who said I care what you want me to do? I am my own woman. I will do whatever the hell I want and I don't need any one's protection. I will be fine all by myself."

I narrowed my eyes at her and uncrossed my arms to grab her arms but remember what consequences could follow and kept them at my side.

"This is our battle, not yours." I rebutted.

"And he's my brother," she stepped forward, closing the small distance between us until our noses almost touched. I could smell the mint of her toothpaste. She was angry, obviously, with her low, dangerous voice behind clenched teeth, her dark, fired eyes, and sharply straight lips.

Don't do it, Jake, I warned myself, holding myself back. I wanted nothing more than to kiss her senselessly but this is wasn't the right time.

She didn't know how dangerous she could be to a man. Her face would stop them dead in their tracks, and when she got passionate about something, angry being a substitute word, her lips puckered into perfectly kissable ones. Her eyes danced and hypnotized me. Her hair was carelessly tossed around shoulders and I couldn't think of nothing else but to mess it up some more…

Sam must have witnessed my internal struggle but was hesitant to intervene. If things went their natural course, Merris and I would be lying together after a long, exhausting night of love-making and we'd be another step closer to repairing our broken bond. I gulped to recoat my dry, irate throat.

Yeah right, Jake. Don't get ahead of yourself. She'll most likely kill you than sleep with you.

I blew a nervous breath and she jerked her head away, scrunching her face in disgust as it hit her face. Her angry expression stayed but she stepped back to regain some distance between us.

"I'm going whether you like it or not," Merris resolved.

I held back words, frustrated with her defiance. It was like dealing with a teenager!

"When are we going?" She asked Sam.

He shrugged. "Ask Jake. He makes the decisions."

She glared at me. She already knew how I would respond. "You're not going."

She gaped, struggling for words before she settled with violence instead. Her fist aimed at my stomach and the impact felt like a stake piercing my gut. She was swift with the punch and retracted her hand pack, shook her hand as if to shake the pain away, and stormed out of the room in a puff.

Embry stared, stunning, before his lips curled upwards but shut them to hold back his laughter. Sam didn't bothering holding his smirk.

"Thanks guys," I hissed sarcastically.

"You totally deserved it," Sam snickered.

Who knew a little girl could pack such a punch. I groaned in pain and kept crouched, afraid if I stretched upwards the pain would multiply.

"At least she didn't get any lower," Embry remarked and then laughed at the hypothetical situation. I was thankful she didn't. Maybe she actually was aiming down there but perhaps her aim sucked. If so, thank goodness. That would be excruciating.

"Why are you taking her side all of a sudden?" I spat.

Sam shrugged. "She deserves some support."

Embry agreed. "Plus, she's my sister. I have to back her up."

I glared at both of them before my attention was diverted to Merris storming back into the kitchen.

"Toughen up, Jake. Get up," she demanded. I stood up, to challenge her, only to be grabbed on the chin by her fingers. "Look me in the eyes," she ordered and I did. They were blazing black fire and it sunk my heart. I was in deep trouble. Her fingers skimmed my cheeks but held my chin firmly in place. "Listen to me good, got it? I. Am. Going, whether you like it or not." She tried to forcefully make me nod but I shook off her grasp and returned the action but instead my hands held her think waist and pulled her closer to me.

"Look at me, sweetheart, I ain't letting you go anywhere. You're going to stay here, behind locked doors, where you're safe."

She smirked, hiding something under her mischievous expression. I was unnerved. She became bold as she leaned closer to me until there was no air between us. I felt my body react to her touch, our bare skin protected by a thin layer of fabric but I could still feel the shape of her figure and assets and the heat radiating off of our skin. That little minx…

"Is that so," she purred. I gulped. Her hands crawled up my chest like a spider would until her finger tips stopped at the flesh above my shirt collar. I felt that spot tingle and my face heated up. Her smirk grew longer, if possible. Her hands shot up to grip the fabric off my shoulder and pulled herself up so our faces were closer. Our noses were touching and my heart went racing. She knew it damn well, too.

"May I remind you," she snarled next to my ear. My hands trembled on her waist and my mouth grew dry with anticipation. "If you don't let me go, I'll just go with Tony."

The man's name made my blood boil. I knew he was her partner but like hell I'd let her go out there without suitable protection. She was safe with me and I doubt anyone could compare. My hands clutched around the whimsy cotton of her shirt and tugged her closer. She knew how to get me worked up and this moment was no exception.

Her hair was in front of my face and a strong scent of watermelon overwhelmed me. I concentrated on the sweet nectar reminiscing from her midnight locks.

I heard Embry and Sam leave the room and I was glad it was just Merris and me.

"Jacob," her smooth voice quietly said. "Please, I need to be there. I need to see him. I need answers." She begged softly. My heart pattered slowly and I fought against my previous reasoning. She was desperate to go. I wanted her to be safe though. I didn't know how this guy would react. I didn't know if he'd hurt her. Yet, I couldn't take away Merris' probably only chance at closure.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and sniffed in her delicious aroma.

"You have to stay by me at all times, got it?" I compromised. My head was screaming at me that this was a huge mistake, my ego was, too, but she was my reassurance. She hugged me and nodded with gratitude.

"Thank you Jake," she whispered.

I didn't want to let her go but she urged me to as she tugged away. My hands hesitantly let go but I held her in place for a short lived moment, staring into her mellow eyes that seemed to have simmered down to dimmer ember.

My jaw locked, unable to say anything. It felt so right to have in her my reach, in my arms, and to actually feel her. For years I could only imagine her, fantasize about how I could get her back and fix my life, with her by my side of course, and now that she was finally here, I was speechless.

She tried to tear her eyes away from me but something kept them in sync with mind –maybe our faded bond? She was battling something. I could see it in her eyes, black like oil, swirling in turmoil.

"What's wrong?"

Her jaw locked and her eyes glazed over with tears. Her bottom lip trembled and her breathing became labored.

"Jake... I… I'm sorry…"

"I know, I know."

"Know you don't! You don't know what I'm talking about!"

"What? About running away?"

"No… I…"

"Is it about the other guys?"

"No… Jake…"

"Is it about the baby? I understand why you did it."

"No! It's not about any of those! It's not about the past!"

"Then what is it?"

I was getting nervous but stayed strong from Marisol who looked like she was about to faint. I held her waist in case she did so she would drop and hit her head on anything. She fought off my hands but my grip was stronger.

She took a shaky breathe. "I… no, it doesn't matter…"

"Merris," I demanded.

"I…" She pursed her lips and took in a long stream of air before letting it all out in a long sigh. "It'll hurt you, Jake. You don't want to know."

I nodded my head. "Yes, I do. I can take it. Just let it out."

"Seth and I…"

I knew it. My heart plummeted and I felt my stomach swell in dread. I felt light weight and adjusted my footing so I would fall in either direction but still kept my hands around her waist, fearing for her more than I did.

"It was a stupid night. He invited me over and we were talking and he said loved me and would do anything for me… we… I'm so sorry, Jake." She sobbed.

She tried to pull away from me, to cry by herself but I pulled her into my chest and let her cry into my shirt. She mumbled into my shirt.

"Why aren't you mad with me? Why aren't you screaming?"

"Because," I whispered on the crown on her head, "I'd rather you be honest with me than lie."


	14. Chapter 14

Marisol's POV

I was a rollercoaster of emotions. Frustrated, angry, sad, depressed… all symptoms of transformation. _Curse it all_, I thought wistfully. All these emotions made me crazy and unpredictable and I just spilled my secret to Jake. He made me guilty with those longing, trusting eyes. It made me sick inside to know I didn't return them and definitely betrayed his hopes by sleeping with one of his friends and pack member.

Yet, he was the one supporting me. It was ironic and uncomfortable but I hid my face into his chest until my eyes couldn't leak anymore. I was scared to look up to see is expression. Was he disappointed, upset, or angry or all of the above? My heart sank. I couldn't bear knowing I had inflicted that kind of pain in him and also extremely embarrassed I let myself fall so easily and screw Seth over. Ugh, I am no better than a whore.

We stayed there for a long time and I felt my body relax in her arms. I was disgusted and frustrated with myself and how my body caved so easily to his touch yet I couldn't pull away. My will was weakened.

We both jumped when my phone rang in my pocket. I extended my hand and pulled it out of my pocket and immediately read Tony's name on my screen. With an effortless tap, I put it on speaker.

"Tony," I greeted lowly. "What's up?"

"Hmm," I could imagine him adorning a smirk on his face. "Was I interrupting something?"

I rolled my eyes and placed my finger on Jacob's lips to keep him quiet, mouthing a silent warning.

"No you weren't," I hissed. "What's so important? It's eleven o'clock at night."

"Really, I was just checking. You know it's close to that time of that month."

"Tony!" I hissed. No one needed to know that information. Jacob's face contorted into disgust. I swatted at him to shake it off. He didn't need to put his impute on the subject. He could just keep it to himself.

"One, I came to warn you about a certain-"

I cut him off and turned off speaker and pressed the phone to my ear and walked to the other side of the kitchen. Like a nosy puppy, he followed me and I stuck out my hand to stop him from a getting too close.

"-About a certain time of the month," Tony continued smoothly. "You know, _heat_."

I cringed at the thought. I glanced at Jacob nervously before diverting my line of sight towards the blackened window. Jacob stepped forward closer to me, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off, being inappropriate during the moment when the subject was being introduced. Jacob looked worried. He had nothing to worry about. If anything, I was the one in huge trouble.

"So, what are you doing to do? I can't be around here when that time comes."

Jake's eye brows furrowed. I shot him a look and shooed him away but he stubbornly stayed in place.

"Sorry, Mary, until this case is settled, you're stuck there."

"What? Seriously, I can't be here. It's…"

"Dangerous?" Tony teased. "It's not dangerous. Just stay at Seth's place, I'm sure he won't mind the excessive sex."

I clutched the phone and pressed it closer to my ear to muffle his voice so Jacob wouldn't hear. My face turned bright red.

"How did you know about him?"

"I've kept tabs on you, sweetheart." I could imagine his smirk grow into a dark grin.

"No, no, I can't be anywhere near here."

Jacob's face lifted and I felt a little guilty that I offended him.

By surprise, he snatched the phone out of my hand and with a serious face he pressed the speaker button and looked at me directly. I silently pleaded with him, desperately trying to retrieve my phone back.

"What's the matter? Why can't Merris stay here?" His voice was thick with frustration and strained anger. I tugged on his arms but surprised me when, like a vice, held my close to his body and locked my arms tight against my body, unable to move.

I squeaked.

I heard Tony chuckle from the other side of the phone and I sneered. Today was not a time to showcase his crude humor.

"Mary is just worried about how her heat will affect some of the pack," I growled lowly at Tony but he didn't hear me, I don't think, because he kept talking.

"Heat," Jacob repeated, confused.

"You know, _heat_." When Jacob didn't respond, Tony sighed and elaborated more, much to my embarrassment. "A lot like dogs, it's when they're in the prime of reproduction. In this case, for werewolves, happens twice a year where females have the best chance at fertilization."

"Tony!" I screeched, growing redder.

Jacob's eyebrows rose, surprised.

"Of course, females have to act on the opportunity. It's a part of nature's circle." I could imagine him smirking. "She'll be seizing up every opportunity that presents itself. She won't care so much about the men but focus more on the chances on being successfully impregnated."

Jacob looked like a fish the way he gaped and I looked down, red in embarrassment and shame, to avoid his eyes.

"It's not her fault. During those few days, averaging a week or two, her animal instincts take over. She has no control over her actions. Though I'm impressed she can manage isolating herself for the past years to avoid it actually happening. She's quite headstrong."

Staring at the floor, I tried to control my thoughts and reorganize my mind but too many scenarios kept popping up and it made me sick to my stomach. I don't want a baby out of wedlock and I certainly wasn't ready to take up the responsibility of being a mother. I'd have to start all over again and that'd be exhausting. I'd have to leave my job to give the child its fair share of devotion and attention and have to look all over town for a new job to keep a steady income. I thought about it before, being a secretary or paralegal or some kind of assistant, something harmless and simple as putting data into the computer, but the comprehension of change wasn't tangible yet.

Plus there's also the issue over the father. What if he was a guy I didn't even know? I didn't want to force him into being a father nor would I want to make his life more complex with my inhuman issues or even face his reaction to the news. I get it, people are scared of things they don't know, especially at the concept of werewolves, and I wouldn't hate him if he ran but I'd feel so disappointed that my baby wouldn't have a father. I would feel like I chased him away and hate myself for it.

Then, what if I was too dangerous for my child? I doubted it. It's nature. I'd be protective and be a fitting mother but modern society wouldn't see it that way. Plus there should be more female werewolves out there in the world who are experienced with the process. They're not killing their kids. They're successful. They would see me as a danger, ignorant of nature's dynamics, and take it upon themselves to tear the child out of my arms and into foster care or another family. That would be a horrible ending. But I'm sure I could hide it. No one would have to figure out what I was and I'd keep my bond with my baby. The father, knowing or not, would trust me as a mother and my mothering instincts instead of my predatory ones, that is if we was even present.

"Merris," Jacob snapped me out of my mental ramblings. I hesitantly looked up, biting my bottom lip nervously to keep my thoughts un-verbalized.

His face surprised me. He was grinning, amused by my embarrassment, and unlatched me from his grasp, letting my stumble back onto my feet to regain some balance.

He handed me back my phone, Tony off line, and I shoved it back into my pocket.

"What did you hear?" I growled behind clenched teeth.

He laughed and his lips curled into a smirk. I glared at him. He crossed his arms over his chest and loomed over me. I stepped back to reassign some distance.

"Don't you dare," I warned. I stretched my arms to push him away but he was quicker and pulled me back into his vice-grip like arms. "Jake," I spat, but my voice was muffled.

His chest shook with laughter and I struggled in his grip but to no prevail.

"It's going to be so fun with you here," he boldly stated. I gaped. The audacity of him!

"If you think that you're going to get lucky with me, you are dead wrong."

He chuckled. "From what I heard, you'll change your mind pretty quickly."

"You horny bastard," I cursed.

"On contrary, you're the one that will have her hormone's raging."

He pulled me forward to stare me down with humored eyes.

"Well," I pulled on a sarcastically sweet smile while I spoke, "understand this. This here," I motioned to my torso and below, "is off limits. I don't care if I jump you, scream your name to kingdom come, and beg you to satisfy any need I have," I stepped closer so we would smell each other's breathe. "If you comply and I find myself naked next to you, you will have hell to pay."

He grinned. "It'll be so worth it."

I slapped his arm. "No, it will not be worth it. I don't want to risk actually getting pregnant! And like hell if I were to share a parental position for you. I don't like sharing or compromising for anything. If I have a kid, I'm raising it in Florida, not in this shitty place."

He shrugged. "Right now, that's not a big problem. We always have time to talk about. 9 months to be exact."

"Don't be cocky, you egotistical ass."

"Swear all you want, sweetheart. I guarantee you won't be able to fight your natural urges."

"I can fight a lot of things. You will be the top of my list to resist."

He laughed and wrapped an arm around my waist to pull me closer. He has a musky smell I breathed in. I shivered but tried to suppress it but Jake felt it and held me closer.

"Be aware," I hissed, looking up in him, "every male that I pass, whether it be Quil, Paul, or perhaps, even Tony," I threw in random names that had him twinge, "I'll be looking at them as prospective sperm donors. I'll be looking at their best qualities and if those qualities are good to pass down onto the next generation. And as you said, I won't be in control of my emotions or urges, so who knows, I'll be whoring around with the whole pack."

Jacob raised a brow and smirked. "But I'm the Alpha. Your inner wolf can't resist that."

I growled. "We'll see."

"You two did _what_?" Leah screeched, pacing around _her_ apartment, the one in which we were originally supposed to meet at before. Leah was okay with the switch to Seth's place when we planned it during the short duration between Jacob's and I discussion to when I stepped out of his door.

Who knew what a simple Wednesday TV night could've ended like this, I thought.

"It's bad enough I had to hear it from Jacob of all people," she continued to rant. She blew a heavy, hot breath that clustered the whole room, making it uncomfortable to breathe. "I'm am hurt that you, of all people Seth, deceived me. You told me you two would talk! _Talk_! Not… not…" Her face heated, obviously embarrassed of the word "sex" between her best friend and brother. "Ugh!" She cried out in frustration. "And you, Merris! I would trust you to tell me this! But no, you kept it a secret from me! Do you know how hurt and insulted I am? How disgusted I am with both of you?"

Seth looked redder than I did, biting his bottom lip nervously while I just sunk deeper into her couch, wishing it were a black hole instead.

I'd never thought that I'd see a day Leah would freak out more than Jake would, especially when it came to the topic of her brother, but here I was, being chewed out.

"I told you it was a bad idea," I hissed at Seth, directing a glare at him, which couldn't compare to Leah's.

"You are just as guilty as I am," he redirected, shoving a finger into my shoulder.

I gaped at the spot. How dare he blame me!

"Enough," Leah spat. We both looked at her and we slunk lower into a bottomless pit of shame. I'm sure Jacob would _love_ this. "Seth, why would you put yourself in this position? Why would you hurt Olivia like that? You better thank God that she didn't hear about this. She'd be devastated!"

Seth and I shared a bewildered look.

"What about Olivia? Why should she be concerned?" I asked as the same time as Seth.

"What does she have anything to do with this?" His voice boomed over mine. Something is his eyes told me he knew something or suspected something that I didn't know. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Olivia was a regular topic, I presumed, or even just a familiar one, I began to suspect.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about," Leah accused, snarling. "I've told you plenty times."

He glared at his sister and dared to stand up, forgetting about her scowling, and returned an accusing finger.

"And I've told you plenty of times, you're wrong!" He yelled back.

"What are you talking about?" I interjected, sitting up straight, staring at the two Clearwater siblings.

Seth gave me a look and I was instantly puzzled why he was so angry. Leah looked at me with a grim frown. She figured out I was in the complete dark about what was going on.

"Merris," she announced to me, passing Seth roughly, hitting his shoulder with her own, on her way to sit next to me. She laid a comforting hand on my knee. Seth growled a few feet away, turning around to face us with hostile eyes. Leah's same colored eyes dimmed to a softer emotion. I recognized those same eyes plenty of times, whenever I was going to receive bad news from her mouth directly, always just to soften the blow. My jaw locked. I tried to do whatever I could to prepare me from getting hurt but my mind was at a loss.

"Seth," she started, nodding her towards her brother, "is Olivia's imprint. He doesn't realize it. He's too blind to see it but she knew the first moment she saw him 3 years ago when Jake brought her to La Push. She's always been on the sidelines, not wanting to bother Seth, but each day going to lonely bed really hurts her, Merris."

I gaped. "I didn't know! I swear I didn't," I defended myself, stuttering.

"I know, I know," Leah agreed, pushing me back onto the couch I didn't know I rose from in defiance. "No one knows except for Jake, Olivia, and I. Seth should have suspected it, too, but he's too thick headed to."

"Leah," Seth warned, his fist tightening.

"No Seth," Leah demanded, her face flashing into a glare. "You shouldn't have dragged Merris into this delusion of yours. She has her own problems." Seth was about to say something but she cut him off with a new set of words. "I'm not saying she is destined to be with Jake, I could care less about the ass and you know it. I don't approve of Olivia being hurt though. She has done nothing to us yet you treat her like she's trash when she isn't."

He diverted his eyes and stared at her doorway. "She's Marisol's replacement! She isn't one of us."

Leah shook her head and muttered insulting adjectives about him. "She's not. She Jake's friend, that's all. The two haven't _slept_ together." She spat the word out, verbally piercing his chest, making him cringe. "Because she's faithful like that," she added, glaring at her brother.

Seth remained silent for a while as Leah refocused her attention towards me.

"I'm sorry you were dragged into this. I'll be honest, if it wasn't for Olivia, I would have totally approved of you and Seth but I don't think another innocent heart should be stepped on because of a selfish guy. Seriously Seth," she spat towards him again, "Jake was bad enough. Why on earth would you try to follow in his footsteps?"

He still stayed silent but lifted his chin higher, willed by his pride.

I took in a deep breath and gaped at the void space in between Leah and me, afraid to look her in the eyes.

"How…?" I was able to mutter.

Leah shrugged. "It's not my place to tell her story but I suppose since she heard yours that it's only fair enough she'd be willing to let me tell hers."

Seth's eyes drifted from a far space back to us, slowly slight curiosity.

Leah breathed in slowly and adjusted herself, crossing her legs into a pretzel shape and leaning her back against her couch's arm, padded by a pillow, and pulled some hair out of her face.

"Since you left, Merris, Jake went on this insane cross-country search for you, going to everywhere and anywhere. I don't specify where because I'm sure he'll get mad at me for spilling. What he did, that's his business and I respect him enough somewhat as Alpha to leave him with that privacy, plus I'm sure you want to hear it coming out of his mouth, not mine. I will say the part where he meets Olivia though. You know she looks a lot like you, right?"

I nodded. I had noticed the identical face shape and eye color, the only difference was the hair texture and color. Mine was thicker, blacker, and curler, even though I used the straighter more often than not, while she had naturally long, thinner, mahogany colored hair without a widow's peak.

"Jake confused her for you at a distance when he stopped by some tiny town in New Mexico. He barely caught a glimpse of her but with what he saw of her face, he was sure it was you and his hope sparked. He looked all over her, calling her Merris mostly, asking locals what they knew about her. Usually they shook their heads and coward away, you know, because he was intimidating with his Alpha physique. That got the attention of the town sheriff who questioned him about his intentions. Jake explained he was looking for his runaway best friend, how everybody was missing you and he suspected that you'd seek shelter somewhere familiar like in the southern states."

Leah shook her head, silently berating him. I could only imagine the words coursing through her mind, 'bullshit' being a high candidate.

"Jake showed him a picture and the sheriff bellowed out. 'Oh my, that's uncanny. That looks like my niece, Liv! I'm sorry Son, but you have the wrong girl. Liv has lived here her whole life with my sister, Katrina, and her husband, Ted. That isn't Merris. I wish you good luck though on your search!' That wasn't enough to deter Jake and he waited for her to come out of the gym she went to. Suddenly, their eyes meet and," Leah demonstrated with a snap, "suddenly she ran for no reason. He chased her to a gully where she surprisingly shifted into a wolf, growling at him with bared teeth. Now he knew why she was so shy of him. He was a threat of similar species and she could feel he had the upper advantage, conquering his inner wolf a long time ago."

"After an hour of coaxing, he began to reason with her, now sure that this wasn't you. She shifted back, scared, naked, and confused, and only knew that he was like her. He gave her his shirt and walked her back to her car where the two began to talk. Olivia was charmed by Jake but he didn't return the feelings and she could see that. Whenever he spoke your name, his face would contort to pain and remorse and she knew he was deeply in love with you. In exchange for help on dealing with her new abilities, she said she'd gladly track around the US with him to look for you. All she wanted was a companion who knew what she was going through and Jake filled that empty spot. She left her whole life in the tiny reservation of Red Drift to sport some adventure with Jake. 3 months the two drove together and within those two months they grew close," Leah twisted her fingers to visualize it.

"Olivia revealed that her life was boring, stuck, and uneventful, with exception of the recent wolf attack where she was bitten in the gym parking lot, not aware of how dangerous the infectious bite was. Next full moon later, she finds a dead fox carcass beside her. She had never been more traumatized. She felt isolated and alone until Jake came along to give her guidance. Since then, she's depended on him for stability. He's all she has left, well except for Seth, if he wasn't so hard headed."

She shot her brother a glare.

Her story seemed spotty, not quite detailed enough, but I didn't doubt it. It felt wrong of me if I were to.

"How do you know?" I asked.

"She told me a long time ago over the phone. It was a rare encounter for us because we only met once before at a party. I contacted her to see why she was in La Push and she, feeling like I was trustworthy confidant, spilled all her problems out to me. I tried to be comforting but even I'll admit I don't feel close to her like I am to you. You understood me on a personal level and you reached out to keep me company when the rest of the pack picked on me. I don't think I'll ever get so close to a girl as I am with you."

I would've been flattered but all the sentimental stuff was making me feel out of place. I was never a person to get personal with, especially after Jake's deception. Leah was an exception but even then I had limits. My cheek heated up.

"She told me after I told her I was Seth's sister that he was her soul mate, her imprint. She was so excited to finally have someone to share feelings with, to start a family with, and with settle down with, and a shape shifter none the less! She didn't even talk to him and thought the world of him. She praised his good looks, his friendly nature among the pack, how he adored our nieces and nephews when Emily asked him to watch the twins while she helped Kim cook. She could already picture her life with him. A true romantic at heart," Leah mused. "I thought Seth would reciprocate but I was dreadfully wrong. Seth avoided her at all cost and soon enough she got the message. She was heartbroken. She tried to pursue him but decided she would give him space, thinking he'd hate her if she became too clingy. Now she's forgotten, heartbroken and abandoned."

My throat tightened and I felt extreme amounts of sympathy for her. She was a good woman, no doubt about that, who I compared to with a puppy, an innocent, lonely puppy wanting to be loved and given attention. It seemed like Jacob had escaped from the picture and all I could think about were her big, doe, brown eyes glazing with tears, an exact replica of my own face six years ago, and it broke my heart. Something in my snapped inside, a secretly buried instinct I thought I lost long ago: A protective one.

I glared at Seth. "I refuse to let you ruin your life, Seth. One way or another, we will fix this. She's going to get her happy ending she deserves. You can't deny it, Seth. You have a chance at being truly happy but you can't see it. Damn it, Seth, wake up and smell the coffee! It's time to wake up!"

"Are you sure you want this?" Seth asked me. He probably expected me to be hurt, like him, but I didn't ache for the reasons he thought. I ached because I disappointed another person. I knew he had a tremendous crush on me and it confused him that I was pushing him away right after an intimate night.

I was a whore. I get it! I was used to the word, no longer shamed by it. I didn't care what people thought anymore. It was the fact that I hurt Seth by _using_ him, I bet he thought. In actuality, I wasn't a romantic person. I kept personal feelings at bay to protect myself from getting hurt or sidetracked. Unfortunately, Seth, like many others, became a casualty of my cruelness.

His face fell when I shook my head. Leah sighed behind the wheel, keeping her eyes focused on the ice smeared roads, careful to control her outdated Sedan.

"Seth," I tried to reason with him again, avoiding eye contact to spare me from the tremendous guilt already chewing at me. "You and Olivia have the best chances at happiness and I'm not going to deny her that."

"What about me?" Seth rounded my statement. I resisted the urge to glare at him.

"You will be happy, Seth, when you embrace it." I insisted. "Few people are given the opportunity to have a soul mate."

"You were one of them," Seth made a snide remark, trying to debate that imprints don't work.

"Jake and I are different. He didn't want me, Seth. He wanted Bella, just like you're supposed to be with Olivia but are too blinded with your infatuation with me. Don't argue with it, Seth, especially if you never gave it a chance."

"You got hurt in the end," he retorted.

I shrugged. "In some cases, people do. Stop fretting over what happened between Jake and I. In fact, learn from our mistakes. Olivia wants you. She loves you, even if you never gave her the time." With that said, I concluded and stayed silent the rest of the short drive, thinking about the situation, and I assumed Seth did, too, because he didn't say anything else.

I knew something like this was bound to happen. Maybe that's why it didn't hurt so much. I didn't get attached to Seth in a romantic way, knowing that if I did, I'd be shot in the heart again when he found his match. Of course, I felt happy for him, as a friend, that he found someone to fulfill those needs he had for a partner, a wife, and probably mother of his children. I was never suited for that life, I mused, watching the blackened trees blur by.

It seemed like Jake had known something was up because as we pulled up, he waited for us on the porch. Seth stepped out from the backseat while Leah and I proceeded slowly out of her car, anxious about how to approach this. Jake nodded at Leah, suspiciously glanced at Seth, and then at me. His eyes widened at my face, heavy and sad, and he pushed himself off the railing and leapt off the stairs to engulf me in his arms and lead me into the warm house where a fire blazed. I was so numb I didn't bother fighting him and shamefully walked alongside him, rarely looking up from the ground.

Inside Olivia glanced at me from the couch when she muted her reality TV show. She got up and sized up Seth who followed behind his sister.

I glared at Seth, silently demanding him to drop the sourness in his face, but Jacob must have mistaken the situation and thought something personal happened between Seth and me and intervened.

"What happened?" He demanded.

Leah replied for us. "Nothing that concerns you, Jake," she insisted. She nodded towards the door. "You two go outside and give Seth and Liv some space, okay?"

Without a word, I headed out the door, tugging Jake's hand behind me to get him to follow me out. He immediately took advantage of my willing touch and clamped his big hands around like mine. It felt like a chain and I gritted my teeth but hid my sour face from Jake.

As soon as the door behind us closed, I tried to pull it out of Jake's grasp but he was too strong and pulled me back instead. The momentum of his strength swerved me around and slammed me into the hard chest. Stunned and in minor pain as the sudden slam echoed within my jaw that unfortunately hit his shoulder bone, he undid his hand on mine and linked his arms around my feeble waist. I tried to glare up at him but the angle strained my neck and I settled with resting my chin on his shoulder.

"What's going on?" Jake asked, rubbing my back. "You look upset. Did Seth do that?"

My hands curled into fist but I didn't move them, restricted in space and flexibility, caught tightly in his lock.

"Nothing," my voice strained. "It's nothing. I'm just a bit exhausted."

Jake didn't seem to believe me and kept me in his vice-grip.

After a minute, he looked back at the house, his sight blocked by the closed, wooden door, curiosity obvious on his face.

"Leah and I forced him to give Olivia a chance," I hope, I added mentally. He could've lied to us and is re-breaking her heart in there all over again. No, Leah wouldn't allow it and talk some sense into him, especially with me not present to stress him. "I'm not letting him miss out at a chance at having true love and true happiness. I'm not letting him give up a good thing because of me. I won't let that hang over my head and have him hate me for it later on."

Jake nodded.

"I don't want him following my mistakes," Jake admitted. His thumb needled into my tense back therapeutically. Subconsciously I leaned in and rested my chin on his shoulder. My fist relaxed and my palms rested against his pecks. He breathed in heavily and sighed like a heave. "Look how we ended up. Seth was making a mistake chasing you when he Olivia just like I made a mistake pursuing Bella when I had you. I'm really sorry about that. I don't know how many times I have to apologize for you to understand how truly regretful I am."

It was my turn to breathe in heavily. "It doesn't matter anymore, Jake. It's not like we'll ever see each other again. When this case is done, I'm getting the hell out of here."

Even if I knew it was the truth, Jake's statement about chasing me was Seth's mistake really stung. I tried to ignore it but it kept nagging in my already twisted, sick stomach. I couldn't help but feel like a plague by the way everybody should stay clear of me.

Jacob's grip tightened and I felt the wind get knocked out of my lungs.

For a few moments it was pure silence.

"What do you think their talking about in there?" I had to ask, cutting the uncomfortable silence.

I felt Jake shrug. "I honestly don't know. Seth has a lot of making up to do."

I agreed with a stiff nod, not having much space to work with, seeing as Jake held me tightly to his chest.

A distinct smell made its way up my nose. I scrunched my nose up in disgust. It was salty, metallic and almost rusty. I recognized it immediately: Blood. I gasped and with force I didn't know I had, I shoved Jake aside to his surprise and raised my head, trying to catch the direction where the smell was coming from. The wind blew from the west, I could tell, as it slapped my left cheek.

"Jake," I all but growled. He tensed. "Do you smell that?"

"Yeah," his sharply replied, stepping my side and protectively pulling me behind him, silently dominant and physically displaying his power over me, with that gesture telling me to not test him or his authority. With a scowl, I boldly stepped behind farther just to get around him. His intense dark eyes challenged mine. "Marisol," he snapped, grabbing my arms and pushing me back towards his house. "You stay here. I'm not letting you put yourself in danger."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You can't tell me what to do. You can join me or fight me on it on the way there."

He growled but was unable to grab this time as I already made a few yards across the empty lot. "Seth!" he barked. "Stay here with Liv! We have to check something out!" He joined my side in a few second and led me in the other direction, "if you want to help, go gather the rest of the pack and then they'll take you there. I'm not letting you go first because you're much more vulnerable than me."

I didn't want to say it because of my strong stand on not getting close to Jake but the thought of him confronting danger made me cringe. I didn't trust my brother, and I knew, like me, he'd most likely attack Jake in defense if he felt cornered. I almost protested but my mind reminded me not to admit I felt even the slightest emotion for my ex-boyfriend.

Maybe it's not him but my brother? I tried to reason with myself. Maybe it's because I know there won't be any reasoning or compromise. It'll be absolutely fatal for them to meet, most likely my brother being the casualty. The stinging in my eyes brought me back in reality and I felt Jake's hand wipe a tear off of my cheeks. He looked pained. I bit back a sharp insult. He felt nothing compared the anguish I felt over my brother's demise and I didn't even know him. I made the resolve right there and then to meet him first, determined to somehow alter his fate and give a fair chance to live.

You're forgetting he's a heartless killer, my conscience told me.

So am I, I reminded myself. I killed before, too, and not just on the job. We're all animals, I reasoned, but by no means should my brother be put down like one.

"You go them yourselves," I yelled, and then darted towards the woods, a mass of emotions running through my veins, painfully pushing up in my skin to the point I thought they would burst. I knew another transformation was coming, it was inevitable, and I propelled myself faster as I could so Jake would be less likely to catch up with me. Finally, after what seemed like ten minutes, I collapsed, exhausted and rippling with pain, and desperate for breath. That's when I heard the first crack and the God-forsaken pain only a millisecond after. I held back a scream. The worst was yet to come.

I heard another crack but this time it came from outside my body and I heard a rustling of leaves follow. I tried to look up but my neck was stiff and wouldn't allow it.

"Shh," whispered a masculine voice. "Shh," it repeated and I felt his hand levitate over my torso before laying it gently on my sore ribs. "It'll be all right. I'm right here. I'm sorry."

Then I administered the unusual smell, the same smell that alerted me before, blood. I gasped and tried to move my body but my pain kept me put in the fetal position.

"Who are you?" I hissed, both from fright and pain. I wanted so desperately to know his name, his life, and why he was doing this, and at the same time frightened that Jake might get to him before I got my answer.

His hand kept running up and down my body, soothing me. "I'm your little brother."

I locked my jaw. "I know that," I whimpered, "but _who_ are you?"

"I'm Carson."

"Carson," I repeated to myself, trying to imagine a face to go with the boyish name. He would've looked a lot like me, round face and thick locks but I saw a bit of Sam in him, in the eyes department, dark and wider than mine. "Nice to meet you," I whispered, my voice strained and hoarse.

He chuckled, "You, too, sis. Though the circumstances are ironic, don't you think?"

"Life is full of irony, ain't it?"

He chuckled again and then surprisingly hoisted me up bridal style. "Sorry if I get blood over your clothes." I assumed he meant by his hands around my waste and thighs.

I resisted the urge to shrug. "They're going to get destroyed anyways."

"We have a lot of catching up to do," he told me, holding me tight. My face was pressed to his shoulder and when I finally saw his face, I gasped. I was utterly stunned by the familiarity. I knew him!


	15. Author's Note: Read Asap

You are probably wondering what's up with the vast amount of updating for one day, well, seeing as I had an hour or two to spare from packing to dad's house to preparing to work, I simply cut my rough draft document in pieces and posted it so all of you were up to date. Where I left off is where I suffered a really back case of writer's block but I'm finally back on track with new inspiration. :P

My new turn will probably surprise you but you'll just have to see for yourself. Now I have to go and change into my work attire before I leave in half an hour. (I still have to eat lunch too!)

I love ya all and please forgive me for my mistakes, this draft is unedited and I couldn't fix the italics when I transferred the chapters so I'll work on that later. Hopefully you don't get too confused. XD

I'll see ya'll soon!


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